It has taken over 22 years for Adam and Danielle to be able to have a conversation about the topic of finance without it ending in a fit of rage, resentment, and frustration. For the first time, they can each admit to their mistakes, and the ways they individually and cohesively have contributed to the mistakes they've made, and their negligence concerning preparing for the future. Yes, this is definitely a testament to the progress they've made and the incredible work they've done, but it doesn't change the fact that they'll be feeling the impacts of their poor decisions for years to come. This is a topic that is so seldom discussed by couples in a way that's so public and especially, so honest, that they weren't sure if they should edit some of it out. However, they decided not to touch it. Hopefully, their vulnerability will inspire other couples to have similar conversations, and even learn from Adam and Danielle's mistakes. More specifically, some of the issues they discuss surrounding money and finances in this episode are:

• How differently they grew up regarding money and spending.
• How being a stay-at-home-mom impacted Danielle's ideas about financial decision making within their family.
• The frustration of being the person in charge of buying the daily necessities for the household vs. the frustrations of being the one in charge of paying the bigger bills.
• How "keeping up with the joneses" has impacted them, especially regarding raising kids.
• How honest should we be with our kids about our financial situation?
• What has caused this shift in Danielle's mentality concerning budgeting, and being an active participant in solving their financial issues?
• How our past experiences, as well as expectations about spending/money affects our overall mindset about what we need/want/deserve regardless of whether or not we can afford it.

Stay tuned for part two of this topic, in which we delve even further into these issues and so much more!

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Want to have this type of dynamic, gentle, honest conversation with you partner? Purchase the Date Night Questions print version, and use code "MNMPODCAST" for 20% off plus free shipping. Or, download it immediately with the ebook version, and use code "RECONNECT" for 15% off.

Trying to incorporate more gratitude, equity, and understanding into your relationship, use the framework that got Adam and Danielle to the place they are now as a couple, by purchasing the Small Change, Big Impact Challenge, and use code "SCBI15" for 15% off!

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Is there a such thing as too many discussions about the mental load? Until it stops being one of the most complicated issues in relationships, the answer is definitely no. Danielle and Adam were so happy that Zach joined them for a conversation about all the different facets and nuances about the mental load which are rarely discussed. In fact, for a couple that has spoken more about this topic than most partners, they each learned a lot of new, insightful information. Plus, they discuss how far they've come since their devastating fight from one year ago, that almost caused Danielle to leave. Plus, with the upcoming holidays, the three of them tackle the different ways that time of year can make the division of mental and emotional labor even more complicated. This is another one of those episodes that you'll definitely want to share with your partner and ask them to listen. There is a lot of great info in this discussion.

Follow Zach on instagram, and check out his awesome coaching and facilitator services on his website.

Be sure to sign up for the Marriage and Martinis Holiday Challenge, if you often feel like the sole magic maker during the holiday season, leaving you exhausted and overwhelmed. Purchase the regular version for the downloads only, or join us for the 30-day interactive version starting October 27th. THIS WEEK ONLY: 20% off both versions of the holiday challenge. Discount applied at checkout.

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Danielle is officially in full-perimenopause mode. But even she doesn't know what that really means! For the first time ever, she and Adam sit down to discuss the basics of perimenopause and what it truly means to be in this stage of life. What does the term even mean? How long does it last? What are the symptoms? WHY TF DON'T WE KNOW MORE?! Danielle and Adam discuss all the things they don't understand and the stuff they want to understand more. This is an episode that every couple should listen to, and DEFINITELY every woman.

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Their wedding day is not really something about which Adam and Danielle talk very much. In fact, they don't even have a picture from their wedding day anywhere in their house. During this really in depth discussion, the two of them talk about everything from how Danielle rushed Adam into getting engaged, why getting married so young presented some problems for them, how discrepancies about how money should be spent led to contention, and why they actually wouldn't go back and change a thing. Plus, they share a lot of information from their listeners and community, and go into detail about what they will tell their own kids about weddings and marriage. Whether you're single, engaged, married, or divorced, this is an episode you will not want to miss.

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Until recently, the have been very few platforms available for women to share stories about their pregnancy, birth, and postpartum experiences. But amazing resources like The Birth Hour podcast are helping to change all of that. With more than 900 episodes, this podcast (named one of Time Magazine's 50 best podcasts), Bryn has offered hundreds of women a safe space to share their birthing stories, whether they were "regular," complicated, or "unconventional." This podcast opens up so many experiences surrounding pregnancy about which we're never introduced or educated, that is has literally saved lives. In this episode, Danielle has the honor of sitting down with Bryn to discuss everything from, why women are so judgmental of one another for making decisions that differ from their own, what do we need to each remember about birthing plans, and the reality surrounding unexpected occurrences and how they impact plans and hopes. Plus, Bryn talks about some of the most memorable and impactful stories she's heard over the years. Plus, what has Bryn learned from almost one thousand birth stories that she wants all of us to know, as well? Unfortunately, it's impossible to have every woman hear an episode, but Danielle truly hopes that each woman who listens will send this to someone else who might need to hear it. If you are unpacking your own birth experience(s), are hoping to one day give birth or know someone else close to you who is, or are just curious about all the different options, choices, and paths women take when having a child, you'll absolutely want to listen to this episode.

Follow Bryn on instagram at https://www.instagram.com/thebirthhour/. Check out the website at https://thebirthhour.com/, where you can access resources to help prepare for an upcoming birth. And, check out The Birth Hour podcast to hear Danielle's birthing story this week.

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In this fun, lighthearted episode, Adam and Danielle face off in a test of elementary school knowledge. Answering questions in vocabulary, grammar, math, science, history, and geography, each wants to see how much they've retained in the 35 years since they went through the fifth grade. Who winds up the winner? Are they able to fill in a map of the 50 United States? Of Europe? Of Canada? What do they not remember being taught? What do they each wish they'd be taught but haven't? Listen to the episode for some good laughs and to test your own knowledge and find out if YOU'RE smarter than a fifth grader.

Want to get our FREE version of the Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader? Sign up for emails and have it sent directly to your inbox later this week!

Want another Date Night activity that's fun and an incredible way to reconnect? Purchase The Date Night Questions and use code "RECONNECT" for 15% off the book and ebook versions.

Did you enjoy this episode and/or other Marriage and Martinis episodes? Don't forget to follow and subscribe, and it would mean so much if you would take a moment to rate and review.

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This episode is not AT ALL what Adam and Danielle had planned. But that's actually a good thing, because it winds up being one that's pretty impactful. After dropping Mia off at her second year of college, they reflect on her acknowledgement that after years of wanting to be a teacher, so has been brave enough to admit that maybe it isn't actually the path she wishes to pursue. As nervous as she was to admit this, Adam and Danielle are trying to convince her that sometimes life takes twists and turns, because we haven't been given the proper space to truly know what it is we want THE REST OF OUR LIVES to be like. At 40 years old, Adam and Danielle finally pursued a journey that felt more authentic to them, but both wish they had been given more options earlier in life. This leads them to discuss what is lacking along the way so that each of us can more openly and honestly decide the future that's "right" for us. What could schools and communities do to better open doors that otherwise young adults might not even know are there to open in the first place? How do we allow our youth to explore options without spending a fortune or giving them false hope? How much time is the right amount to try something before saying, "this isn't for me," and pivot in another, safer direction? For anyone who has had a child voice that they no longer have the same goals, despite the money, time, and effort spent on that dream, this episode is will offer the room needed to reflect on this redirection. For anyone who feels they were misguided, or rushed into a career or lifestyle, this episode is for you, too. We've all had moments where we wonder, "whose dream is this, anyway?" Let's figure out what to do with those REAL reflections.

Want to make room in your household for these conversations? Check out our Back To School toolkit, ("BTS15" for 15% off) meant to prompt conversations, and inspire a household vibe that feels safe enough to say the things that matter.

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The number one most requested guest listeners always ask to return is none other than Adam and Danielle's oldest daughter, Mia. After years of struggling to understand more about her identity and find a place for herself, Mia has learned that navigating life as a neurodivergent human is a multi-layered, complex journey filled with redirection and deep reflection. Mia openly reveals how life has changed since getting diagnosed with Autism and ADHD four years ago, and the ways she's learned to live in a way that balances her unique, individual needs with the social and academic requirements of college life. Mia walks us through her experience changing high schools, graduating, and her transition to living away from her parents. How has she managed to stay on top of her schoolwork while also having to figure out how to make new friends and keep on top of everyday routines that are more complicated for her than for most 18 year olds? What tips and strategies does she have that others can benefit from knowing about and incorporating into their daily life as a newly independent "adult?" Also, how has this whole experience changed the way Danielle and Adam parent, and how they view "success?" What do they wish they had known sooner and done differently? What concerns did they have, and how did they stay afloat when it seemed like maybe the hopes and goals they had for Mia wouldn't come to fruition? What do they want other parents to know about communicating with their kids about their needs and concerns? How have they managed the stress of having a struggling kid away and, at times, uncertain about what would come next? This is a must listen for all parents, and offers so many amazing insights and nuggets of invaluable information for any caretaker who is navigating life with a kid who doesn't always check all the proverbial boxes and fit neatly into the world, which is undoubtedly designed for neurotypical humans.

Check out our incredible Back To School Toolkit. This is your go-to “positive vibes” solution for a smoother, optimistic, and more supportive school year for everyone in your household.

Use code "BTS15" for 15% off.

If you loved this episode, you'll also love the Pivot episodes from August, 2022, when Adam and Danielle were going through their most difficult summer of parenting.

Check out our Back to School essentials, *Mia Silverstein approved.

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And check out our products, and our new Back to School Preparation Toolkit for parents (available this week) and other bestselling, wildly-popular resources for couples and parents.

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"RECONNECT" for 15% off our record-breaking Date Night Questions e-book and book.

If you loved this episode, or any other Marriage and Martinis episode, please take a moment to rate and review on Apple and/or Spotify. It really means the world to us.

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What if you could sit down with your partner and ask them the questions you've ACTUALLY been wanting to ask? The ones that you aren't sure you want to know the answers to, or wish you had a truth serum to ensure they were being completely honest? That's exactly what Danielle and Adam do in this episode, and it definitely gets a tad intense at times. Danielle questions Adam about his complete lack of regard concerning certain aspects of his mental health, and why it worries her so much. Adam asks Danielle a questions that seems almost too complicated to answer in just a few sentences, and catches her off guard with an interesting type of "lightening round." Listen to find out what other questions cause some discomfort and make each of them do some serious reflecting.

BRAND NEW: Check out the brand new, 2.0 version of the Marriage and Martinis' Small Change, Big Impact Challenge. What would you have your partner take off your plate for thirty days? What would they have you take off of theirs? The Small Change, Big Impact Challenge tackles issues with the Mental load while gently guiding couples through a fun, unique, insightful experience quite like they've never done before. What might your relationship be like in thirty days? Use code "VIPCHALLENGE" for 20% off - our biggest discount, intended for listeners of the podcast!

Want to answer the same questions Adam and Danielle have asked one another throughout their most popular, impactful episodes? Grab our wildly popular Date Night Questions book or ebook. Use code "MNMPODCAST" for 20%!

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When Danielle discovered Dr. Kat, she knew she needed to have her on to ask her about so many recent revelations she’s had about her personal experience with perinatal OCD, birth trauma, and postpartum depression. As Danielle learns more and unpacks an experience she had almost 20 years ago, she can’t help but wish she could go back and tell her younger self so many things. She can’t, but she can ask the questions for the women who may encounter (or have encountered) similar issues during their pregnancies. This conversation is one that should be listened to be everyone, regardless of gender, marital and parenting status, and whether or not people personally deal with issues with perinatal Mental Health….it absolutely should be on EVERYONE’S radar. Danielle and Dr Kat discuss:

⁃What exactly does the term “perinatal mental health” encompass?

⁃Are there regulations in place to ensure that OBGYNs are educated on modern discourse concerning PMH?

⁃What are Dr Kat’s thoughts about waiting three months to tell people you’re pregnant?

⁃What necessary questions would she tell every couple (or single human looking to get pregnant) to ask prospective OBGYN’s before choosing a physician?

⁃What might be some prior warning signs that someone might encounter issues with perinatal mental health?

⁃What exactly is a “birth trauma,” and how does a woman know whether or not she went through one?

⁃What does Dr. Kat want every person to know about perinatal mental health and how you can help someone who might be experiencing it in some way? 

Make sure you follow Dr. Kat on IG at @momandmind and listen to her podcast Mom and Mind wherever you get podcasts.

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