Ever felt like feedback in your recovery journey hits you like a punch to the gut? You're not alone. In this eye-opening episode of The Addicted Mind Plus, hosts Duane and Eric Osterlind dive into why criticism can feel so painful during recovery and share game-changing strategies to transform those tough moments into opportunities for growth. Drawing from cutting-edge research in neuroscience and psychology, they explain how our early life experiences shape our sensitivity to criticism and why some people struggle more than others with feedback. But here's the good news: by adopting what scientists call a "growth mindset," you can learn to receive feedback differently and use it to strengthen your recovery journey. The brothers share practical, easy-to-implement strategies that can help you shift from feeling defensive and ashamed to seeing criticism as valuable feedback for your growth. Whether you're in recovery or supporting someone who is, this episode offers essential tools for turning difficult feedback into stepping stones toward lasting change.

Download:  Growth Mindset Worksheet

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Our Deep Dive is now in the community, where we discuss this episode in depth.

KEY TOPICS

• Understanding why criticism hits harder for some people
• The connection between early childhood experiences and sensitivity to criticism
• How the brain's stress response system affects our reaction to feedback
• Dr. Carol Dweck's research on growth mindset
• Three practical strategies for developing a growth mindset
• The role of criticism in sustainable recovery
• Practical tools and worksheets for implementing these strategies

TIMESTAMPS

[00:01:07] Introduction to criticism's impact on recovery

[00:02:45] Understanding sensitivity to criticism through attachment theory

[00:06:00] Introduction to growth mindset concept

[00:08:00] Real-world examples of criticism in recovery

[00:11:11] Three practical strategies for developing growth mindset

[00:13:21] Practicing affirming statements

[00:14:57] Resources and community support information

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Supporting Resources:

If you live in California and are looking for counseling or therapy please check out Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery Center

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In this episode of the Addicted Mind Podcast, listeners are introduced to Arlina Allen, host of the One Day at a Time podcast, who shares her profound journey from addiction to recovery. At a pivotal moment during a Giants game in Oakland, Arlina recognized the unyielding grip of addiction and the cycle of shame it perpetuates. Drawing from her new book, "The 12-Step Guide for Skeptics: Clearing Up Common Misconceptions of a Path to Sobriety," Arlina offers insights into the intricate process of recovery. Through personal anecdotes, she explores the influence of childhood experiences on addictive behaviors and emphasizes the importance of addressing root causes to break free from harmful patterns.

The episode delves into the concept of the cybernetic loop in behavioral psychology, highlighting how negative experiences reinforce damaging beliefs. Arlina's journey is enriched by her exploration of self-discovery and spirituality, offering a refreshing perspective on recovery. 

In this episode, you will hear:

• Arlina Allen's journey from addiction to recovery, highlighting personal experiences and family dynamics.
• Insights from Arlina's book, "The 12-Step Guide for Skeptics," addressing misconceptions about sobriety.
• The role of childhood trauma and family influences in shaping addictive behaviors.
• Exploration of the cybernetic loop in behavioral psychology and its impact on reinforcing negative beliefs.
• Internal Family Systems (IFS) theory and navigating internal resistance in healing.

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Supporting Resources:

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https://www.soberlifeschool.com/

Episode Credits

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

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Ever wonder why two people can experience the exact same event but walk away with completely different emotions? 

In this fascinating episode of The Addicted Mind Podcast Plus, hosts Duane and Eric Osterlind dive into the science of optimism and reveal how our attention shapes our reality. They explain that optimism isn't about ignoring negative experiences or forcing positivity – it's about training our brain to process both positive and negative information in a balanced way. 

Through practical examples and evidence-based strategies, they show listeners how to break free from negative thought spirals and develop genuine optimistic thinking. Whether you're dealing with anxiety, depression, or just want to build more resilience, this episode offers simple yet powerful tools to help you unlock your inner optimist and transform how you experience life's challenges.

Download: Unlocking Your Inner Optimist Worksheet

Click Here to Join the TAM + Community. Get the support you need.

Our Deep Dive is now in the community, where we discuss this episode in depth.

Key Topics

• The difference between toxic positivity and genuine optimism
• How attention bias affects our experience of events
• The science behind optimistic versus pessimistic thinking
• Three evidence-based strategies for developing optimism
• The role of physical movement in changing perspective
• How optimism builds resilience and creativity
• Practical daily exercises for training your brain

Timestamps

[00:01:27] The power of perspective: Same event, different experiences

[00:03:42] The science behind attention and optimism

[00:05:19] Why this isn't toxic positivity

[00:09:30] Introduction to practical strategies

[00:09:54] The two-chair technique explained

[00:11:28] The daily spotlight exercise

[00:13:02] The reframe challenge technique

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Supporting Resources:

If you live in California and are looking for counseling or therapy please check out Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery Center

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Renowned behavioral neuroscientist Judy Grisel joins us for an eye-opening conversation on addiction and recovery. Judy shares her compelling journey from grappling with substance abuse as a young teenager to becoming a leading expert in addiction neuroscience. Her book, "Never Enough: The Neuroscience and Experience of Addiction," seamlessly intertwines her personal experiences with scientific insights, offering a nuanced understanding of how addictive personalities can harbor hidden potential.

We examine the shortcomings of punitive measures in addressing substance abuse, advocating instead for the power of positive incentives in recovery. Through vivid stories, we illustrate how individuals transform their addictive tendencies into remarkable achievements and societal contributions. By focusing on the enrichment that comes with sober living, we emphasize the importance of novelty and excitement as vital components in breaking free from addiction's grip and building meaningful lives.

 In this episode, you will hear:

• Judy Grisel's journey from substance abuse to becoming a renowned neuroscientist.
• Exploration of her book "Never Enough: The Neuroscience and Experience of Addiction."
• The inefficacy of punitive measures and the benefits of positive incentives in recovery.
• The role of adolescent identity development in addiction vulnerability.
• Discussion of gender differences in stress sensitivity and addiction.
• The impact of novelty-seeking and dopamine on addictive behaviors.
• Strategies for building a meaningful life beyond addiction.

Follow and Review:

We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.

Supporting Resources:

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https://www.bucknell.edu/fac-staff/judy-grisel

Episode Credits

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you

Follow and Review: We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.

Supporting Resources:

If you live in California and are looking for counseling or therapy please check out Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery Center

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Have you ever noticed that after a slip in recovery, your thoughts immediately jump to "I'm worthless" or "I'm never going to get better"? These aren't just random negative thoughts – they're part of a powerful emotion that might be secretly sabotaging your recovery journey. In this eye-opening episode of The Addicted Mind Plus, hosts Duane and Eric Osterlind dive deep into the crucial difference between guilt and shame in addiction recovery. Through evidence-based research and practical experience, they reveal why many people mistakenly identify their shame as guilt, and how this misunderstanding can keep them trapped in the addiction cycle. The hosts share three powerful, scientifically-backed tools that listeners can start using immediately to build shame resilience and strengthen their recovery journey. Whether you're in recovery yourself or supporting someone who is, this episode offers essential insights into breaking free from the destructive grip of shame while building a healthier relationship with yourself and others.

Download: Shame Sabotaging Your Recovery Worksheet

Click Here to Join the TAM + Community. Get the support you need.

Our Deep Dive is now in the community, where we discuss this episode in depth.

KEY TOPICS

• The critical difference between guilt ("I made a mistake") and shame ("I am a mistake")
• How toxic shame fuels the addiction cycle
• Research findings on shame's direct link to substance use problems
• The importance of shame resilience in recovery
• Three easy tools for breaking the shame spiral
• The role of connection and community in overcoming shame
• Practical language shifts for transforming shame into growth

TIMESTAMPS

[00:01:20] Introduction to shame's impact on recovery

[00:02:31] Research findings on shame vs. guilt in addiction

[00:04:00] How toxic shame creates a negative cycle

[00:08:14] First tool: The Language Shift technique

[00:09:40] Second tool: The Shame Interrupt method

[00:11:00] Third tool: The Connection Practice

[00:13:40] Community resources and next steps

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Supporting Resources:

If you live in California and are looking for counseling or therapy please check out Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery Center

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On today’s episode, Duane speaks with Dr. Karol Darsa about how to recognize trauma as well as some of the first steps you need to take to deal with trauma. Karol is the author of the book, The Trauma Map: Five Steps to Reconnect With Yourself. She dives deep into how trauma impacts us in our everyday life as well as what we can do to deal with our traumatic histories so we can heal and feel better.

If you have struggled with some trauma in your past, hopefully you will get a lot of insights from this episode as Karol shares her professional wisdom on recovering from trauma. A licensed psychologist for 23 years, Karol found herself repeating certain information over and over again. She realized what was really missing in a lot of people's minds was the understanding of what trauma is and what it does. Maybe they knew what trauma was but didn't understand that it could impact them to the degree that it was impacting them. 

Many people think trauma only applies to people who have been to war or were sexually abused. They don't consider other things to be trauma. However, trauma can also result from smaller incidents when people didn't even realize they felt traumatized. 

Hoping to explain the basics of trauma and how it works, Karol decided to write the book, The Trauma Map: Five Steps to Reconnect With Yourself. Karol also noticed an overarching characteristic of self-blame among her clients who were dealing with trauma. They were quick to judge themselves much more than they should. Therefore, Karol also wrote the book as a great tool for minimizing self-blame.

In this episode, you will hear:

• What trauma is
• What the different types of trauma could look like
• Why the power of positive thinking sometimes backfires for people
• Recognizing relational trauma
• How trauma causes you to disconnect from your body
• Why people find it difficult to face painful situations
• Dismissing your feelings means a lack of self-acceptance
• How to eliminate self-blame

Key Quotes:

[03:49] - “What was really missing in a lot of people's minds is really the understanding of what trauma is, and what it does.”

[04:57] - “The power of the positive thinking, sometimes that actually backfires for a lot of people.”

[05:56] - “Many people think trauma means if you been to war, or maybe if you were sexually abused, but other than that, people don't consider other things as trauma.”

[06:31] - “Trauma is a situation where it's so overwhelming that it makes you feel powerless, basically unable to cope.”

[07:13] - “The most common trauma that people minimize is relational trauma.”

[09:30] - "In the relational traumas, reactions don't function that way. People have to be able to look at their symptoms and recognize it."

[13:50] - "We have a limited capacity to actually face painful situations. As human beings, we all are that way."

[17:17] - "One of the problems of dismissing feelings or putting things away or dismissing our body is that we are ultimately not accepting who we are."

If you really enjoyed this episode, we’ve created a PDF that has all of the key information for you from the episode. Just go to the episode page at www.theaddictedmind.com to download it.

Supporting Resources:

The Trauma Map

Episode Credits

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you your own worst enemy in recovery? This episode tackles the hidden barrier that keeps many people stuck in addiction - a harsh inner critic. Hosts Duane and Eric Osterlind explore how self-blame can sabotage recovery efforts and share research-backed strategies for developing self-compassion. Drawing from Dr. Kristen Neff's groundbreaking research, they explain why being kind to yourself isn't just "feel-good talk" but a powerful tool for lasting change. The hosts break down practical steps to transform your inner dialogue and explain why self-compassion actually leads to better accountability than harsh self-criticism. Whether you're in recovery or supporting someone who is, this episode offers actionable tools to break free from shame and build lasting resilience.

Download: From Self-Blame to Self-Compassion Recovery Worksheet.

Click Here to Join the TAM + Community. Get the support you need.

Our Deep Dive is now in the community, where we discuss this episode in depth.

Key Topics

• The difference between self-compassion and self-excuse
• Research evidence supporting self-compassion in recovery
• How shame fuels addiction cycles
• Practical steps to develop self-compassion
• The role of community support in building self-compassion
• Connection between self-compassion and accountability
• Tools for identifying and transforming your inner critic

Key Timestamps

[00:01:23] Why we're kinder to others than ourselves

[00:03:35] Understanding the trap of self-blame

[00:05:02] Introduction to Dr. Kristen Neff's research

[00:07:34] Self-compassion vs. making excuses

[00:08:23] Practical steps for developing self-compassion

[00:11:36] The importance of common humanity

[00:14:31] Different timelines for change

Follow and Review: We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.

Supporting Resources:

If you live in California and are looking for counseling or therapy please check out Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery Center

NovusMindfulLife.com

We want to hear from you. Leave us a message or ask us a question: https://www.speakpipe.com/addictedmind

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In this episode of The Addicted Mind Podcast, you are invited into the world of Rob Crowl and his mother, Katie Davis, as they delve into their experiences with addiction and recovery. Rob, an educator and writer, discusses his memoir "Please Don't Rescue Me," which chronicles his tumultuous upbringing in a household affected by addiction. Katie, who has celebrated 27 years of sobriety, shares her perspective on the transformative power of love and storytelling in overcoming intergenerational trauma.

Throughout the episode, Rob and Katie candidly explore the complexities of their family dynamics, highlighting the cycles of addiction and recovery that have shaped their lives. They discuss the courage it takes to confront painful truths and the role writing has played in their healing journey. Listeners are given a glimpse into the profound impact of addiction on family relationships, particularly the enduring bond between Katie and her children, which serves as a beacon of resilience and compassion.

In this episode, you will hear:

• Rob Crowl and his mother Katie Davis share their journey through addiction and recovery.
• Discussion of Rob's memoir "Please Don't Rescue Me" and its exploration of family dynamics shaped by addiction.
• The healing power of writing and storytelling in addressing intergenerational trauma.
• Challenges of confronting personal trauma and the transformative role of love and family support.
• Reflections on the cycles of addiction and the struggle for redemption and acceptance.
• Exploration of themes of rescue and the complex desire for both liberation and connection.

Follow and Review:

We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.

Supporting Resources:

NovusMindfulLife.com

Episode Credits

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ever wonder why showing your true self feels so terrifying, yet could be the very key to your healing? In this powerful episode, hosts Duane and Eric Osterlind explore how embracing vulnerability, despite its discomfort, can become your greatest strength in recovery. Drawing from both research and real-world experience, they break down why many of us hide behind masks and how this actually hinders our healing journey.

The hosts share practical strategies for safely opening up to others and building authentic connections, backed by insights from Dr. Brené Brown's groundbreaking research on shame and vulnerability. Whether you're struggling with addiction, trauma, or mental health challenges, this episode offers a roadmap for transforming vulnerability from a perceived weakness into a powerful tool for recovery and personal growth.

Download: Vulnerability Transforms Recovery Worksheet.

Click Here to Join the TAM + Community. Get the support you need.

Our Deep Dive is now in the community, where we discuss this episode in depth.

Key Topics

• The connection between vulnerability and authentic healing
• Why we resist being vulnerable and its impact on recovery
• Research evidence supporting vulnerability in recovery
• The myth of "fixing yourself" before seeking help
• Five practical steps to practice healthy vulnerability
• Finding safe spaces and people for sharing
• Managing intimacy backlash and self-compassion

Timestamps

[00:01:16] Understanding masks and hiding in recovery

[00:03:45] The role of shame in avoiding vulnerability

[00:07:09] Research insights on vulnerability as strength 

[00:11:42] Five practical steps to develop vulnerability

[00:13:43] The importance of self-compassion

[00:15:18] Managing intimacy backlash

[00:16:31] Resources and community support

Follow and Review: We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.

Supporting Resources:

If you live in California and are looking for counseling or therapy please check out Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery Center

NovusMindfulLife.com

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Nicole Doering, once a model with a psychology background, found herself battling alcohol addiction later in life after personal upheavals. Her story begins with a sobering reflection on how unexpected life events, like a family health crisis and divorce, can lead to such challenges. Nicole's candidness about her 17-month sobriety journey is a testament to resilience and underscores the crucial role of evidence-based treatment. Nicole's atheism adds a unique dimension to her recovery approach, steering away from traditional narratives and focusing on the science of the brain.

Navigating addiction requires understanding it as a complex brain disease rather than a simple moral failing. Nicole sheds light on how medical-assisted therapies, like the Vivitrol shot, are underutilized yet vital for treating addiction. This episode breaks down the science behind addiction, explaining how it hijacks the brain's reward pathways, creating chronic dopamine imbalances. We explore how these imbalances affect memory and behavior, leading to persistent attentional biases. By rethinking addiction treatment beyond just willpower, Nicole's insights advocate for a more scientifically grounded understanding of recovery.

In this episode, you will hear:

• Nicole Doering's unconventional recovery journey from alcohol addiction, emphasizing atheism and science-driven approaches.
• Personal challenges, including a family health crisis and divorce, leading to late-onset addiction.
• Importance of evidence-based and medically assisted treatments, such as the Vivitrol shot.
• Understanding addiction as a complex brain disease rather than a moral failing.
• Exploring alternative recovery methods like SMART Recovery for those struggling with traditional approaches.
• The role of brain chemistry and the impact of addiction on memory and behavior.

Follow and Review:

We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.

Supporting Resources:

NovusMindfulLife.com

Episode Credits

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Imagine feeling so alone that you can't even recognize yourself in the mirror. For many battling addiction, this isn't just imagination—it's their daily reality. In this eye-opening episode of The Addicted Mind Plus, hosts Duane and Eric Osterlind dive deep into the powerful connection between shame, isolation, and addiction. They explore how these forces work together to keep people stuck in a cycle of pain and substance abuse.

But there's hope! The hosts reveal that the simple act of connecting with others can be a game-changer in recovery. They discuss how shame, while once useful for keeping early humans in line with their tribes, can become toxic when it fuses with our sense of self. This toxic shame often leads to isolation, which in turn fuels addiction.

Duane and Eric highlight the importance of finding safe, supportive communities where people can experience "corrective experiences." These are moments where individuals can feel shame in a safe environment, allowing them to change their relationship with this powerful emotion over time. The hosts draw parallels to the famous "Rat Park" study, which showed how social connection could significantly reduce substance abuse in rats.

The episode emphasizes that recovery isn't just about staying sober—it's about connection. Duane and Eric stress the need for both compassion and accountability in supportive communities. They also introduce their new Addicted Mind community, inviting listeners to join and be part of building something meaningful.

Whether you're struggling with addiction yourself or supporting someone who is, this episode offers valuable insights into the role of shame and the healing power of community in the recovery process.

Join Our Community!

https://the-addicted-mind-plus.mn.co

Key Topics

• The relationship between shame, isolation, and addiction
• Understanding healthy vs. toxic shame
• The importance of connection in recovery
• Creating safe spaces for "corrective experiences"
• The "Rat Park" study and its implications for human addiction
• Building supportive communities with both compassion and accountability
• Introduction to the Addicted Mind community

Timestamps

0:00 - Introduction and announcement of new community

2:33 - Explaining the connection between shame, isolation, and addiction

7:15 - Discussion of the "Rat Park" study and its relevance to human addiction

10:45 - How to break the chains of isolation and shame

13:40 - The importance of community in healing and recovery

15:47 - Practical skills for dealing with shame

16:53 - Invitation to join the Addicted Mind community

Follow and Review: We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.

Supporting Resources:

If you live in California and are looking for counseling or therapy please check out Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery Center

NovusMindfulLife.com

We want to hear from you. Leave us a message or ask us a question: https://www.speakpipe.com/addictedmind

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