I am a big believer in play in the bedroom, and I'm excited that you'll get to join me in this conversation with Adam and Karissa King today. Adam and Karissa have a fun Instagram account called Dear Young, Married Couple. And that's how I first met them a few years ago.

And get this. They are both marriage counselors.

It's a husband and wife team and they are an absolute hoot as you'll get to hear today. I'm grateful we can talk about this topic today because I think all of us need a little boost of creativity and inspiration once in a while, especially when it comes to things in the bedroom, because we all need it to keep the passion alive.

News and Resources

Games mentioned in the episode: Sheets and Ladders, Sensation Card Deck

If you're in an otherwise happy marriage, but struggle to see eye to eye when it comes to sexual intimacy, I highly recommend you check out our upcoming couples retreat for next March (prices go up in the new year).

Check out our Get Your Marriage On Program. These programs are effective at helping you and your spouse communicate better about these things in a relationship and really move the needle in the positive direction.

Our first annual "Get-it-on-athon" is in full swing! Learn more about how to support a worthy couple's fertility journey as you come closer as a couple!

Are you struggling with how to explore your eroticism? Our new and improved Sexploration List can help! Rank your own preferences and desires in 13 different areas and explore and talk about those things together. You'll discover where your desires intersect and maybe get some ideas you both like, but have never thought of!

Intimately Us app - for couples who want to spice up their marriage, get new ideas, and learn how to love each other better.

Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

It's hard to believe that my wife and I started this work eight years ago! At that time we were 13 years into a happy marriage, but something was missing. We just didn't quite know what it was. And that's when a friend opened up to me about his sex life and taught me about how a healthy, vibrant sexual relationship permeates not only the marriage relationship, but adds texture color in life to all other aspects of life, too. As we focused on enhancing our sexual intimacy as a couple, what my friend told me was absolutely right.

And we've been on a mission to share this message ever since.

That's why I'm excited to tell you about today's guest, Tanya Hale, as she's learned something similar. She calls it being a "well-sexed woman" in that she's found how a connecting and vibrant sex life gives more creativity to life and everyday living. You'll get to hear Tanya's story of a failed marriage, the valuable lessons she learned immediately afterwards, and the new marriage that she's created. You'll learn about the importance of emotional safety and connection, as well as some of her tips to living well and a happy marriage.

News and Resources

Join the first annual Get-it-On-athon fundraiser! Check out how you can help a couple struggling with infertility have a baby by next Christmas!

  Speaking of Christmas, why not ditch the stuff that accumulates and instead invest in experiences that will pay dividends and expand your relationship? Why not attend our upcoming couples retreat in March 2025?

Get Your Marriage On Program: work with me and my team in a coaching setting to help you overcome the specific challenges with intimacy in your marriage. Don't miss the testimonials on the results page, as well, to see how this program is changing the lives of other couples!

I used to think the word erotic was associated with unsavory things like X-rated films, Las Vegas billboards, or sites are not supposed to visit online. But the more I've done this work with myself and in my marriage and with other couples, the more I've come to love eroticism.

The root word for erotic is the Greek word eros, which literally means desire. 

Plato, a Greek philosopher, taught that eros is more than just sexual desire; it's the life force, passionate power that drives individuals to pursue beauty wisdom and even the divine. When you live with this eros feeling, it invites you to yearn for something beyond yourself, close gaps, seek intimacy, and to reach a higher, more spiritual level of love.

Sexual eroticism then are those things that give your intimate moments in your marriage, meaning yearning for closeness and ultimately makes your marriage fill alive and growing and to have love worth making.  By that definition. It's no wonder that red light districts X-rated films and brothels are actually anti-erotic, because when you think of it, those aren't full of that life force. They are full of misery and loneliness instead.  

Anyway, I've come to appreciate that every person has things that they find erotic. What we find sexually exciting is as unique as our fingerprints. In this episode, I'm joined by sex therapist, Jessa Zimmerman. And this episode, we'll talk about what eroticism is, why erotic fantasies are important, and how to work through the challenges that couples face in sharing and negotiating sexual fantasies. We'll also discuss tips for building a stronger marriage through your God-given eroticism.  

News and Resources

Our first annual "Get-it-on-athon" is in full swing! Learn more about how to support a worthy couple's fertility journey as you come closer as a couple!

Reserve your spot at our next Couples Retreat in March 2025 (prices go up in 2025)

Are you struggling with how to explore your eroticism? Our new and improved Sexploration List can help! Rank your own preferences and desires in 13 different areas and explore and talk about those things together. You'll discover where your desires intersect and maybe get some ideas you both like, but have never thought of!

Intimately Us app - for couples who want to spice up their marriage, get new ideas, and learn how to love each other better.

Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

Today is a continuation of last week's question and answer episode, and I am so thankful for all the courageous couples who reached out with their questions. Here's what we discuss in this episode:

• A husband wondering about using dildos and double penetration and getting some guidance there.
• A wife whose husband has been experiencing erectile dysfunction and navigating her own lack of satisfaction in bed.
• A husband reaching looking for some advice after he reacted poorly to discovering some erotic reading that his wife was doing and navigating the aftermath of what happened.
• A husband wondering if he is being selfish for wanting sex because his wife is showing a low level of interest, or none at all.

You can submit your anonymous questions on our website here.

And don't forget to check out last week's episode (#215) for more answers to your questions.

Resources:

December's "Get it On-a-thon" Fundraiser: Get Frisky for Fertility!

Intimately Us App

2025 Couples Retreat

You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com 

It's time to answer some more questions from our listeners! Today I'm joined by my colleague, Caroline, to discuss some of the questions that you have. We cover the following topics:

• A husband who's struggling to connect emotionally with his wife, and he wants to learn how to do that without shutting down.
• A wife is struggling to find ways to connect romantically and sexually, and to have that desire for her spouse, even though he's stopped using porn, which had impacted their marriage.
• A husband is wondering about penis size and how that's impacting his marriage.
• A husband struggling with premature ejaculation wants to know how to satisfy his wife more.
• A husband who has a wife who thinks that anything beyond missionary position is gross and wondering how to navigate this challenge that they're facing.
• A wife who's feeling a great deal of sadness because she wants to feel desired by her husband, including through compliments, though currently she feels like she's not desired in words or actions.

You can submit your anonymous questions on our website here.

And don't forget to tune in next week for Part 2 of this Q&A series!

Resources:

December's "Get it On-a-thon" Fundraiser: Get Frisky for Fertility!

Intimately Us App

2025 Couples Retreat

You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com 

Broadly speaking, men are generally more interested in sex than women. However, there are exceptions. Some estimate that 20 to 30% of married couples are in marriages where the wife is the one with actually the higher libido or the higher sex drive. However you want to call it, higher desire wives have a unique challenge that higher desire husbands don't have, as well as having many similarities and challenges in just having libido differences in the marriage that both a higher and lower desire couple faces.

My guest today is Cat Roebuck. She's a fellow sex and marriage coach, and she's an expert when it comes to living as a higher desire wife and the challenges associated with that. And I'm so lucky to have her on my podcast today. She also happens to be my cousin!

In this episode, we're going to talk about how to better understand sexual desire, differences in marriage from a higher desire wives point of view. I particularly liked the discussion about how to love with our sexuality or through our sexuality and not just treat our sexuality as a reward for good behavior or on the other side of love.

It's actually a way we can love others. Also, you'll gonna like her black belt sex tip at the end!

Resources:

December's "Get it On-a-thon" Fundraiser: Get Frisky for Fertility!

Intimately Us App

2025 Couples Retreat

You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com 

Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

Sexual desire differences are, unfortunately, very common. In fact, it's one of the top reasons why couples seek sex therapy or any kind of help in their marriage.

It's really painful to be in a relationship where your spouse doesn't desire you the same way you desire them. And while it's painful for the spouse with the higher libido or higher desire, it's also just as painful (for different reasons) for the person with a lower desire/lower libido.

The good news is that there are actually tools and solutions to help couples get on the same page sexually, and we'll discuss some of these in this episode.

I was interviewed by my friend Taylor Chambers, a marriage and family therapist. Since we talk about these things often on this platform, we've included this interview on the Get Your Marriage On Podcast.

In this episode, we cover the following:

• I share some of my personal examples from my own marriage
• Why traditional sex therapy doesn't quite work.
• The role of pleasure
• Integrity culture versus purity culture

If you and your spouse have differences in sexual desire that's causing some problems in your marriage, you're in luck because next week I'm going live doing a deep dive discussion on this very topic.

What: How to Fix Mismatched Sex Drives without Therapy or Pressure, Live Masterclass

When: November 14, 6 pm Pacific / 9pm Eastern

Register Here

More Resources:

Intimately Us App

2025 Couples Retreat

You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com 

Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

There's a lot of stress in parenthood (and regular life) that presses on the couple's relationship, which Emily and I know firsthand as parents to 6 children. And I know that maintaining intimacy and being lovers while also being parents and good at our jobs and other responsibilities is a challenge many of us face, which is why I'm so interested in this topic today.

And I had so much fun recording this episode with my guest, Sofia Ashley. She's a hoot! Sofia has been a sex coach for 10 years and has a program called "Sex After Kids" and she's the founder of The Happy Vagina Project. 

In this episode we discuss how to have a party your libido would like to show up to and the importance of nervous system regulation, effective communication, and emotional support (over depending on outside things like toys or lingerie). You'll get to hear her strategies for transitioning from being a busy mom to a hot wife. And be sure to stay to the end to hear her black belt sex tip!

Resources:

Intimately Us App

FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less

2025 Couples Retreat

You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com 

Episode Highlights

2:08: Bedroom fail

5:12: Novelty falls flat if there's not deeper connection

6:09: How our nervous system plays in

9:28: When you just feel "touched out"

15:33: Physiological response and the need for relaxation

18:20: Transitioning from super-busy mode, to "I want to have sex mode"

22:41: Creating a party your libido wants to come to

23:50: Pre-launch check list

31:46: Nervous sytem reset exercises

35:49: How to know if you're disregulated

39:45: Black belt sext tip!

Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

The holidays are coming up, and this is often a stressful time for a lot of couples.

The stress and busyness can often lead couples to fall into dry spells in their sex life. And Emily and I are not immune to those dry spells either. So whether you're in a dry spell or looking to avoid one, this episode is for you! We're going to cover practical ways to keep your marriage and sex life going strong through all the seasons of life.

Resources:

Intimately Us App

FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less

2025 Couples Retreat

You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com 

Episode highlights:

4:37: Seeing the Patterns in Your Relationship

6:13: Calm the heck down

7:18: Notice emotions and how they present in your body

7:40: The measure of your marriage isn't how you handle yourself when things are going well, but when life is hard

9:00: Separate the act of sex from the meanings attached to it.

11:04: When we look to our spouse, as a reason behind the dry spell, it opens you up to a potential of self-deception

12:25: Routine kills passion

14:34: Need both love and desire

17:37: Offer good sex

19:07: Questions to ask yourself and thoughts to consider

21:55: "But my spouse doesn't want to change"

In this episode, you'll learn how to stimulate the "g-spot" and how to have more fun in your bedroom by learning how to work with this beautiful aspect of female pleasure and orgasm.

Join us as my guest, Tilly Storm, a sex coach for women, teaches about unlocking this new dimension in your marriage. Even if including the g-spot is already something you're doing in your relationship, I promise you'll gain a lot out of this podcast anyway. If you're new to this, well, you've got a whole new dimension in your relationship to uncover and explore together!

And I hope you have a lot of fun exploring it, just like my wife and I have had a lot of fun putting into practice a lot of the things that Tilly teaches in this episode!

Resources:

Sexual Mindfulness Seminar Series with Dr. Chelom Leavitt

Intimately Us App

Get Your Marriage On Program

FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less

2025 Couples Retreat

You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com 

Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

There's definitely a spiritual element to developing an intimate marriage. For example, in order to have really good sex or really deep emotional connection with someone, it requires you to be more honest, true chaste, benevolent, and in short, to do good to your spouse. It requires you to be able to endure all things and to have a lot of hope and do the little things every day, the little micro things that actually matter to build an intimate marriage.

Our episode today is a recording of a conversation I had with my good friend, Rhonda Farr.

If you don't know her, she is a marriage and intimacy coach a lot like myself. And we had a fantastic conversation about how our marriage changes us rather than us trying to change our marriage.

This is really relevant because we're talking about the spiritual work of sexual development; this is the refining process, the part that expands us in our marriages to become the better version of who we are meant to become.

Resources:

Intimately Us App

Sexual Mindfulness Seminar Series with Dr. Chelom Leavitt

FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less

You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com 

Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.