In this episode, I sit down with a former coaching client to unpack the all-too-common experience of losing yourself in a relationship, especially when you have an anxious attachment style.

We talk about what happens when you prioritize your partner over your own needs, slowly sideline your friendships, and stay committed to someone whose words say one thing but whose actions say another. She shares her journey of loving the “nice” avoidant (the kind who isn’t malicious, but deeply unavailable) and the painful uncertainty of realizing that even a kind partner may still be unable to meet your needs.

Together, we explore how every relationship becomes a mirror for what you truly want, especially if you didn’t grow up with healthy role models… and how stepping into secure attachment requires both courage and accountability.

She also shares the tools that helped her rebuild her confidence, navigate singlehood with empowerment, and finally create a relationship with herself that feels trusting, grounded, and whole.

Learn about 1:1 Attachment Coaching with Jessica here.

Secure attachment isn’t something you’re born with, it’s something you can learn. Today, we’re walking through six habits that define secure individuals and how you can begin embodying them, no matter your starting point. If you’re craving healthier love, deeper self-trust, and emotional stability, this episode is your roadmap.

Get 75% off the My Secure Self E-Course here. (Offer ends 11/30)

Learn about 1:1 Attachment Coaching with Jessica here.

In this episode, I’m taking you behind the scenes of one of the biggest transitions of my life — moving to Hawaii — and sharing what it looked like to navigate that leap with an anxious heart. From breakup recovery, loneliness, rebuilding faith, and learning to trust myself again… to taking bold steps that my past insecure self never would’ve believed she could do.

If you’re going through a transition, feeling fear around change, or struggling to access your Secure Self when life shifts beneath you, this episode is for you.

Book a free Clarity Call HERE and learn about Attachment Coaching with Jessica.

Abandonment isn’t always about someone leaving. Sometimes, it’s about being unseen, unheard, or emotionally dismissed by the people closest to us. In this episode, I explore what emotional abandonment looks like, how it shapes our attachment style, and what we can do to begin healing from it.

If you’re ready to break free from patterns of abandonment and feel secure within yourself and your relationships, you can learn about 1-1 Attachment Coaching with me here.

In this heartfelt episode, I sit down with Gretchen Costanzo, a certified integrative attachment coach and creator of the Living Connected Method, to talk about what it means to create a secure relationship with God — and how transformational that can be for your healing and relationships. We explore how God can become your steady rock, the connection between faith and secure attachment, and what it looks like to date from a place of spiritual security and emotional grounding.

Whether you’re rebuilding your faith or curious about how your relationship with God shapes your attachment patterns, this conversation will meet you right where you are.

Contact Gretchen:

https://attachment.coach/

[email protected]

Attachment Coaching with Jessica:

Book a free clarity call here

@thejessicadasilva

Not all anxious attachers look the same. In this episode, I explore the Passive Anxious Attacher, who protects against loss by shrinking back, and the Rigid Anxious Attacher, who holds on tightly to feel secure. You’ll learn how to tell the difference, why both stem from the same fear of abandonment, and how to begin moving toward secure connection.

💛 Learn more about my Attachment Coaching Services or book a free Clarity Call through the link here.

Not all avoidants look the same. In this episode, I break down the two common ways avoidant attachment shows up in relationships: the Passive Avoidant, who protects themselves by shrinking back, and the Rigid Avoidant, who protects themselves through control and high standards. You’ll learn how to spot the difference, why it matters, and how each can begin moving toward more secure and fulfilling relationships.

Learn about Attachment Coaching with Jessica here.

Instagram: @thejessicadasilva

Client Stories

In this episode of Let’s Talk Attachments, we dive into what compatibility in relationships really means—and why it matters so much more than chemistry alone. I’ll break down how to recognize true alignment in core values, lifestyle choices, emotional needs, and long-term goals, and share practical ways anxious, avoidant, fearful-avoidant, and secure attachers can assess compatibility in their dating lives. Whether you’ve been swept up by sparks before or want to avoid repeating old patterns, this episode will help you slow down, see clearly, and choose relationships that actually support the love and life you want to build.

*Learn about Attachment Coaching with Jessica here.

Diving deep too quickly in dating can feel exciting, but it often creates premature emotional bonds that blur your judgment of compatibility. In this episode, I explore why anxious and fearful avoidant attachers are especially prone to oversharing, rushing intimacy, and confusing emotional closeness with true alignment. You’ll learn practical ways to pace yourself—so you can stay authentic while also assessing compatibility with clarity and balance.

*Learn about 1:1 Attachment Coaching with Jessica here.

In this episode, I open up about how I subconsciously molded myself to attract avoidant partners and how that pattern was rooted in my earliest experiences of love. I share how I learned to appear “cool,” independent, and unattached in order to feel wanted, and why that left me feeling disconnected and unfulfilled in relationships.

If you’ve ever found yourself downplaying your needs, pretending to be more “chill” than you are, or attracting people who can’t meet your emotional depth, this episode will help you reflect on those hidden patterns. My hope is that it gives you insight into your own subconscious motivations, clarity about how you’ve been showing up in love, and encouragement to realign with your authentic, secure self.

* Learn about 1:1 Attachment Coaching with Jessica here.

Why is it that ambitious, successful women can thrive in their careers but feel lost in love?
In this episode, Attachment Therapist and Coach Carly Ann joins me to explore the emotional disconnect that many high-achieving women experience in relationships.

We dive into:

• How codependency is hardwired into our understanding of love

• The difference between caring for a partner vs. trying to fix or save them

• Why the skills that make you successful at work can backfire in romance

• How scarcity thinking keeps you stuck in unsatisfying dynamics

• Shifting from anxiety to emotional responsibility in relationships

• Understanding overreactions, jealousy, and shame through the lens of attachment science

If you’ve ever wondered why you feel powerful in every area except your love life, this conversation is for you.