Have you ever noticed that after a slip in recovery, your thoughts immediately jump to "I'm worthless" or "I'm never going to get better"? These aren't just random negative thoughts – they're part of a powerful emotion that might be secretly sabotaging your recovery journey. In this eye-opening episode of The Addicted Mind Plus, hosts Duane and Eric Osterlind dive deep into the crucial difference between guilt and shame in addiction recovery. Through evidence-based research and practical experience, they reveal why many people mistakenly identify their shame as guilt, and how this misunderstanding can keep them trapped in the addiction cycle. The hosts share three powerful, scientifically-backed tools that listeners can start using immediately to build shame resilience and strengthen their recovery journey. Whether you're in recovery yourself or supporting someone who is, this episode offers essential insights into breaking free from the destructive grip of shame while building a healthier relationship with yourself and others.

Download: Shame Sabotaging Your Recovery Worksheet

Click Here to Join the TAM + Community. Get the support you need.

Our Deep Dive is now in the community, where we discuss this episode in depth.

KEY TOPICS

• The critical difference between guilt ("I made a mistake") and shame ("I am a mistake")
• How toxic shame fuels the addiction cycle
• Research findings on shame's direct link to substance use problems
• The importance of shame resilience in recovery
• Three easy tools for breaking the shame spiral
• The role of connection and community in overcoming shame
• Practical language shifts for transforming shame into growth

TIMESTAMPS

[00:01:20] Introduction to shame's impact on recovery

[00:02:31] Research findings on shame vs. guilt in addiction

[00:04:00] How toxic shame creates a negative cycle

[00:08:14] First tool: The Language Shift technique

[00:09:40] Second tool: The Shame Interrupt method

[00:11:00] Third tool: The Connection Practice

[00:13:40] Community resources and next steps

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Supporting Resources:

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On today’s episode, Duane speaks with Dr. Karol Darsa about how to recognize trauma as well as some of the first steps you need to take to deal with trauma. Karol is the author of the book, The Trauma Map: Five Steps to Reconnect With Yourself. She dives deep into how trauma impacts us in our everyday life as well as what we can do to deal with our traumatic histories so we can heal and feel better.

If you have struggled with some trauma in your past, hopefully you will get a lot of insights from this episode as Karol shares her professional wisdom on recovering from trauma. A licensed psychologist for 23 years, Karol found herself repeating certain information over and over again. She realized what was really missing in a lot of people's minds was the understanding of what trauma is and what it does. Maybe they knew what trauma was but didn't understand that it could impact them to the degree that it was impacting them. 

Many people think trauma only applies to people who have been to war or were sexually abused. They don't consider other things to be trauma. However, trauma can also result from smaller incidents when people didn't even realize they felt traumatized. 

Hoping to explain the basics of trauma and how it works, Karol decided to write the book, The Trauma Map: Five Steps to Reconnect With Yourself. Karol also noticed an overarching characteristic of self-blame among her clients who were dealing with trauma. They were quick to judge themselves much more than they should. Therefore, Karol also wrote the book as a great tool for minimizing self-blame.

In this episode, you will hear:

• What trauma is
• What the different types of trauma could look like
• Why the power of positive thinking sometimes backfires for people
• Recognizing relational trauma
• How trauma causes you to disconnect from your body
• Why people find it difficult to face painful situations
• Dismissing your feelings means a lack of self-acceptance
• How to eliminate self-blame

Key Quotes:

[03:49] - “What was really missing in a lot of people's minds is really the understanding of what trauma is, and what it does.”

[04:57] - “The power of the positive thinking, sometimes that actually backfires for a lot of people.”

[05:56] - “Many people think trauma means if you been to war, or maybe if you were sexually abused, but other than that, people don't consider other things as trauma.”

[06:31] - “Trauma is a situation where it's so overwhelming that it makes you feel powerless, basically unable to cope.”

[07:13] - “The most common trauma that people minimize is relational trauma.”

[09:30] - "In the relational traumas, reactions don't function that way. People have to be able to look at their symptoms and recognize it."

[13:50] - "We have a limited capacity to actually face painful situations. As human beings, we all are that way."

[17:17] - "One of the problems of dismissing feelings or putting things away or dismissing our body is that we are ultimately not accepting who we are."

If you really enjoyed this episode, we’ve created a PDF that has all of the key information for you from the episode. Just go to the episode page at www.theaddictedmind.com to download it.

Supporting Resources:

The Trauma Map

Episode Credits

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

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Are you your own worst enemy in recovery? This episode tackles the hidden barrier that keeps many people stuck in addiction - a harsh inner critic. Hosts Duane and Eric Osterlind explore how self-blame can sabotage recovery efforts and share research-backed strategies for developing self-compassion. Drawing from Dr. Kristen Neff's groundbreaking research, they explain why being kind to yourself isn't just "feel-good talk" but a powerful tool for lasting change. The hosts break down practical steps to transform your inner dialogue and explain why self-compassion actually leads to better accountability than harsh self-criticism. Whether you're in recovery or supporting someone who is, this episode offers actionable tools to break free from shame and build lasting resilience.

Download: From Self-Blame to Self-Compassion Recovery Worksheet.

Click Here to Join the TAM + Community. Get the support you need.

Our Deep Dive is now in the community, where we discuss this episode in depth.

Key Topics

• The difference between self-compassion and self-excuse
• Research evidence supporting self-compassion in recovery
• How shame fuels addiction cycles
• Practical steps to develop self-compassion
• The role of community support in building self-compassion
• Connection between self-compassion and accountability
• Tools for identifying and transforming your inner critic

Key Timestamps

[00:01:23] Why we're kinder to others than ourselves

[00:03:35] Understanding the trap of self-blame

[00:05:02] Introduction to Dr. Kristen Neff's research

[00:07:34] Self-compassion vs. making excuses

[00:08:23] Practical steps for developing self-compassion

[00:11:36] The importance of common humanity

[00:14:31] Different timelines for change

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Supporting Resources:

If you live in California and are looking for counseling or therapy please check out Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery Center

NovusMindfulLife.com

We want to hear from you. Leave us a message or ask us a question: https://www.speakpipe.com/addictedmind

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In this episode of The Addicted Mind Podcast, you are invited into the world of Rob Crowl and his mother, Katie Davis, as they delve into their experiences with addiction and recovery. Rob, an educator and writer, discusses his memoir "Please Don't Rescue Me," which chronicles his tumultuous upbringing in a household affected by addiction. Katie, who has celebrated 27 years of sobriety, shares her perspective on the transformative power of love and storytelling in overcoming intergenerational trauma.

Throughout the episode, Rob and Katie candidly explore the complexities of their family dynamics, highlighting the cycles of addiction and recovery that have shaped their lives. They discuss the courage it takes to confront painful truths and the role writing has played in their healing journey. Listeners are given a glimpse into the profound impact of addiction on family relationships, particularly the enduring bond between Katie and her children, which serves as a beacon of resilience and compassion.

In this episode, you will hear:

• Rob Crowl and his mother Katie Davis share their journey through addiction and recovery.
• Discussion of Rob's memoir "Please Don't Rescue Me" and its exploration of family dynamics shaped by addiction.
• The healing power of writing and storytelling in addressing intergenerational trauma.
• Challenges of confronting personal trauma and the transformative role of love and family support.
• Reflections on the cycles of addiction and the struggle for redemption and acceptance.
• Exploration of themes of rescue and the complex desire for both liberation and connection.

Follow and Review:

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Supporting Resources:

NovusMindfulLife.com

Episode Credits

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

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Ever wonder why showing your true self feels so terrifying, yet could be the very key to your healing? In this powerful episode, hosts Duane and Eric Osterlind explore how embracing vulnerability, despite its discomfort, can become your greatest strength in recovery. Drawing from both research and real-world experience, they break down why many of us hide behind masks and how this actually hinders our healing journey.

The hosts share practical strategies for safely opening up to others and building authentic connections, backed by insights from Dr. Brené Brown's groundbreaking research on shame and vulnerability. Whether you're struggling with addiction, trauma, or mental health challenges, this episode offers a roadmap for transforming vulnerability from a perceived weakness into a powerful tool for recovery and personal growth.

Download: Vulnerability Transforms Recovery Worksheet.

Click Here to Join the TAM + Community. Get the support you need.

Our Deep Dive is now in the community, where we discuss this episode in depth.

Key Topics

• The connection between vulnerability and authentic healing
• Why we resist being vulnerable and its impact on recovery
• Research evidence supporting vulnerability in recovery
• The myth of "fixing yourself" before seeking help
• Five practical steps to practice healthy vulnerability
• Finding safe spaces and people for sharing
• Managing intimacy backlash and self-compassion

Timestamps

[00:01:16] Understanding masks and hiding in recovery

[00:03:45] The role of shame in avoiding vulnerability

[00:07:09] Research insights on vulnerability as strength 

[00:11:42] Five practical steps to develop vulnerability

[00:13:43] The importance of self-compassion

[00:15:18] Managing intimacy backlash

[00:16:31] Resources and community support

Follow and Review: We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.

Supporting Resources:

If you live in California and are looking for counseling or therapy please check out Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery Center

NovusMindfulLife.com

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Nicole Doering, once a model with a psychology background, found herself battling alcohol addiction later in life after personal upheavals. Her story begins with a sobering reflection on how unexpected life events, like a family health crisis and divorce, can lead to such challenges. Nicole's candidness about her 17-month sobriety journey is a testament to resilience and underscores the crucial role of evidence-based treatment. Nicole's atheism adds a unique dimension to her recovery approach, steering away from traditional narratives and focusing on the science of the brain.

Navigating addiction requires understanding it as a complex brain disease rather than a simple moral failing. Nicole sheds light on how medical-assisted therapies, like the Vivitrol shot, are underutilized yet vital for treating addiction. This episode breaks down the science behind addiction, explaining how it hijacks the brain's reward pathways, creating chronic dopamine imbalances. We explore how these imbalances affect memory and behavior, leading to persistent attentional biases. By rethinking addiction treatment beyond just willpower, Nicole's insights advocate for a more scientifically grounded understanding of recovery.

In this episode, you will hear:

• Nicole Doering's unconventional recovery journey from alcohol addiction, emphasizing atheism and science-driven approaches.
• Personal challenges, including a family health crisis and divorce, leading to late-onset addiction.
• Importance of evidence-based and medically assisted treatments, such as the Vivitrol shot.
• Understanding addiction as a complex brain disease rather than a moral failing.
• Exploring alternative recovery methods like SMART Recovery for those struggling with traditional approaches.
• The role of brain chemistry and the impact of addiction on memory and behavior.

Follow and Review:

We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.

Supporting Resources:

NovusMindfulLife.com

Episode Credits

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Imagine feeling so alone that you can't even recognize yourself in the mirror. For many battling addiction, this isn't just imagination—it's their daily reality. In this eye-opening episode of The Addicted Mind Plus, hosts Duane and Eric Osterlind dive deep into the powerful connection between shame, isolation, and addiction. They explore how these forces work together to keep people stuck in a cycle of pain and substance abuse.

But there's hope! The hosts reveal that the simple act of connecting with others can be a game-changer in recovery. They discuss how shame, while once useful for keeping early humans in line with their tribes, can become toxic when it fuses with our sense of self. This toxic shame often leads to isolation, which in turn fuels addiction.

Duane and Eric highlight the importance of finding safe, supportive communities where people can experience "corrective experiences." These are moments where individuals can feel shame in a safe environment, allowing them to change their relationship with this powerful emotion over time. The hosts draw parallels to the famous "Rat Park" study, which showed how social connection could significantly reduce substance abuse in rats.

The episode emphasizes that recovery isn't just about staying sober—it's about connection. Duane and Eric stress the need for both compassion and accountability in supportive communities. They also introduce their new Addicted Mind community, inviting listeners to join and be part of building something meaningful.

Whether you're struggling with addiction yourself or supporting someone who is, this episode offers valuable insights into the role of shame and the healing power of community in the recovery process.

Join Our Community!

https://the-addicted-mind-plus.mn.co

Key Topics

• The relationship between shame, isolation, and addiction
• Understanding healthy vs. toxic shame
• The importance of connection in recovery
• Creating safe spaces for "corrective experiences"
• The "Rat Park" study and its implications for human addiction
• Building supportive communities with both compassion and accountability
• Introduction to the Addicted Mind community

Timestamps

0:00 - Introduction and announcement of new community

2:33 - Explaining the connection between shame, isolation, and addiction

7:15 - Discussion of the "Rat Park" study and its relevance to human addiction

10:45 - How to break the chains of isolation and shame

13:40 - The importance of community in healing and recovery

15:47 - Practical skills for dealing with shame

16:53 - Invitation to join the Addicted Mind community

Follow and Review: We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.

Supporting Resources:

If you live in California and are looking for counseling or therapy please check out Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery Center

NovusMindfulLife.com

We want to hear from you. Leave us a message or ask us a question: https://www.speakpipe.com/addictedmind

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Mark Rosman never imagined that his storytelling journey would include a chapter about his family's battle with addiction. Known for directing charming family favorites like "A Cinderella Story" and "Life Size," Mark opens up about the unexpected struggle with his daughter's substance use disorder. This episode offers a heartfelt exploration of the fears and revelations that came with facing addiction head-on. Mark candidly shares the initial denial and the painful yet healing journey through therapeutic schools and rehab facilities, bringing to light the critical and often overlooked role families play in recovery.

Our conversation unravels the profound shift that occurred when the focus broadened beyond just the individual battling addiction. Mark recounts a pivotal moment with a therapist who challenged the entire family to engage in self-reflection and embrace change. This perspective shift was instrumental in their transformation, prompting a journey of self-discovery and boundary-setting that taught them the importance of prioritizing their own emotional health. The narrative underscores the tumultuous yet rewarding path of learning to maintain one's well-being while supporting a loved one through addiction.

Mark's experience doesn't just end with personal growth; it fuels his creative endeavors. He's channeling these experiences into a film project that brings his family's story to the screen, with hopes of illuminating the complexities of addiction and recovery for others. As Mark shares, the film is not just about addiction; it's about resilience, hope, and the power of storytelling to foster understanding and healing. This episode is not just a glimpse into a family's journey through addiction; it's a message of hope and heart, aiming to inspire and support families navigating similar challenges.

In this episode, you will hear:

• The critical role of family involvement in addiction recovery.
• The shift from denial to acceptance and self-discovery within the family.
• The emotional journey of parents through support groups like Al-Anon/
• Mark's film project inspired by his family's experience, focusing on the family's perspective.
• The importance of storytelling in fostering understanding and healing.

Follow and Review:

We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.

Supporting Resources:

NovusMindfulLife.com

keepcomingbackfilm.com

Episode Credits

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ever felt like you're stuck in a never-ending battle with addiction? You're not alone. In this eye-opening episode of Addictive Mind Plus, hosts Duane and Eric Osterlind dive into the game-changing world of mindset shifts in recovery. They reveal that beating addiction isn't just about willpower – it's about rewiring your brain.

The duo kicks things off by exploring why so many of us fall back into old habits, even when we're trying our hardest to change. They argue that the key to lasting recovery lies in how we think about ourselves, our addiction, and our future. It's not just about following rules; it's about embracing a whole new way of seeing the world.

Throughout the episode, Duane and Eric break down five crucial mindset shifts that can transform your recovery journey. They explain how simple changes in thinking can open up a world of possibilities and help you build the skills and support network you need to thrive.

One of the most powerful ideas they discuss is the shift from seeing relapse as a failure to viewing it as a learning opportunity. This change in perspective can help reduce shame and build resilience, making it easier to bounce back and stay on track.

The hosts also dive into the importance of recognizing that recovery is a journey, not a destination. This shift can help listeners stay present and focused on their growth, rather than getting discouraged by setbacks.

By the end of the episode, listeners will have a toolbox of mental strategies to help them navigate the ups and downs of recovery. Whether you're just starting out or have been on this path for a while, this episode offers fresh insights and practical tips to help you rewrite your recovery story.

Download: 5 Crucial Mindset Shifts for Addiction Recovery Worksheet.

Join Our Deep Dive, where we discuss this episode in depth.

Register Here: https://theaddictedmind.com/deepdive

Click Here to Join the TAM + Community Waitlist. Get the support you need.

Key Topics

• The importance of mindset in addiction recovery
• Moving from "I am my addiction" to "I am a person in recovery"
• Viewing recovery as a journey rather than a destination
• Shifting from relying on willpower to building skills and support
• Reframing relapse as a learning opportunity
• Recognizing personal power and choices in recovery
• Practicing self-compassion throughout the recovery process

Timestamp

• [00:01:20] Introduction to the five crucial mindset shifts

• [00:03:00] Discussing the first mindset shift: "I am a person in recovery"

• [00:04:57] Exploring the second shift: "Recovery is a journey"

• [00:07:00] Examining the third shift: "I need skills and support"

• [00:09:52] Delving into the fourth shift: "Relapse is a learning opportunity"

• [00:12:32] Discussing the final shift: "I have choices"

• [00:15:30] Concluding thoughts and advice on implementing mindset shifts

Follow and Review: We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.

Supporting Resources:

If you live in California and are looking for counseling or therapy please check out Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery Center

NovusMindfulLife.com

We want to hear from you. Leave us a message or ask us a question: https://www.speakpipe.com/addictedmind

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Join us as we welcome Chad Caruso, a remarkable skateboarder and YouTuber who not only conquered a Guinness World Record but also turned his life around by skating solo across America to raise addiction awareness. Chad shares his powerful story of overcoming painkiller addiction following a knee injury and the subsequent loss of his skateboarding identity. Learn how he transformed his struggles into strengths, channeling his obsessive tendencies into positive, value-driven pursuits.

In our conversation, Chad opens up about the multiple obstacles he faced, from financial debt to relationship troubles, and how he rebuilt his life through goal-setting and positive change. We discuss the unique challenges of maintaining sobriety in a culture that often glorifies partying, especially during the COVID-19 pandemic. Chad emphasizes the importance of community support and the shift in perception surrounding skateboarding, highlighting its benefits as a healthy and fulfilling activity.

In this episode, you will hear:

• Chad Caruso's journey from painkiller addiction to sobriety.
• Overcoming financial debt and relationship issues through goal-setting.
• Starting a YouTube channel during early sobriety to give back to the skateboarding community.
• The challenges and rewards of skating 3,146 miles across America for addiction awareness.
• The importance of community support and shifting perceptions of skateboarding.
• Finding fulfillment and purpose through pursuing passions and helping others.

Follow and Review:

We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.

Supporting Resources:

NovusMindfulLife.com

Episode Credits

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ever feel like you're caring about all the wrong things? You're not alone. In this eye-opening episode of The Addicted Mind Plus, hosts Duane and Eric Osterlind dive into the art of caring about the right things. They explore how aligning your thoughts, words, and actions can lead to true happiness and fulfillment.

The hosts kick things off with a powerful quote from Mahatma Gandhi about finding harmony in life. They then dive into why so many of us, especially those struggling with addiction or mental health issues, often find ourselves caring about things that don't really matter. 

Duane and Eric offer practical advice on how to identify your core values and use them as a compass for decision-making. They explain how this approach can reduce stress, boost resilience, and help you navigate life's challenges more effectively.

The episode breaks down a five-step process to help listeners start living a more congruent life. These steps include identifying core values, assessing current focus, practicing mindful decision-making, letting go of the uncontrollable, and cultivating self-compassion.

Throughout the discussion, the hosts emphasize that aligning with your true values is an ongoing process that requires patience and self-compassion. They remind listeners that it's not about becoming indifferent, but about being intentional with your care and energy.

This episode, based on positive psychology, is packed with insights and practical tips for anyone looking to live a more authentic and fulfilling life. Whether you're in recovery or simply seeking personal growth, you'll find valuable guidance on how to care about the right things and create harmony in your life.

Download: Caring About The Right Things worksheet.

Join Our Deep Dive, where we discuss this episode in depth.

Register Here: https://theaddictedmind.com/deepdive

Click Here to Join the TAM + Community Waitlist. Get the support you need.

TAM+ Ep 9 Embrace the Now: How Radically Accepting Reality Can Transform Your Life

Key Topics

• Identifying and aligning with core values
• The impact of caring about the wrong things
• Mindful decision-making based on personal values
• Letting go of uncontrollable factors
• Cultivating self-compassion in the process of change
• The link between value alignment and stress reduction
• Practical steps for living a more congruent life

Timestamps

[00:01:18] Introduction to the topic of caring about the right things

[00:02:52] Discussion on finding harmony and happiness

[00:05:30] The power to change and align with true values

[00:07:11] Steps to identify and focus on what truly matters

[00:10:25] Breakdown of the five-step process for living a congruent life

[00:13:44] Importance of letting go of the uncontrollable

[00:15:44] Closing thoughts and worksheet information

Follow and Review: We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.

Supporting Resources:

If you live in California and are looking for counseling or therapy please check out Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery Center

NovusMindfulLife.com

We want to hear from you. Leave us a message or ask us a question: https://www.speakpipe.com/addictedmind

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