What happens when the usual parenting advice feels zero-percent applicable to our own situation? The first step is to let go of any "second arrow" self-blame that that is the case. The second step is to chart our own paths.

Amy and Margaret discuss:

• What types of kids may not benefit from the one-size-fits-all parenting advice
• Why the concept of default parenting advice is harmful
• Why kids "irritating behaviors" are signs that they are growing and learning appropriately

Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:

• Sarah Lyons for Western NY Family Magazine: "One Size Doesn't Fit All"
• Our episode "When Your Kid Doesn't Fit the Mold"
• Jeanie Lerche Davis for WebMD: 10 Commandments of Good Parenting
• Dana Bosu: How to Cope When Your Child is Different
• Andrew Solomon: Far From the Tree
• Ross Greene: The Explosive Child
• Rita Eichenstein: Not What I Expected
• Deborah Reber: Differently Wired

Sign up for What Fresh Hell Plus on Supporting Cast to get all episodes ad-free, plus monthly bonus episodes. Supporting Cast works right where you already listen!

Go to whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm to subscribe in two taps for just $4.99 a month, or $39.99 a year.

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson.

mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, parental stress, kids stress, decluttering, meal prepping, time management,

We’re rerunning some of our favorite holiday episodes to keep you company while you do all the things this season. Listen to all of our holiday episodes in this Spotify playlist.

Experts say happiness is often purer in the anticipation of an event. The reality can be a little more messy. And at no time of year is that sentiment more true than during the holiday season.

We asked our listeners to tell us their holiday worsts, and in this episode we discuss them all, plus a few of our own. Hams glazed with norovirus! Toddlers sleeping in airports! And of course, everyone's favorite Yuletide treat: The Vomiting Christmas Baby!

And yet those are the holidays we remember best. Which makes it (almost) all worth it.

Think your holiday season has been a little crazy? Hold our eggnog.

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

Future Fans: helping little kids become BIG fans - https://www.futurefans.com

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson.

Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Santa, Elf on the Shelf, gift exchange, holiday, holiday shopping, holiday gifts, mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, toddler,

Are teenagers destined to be bored by high school, or are we missing an important piece of the puzzle? Jenny Anderson and Rebecca Winthrop, authors of THE DISENGAGED TEEN, explain what's behind the teen disengagement crisis and how parents can act.

Jenny Anderson is an award-winning journalist, author, and speaker with more than 25 years of experience. Rebecca Winthrop is the director of the Center for Universal Education at Brookings and an adjunct professor at Georgetown University.

Jenny, Rebecca, and Margaret discuss:

• The four different modes of learning that teens tend to engage in
• What academic disengagement in a teen really signals about them
• How parents can help their kids get more excited about learning

Here's where you can find Jenny and Rebecca:

• www.jennywestanderson.org
• www.rebeccawinthrop.com
• www.thedisengagedteen.com
• @jennyandersonwrites and @drrebeccawinthrop on IG
• #DisengagedTeen #LearnBetterLiveBetter
• Buy THE DISENGAGED TEEN: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593727072

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

Future Fans: helping little kids become BIG fans: https://www.futurefans.com/

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson.

mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, parental stress, kids stress, decluttering, meal prepping, time management,

SHOULD we yell at our kids? No. Do we? Yes. Some of us perhaps a little too often. Kids are hardwired to push our buttons to get attention, and none of us are saints.But while verbal abuse is definitely horrible, hollering “you are about to miss the bus again” is perhaps a little more forgivable—and fixable, as it turns out. And it is definitely better to yell less, not just because you’ll have a more peaceful home, but because the more yelling your household has in it, the more it is likely to have.In this episode Amy and Margaret discuss:

• Why yelling at your kids might not be as universally toxic as some headlines have claimed
• Why yelling is, in the end, ineffective
• Why finding workarounds for the sources of tension might be a more effective path to change than berating yourself for (once again) having raised your voice

Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:

• Our Fresh Take with Carla Naumburg
• Our Fresh Take with Emily Edlynn
• Lisa Belkin for NYT: Can Yelling at Your Kids Be Good?
• Sue Shellenbarger for WSJ: Talking to Your Kids After You Yell
• Ming-Te Wang and Sarah Kenny in the Journal of the Society for Research in Child Development: Longitudinal Links Between Fathers’ and Mothers’ Harsh Verbal Discipline and Adolescents’ Conduct Problems and Depressive Symptoms
• Dr. Emily Edlynn for Psychology Today: The Truth About Parents Who Yell at Kids
• Stephen Marche for NYT: Why You Should Stop Yelling at Your Kids

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

Future Fans: helping little kids become BIG fans - https://www.futurefans.com

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson.

mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, parental stress, kids stress, decluttering, meal prepping, time management,

We’re rerunning some of our favorite holiday episodes to keep you company while you do all the things this season. Listen to all of our holiday episodes in this Spotify playlist.

Are you juggling “dress as your favorite reindeer” day at preschool with frantic texts from your sister-in-law asking what your spouse wants for Christmas? Are you feeling like hiding under the covers instead of hitting the office holiday party? 

It’s the most everything time of the year, and women report the holidays as being far more stressful than men do. 

In this episode we discuss how to manage the holiday stress, how to accept the non-cozy feelings that may arise, and why it’s okay to dial back if you’re really not feeling the holiday spirit. 

Here are links to some of the writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: 

• Pooja Lakshmin on Instagram @womensmentalhealthdoc
• Greenberg Quinlan Rosner Research: Holiday Stress
• Harvard Medical School: A holiday advisory for your emotions
• Cedars-Sinai Hospital: Depression and Anxiety Around the Holidays

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

Future Fans: helping little kids become BIG fans - https://www.futurefans.com

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson.

Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Santa, Elf on the Shelf, gift exchange, holiday, holiday shopping, holiday gifts, mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, toddler,

Does being a crunchy mom mean milling your own flour and sending your kids to school barefoot? Emily and Jason Morrow, creators of Really Very Crunchy, discuss what inspired them to both embrace and riff on the crunchy lifestyle.

Emily Morrow is a stay-at-home mom who created the social media channel "Really Very Crunchy" with her husband Jason in 2022.

Emily, Jason, and Margaret discuss:

• What the crunchy lifestyle entails and why it's a spectrum
• How Emily and Jason got the inspiration to start Really Very Crunchy
• How to balance your own crunchiness with the lifestyles of your friends and family

Here's where you can find Emily and Jason:

• www.reallyverycrunchy.com
• @reallyverycrunchy on IG, FB, YouTube, and TikTok 
• Listen to the Really Very Crunchy Podcast
• Buy Emily's book REALLY VERY CRUNCHY: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780310367529

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

Future Fans: helping little kids become BIG fans - https://www.futurefans.com

What Fresh Hell is hosted by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson.

mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, emotional labor, crunchy lifestyle, organic lifestyle, crunchy mom, crunchy life, really very crunchy podcast

Engaging in regular household chores is a great way for kids to develop important life skills. But how can we take the time to teach kids how to do these chores while not making laundry day any more hectic than it already is?

Amy and Margaret discuss:

• How regular chores help kids develop important skills
• Why "noticing" what needs to be done is just as important as actually doing it
• How to pick your battles when it comes to involving little kids in chores

Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:

• Our Fresh Take with Emily Rubin Persons
• Our Fresh Take with Michaeleen Doucleff
• Life Kit: Raising Kids Who Help with Chores, with Michaeleen Doucleff
• Morgan Music for Scary Mommy: This Mom Is Teaching Her Kids About Invisible Labor Early — Here’s How
• American Association of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry: Chores and Children

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

Future Fans: helping little kids become BIG fans: https://www.futurefans.com/

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson.

mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, chores, kids and chores, teen chores, household labor,

This month's Deep Dive series is all about family dynamics. Listen to the whole playlist on Spotify.

Are you the “bad parent” in your home? The enforcer of bedtimes, the keeper of deadlines, the stern shusher in the church pew? Or are you the “good parent,” the authority figure more likely to agree that time is a construct and that ice cream not only can, but should, be what’s for dinner?

This week we’re breaking down 

• how this dynamic plays out in each of our homes
• whether the primary caregiver has to always be stuck with the Killer of Joy role
• how this can play out when parents are divorced
• how drill sergeants can ease up on the oversight
• how the “good time Charlies” can become more aware 

As in most things, change is possible when we watch our stories. These aren’t roles that have to harden in amber and then never change. The Carrier of the Diaper Bag and The Worrier of All Potential Outcomes deserves to kick back once in a while too. 

Here are links to some of resources we discuss in the episode: 

• Isaac Watts’ poem “Love Between Brothers and Sisters”
• Julia Austin for Madame Noire: How The Good Cop/Bad Cop Parenting Dynamic Ruins Marriages
• James Lehman for Empowering Parents: Good Cop/Bad Cop Parenting
• This clip from the movie The Great Santini
• Our episode Parenting as a Team

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

Future Fans: helping little kids become BIG fans - https://www.futurefans.com

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson.

mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, preferred parent

What happens when mothers engage in the radical act of putting themselves first? Vanessa Cornell is the founder of NUSHU, a women’s community grounded in wellness and empowerment. In this interview she explains the importance of self-care for mothers, overcoming mom guilt, and nurturing children's independence.

Vanessa and Amy discuss:

• The burnout that led Vanessa to found NUSHU
• Rejecting the "shoulds" as mothers (and women) and how to stay true to your authentic self
• How you can foster independence in your kids

Here's where you can find Vanessa:

• www.vanessacornell.com
• @VanessaCornell on IG
• @NUSHU on IG

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

Future Fans: helping little kids become BIG fans - https://www.futurefans.com

What Fresh Hell is hosted by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson.

mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, emotional labor, self-care

Today Parents is tackling this same topic this week—and our listeners' advice is quoted! Moms are challenging the idea that they are the sole keepers of holiday ‘magic’

It's hard not to feel like we've got to be doing ALL the things at the holidays, especially when social media tells us we should be. Here are some tips for taking perspective at the holidays and operating in "high magic, low effort" mode.

Co-hosts Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables discuss:

• pre-gaming with your (older) kids about the preferred responses to less-preferred gifts
• starting with what family members really do love most about the holidays (their answers will surprise you)
• why you don't have to go the Nutcracker, or lights at the zoo, or Aunt Martha's house, this year, let alone every year

SNL's "Christmas Morning" sketch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOVCtUdaMCU

Read all of our listeners' great advice on the original Facebook thread... and here, as promised, is Amy's recipe for the Italian pepper cookies that seem to be unique to northeast Pennsylvania...

Italian Pepper Cookies (makes about 72 cookies, more if they’re small)

• 1/2 cup Crisco 
• 2 cups of milk or water (or more if needed) If dough is really sticky you can add a little bit more of milk
• 1/2 lb. raisins 
• 1 cup cocoa
• 2 1/2 cups sugar
• 4 tbsp. baking powder
• 7 cups of flour (add more if needed)
• 1 1/2 tsps. cinnamon
• 1 1/2 tsps. cloves (not whole)
• 1 1/2 tsp. vanilla
• 1 1/2 tsps. black pepper (if you don't want them too spicy, you can cut back on the pepper, I never do though)
• Optional, you can add nuts or I've seen people add chocolate chips too. We aren't big nut eaters, so I've never made them with nuts.

• Preheat oven to 375
• Cream sugar and Crisco together in a bowl 
• In a different bowl, sift together all the dry ingredients. Add sifted dry ingredients to creamed sugar and Crisco alternately with milk.
• Mix well. It will be very sticky, it's easier to work with your hands. I usually coat my hands with some Pam to be able to work the dough. Add your raisins and mix it up more. 
• Using your hands, take enough dough to roll a small ball (my mom likes them big, I like them smaller) Place cookie balls on your cookie trays (I usually fit around 16 on a tray, all depends on the size of your cookie balls) 
• Bake in oven for 8-10 minutes.

Icing:

• 2 cups confectioner's sugar
• 1 to 2 tablespoons milk
• 1/2 teaspoon butter
• splash vanilla

For icing: Mix together all ingredients, adding milk until achieving creamy consistency, not stiff.

When cookies are slightly cooled, top with icing.

Sign up for the What Fresh Hell newsletter! Once a month you’ll get our favorite recent episodes, plus links to other things to read and watch and listen to, and upcoming special events: http://eepurl.com/h8ze3z

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson.

Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Santa, Elf on the Shelf, gift exchange, holiday, holiday shopping, holiday gifts, mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, toddler, holiday recipes

This month's Deep Dive series is all about family dynamics. Listen to the whole playlist on Spotify.

What are the consistent and ongoing family debates in your household? Our Facebook group came through with their most heated family debate topics, and this week we give the ultimate answer for questions like:

• Should dishes be rinsed clean before they go in the dishwasher?
• Is it acceptable to call someone after 8 pm?
• Is a garage for storing stuff, or for storing cars?
• When you're making a bed, which side is up for the flat sheet?
• What is the correct pronunciation of "Reese's Pieces"?

Here are links to two things we discuss in this episode:

Reese's Pieces ad, 1984 (note the repeated and correct pronunciation)

"Doorbell" by Sebastian Maniscalco

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson.

mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, family, family dynamics, family debate