As you spend time within your team and organization ideating, creating, and growing, are you conscientiously co-creating a place where each person can participate fully with their best gifts? Is there enough safety and trust for people to take creative risks and ask seemingly silly questions? Have you created a culture where people feel safe to make mistakes?

An excerpt from an exhibition on place at the National Museum of African American History and Culture, Washington DC defines “place” as… “about geography - but also about memory and imagination. People make places even as places change people. Places are secured by individual and collective struggle and spirit. Place is where culture is made, where traditions and histories are kept and lost, where identities are created, tested, and reshaped over time.”

When we think about the places you co-create with those you lead, how are you creating a place with intentionality and sensitivity to the impact that place will have on all those who inhabit it? People make up a place and each person’s unique gifts, talents, and struggles make that place entirely unique. For a place to be secure enough to build culture and traditions, there must be a foundation where the basic needs of security and safety are met. People must have enough trust in this place and the people who inhabit it that they can show up without fear of judgment, criticism, or harm. From there, the people can co-create a place where members can connect with others over shared values, common goals, and a similar sense of meaning and purpose.

In this episode, we talk about the importance of place, the steps to take to establish place, and how to overlap and collaborate with other people in other places in mutually beneficial and ethical ways. 

Links and Resources Mentioned:

• Shameless Leadership Episode 906: The Myth of “Safe Spaces”
• National Museum of African American History and Culture 
• Gonzaga University Center for Community Engagement

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Shame can be a pervasive and isolating experience, but by examining your relationship with shame more closely, you can gain the tools to understand better and transform it. When you’re experiencing shame, it’s important to ask yourself a series of thoughtful questions designed to break down shame’s hold over you. These questions begin by addressing the specifics of a situation, identifying your feelings about the situation, and acknowledging the story you’re telling yourself about the situation. Recognizing the stories that fuel your shame can be the first powerful step toward reframing them in a way that aligns with your true values and goals.                      

When you challenge shame with curiosity, asking yourself, “What else is true in this situation?”, “What is mine to own here?”, and “What is not mine to own here?”, you can more accurately assess how you want to untangle your shame in order to move forward from it with valuable lessons learned. By considering both responsibility and release, you can find a path to emotional clarity and identify whether apologies or reconciliations might be necessary steps for growth. 

If you are carrying shame, it’s important to understand how it is holding you back and acknowledge how releasing it will free you. In this episode, you will learn how to rewrite your stories and reframe your narratives around shame in order to move forward with a more compassionate, supportive, and productive inner dialogue. Ultimately, reframing your shame and releasing its stronghold on you will allow you to be a more resourceful and resilient leader. 

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When I facilitate conversations about inclusion and allyship with groups of women, someone inevitably says, “Men need to hear this too!” When I lead mixed-gender rooms of people through similar conversations, I am consistently heartened by how open to listening, learning, and practicing the men in the room are. In my experience, many male leaders want to be better allies, advocates, and accomplices. So, today I’m excited to talk about exactly how to make that happen!

In this episode, I unpack the concept of allyship and how male allies can support women through active, meaningful engagement. I introduce a spectrum of allyship, from Allies who support but may not yet take significant action, to Accomplices who leverage their privilege to challenge oppressive systems, often at personal risk. Further along, Advocates bring visibility to issues, promoting gender equity by calling attention to injustices. And, Activists, the most visible allies, directly address social and political issues, often leading change movements to deconstruct systems of oppression. By understanding where they fall on this spectrum, men can find ways to support women in ways that go beyond token support.

Allyship becomes actionable when male allies engage deeply with feedback, prioritize active listening, and amplify women’s voices in their networks. True allyship requires men to listen to women’s experiences and thoughtfully respond to their input, creating spaces where feedback is valued and action is taken. Allies can further their impact by recognizing their own privilege, acknowledging how it affects their perspectives, and then using it to support and advance women’s visibility and credibility. When men publicly support women’s ideas and contributions, they can combat the common invisibility barriers women face in leadership and contribute to a more inclusive culture.

Creating inclusive environments requires men to go beyond merely designating “safe spaces.” Instead, they can work to establish trust, connection, and belonging in spaces that prioritize diverse perspectives. Furthermore, by promoting women’s career advancement through mentorship and sponsorship, allies actively work against the systemic limitations placed on women’s growth. Male allies who mentor women provide critical access to skills, knowledge, and networks, helping to bridge the gap to leadership positions.

Ultimately, allyship is a continuous journey of learning and growth. There is no final destination. True allies engage in ongoing education around gender diversity, emotional intelligence, and inclusivity. This commitment to lifelong learning is key for allies who aim to dismantle systems that only provide advantages to select people and desire to create lasting change in their communities and organizations as part of their leadership legacy. 

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I have had the opportunity to be in the room with some incredible groups of women leaders recently. One of the conversations that has come over and over again is mentorship and modeling. A question I’ve been inviting women leaders to play with is, “What kinds of values do you want to be modeling to other women leaders? Are there any values that you tend to abandon (likely unconsciously) in your leadership that you would like to do a better job of honoring?” A few things commonly come up as women dig into this question:

1. Boundaries
2. Delegation
3. Rest

Because women have been conditioned to constantly over-give, overdo, and over-prove ourselves, it’s quite common for us to struggle to:

• Set boundaries
• Say “No” 
• Delegate tasks 
• Give ourselves the appropriate downtime to rest and recover on a regular basis  

We are socialized to constantly self-abandon and self-sacrifice in our roles as employees, leaders, caregivers, wives, neighbors, and community members. What messages are we modeling to other women when we don’t set boundaries, trust others enough to ask them for support and give ourselves permission to rest? And, when we self-abandon in front of other women, how are we undermining women in leadership everywhere? 

These are tough questions that take a decent amount of self-reflection and critical thinking. This episode is an invitation to start thinking about these questions in a new way that will not only position you to be a better leader but also to take better care of yourself. In this episode, we dig into four ways to improve your leadership by doing less and four small steps you can take to start today.

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In anticipation of basketball tryouts today, my 12-year-old went to the park to get in some practice with friends last night. When he got home, he proudly shared that an older kid at the park complimented “hoops”. On the way to school this morning, he told me that he’s feeling really nervous about tryouts. It’s the first year the kids will be divided into varsity and junior varsity teams. This is big time! As we were walking, I talked to him about the close, often overlapping relationship between nervousness and excitement.  

“Mom, I know. You already told me being nervous and being excited are the same thing.”  

That’s not exactly what I had previously told him…. They are not the same. But if you understand how they are the same and how they are different, you can often use your nervousness to strategically channel excitement.  

In this episode, I’ll tell you what I told my 12-year-old on the walk to school. Additionally, we’ll dive into the fascinating relationship between nervousness and excitement and how women leaders can leverage one over the other for powerful results. Both emotions share similar physiological responses—like increased heart rate, sweaty palms, and heightened awareness—because they are both driven by adrenaline. The key difference lies in how we interpret the situation: nervousness tends to arise when we see a challenge as a threat, while excitement comes when we view the same situation as an opportunity. Understanding this can be the first step in transforming fear into anticipation, empowering women to thrive under pressure.

Listen in to hear me share actionable strategies that women leaders can use to shift their mindset and embrace excitement in high-stakes situations. From reframing nervousness as excitement, to focusing on purpose and meaning, to coaching yourself with evidence-based positive self-talk, these techniques are designed to help women leaders feel strong and grounded when stepping into something new, big, or perhaps scary. By connecting to your “why” and viewing leadership moments through a lens of possibility rather than fear, you can approach stressful situations with confidence. This allows you to shift your focus from potential risks to potential rewards creating the excitement needed to succeed.

Whether you're preparing for a big presentation, leading a high-profile meeting, or stepping into a new leadership role, this episode will give you practical tips on how to harness excitement, reduce nervousness, and leverage your full potential as a leader.

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Ahhh, the elusive chase of work-life balance - increasingly referred to as life-work integration. Almost every time I am interviewed I am asked how women leaders can attain a better balance between their personal and professional lives. The struggle to achieve life-work integration impacts most women in leadership. Today, I’m going to invite you to forget about striving for the perfect balance. It’s time to rethink how you can blend your personal and professional life in a way that feels fulfilling, manageable, and aligned with your values. 

I’m going to share with you three mindset shifts that will help you see life-work integration through a bit of a different lens. Many of the women I coach tell me, “I’m completely failing when it comes to work-life balance”. What if the reason so many of us feel this way is because we have been socialized to be self-sacrificial at almost every turn to prioritize other people’s happiness and comfort over our own; we have to out-hustle our male counterparts to get half as far as them; and many of us have to work full-time hours (or more) while also being full-time caregivers.  

By the time we get done over-producing, over-giving, and over-proving ourselves each day, we have given the best parts of ourselves to everyone else and all we have left for ourselves is what feels like moldy leftovers. When we take a critical look at why women leaders feel so “out of balance” when it comes to our personal and professional lives, we can see how a shift in perspective can also lead to a shift in behaviors.  

In this episode, I offer actionable tips around calendar management, saying, “No”, modeling boundaries, and establishing personal accountability to help you practice reclaiming your time and energy while creating healthier personal and professional boundaries. Your leadership doesn’t have to be self-sacrificial at every turn. In fact, you will be a better leader if you learn to navigate life-work integration in a way that consistently acknowledges and prioritizes your needs and wants. 

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You may know by now that I could preach all day about how women are programmed by the patriarchy to show up in this world in very specific ways that primarily (and almost exclusively) benefit white men. Please know when I say “patriarchy” I am referring to a system that is not only harmful to women but also undermines and completely stunts the emotional development of most men. This system benefits few, but the few who benefit have the most tremendous power - globally.

Our patriarchal society has created numerous social constructs that lead us to unknowingly behave in ways that benefit some (mostly men) while holding others back (including but not limited to: women, people of color, members of the LGBTQIA+ community, people with neuro diversities, people with disabilities, and people with larger bodies).

Over the years, I’ve talked about mom guilt as a social construct and imposter syndrome as a social construct. Both of these social constructs are part of a system that intentionally makes women and moms think and behave in specific ways that ultimately limit how they show up in the world. These limitations create more space for others (most commonly white men) to have more opportunities to find success, build wealth, and amass power.  

In today’s episode, I’m going to talk about perfectionism as a social construct that largely impacts women. We will dig into different forms of perfectionism, as well as how you can start to reject perfectionism to get out of your head and get on with your life. Once you see perfectionism for what it is, I hope you are able to reframe your mindset around it to release some of the internal expectations that have perhaps been holding you back for years - if not decades. Buckle up. This is a good one!  

Links mentioned:

• NYU Article: Problematizing Perfectionism: A Closer Look at the Perfectionism Construct
• Harvard Business Review Article: How Perfectionists Can Get Out of Their Own Way
• Harvard Business Review Article: Stop Telling Women They Have Imposter Syndrome 
• Book: Inclusion on Purpose by Rushika Tulshyan

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I’ve recently spent a lot of time in rooms of women. I’ve been a guest speaker at a couple of women’s retreats. I led my own women’s retreat. I’ve been to some incredible networking events for women. And, I just keep being reminded why it is so critical for women to be in rooms with other women. Women are facing epidemic levels of loneliness and isolation. Research from the Campaign to End Loneliness shows that women, more than men, report feelings of loneliness. We often don’t see other women in the roles we aspire to have. And, as we rise in leadership, we often don’t have many women sitting beside us.  

At the end of the day, everyone wants to feel seen, heard, held, and valued. Unfortunately, these are feelings that women don’t often experience at work. Frequently, our ideas are dismissed, ignored, or co-opted by men. We’re talked over, left out of conversations, and the social events where networking happens aren’t always accessible to those of us with caregiving roles. So, where do we go to get the support we need?

That’s where the power of being in rooms with other women comes in. When we gather with other women, we hear stories that reflect our own experiences, and that creates an undeniable sense of kinship and camaraderie. In these spaces, we’re free to ideate, brainstorm, and plan with confidence because we know we’re among those who will listen and champion us. We realize we’re not alone in navigating a world that wasn’t designed for us to thrive in—and that realization is incredibly empowering.

In this episode, I explore how women can create spaces of support, share strategies for success, and build networks that lift each other up. When women come together, magic happens—and that magic starts by getting in the room.

Tune in to learn:

• Why women are lonelier than men and how leadership roles often exacerbate isolation
• The importance of finding spaces where you can feel seen, heard, and valued
• How being in rooms with other women can spark ideation, support, and shared success

Don't miss this powerful conversation on the importance of women creating and finding spaces where we can thrive together.

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While I’m not much of a history buff, I am fascinated by humans and human behavior - even ancient human behavior. So, when presented with the opportunity to examine historical models of leadership in my Masters of Organizational Leadership program, I was all in. 

In studying leadership models across centuries and then within the decades of the last 120 years, there are undeniable patterns of leadership that are mostly about power and dominance and almost exclusively about the power and dominance of men. 

In this episode, we will look at historical models of leadership which for centuries involved leaders who could easily be characterized as narcissists with their tyrannical, manipulative behavior in which they were commonly charming and gaslighting their followers, especially women, in equal proportion. It’s pretty fascinating to see how much of this behavior endures in leadership models today.  

When we look at these models of leadership, we can see how these depictions of leaders over time have continued to “inspire” models of leadership today. We have repeatedly created systems and structures of leadership that center leaders in roles to have power OVER their followers rather than power WITH their followers.  

Understanding the patterns present in these systems can be useful in addressing, disrupting, and dismantling the sexist power structures that commonly exist in these systems, even as we claim to have created new systems that include equal rights for all regardless of gender.  

This episode will open your eyes to how we are still very much settling for, if not embracing, aspects of historical models of leadership to the great detriment of women and people who carry marginalized identities. Yet, hope is not lost. There is still time to do better. And, we will. 

Link mentioned:

• Book: Burnout by Emily Nagoski, PhD and Amelia Nagoski, DMA

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I have been in countless rooms over the last few years where the person leading designates the space a “safe space”. This designation is usually given right before an invitation for people to share something that may require some level of vulnerability.

While I think the intentions of the folks saying this are good, I think there is actually more potential for harm than good when we deem a space a “safe space” without very seriously considering what creates actual safety for people and how tremendously one person’s needs for safety can vary from the next. We also need to recognize that anyone’s needs around safety can change on a day-to-day basis. So, it is not on a leader to claim a space as “safe” because there is no way a leader can guarantee actual safety.  

I always say that a space is only as safe as the person who feels the least amount of safety deems it to be.  

While we cannot guarantee safety, there are definitely steps we can take to build a culture of trust and psychological safety that can go a long way. If you’re looking to build a culture of safety there are a handful of things to consider.  

If I were to come into your organization and do a psychological safety audit of sorts, here are some things I would examine:

• How do people talk to each other
• How do people talk about each other
• How are mistakes handled
• How do leaders apologize and take ownership of their mistakes
• How is support demonstrated in good times and bad
• How are people given the opportunity to get to know one another as humans - not just coworkers with specific skill sets
• What routines and rituals are in place that build trust over time
• How transparent are leaders
• How accessible are leaders to all levels of team members
• What is the reputation of the HR department
• Does HR make it clear what reportable offenses are and how to report them

In this episode, I talk about steps you can take to build a foundation of trust and psychological safety so that when you are on the brink of asking people to share ideas or be vulnerable you don’t need to make a “safe space” announcement because safety is implied, felt, and held automatically.  

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“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel” Maya Angelou

How you make people feel is a big responsibility as a leader. While you cannot control how others perceive and receive you, you can control how you attempt to engage and lead in positive, supportive, and authentic ways. 

The way you engage with the people you lead - from saying hello to delegating tasks to providing feedback to saying “Thank you” - matters.  

When I was in high school I was lucky enough to have a job where my very first boss, Karen, looked me in the eye and greeted me with a big smile every single day when I arrived at work. She made me feel important and like my contributions were significant even though my work was easily the least significant in the company.  

I loved working for Karen. I always knew where I stood with her. I knew I was doing a good job supporting her and the team. And, I knew she would let me know if I needed to course correct in a fumbly moment. I loved making her job just a little bit easier. 

I had several bosses who followed Karen who made me feel small, insignificant, and even invisible at times. I had no desire to prove myself to these leaders. In fact, sometimes I looked forward to brushing them off the same way they did me. I knew they didn’t deserve the best parts of me, so they didn’t get them. 

Great leaders' interactions with those whom they lead are consistently additive, meaning they add value to their day and their work.  

In this episode, I share the story of Karen vs Ross, my first two bosses who could not have been more opposite in their leadership. In hearing about these two vastly different leadership experiences, I think you will see how the smallest moments of leadership, like saying “Hi!”, can have a big impact on your leadership legacy.  

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