Life Insights From Wise Men
"Historically speaking, when we heard criticism, it was from a potential enemy, so it was biologically natural to get up our defenses.That was really functional for survival. It's just dysfunctional for love”.- Dr. Warren Farrell
Today on Men, This Way:
Takeaways from this episode:
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In this episode I explore the themes of manhood and the significance of rites of passage in a man's life. I reflect on my personal experiences and my own lack of intentional initiation into manhood, which continues to haunt many men today. I dive into the importance of having wise elders to guide men through their journeys and the impact of not having these figures in our lives.
ELEVATE 2025: https://bryanreeves.com/elevate
Takeaways
Chapters
00:00 The Journey of Manhood and Initiation
20:07 The Importance of Rites of Passage
26:01 Seeking Support and Guidance in Manhood
"Many of us spin our wheels, blame others because we can't find our way out. But the work-this soul work-is about digging deep, finding that genius within." - Michael Mead
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“The mother wound is wanting to be saved by someone, some thing, some process outside yourself, and it's not going to happen.” - John Lee
Today on Men, This Way:
Takeaways from this episode:
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This show is produced by Synchro Social
"I'm not against pornography; however, if you're using it to distract yourself or to numb the pain you're experiencing, it might be serving as an escape from having tough conversations" .- Bryan Reeves
Today on Men, This Way:
Take Aways:
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This show is produced by Synchro Social
"They have to organize. if we're organized where the kids come first, well, the couple is dead, long live the kids, they go away and bye. Because we lost that loving feeling, we never nurtured it. We weren't important enough to maintain." - Dr. Stan Tatkin
Today on Men, This Way:
00:00 Introduction
01:48 PACT Method and Psychobiological Approach
02:22 Personal Reflections on Dr. Tatkin's Work
04:40 Setting Up the Discussion on Relationships
05:09 Defining Secure Functioning Relationships
05:44 Importance of Teamwork in Relationships
06:43 Challenges in Relationships and Power Dynamics
09:35 Explanation of Attachment Styles: Anchors, Waves, Islands
10:07 The Impact of Childhood on Relationship Dynamics
11:55 Clinging and Distancing in Relationships
13:16 Insights into Attachment from Studies
13:30 Personal Narratives and Their Impact on Perception
14:32 Neglect and Its Subtle Impact
15:32 Resentment from Childhood Expectations
16:04 The Metaphor of "The Bite that Fits the Wound"
17:04 The Role of Anger in Insecure Attachments
18:20 Strategies for Secure Functioning
19:20 Adapting to Partner's Needs and Insecurities
20:11 Understanding Attachment and Its Effects on Relationships
22:38 Responsibility in Relationship Dynamics
23:31 Importance of Understanding Danger and Care in Relationships
26:14 The Importance of Shared Vision in Maintaining Relationships
27:21 Designing Relationships Intentionally
28:21 Prioritizing Relationships Over Other Aspects of Life
31:04 Teamwork and Interdependency in Relationships
31:56 Role of Partners in Regulating Each Other's Nervous Systems
34:21 The Practical Application of Co-regulation Techniques
38:28 The Unreliability of Narratives in Understanding Relationships
40:05 The Flaws of Memory and Perception in Communication
41:03 The Challenge of Modeling Successful Relationships
43:02 Strategies for Better Relationship Dynamics
44:12 The Need for Intentionality in Relationships
46:05 The Impact of Stress on Relationship Dynamics
49:05 The Necessity of Protective Measures in Relationships
50:09 The Importance of Commitment and Intention in Relationships
52:22 The Timeframe for Developing Strong Relationship Skills
54:17 The Role of Purpose and Principle in Relationship Longevity
55:06 Establishing and Adhering to Relationship Principles
56:07 Vision and Future Planning in Relationships
57:19 Deciding When to Persist or Let Go in Relationships
59:21 The Social Contracts That Define Personal Relationships
61:02 The Mutual Benefits of a Committed Relationship
64:07 The Hopeful Aspect of Engaging in Relationship Work
66:30 Dr. Tatkin's New Publications and Future Projects
67:44 Closing Thoughts and Reflections on Relationship Dynamics
Takeaways from this episode:
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This show is produced by Synchro Social
"I constantly remind parents to ask their children how they feel and to always respond with 'thank you for sharing.' This simple practice can transform relationships.” -Brooke Weinstein
Today on Men, This Way:
02:02 Welcome & Introduction.
02:32 Acknowledging Past Discussions.
03:08 Expertise in Sensory and Emotional Regulation.
03:28 The Importance of Parental Emotional Regulation.
03:40Understanding Co-Regulation.
05:38 Influence of Parental Behavior on Children.
07:50 Addressing Challenges of Premature Birth.
10:17 Developmental Stages and Parenting Approaches.
18:16 Discussing Boundaries in Parenting.
19:28 Early Childhood Development and Setting Boundaries.
27:48 Challenges with Social Transitions and Sensory Overload.
31:35 Transition to Adolescence.
38:25 Medication and Support for Sensory Issues.
42:35 Adolescent Social Interactions and Emotional Regulation.
47:30 Preparing for the Social World in Adolescence.
53:50 Supporting Adolescents Through Challenges.
56:19 Addressing Anxiety and Depression in Young Adults.
Takeaways from this episode:
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This show is produced by Synchro Social
I’ve got a profound episode for you today. My guest is Bill Plotkin, one of the most genius and inspired visionaries of our time that you’ve likely never heard of.
He’s the author of a few books that have rocked my world, most notably, Nature and The Human Soul.
When I first read Nature and The Human Soul some years ago, I felt like I’d discovered a sacred tablet with the codes to living every stage of life well.
Through his work spanning 5 decades as a depth psychologist, wilderness guide, and founder of western Colorado’s Animas Valley Institute, Bill has led thousands of women and men through nature-based initiatory rites-of-passage, and from his work he HAS brought back a vigorously detailed map of the stages of human development, from birth to death, including the specific tasks that are required for someone to complete if they are to psychologically progress from one developmental stage to the next, like from late adolescence to early adulthood. Building on Carl Jung’s work, and the work of countless other brilliant hearts and minds spanning a myriad of human cultures, when I read Bill’s work, I understand more clearly the adventure of my life, the story arcs that have played out, the excruciating bottoms I’ve hit at critical and pivotal moments of my life, and what the real tasks of the different stages of life are that, if I don’t accomplish those tasks, then I don’t truly grow or evolve, even though my body may age.
A major theme he explores in his work, which we talk about in this episode, is the overwhelming lack of true adults in the modern world, and the state of humanity as being currently made up largely of people stuck in adolescent ways of thinking, being, and doing.
We also talk about a critical phase of the life journey, The Journey of Soul Initiation, an experience undertaken between adolescence and adulthood, and a prerequisite for any human to step into true adulthood, and sadly a journey our culture does not support, and in fact actively discourages.
Soooo much to explore here. Bill is one of my beloved elders and teachers, I encourage you to listen to this entire episode, get Bill’s books. If you have or want kids, Bill’s work can help you understand what your own children need to experience at different stages of development, if they are to become truly healthy adults.
So let’s get going. I start off our conversation with a personal story of something that happened to me after I got out of the military, and we take off from there into a profound conversation, which is still but a short stroll on the tippy top of the massive iceberg that is his life’s work.
Near the end, before he gives us insight into how you can move further in the direction of your own journey of soul initiation, I ask Bill whether he has hope for humanity, given culture’s resistance to creating mature adults. His answer will surprise you, maybe frighten you. He does have hope, but not in the way you might think.
So, definitely stay tuned all the way through to the end of this episode of Men, This Way …
"We're hardwired not just for survival but for connection. We need different types of bonds, like intimate ones with partners. Many of us struggle because we didn’t experience enough secure attachment as children." - Owen Marcus
Today on Men, This Way:
00:00 Welcome & Introduction
01:07 Background and Everyman
02:20 Early Challenges with Dyslexia and Asperger's
03:25 Realizations and Growth
04:23 Motivation to Start Men's Work
05:00 The Importance of Feeling in Relationships
08:33 Introducing Somatics and Co-regulation
11:12 Discussing Safety and Vulnerability
13:16 Creating Safe Spaces in Men's Groups
14:11 Deepening Connections Through Vulnerability
16:17 The Rock Formula: Relax, Open, Connect
18:35 The Impact of Constant Stress on Relationships and Health
22:48 Proactive Approaches to Men's Mental Health
25:44 The Process of Embracing Change and New Practices
28:47 The Role of Community and Connection in Men's Work
33:15 Finding and Creating Men's Groups
37:22 Challenges of Emotional Expression in High-Stakes Professions
40:17 Somatic Practices and Mindfulness
43:14 Patterns in Men's Emotional Growth and Resistance
47:13 The Importance of Language in Expressing Emotions
50:23 Current Personal Challenges and Insights
52:54 The Future of Men's Work and Community Growth
55:49 Advice for Women Supporting Men's Emotional Growth
59:24 Closing Thoughts and Appreciation
Connect with Bryan & Tait:
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This show is produced by Synchro Social
I’m talking today with my dear friend, intimacy coach and expert, and just all around lovely human being, Allana Pratt. We’re talking about Presence … whatever does that mean!
So many of us men may get that feedback from an intimate partner … “I just don’t feel your presence” …or “I don’t feel connected to you.” Or … “It’s like you’re not really here.” … and we have no idea what they’re talking about because ... "I’m right here!!!!"
So, I invited Alanna on to explore presence … from a woman’s perspective.
Allana's new online course for singles, “Becoming The One” in which she helps show you how to stop looking for the one and learn instead how to BECOME the one; BECOME the love you are looking for.
👉 Becoming The One Intro Course https://allanapratt.com/becomeintro
Use discount code: BRYAN to get it FREE (100% discount)
Allana drops all kinds of wisdom nuggets and insights in this episode so … Take a deep breath, and dive into presence with us, in this episode of Men, This Way …
Alright …
Let’s dive ...
“I didn't believe my stories or experiences had value, so I lacked confidence. But being in this group, getting feedback, and realizing that what I share brings value, joy, and insight has filled me with confidence.
- Jeff Wright -Elevate 2024 Member.
"My confidence comes from knowing I have a trustable brotherhood to rely on, something I never had before."
- Scott Silvi - Elevate 2024 Member.
“You can bring anything—your suffering, questions, or sadness—and you'll get caring feedback without anyone trying to fix you.”
- Jamie Bruffey - Elevate 2024 Member.
Today on Men, This Way:
[00:00] Welcome & Introduction
[03:00] The Weight Men Carry
[04:42] The Turning Point
[05:27] Meet the Guests
[07:09] The Burden of Carrying It Well
[09:51] Crushing Loneliness
[12:22] Lonely Success
[13:49] Confessions of Shame
[16:27] The Power of Men's Work
[21:02] Vulnerability as Strength
[30:22] Masks of Masculinity
[33:25] Fatherhood Reimagined
[38:59] Trusting Men Again
[39:33] Transformation in Relationships
[41:09] The Importance of Trustable Elders
[53:11] From Lone Wolf to Brotherhood
[49:05] Final Reflections
[1:10:33] Join Elevate 2025
Join Elevate: https://bryanreeves.com/elevate
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This show is produced by Synchro Social
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