Help Me Be Me is an emotional toolkit for creating positive change in yourself.
This is a super woo episode! It’s for all my creative friends and anyone who is feeling fearful and reactive in the state of uncertainty. If you’re a creative person and you feel stuck or stunted by fear, this is a grounding episode for clarity and building momentum. It’s a reflection episode in that I invite you to be more present and focus on where you can channel energy. In a nutshell, I am talking about what many refer to “divine feminine energy” – this is not about gender, but more an opposite energy that is essential to creativity: that state of “allowing” versus “muscling” and goal-setting. I personally have been out of balance lately in that I have been in the muscling, goal-setting “masculine” energy. I am inviting more balance into my life where I can be more in the welcoming and inspired – especially during this winter stage of life. If this sounds like something you need, this episode will hopefully bring you more calm and serenity. This is for creating balance in your life in your energy and in your future year.
When I talk about masculine and feminine - I am talking about poles, like a yin-yang, not genders – so when you hear those terms you can refer to them as opposites that don’t really relate to cultural gender definitions.
Regardless I send you love and wish you a happy holiday season! Xox
The book I mentioned:
https://amzn.to/3L4ntk5
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A visioning practice as we close out the year. This is for making space for what is meant to come forth. This is for anyone wanting to process what is inside and position themselves for the year to come. I have lots of prompts in this one for reflecting and journaling. I also have lots of prompts for creating a vision board! A link to these prompts is linked below – in the case you want to just listen along and then do them in a journal and make a vision board later.
I have been doing this myself because it’s easy to get so busy. We need a moment to checkin with where we’re at – what’s working, what needs tweaking. For me the ideal way to move through life is constantly course correcting, refining the recipe for your day, as you go. To be happy and fulfilled, we have to stop and take time to reflect on our life: what’s working and what we want to let go of. This ep is that opportunity!!
Here’s Pam Grout’s book which I love:
Here are the prompts from this episode:
https://yaywithme.squarespace.com/visioning-2025
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This is for working on relationships in your life where you have weak boundaries. If there is a loved one who doesn’t respect your boundaries and you feel guilty for needing space from them, know that that is part of your upbringing and the feeling of needing space is your emotional health saying “I need to heal.” This is an episode to give you some relief around that set of feelings. It has some tools for coming into the present, tuning into your body.
Truly healthy and loving relationships are built between two capable individuals who show up with heartfelt effort. This also applies with your relationship to yourself: you need to show up for you and set consistent boundaries around harmful situations. If there’s a person in your life who is not honoring you and your values, it’s up to you to boundary how you deserve to be treated. There need to be consequences when someone is not treating you with basic human respect. If there’s a person in your life who is having all their cake while you beg for emotional crumbs, this is an episode about confronting change and moving toward action. The inner world will match the outer world: your bar has to be consistent for everyone in your life otherwise your self-worth is affected in all spheres. Sending love!
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We have a finite reserve of drive, otherwise known as libido. Libido is often used to refer to sexual desire but it also refers to a psychological drive – an energy for life satisfaction. In this episode I am referring to your drive and your ibido as psychic energy in general. This is about protecting your source of drive: channeling it toward that which you truly desire on a deep, personal level. Often in life, our drive gets fractured or frustrated by the needs of others or by filling the void with things like substances.
I invite you to reflect on what’s happening in your life and where your libido is currently going. It needs to be channeled toward that which is most important to you. We must create a strong and consistent “container” or safe space for ourselves to bring forth any goal. Whatever condition in your life is stealing you away from a goal – I encourage you to be active in that fight even if it is unpleasant. That is a step in the process of change. Being in the struggle is how we move planets in our life.
The books I mention in the episode are here:
And this is the dreamwork book:
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Sometimes there is a path forward that we have not leveraged because we spin out in guilty ruminations and projections. You may want to get out of a relationship or change a condition in your life, but you defer to another person’s thoughts as you imagine them in your own mind. We often block ourselves from aligning with a truth with self-limiting beliefs and guilt because for codependents guilt is INTENSE. This is about ways that codependency can show up: allowing the feelings of others to block us from what we want.
This is aimed at reflection and a chance to look inward. I wanted to say if you’re in a place like this – you feel stuck and it feels like it’s all on this other person, that is an opportunity to step back, tune in, and practice letting go. Sending love…
The book I mention is this lovely read:
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Or having enough of yourself to channel toward that which you are gifted to bring into this world. This is for those cultivating a creative dream who are struggling to get into creative flow. This episode has tools for jumpstarting a sense of inner drive that comes from knowing oneself.
Where you might be right now: energetically “occupied.” Relationships take up a lot of time and remove our mental ability to think autonomously. As do jobs. In general, if we are unable to access flow it’s a sign we are spiritually taxed. Sometimes that is because life has made you neglect that part of yourself. Sometimes your creative muscles are just out of use. And other times it’s because someone hurt you and it has given you performance anxiety.
Protect your energy - it is precious, the most finite resource you have. To access that place of flow and drive, we need safety and private psychic space. What I will go into in this episode is how to start to build up a routine and get moving toward your creative goal.
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Losing, feeling low, less-than, not winning at something. This is for a perspective flip: seeing every place as exactly where you need to be, at a given time. We all have seasons in our life and cycles we move through. Cycles of productivity, growth, success, and then there is also resetting – where we are brought into a new, full understanding of reality. This is important and though painful, it also serves a role in your life: think of it as the winter of your cycle.
A Seneca quote that feels appropriate: “No man is more unhappy than he who never faces adversity.”
Friction is how we move into new levels and capacities for joy and depth. When we return to the barren state, we check in with self and with life: where am I and where should I be going? There is new information to be brought in and it brings about the reshaping of self. This episode has some tools to look at your loss or your feeling of lowness as a winter opportunity for inquiry and change. This can be a moment of truth, acceptance, reconciliation. If something has recently hit you – do not panic, do not reject it, but allow the change to wash over you. Sending love…
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This episode is really about living a life of meaning and being intentional in that approach to today. Tools for focusing your energy on on vibrating toward good – whatever that looks like for YOU, right now. What do you live for? Is your life designed around this thing? I don’t mean living for a job or a mission, necessarily. I also mean things like “hiking with my dog” or “mountain biking.”
This episode is about returning to yourself, coming back to who you are through deliberate efforts. We are constantly recalibrating.
I read a quote recently by E.L. Doctoro about writing a novel. “Writing is like driving at night in the fog. You can only see as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.' Self-work and healing is also like driving a car at night. You can make the whole trip that way, you don’t need to see it all at once. Just focus on being deliberate and intentional in how you approach today – only today, right now. We return to ourselves when we create conditions that remind us of our origins.
The book I mention is here:
https://amzn.to/4mcnBKM
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What is love bombing? It’s a term used to describe the initial phase of a relationship when someone is trying to “seal the deal” with intoxicating affection. The person connects quick and hard, often validating you in ways you have craved your whole life; saying all the things you want to hear, treating you like you have dreamed of being treated. They make you feel seen and adored, which is why it’s so confusing and painful when it ends.
A lot of people ask me, what happened to that person? Was it not real? It was real for you in your personal experience – however the person who enacted it was not portraying their true self. A person like this usually collects fans. They collect adorers, and they get off on the feeling of control. So I describe it often as a person with a different kind of brain. More on this plus some tools in this episode. This is for one person in particular but also meant for anyone who has fallen for a person who immediately disposed of you after you thought they were the one. And if you’ve been love-bombed and then deeply wounded, I send you much love. Hang in there. xox
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Are you being loving or are you enabling someone to remain dysfunctional? How do you tell? If you are a person who finds you are enraged and triggered by a relationship in your life and you feel powerless, this episode is about imbalanced relationships where one person is overactive and another person is underactive and how that “sick system” self-perpetuates despite everyone having good intentions. If you are unsure whether or not you are codependent, ask yourself – do you obsess about the way another person lives their life and does it make you miserable? Are you finding yourself being put in compromising situations because of that person? This episode might be a helpful starting point. Also here are a few must-reads!
Codependent No More
Courage to Change
The Dance of Anger
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The alt name for this episode was “Ask More of Yourself” but that felt kind of agro. A lot of success in life happens in tiny micro changes. This episode is to help you curate the mindset of “I got this” as you move through your day. This is about building agency and momentum via seeing success as something small. Keeping a perspective of our own ability, sense of agency, and curating a feeling of “I got this” as we move through challenging times or new, fear-inducing territory.
Stick around for the tools in this one! This has tips for staying in the channel of focus on what you’re doing right. Appreciating life in the exertion periods and giving yourself an awareness snap of, “Oh, wow, it’s actually not so hard, and I can do this” We can get that snap of clarity when we can look at a loved one from a generation past or the long hours demanded of an Olympic athlete. That concept of empowered endurance and self-motivation is a reset for our day to day toils. Sending love… you are so much stronger than you think, right now.
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