I see you. Way more than you know.    You have done so much to try and create this baby.    You are so determined, so passionate and so brilliant. You deserve to be celebrated on this day (if not MORE) than a mother with 3 kids.    In my eyes, Mother’s day is for YOU!   To make you feel special and seen, I recorded a special podcast with one of my favorite people in the world… my mama! Tracy Lucas ❤️    She held such beautiful space for me on my fertility journey, so I thought — Why not share her with you? Why would I keep her all to myself? Why not spread the love and wisdom?    Please listen to this today. It’ll warm your heart. Make you feel so special for exactly who you are.   We laughed. We cried. Please enjoy this heart-opening conversation on this vulnerable day.    Listen now!

Boy oh boy does it sound fancy AF to say this but…

 

I decided to hire a publicist to get the word out about my book, Fertile Ground, that’ll be released in a week! A WEEK! 

 

She’s worked with Vogue, Serena Willliams and Ralph Lauren. She’s a feminist. And gorgeous. I love her. 

 

Her name is Liz Dennery and she asked if she could interview me on the Fertile Ground podcast. 

 

I said duh, of course. 

 

She asked me some really cool questions like:

 

• How did you strike a balance between actively pursuing conception and maintaining a sense of normalcy and fulfillment in other aspects of life?

• Many people facing fertility challenges often feel isolated or misunderstood. How does your book aim to provide support and community for individuals going through similar experiences?

• Beyond helping individuals conceive, how do you envision your book impacting readers' lives in broader ways, beyond their fertility journeys?

Our chat is refreshingly fun girl talk, but we cut straight through the bull shit and into how to actually heal, feel whole and be happy now. All of this, of course, leads to increased fertility. 

 

Listen now!

 

I got a little (a lot) spicy in this weeks podcast

I’m unleashing a lot of pent up emotions I have about the fertility industry

This week's podcast is called: 3 things that drive me crazy about the fertility industry. 

If you don’t yet know this already — with the exception of a handful of fertility experts — I loathe 90% of fertility advice out there.

It DID NOT work for me. In fact, it made me feel farther away from the goal and it made me feel like I couldn’t trust myself. 

I don’t think most of the “tips and tricks” work for women who are: 

1. Naturally more anxious. 

2. Have perfectionist tendencies.

In fact, I think the fertility journey tends to EXPAND on these characteristics and make it feel worse. 

It’s a bit of tough love for you this week, as I offer blunt but very effective guidance, if you REALLY want to change this narrative from: 

Someone suffering and struggling to conceive.

to

Someone who is thriving and open to conceiving their baby.

There’s a huge difference mama bear. 

LISTEN NOW!

After you listen, I wanna open up the conversation about it. Tell me how it landed. I’m SO CURIOUS to learn what emotions it evokes within you. 

I love you (with big sister tough love)

xo Spenser

It might be hard for you to believe this right now… but ➡️there will be a day when your fertility journey will be over ⬅️   One day in the future, this chapter of your life will be completed 📕 All your current questions will have answers ✅ You will know HOW you finally got pregnant. Hallelujah! 🙏🏽

 

You’ll know what astrological sign your baby is. Your pregnancy will have lined up with some celebrity's pregnancy. You’ll know what this infamous tiny human looks like. It will all make sense! 

 

My question for you RIGHT NOW on this journey, is the same question Elizabeth Gilbert (author of Eat, Pray, Love) asked me when I asked if she had any advice for someone about to write a book:

 

(If you don’t already know, my new book - Fertile Ground - comes out May 8th!🎉And I had the chance to see Liz Gilbert live and ask her a question.)

 

She said, “Aren’t you curious to know who you’ll become in the process of writing this book?” 

 

She didn’t ask if I was curious to see how the book turned out. Or how it will change the world.

 

She invited me to become more interested in how it will change ME for the better. 

 

So I’ll ask you right now mama bear, “Aren’t you curious to know who you’ll become in the process of your fertility journey?” 

 

When you’re rocking your baby to sleep at night… aren’t you curious to see who you will become?

 

The immense value of your fertility journey isn’t just in the outcome.

 

It’s in the value of YOU in this lifetime.

 

Your life goes on beyond this journey. And who you decide to become right now — on the journey to your baby — matters tremendously. 

 

For example, do you decide to lean into this journey of self-discovery, or shy away and focus on the physical? Do you learn how to offer yourself empathy and compassion in times of difficulty, or is shame your driving force? Do you want to do less and with more presence, or is perfectionisms impossible rules still driving? 

 

Speaking for myself, I don’t think I would have ever decided to write a book, if I hadn’t learned everything I did on the fertility journey. I’m feeling so many correlations in the journey to create my book baby and the journey to create my human baby. The feelings are very familiar.

 

The only reason I felt equipped to handle writing a book is because of my fertility journey. Not just because TTC is the complete concept of the book LOL. But because I learned that I can do hard, scary, big things. I learned that I have a lot to offer the world. I learned I’m worthy of creating what I want. 

 

This week’s podcast — The fertility journey is not just about “fertility” — encourages you to lean into the VALUE inside this conception journey you’re on.

 

You’ll learn: 

• The 8 correlations between writing a book and TTC. Meaning: you can copy and paste everything you learn from your fertility journey into every other category of your life. It’s gonna benefit you forever and ever and ever ❤️

• Why this journey is shaping you into the most bad-ass, high worth version of yourself.

• That you have way more to be proud of, then you give yourself credit for. It’s about time you give yourself the props, compassion and love that you deserve… (Your nervous system will thank you for it!)

Listen now!

We all want to love ourselves. But have we ever thought to ask WHY?   The truth is that “self-love” isn’t just about you being a good girl who should be nice to herself.   There’s waaaayyyyyy more of an exciting benefit to self-love than that — which is why I recorded this weeks podcast on this particular topic that you’re NOT going to want to miss.    It’s important for you to know the fertility-enhancing benefits of self-love so that you can feel encouraged and motivated to make the relationship you have with yourself, the most important one.    There are many health and happiness benefits to shifting your blame and shame for feelings of self-love, particularly in the subject of self-compassion.   Compassion comes up a lot on the fertility journey, because compassion is often high-lighted as a response we have to ourselves in times of challenge and difficulty.    It’s sad to admit, but we are a culture who normally kicks ourselves when we’re down. We don’t feel self-compassion to be productive. But again, it extends beyond the benefit of it being just a feel-good concept.    The latest research on the connection between shame and inflammation/auto-immunity challenges:    Auto-immunity refers to a condition where the body's immune system mistakenly targets and attacks its own tissues. Autoimmunity often involves inflammation because the immune system's attacks trigger inflammation in the affected tissues.    Health experts are noticing a correlation between shame and inflammation within the body.    Auto-immunity is when the body attacks itself.  Shame is when the human psyche attacks itself.    ❤️Self-compassion offers the mind AND the body relief from this mistaken attack ❤️   You DO NOT WANT TO MISS this weeks podcast: Can self-compassion heal inflammation in the body? (Hint: The answer is YES! 😆) You’ll learn more about the exciting benefits of self-compassion and exactly how to begin your journey towards it, to enhance your health, happiness and fertility. LISTEN NOW! 

Chances are, there’s a totally untrue hierarchy between you and your baby that’s swirling around in your head.  

 

Here’s how the ego’s playing this mental story out: Your baby is HIGH up on the pedestal. Maybe even wearing a crown with jewels sipping on the most delicious nectar of milk. And you’re at the bottom, exhausted, trying to claw your way up with all the energy you have. You’re looking up hoping you can earn your worth to them by doing all the things (and doing them with precise perfection) to prove how bad you want it. 

 

And this my love… is totally unnecessary. 

 

Why? Because you are already insanely loved by the spirit of your baby.

 

They ALREADY chose you – out of 4 billion other women in the world. They want the authentic version of you to be their mother… not the perfect one. And… they want you to see this for yourself.

 

Listen to this weeks podcast to explore this topic further: The spirit of your baby chooses YOU. It will paint the picture of what’s REALLY happening behind the scenes, so you can let go of earning something you already fucking have.

I used to think my shame was a reaaaallllly good protector of judgment. I used to think, “If I just listened to the orders of my shame – stayed small, pretended everything was fine, kept it all inside – then I wouldn’t have to face judgment.”

Meaning, if I silenced my true thoughts and feelings, then no one would know how broken I am. 

 

But I was never broken, despite shame making me feel that way. And I never felt more loved then when I let go of my shame, opened my heart and let my authentic feelings be seen and heard. There is nothing more healing than this to the mind and body liberated from the chains of shame.

 

It helps to see how this plays out IRL, so I’m sharing an interview with 2 of my former Fertility Mind-Body Mastery members Marcie and Emily. I interviewed them in a retreat last year on how they shed their shame – and the outer results that came from the inner transformation. It’s kinda mind-blowing what happened!

 

On this weeks podcast: How real life women TTC let go of their built up fertility shame -- you’ll learn: 

• Why shedding your shame creates a deeper connection in your marriage.
• How it can inspire life-changing change, like a career switch to your dream job.
• How Fertility Mind-Body Mastery makes it easier for you to safely let go of your shame and feel worthy of exactly who you are, in all of your imperfections…
• Why human support is needed for our survival.
• What it’s like to be inside of my program Fertility Mind-Body Mastery. What happens? How does it feel? What’s it like to be in a group container like this? How much time do you get to be coached?

All these answers are inside the podcast. Listen now!

Today’s new Fertile Ground podcast is a free gift for you! 

A free meditation: How to cultivate a feeling of enoughness. 

 

Listen if you want to feel enough and worthy of your baby, now. No more proving. Let’s embed this truth into all the cells of your body. You can listen to it here.

 

I wanna ask a favor of you…

 

If you appreciate the Fertile Ground podcast and how it’s helped you, it would be so helpful for you to leave a quick review on iTunes. 

 

The fertility industry is loud with noise on all the things you need to do to change, fix, and perfect yourself. This space - The Fertile Ground Podcast - is the relief all women TTC need. Your review will help it to get seen. 

 

You can leave a brief review here   Tips for an effortless review: Don’t overthink it. Speak from your heart. Keep it simple. 

 

Prompts: 

 

What do you want other women TTC to know about what the journey can feel like?

 

How does the podcast make YOU feel?

 

What does it bring to the TTC journey that’s missing? 

 

So grateful to you. Enjoy the meditation!

Vulnerability share: I had a really hard few days last week. For the first time in what felt like forever, I had a lot bubble up inside of my body. At first, I resisted. I pouted. I complained. (Like any other human does at the feeling of deep feels.) But then… eventually…  I surrendered.

It got me thinking…

 

My God… us human beings have this massive capability of feeling emotions inside of our bodies. To help guide us and process our life experiences. To literally help us become healthier. Admittedly, it’s very hard to feel it. It’s uncomfortable to be present with your sadness, your grief, your anger. It takes self-worth to create enough space in your life, to process, cry and witness what wants to come up. 

 

On top of this really hard part of being a human, we are taught to believe that these aspects of ourselves are wrong. Bad. Maybe we even believe they rise up because we aren’t “good enough” at managing things. And it’s so not true. 

 

I realized in my experience that pain is so healthy. Pain is so natural. Pain is healing in motion. It helped me to discover so much about myself, about my life, about what my body needed, about what I can change for the better. Although it did not feel like it at the time, it was a total gift from God.

 

We all feel these intense emotions. They are nothing to be ashamed of. It’s the price of being a human being. 

 

So why not just feel them? 

 

I released a new podcast today: Your pain wants to heal you. Here’s how to let it.

 

It’s to show you how to create enough safety within your mind and body to say yes, the next time your body is ready to feel the more difficult emotions.  

 

You’re not alone in having them. There’s nothing wrong with you for having them. You are safe to feel them. Listen now.

Time is at the core of so much suffering when you’re TTC. So it only makes sense for me to devote an entire free podcast to it, to alleviate the panic it’s causing you. My view point:    I’m probably the world’s most impatient person. When I want something, I want it now. I’m even annoyed at it needing to take a whole damn day for Amazon to send me my shit!    But… I’ve learned to both accept and shift this aspect of myself. My fertility journey taught me exactly how to develop a new relationship with time.    Questions for ya:    What if time wasn’t the royal pain the ass you think it is?   What if time wanted to offer you more than a baby? (Would you say yes?)   What if the setbacks and the change of plans are because the Universe is orchestrating every-fucking-perfect-detail behind the scenes, to give you 1. What you want, but also 2. An even better life than you had planned?   Time isn’t against you. Time will, however, feel like and become what you perceive it as.    Your relationship with time is not set in stone. Time is not a fixed, set, hard aspect of reality. It’s 100% malleable.    Time expands and is incredibly generous, when you expand your perception of it.   You have a healthy sense of control on how you respond to the unfolding nature of time. Particularly, on your fertility journey.    And I’m going to offer you a new relationship with time in this weeks brand new Fertile Ground Podcast: How to handle setbacks and frustrations around time while TTC.   Stop suffering from the illusion of time that culture has wrongly placed on us.     Be open to what time is here – right now – to offer you inside of this podcast.   Listen now!

I watched the Super Bowl with my family a couple weekends ago and I noticed that the members of my family that were cheering for San Francisco (Not Taylor Swift’s BF’s team) had to go on and on about how much air time Taylor got and how she was annoyingly interacting with her friends. (HOW DARE SHE?!)

Me, my mom and my husband were cheering for Kansas City. So we were loving watching her celebrate and enjoy herself. She was acting like a completely normal human being watching someone they love play an important football game. 

What the members of my family have is called a: Confirmation Bias. 

Which means, human brains actively search for evidence to validate their current beliefs.

IE, “I want Kansas City to lose = Taylor Swift is annoying.” Even if she’s really not. But our brains and our ego’s would rather be right, than see the truth.

A confirmation bias plays out often in the fertility journey and can be a very sneaky, subconscious way to resist the change that brings us closer to our babies. 

FOR EXAMPLE:

Let’s say you have the super common perfectionist belief that: “I’m not doing enough to get pregnant.” 

Despite this belief, you start making small changes in your life to improve your mental and physical health. You’re more present, you have more energy, you’re more connected with your partner, and you’ve even started going on daily walks. You feel sooo good and at peace. But then…  you get your period. Even though you have evidence in your mind and body that you’ve never felt better and you’re making so much progress, your locked in confirmation bias of “I’m not doing enough.” kicks into full gear. And you fall back to square 1. 

The confirmation bias belief is what actually runs the show. Because it will always look for evidence to be RIGHT, instead of letting go of the ego, and entering into the uncertain territory of pregnancy.

This is SO IMPORTANT to become aware of, so I recorded a podcast on it: Confirmation bias and how it affects fertility. 

And I even share ways to change this, in simple, powerful steps. Listen now!