Have you ever felt trapped by self-doubt or overwhelmed by negative thoughts about yourself? In this episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz explores how our minds play tricks on us, creating distorted beliefs that undermine our confidence. But what if you could flip the script? Learn why these mental patterns exist, how they hold you back, and what you can do to reclaim your confidence. Whether you’re navigating social anxiety, professional insecurity, or just want to feel more self-assured in your day-to-day life, this episode offers insights that will shift your perspective and help you step into your best self. Tune in now!

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Confidence can seem elusive at times, especially when you’re constantly battling inner doubts and self-criticism. But what if I told you that you can trick yourself into feeling high confidence? Now, I know this might sound strange at first. "Tricking yourself?" you might wonder. Isn't that just being fake? Well, let's take a deeper look at how this actually works—and how it can help you break free from the cycle of self-doubt.

The Power of "Tricking" Yourself

The concept of "tricking yourself" isn't about being dishonest or pretending to be something you're not. Instead, it's about flipping the negative, distorted thoughts you have about yourself and intentionally replacing them with a more positive, empowering narrative. Think of it as a fun little game, where you reprogram your brain to believe in your capabilities, even when your inner critic tells you otherwise.

If you’re skeptical about this approach, consider this: We’re already tricking ourselves every day. Most of us are walking around with an internal narrative that tells us we’re inadequate, unlikable, or just not good enough. These thoughts aren't grounded in reality—they're just distorted beliefs we’ve bought into. So why not "trick" yourself into the opposite?

Why We Do It: The Safety Police

There’s a part of us that keeps us safe from discomfort—the "safety police" inside. It wants to protect us from potential pain and failure, so it distorts our reality to prevent us from taking risks. This is why we might assume that we're awkward, unworthy, or destined to fail in social situations. The safety police uses this distorted thinking to keep us from putting ourselves out there. But by tricking ourselves into believing that we are worthy and capable, we bypass this fear and begin to act with confidence.

Real-Life Example: The Power of Perception

Let me share a story from one of my clients. He and his friends were at a club, dancing, and he felt extremely self-conscious. He imagined that everyone around him thought he was awkward and uncomfortable. But after the night ended, he casually asked someone he had danced with if they thought it was awkward. To his surprise, she said it was great! That moment clicked for him. All the negative thoughts he’d had were simply made-up stories, and once he let go of those fears, he could enjoy the moment without the burden of self-doubt.

This is how our minds work: we create stories, usually negative ones, about our abilities and how others perceive us. The trick is to flip the script and start making up positive, empowering stories instead.

How to Put It Into Action

1. Identify a Negative Story: Think about a situation where you typically feel insecure or self-conscious—maybe it’s speaking up at meetings, going on a date, or trying something new.

2. Flip the Script: Now, reframe that situation. Instead of imagining how awkward or unlikable you are, make up a story where everything goes smoothly. For example, instead of thinking, "I’ll probably mess this up," tell yourself, "I’m confident and capable. I’m going to do great!"

3. Practice It Regularly: The more you practice this technique, the easier it will become to automatically think in a positive, empowering way. Eventually, you’ll find that these new beliefs start to feel just as true as the old, negative ones.

The Takeaway: It’s All Made Up Anyway

Here’s the thing: We are always telling ourselves stories—about ourselves and the world around us. Most of the time, those stories are negative, but there’s no rule saying they have to be. You have the power to reframe your inner narrative and make up something that serves you, not something that holds you back.

So next time you’re faced with a situation that triggers your self-doubt, remember: It’s all made up anyway. Why not make up a story that helps you feel confident, capable, and worthy of success? You might be surprised at how powerful this simple shift in thinking can be.

You can start today. Trick yourself into believing that you are awesome—and watch how quickly your confidence follows.

Feeling self-conscious or insecure often feels like an unavoidable part of life, but it doesn't have to be. In today's episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz reveals the surprising way to feel less insecure and unlock your confidence: shift your focus outward.

When you're insecure, your attention collapses inward, creating a loop of self-criticism and hyper-awareness. Instead of helping, this fixation often amplifies discomfort and reduces your ability to connect or perform. The secret? Focus less on yourself and more on others. Observe their actions, ask questions, or notice details like their interests or even their clothing. This simple practice can break the cycle of self-focus, reducing anxiety and creating natural, authentic connection.

"Confidence isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being present," says Dr. Aziz. By shifting your attention from "me" to "we," you'll not only feel more grounded, but you'll also realize how little your perceived flaws matter.

Start small today: pick one thing to notice about the people you interact with, such as their eye color or what excites them. The more you practice this, the more your insecurities fade into the background, leaving room for true confidence to grow.

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Do you often find yourself feeling insecure or overly self-conscious? You’re not alone. In fact, many people, even the most successful, capable, and attractive individuals, experience these feelings. But what if I told you that your insecurity might not have anything to do with your actual abilities or how others see you? Instead, it could be about where your focus is going. Let's explore how you can feel less insecure by simply shifting your attention.

Insecurity Doesn’t Reflect Your Value

Most people think insecurity comes from a place of lack—that something is missing in their personality, appearance, or skills. Maybe you’ve felt this way too. You might think, “I’m not smart enough, attractive enough, or worthy enough for this situation.” But here’s the liberating truth: insecurity and self-consciousness are often completely disconnected from how others perceive you. They’re more about your own internal narrative.

"Your insecurity doesn’t equal others looking down on you. It’s all an internal experience, often not visible to those around you."

So, when you feel insecure or self-conscious, remember—it’s a feeling you’re having, not a reflection of how others see you. You might be assuming others are thinking something negative about you when, in reality, they may not even be paying attention to you the way you think they are.

The Focus of Insecurity: It’s All About You

When you’re feeling insecure, where does your attention go? That’s right—you start hyper-focusing on yourself. “Am I doing this right? Did I say the wrong thing? Does my voice sound shaky? Are they judging me?”

Insecurity creates a loop where you become obsessed with how others perceive you. The more you focus on yourself, the more you feel anxious. In fact, the more you try to control or perfect every aspect of yourself to avoid judgment, the worse it gets. Ironically, this self-obsession often leads to performance anxiety and stress, making your presentation, conversation, or interaction even less effective.

"The more you try to perfect yourself, the more you create performance anxiety, which decreases your effectiveness and amplifies insecurity."

The Secret to Freedom: Focus on Others

Here’s the twist: The solution to your insecurity is to stop focusing on yourself. When you expand your focus outward, you release the pressure to be perfect and open yourself up to real, meaningful connections. This shift from self-absorption to genuine curiosity about others is the key to overcoming self-consciousness.

I worked with a client who often felt insecure in social situations. His self-focus was so intense that he couldn’t fully engage with others. So, I suggested he try something different: observe and focus on other people, particularly on their clothing choices, their body language, and their interests. The more he did this, the less he focused on himself and the more relaxed he felt.

"When you focus on others, you free yourself from self-judgment and open up to deeper connections."

Putting It Into Action: Your Step Toward Confidence

Here’s your action step for today: Practice focusing on others. Whether it’s noticing the details of people’s clothing or listening deeply to their stories, consciously direct your attention outward. This simple shift will make you feel less self-conscious and more connected. The more you practice, the more your insecurities will fade into the background.

Remember, you don’t need to be perfect. You just need to be present with others. As you do this, your self-consciousness will shrink, and your confidence will grow.

"By focusing on others, you can stop policing yourself and start living authentically."

Try this out today and see how it feels. You’ll be amazed at how much more relaxed and confident you can be when you stop obsessing over yourself and start connecting with others

True self-confidence doesn’t come from looking perfect, saying the right things, or playing a role—it comes from letting yourself be truly seen. In this episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz reveals the surprising magic ingredient to building lasting confidence: authentic sharing.

When you allow yourself to share what’s real—your thoughts, feelings, and experiences—you break down the barriers of fear and self-doubt. Instead of hiding behind a mask, you show up as your true self, and in doing so, you create genuine connection and trust with others.

This level of vulnerability isn’t always easy, but it’s where real confidence lives. Start small: share 5% more of your authentic self in your next conversation and notice the difference.

If you're ready to claim 2025 as the year you show up fully and boldly, tune in and discover how unveiling yourself can transform your confidence forever.

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Are you struggling with self-confidence? It might surprise you to know that the magic ingredient isn’t about changing your appearance, gaining more knowledge, or getting a perfect track record. In fact, it’s something far more powerful—and it’s not about you at all.

I’m Dr. Aziz, and in today’s episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, I’ll reveal the counterintuitive secret to building true self-confidence in 2025. The best part? You can start practicing it right now.

The Key to True Confidence: Letting Yourself Be Seen

The secret to true self-confidence isn’t more self-help tools or tricks. It’s about one thing: sharing. Not just sharing your favorite hobbies or where you’re from, but allowing yourself to be seen and known as you are right now. This means being authentically yourself, even in moments when it feels uncomfortable.

I call it “unveiling yourself,” and it’s the key to breaking down barriers in your social life and relationships. When you let others see who you really are, the magic of confidence starts to build, because confidence is not about pretending to be someone else—it’s about fully showing up as the person you truly are.

“Intimacy is not about sex. It’s about being seen for who you truly are.”

Why We Hide Ourselves—and How to Stop

For many, opening up and sharing who we truly are can feel risky. We worry that we’ll be judged, rejected, or misunderstood. Maybe you’ve tried to fit in by playing a role or saying the things you think people want to hear. But here's the truth: playing a role doesn’t build confidence—it breeds anxiety. True confidence comes from showing up authentically and letting people see the real you.

When you “unveil” yourself, it’s about being honest about what you’re feeling in the moment. Whether it's vulnerability, anxiety, or joy, when you share that openly, you invite deeper connection. And that’s the essence of confidence.

Intimacy is Key

A common misconception about intimacy is that it’s tied only to romantic relationships. But intimacy is about true connection, whether it’s with your partner, a friend, or even a stranger. Intimacy comes when you allow someone to see into you, and you do the same for them.

Most people aren’t comfortable with this level of intimacy. It’s risky, and it’s not always easy. But the beauty of intimacy is that it strengthens relationships and deepens bonds in a way that surface-level small talk never can.

“The more you share, the stronger your connection becomes, and your self-confidence builds with every real interaction.”

The Power of Vulnerability

When I met my wife Candace, I decided to do things differently. I didn’t want to hide behind any role or act. I wanted to be real, even if it meant feeling vulnerable. Instead of asking what I should say to impress her, I focused on what was true for me and shared that.

What I found was shocking: Being vulnerable didn’t push her away. Instead, it drew us closer and built a deeper connection. And, as a bonus, it boosted my confidence because I no longer had to pretend to be someone I wasn’t.

Your Action Step for Today

It’s time for you to practice unveiling yourself. Start small—pick one relationship in your life and share a little bit more than you normally would. Let yourself be seen and known for who you really are, even if it’s just 5% more than usual.

As you practice, you’ll notice something amazing: Not only will your relationships deepen, but your confidence will grow. And the best part? You’re going to feel more authentic and connected than ever before.

“When you let go of the need to hide and share your true self, you unlock a powerful, unshakable confidence.”

So, are you ready to claim 2025 as the year you step into your authentic self? Practice unveiling yourself, and watch your self-confidence soar.

Let me know how it goes!

In this first episode of 2025, Dr. Aziz kicks off the year with a powerful question: Is 2025 going to be your year? While the future holds uncertainty, Dr. Aziz emphasizes that you can still claim this year as yours—not because you can predict every outcome, but because of how you choose to show up in every moment. With humor, insight, and a touch of personal vulnerability, he explores how our mindset, attitude, and willingness to embrace both patience and bold action determine the quality of our experiences, regardless of circumstances.

Dr. Aziz shares reflections on the power of claiming your path, leaning into challenges, and adopting a sense of certainty that transcends momentary setbacks. He introduces the concept of being “guided by your future self,” a perspective inspired by his studies with Donny Epstein, the creator of Network Chiropractic. Whether it’s adopting patience, cultivating resilience, or committing to bold actions, Dr. Aziz encourages listeners to anchor themselves in a powerful intention for the year ahead.

To wrap up, he invites you to declare aloud (or in your mind, if you’re surrounded by people), “2025 is going to be my year because…” Fill in that blank with your truth, your vision, and your commitment. As challenges inevitably arise, this declaration serves as your north star, keeping you focused and aligned with your goals.

Welcome to 2025—let’s make it your year.

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Welcome to 2025! As we dive into the new year, you might be wondering, Will this year be your year? The truth is, while none of us can predict exactly what the future holds, there’s one thing we can control—how we approach it.

I’m Dr. Aziz, and in this episode, I’m challenging you to stop waiting for perfect circumstances and start claiming your power. The truth is, confidence is not about waiting for everything to align perfectly. It’s about choosing to stand strong no matter what life throws your way.

The Power of Claiming Your Year

You might wonder, how can you say 2025 is going to be your year when you don’t even know what’s coming? Here’s the secret: You don’t need to know.

When we let life passively happen to us—waiting for good things to come or trying to avoid bad ones—we’re giving away our power. In this episode, I break down why life is full of uncertainty, and why that can either hold you back or drive you forward.

Instead of letting uncertainty create anxiety, use it to fuel your confidence. Instead of seeing challenges as obstacles, see them as opportunities for growth. What if everything that happens, good or bad, could be part of your greater plan? The key is to claim your year by focusing on what you’re going to create and how you’re going to show up.

Your Confidence is an Inside Job

So, how do you make 2025 your year? The first step is realizing that your confidence doesn’t come from external events or circumstances. It’s an inside job. If you tie your sense of worth and happiness to things outside of you—like recognition, success, or approval—you’ll always be at the mercy of external forces.

But when you realize that your worth is inherent, that you don’t need others’ approval to validate your existence, everything changes. That’s how you build unshakeable confidence. So, ask yourself: What would 2025 look like if you fully owned your value, no matter what’s happening in the world around you?

Adversity is Part of the Journey

The reality is, adversity will come. Challenges are inevitable. And just like I learned in my own life and through working with countless others, how you respond to adversity is what defines your success.

Instead of viewing setbacks as something to fear or avoid, I encourage you to see them as part of the process. As I shared in my upcoming book Doubtless, uncertainty is not something to fear but to embrace. It’s where all growth and transformation happen.

Here’s a powerful action step for you: Take a moment to say out loud, “2025 is going to be my year because...” Let the words flow from you. Maybe it’s because you’re going to show up with more courage. Maybe it’s because you’re going to take bold actions, practice patience, or trust yourself like never before.

2025 is going to be your year—not because the circumstances will be perfect, but because you’re choosing to take control of your response. You’re choosing confidence over fear. You’re choosing to show up no matter what. And that, my friend, is the true key to success.

Claim Your Year Now

As you move forward into 2025, take it one day at a time. Know that challenges will arise, but you have the tools to face them. With every step you take, no matter how small, you’re moving closer to a more confident version of yourself.

In the words of my mentor Donnie Epstein, you are already who you need to be. The future you’re aiming for is already there; it’s just a matter of stepping into it. Embrace that power, and let’s make this your year of confidence and success.

Until next time, may you have the courage to be who you are and know, deep down, that you're awesome. Let’s make 2025 a year to remember.

This reflective holiday episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy dives into the idea of giving yourself a profound, transformative gift this season—the gift of being on your own side. Dr. Aziz begins by acknowledging the universal concept of gift-giving during this time of year and how it ties into deeper self-reflection. Whether you celebrate Christmas, another holiday, or simply embrace the season as a time for rest and connection, this episode explores a different kind of gift—a gift that directly impacts your confidence and sense of self-worth.

Dr. Aziz shares a touching client story to illustrate how distorted self-perceptions often hold people back, despite external evidence of their worth and capabilities. He emphasizes that confidence is an inside job, urging listeners to shift their internal dialogue and challenge toxic self-perceptions. Through practical advice, he highlights the importance of offering yourself the love, praise, and acknowledgment you may have been withholding. With humor and insight, Dr. Aziz leaves listeners with a powerful action step: identify the praise and recognition you long to hear from others and begin to offer it to yourself. This holiday season, take the opportunity to become your own biggest supporter and transform your confidence from within.

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The Greatest Gift You Can Give Yourself This Holiday Season

It’s the season for giving, and if you celebrate Christmas, you’re probably thinking about what gifts to give others. Whether it’s the perfect present for a loved one or a thoughtful gesture, giving is a big part of this time of year. But here’s the twist: What if the best gift you could give isn’t something you wrap up for someone else—it’s something you give yourself?

In this episode, we’re not talking about bubble baths or new gadgets (though those are nice, too). We’re diving into the profound gift of self-love and self-acceptance—the gift that can transform your confidence and your entire experience of life.

The Inside Job: Confidence Comes From Within

One of the most powerful insights I’ve learned in my 20 years of personal growth is that confidence is an inside job. It’s never about the external circumstances—your paycheck, appearance, or recognition from others. Sure, those things can give you a temporary boost, but real, lasting confidence comes from how you see yourself on the inside.

And yet, so many people struggle with this. I recently spoke with a client, a beautiful and capable woman, who scored incredibly low on a confidence assessment I use. Despite her many strengths, she couldn’t see herself the way others did. She felt unworthy, unattractive, and not enough. And even though she intellectually acknowledged that her perception was distorted, it still felt true.

This is where the gift comes in. If you can begin to shift your perception of yourself, that’s the real transformation. But how?

Stop Starving Yourself of Self-Love

What if you stopped waiting for external validation? What if you gave yourself the gift of love, approval, and acceptance right now, without needing anyone else’s permission?

For years, my client had been withholding these gifts from herself. She had been stuck in a pattern of self-criticism, not allowing herself to feel worthy or confident. And this had created a painful, long-standing “starvation” of self-love. But here’s the thing: You don’t have to wait another decade to feel good about yourself. You can start today by choosing to be on your own side.

Instead of looking to others for validation, start practicing self-acknowledgment. See the beauty, strength, and positive qualities in yourself. Challenge the negative stories you’ve been telling yourself. When you realize that confidence comes from within, you stop relying on external sources to tell you who you are. You get to define it.

Your Action Step: Give Yourself the Gift of Praise

Here’s a powerful action step to help you give yourself this gift:

Think about the kind of praise or recognition you crave. What would you love to hear from someone important in your life? A loved one, a boss, a friend—what would make your heart swell if they said, “You’re amazing because….”

Write down those things. Don’t just let this exercise pass by. If you feel resistance, take note of it. That’s your inner critic trying to stop you from feeling good about yourself. Instead, sit with it and write out five things you would love to hear. These are the words that you need to give yourself, today.

Confidence is Yours for the Taking

Confidence is not something you have to wait for. It’s something you can choose to cultivate. It’s about stepping into your own power, taking ownership of how you see yourself, and practicing the gift of self-love, every single day.

So this holiday season, give yourself the gift of being on your own side. Stop starving yourself of love and approval, and instead, fill yourself up with positive affirmations, praise, and belief in your own worth. It will change everything.

Happy holidays, and may 2025 be the year you step into the most confident, bold, and authentic version of yourself!

n this episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz delves into a universal and thought-provoking question: Do you talk yourself out of being authentic? Spoiler alert—most of us do. He explores how fear, doubt, and social conditioning can often lead us to hold back who we truly are, whether it's in how we express ourselves, the choices we make, or how we connect with others. Authenticity, as Dr. Aziz explains, isn’t just a feel-good buzzword; it’s a dynamic and evolving practice of aligning with who you are in the minutiae of daily life, in interpersonal relationships, and on a larger, soul-level path.

Dr. Aziz shares personal stories, including how he confronted his own hesitations and fears, such as being vulnerable with his father or owning his unique interests and quirks. Through relatable examples, he illustrates the subtle ways we can hold ourselves back—whether by worrying about what others might think, fearing conflict, or simply dismissing the value of sharing ourselves. With warmth and humor, Dr. Aziz offers practical insights into identifying and defying these inner stories, encouraging listeners to step into their authentic selves and take bold, liberating actions that lead to greater self-connection and fulfillment.


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How to Stop Talking Yourself Out of Being Authentic

Do you talk yourself out of being authentic? Do you often hold back what you really think, feel, or want to say? If so, you're not alone. Most of us have been there at one point or another. In fact, for many of us, it can become a habitual response to avoid discomfort or judgment from others. But here's the thing: living authentically is one of the most empowering things you can do. And yet, it’s something we often talk ourselves out of.

In this post, I’m going to share the common ways we talk ourselves out of authenticity, and how you can shift that habit to step into a more powerful, true version of yourself.

Why Authenticity Feels So Good (But Also Scary)

Being authentic sounds great in theory, right? The idea of showing up as your true self, without pretending to be something you're not, is incredibly freeing. When you’re truly authentic, you don’t have to hide or put on a mask to gain approval. There’s a sense of freedom that comes with just being you.

But authenticity isn't always easy. Sometimes, it feels like a massive risk. It's not just about the small things—like how you dress or what you say. Authenticity also involves living in alignment with your values, making bold decisions in your career or relationships, and even letting go of things that no longer serve you. And to do that, you have to confront your fears head-on.

How We Talk Ourselves Out of Being Authentic

We all have those moments where we pull back from being our true selves. And it’s often driven by the fear of judgment. Here are a few ways we talk ourselves out of authenticity:

1. Fear of What Others Will Think This is the biggest one. Whether it’s a conversation with friends, coworkers, or family, the question often lingers: What will they think of me if I say this or do that? You might want to wear a certain outfit, express a unique opinion, or share a vulnerable moment, but the fear of judgment holds you back. In some cases, it might even be about people from your past—friends from high school, or a critical family member who still influences your decisions, even though they’re not in your life anymore.

2. Worrying About Disapproval Another way we talk ourselves out of authenticity is by worrying about how we’ll affect others. Maybe you want to share a disagreement, voice a different opinion, or express your true feelings, but you worry it will upset the other person. You might fear that you’ll destabilize the relationship, so you choose to stay quiet instead. This fear of conflict or disapproval can keep you trapped in inauthenticity.

3. Believing It’s Not Worth It Sometimes, we talk ourselves out of authenticity because we think there’s no point. For example, maybe you want to have a deeper conversation with a loved one about your feelings, but you tell yourself, What’s the point? Maybe they won’t understand, or it might cause unnecessary stress. It’s easy to hold back because you don’t think it will make a difference. But this is often just a defense mechanism to avoid vulnerability.

The Power of Defying These Stories

Here’s the thing: when you challenge these fears, when you defy the stories you tell yourself, you reclaim your power. It's about recognizing when you’re holding yourself back and deciding to do the opposite—whether that’s wearing what you want to wear, sharing an authentic opinion, or stepping into a decision that scares you.

Action Step: Start by identifying when you’re talking yourself out of being authentic. Pay attention to the moments when you hold back—whether it's in a conversation, with a friend, or in your day-to-day choices. Then, choose to defy those stories. Take the risk. You might feel vulnerable at first, but over time, you’ll discover the strength that comes with being fully yourself.

It’s Worth It: Even if someone judges you or the outcome is uncomfortable, living authentically will always feel better in the long run. You’ll feel more alive, more empowered, and more at peace with who you are. And that’s a life worth living.

You Can Be Authentic

You don’t have to be perfect at it, and it doesn’t happen overnight. But if you consistently choose to live authentically, you will experience a deeper connection to yourself and others. Start with small steps. Express your opinions. Wear what you want. Share your feelings. And as you do, you'll step into your full potential.

Remember, authenticity is a moving target—it evolves with you as you grow. So, keep embracing it, and trust that each step you take is bringing you closer to the real, powerful version of yourself.

In this episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz dives deep into the concept of social freedom—the ability to be your most authentic self in social situations without fear or inhibition. Social freedom isn’t about achieving one final destination but embracing an ongoing journey of self-expression and courage. Dr. Aziz highlights how shedding the "cage" of social anxiety or niceness allows you to fully express your thoughts, feelings, and individuality in every interaction, from casual conversations to meaningful connections.

Dr. Aziz breaks down two distinct paths to achieve social freedom: the 3% Path and the Jump-In Path. The 3% Path focuses on incremental, manageable growth—leaning into your edge by making small, consistent changes, like sharing one more authentic sentence or showing a bit more boldness in each interaction. On the other hand, the Jump-In Path is for those ready to dive headfirst into risk, shedding personas and embracing full authenticity in a powerful leap. Both methods, whether gradual or transformative, guide you toward becoming more expressive, authentic, and unapologetically you. Listen in to discover which approach resonates with your journey and how to set actionable steps to implement these transformative practices in your life.

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Are you ready to break free from the grip of fear, self-doubt, and social anxiety? Imagine waking up tomorrow with the confidence to be completely yourself, no matter who you’re around. It’s not just a dream—it’s something you can achieve, and today, I’m going to share two powerful paths to get you there.

In this episode, we’re diving into social freedom—the ability to express who you truly are in any situation without fear of judgment or rejection. Whether it’s speaking your truth at work, sharing your thoughts with friends, or simply wearing what feels good to you, social freedom means you get to be you, unapologetically.

What Is Social Freedom?

Social freedom is all about being yourself in any social context. It's about feeling free to express your thoughts, your ideas, and even your emotions without the constant worry of being judged or rejected. It’s not just about “acting” confident—social freedom comes from truly owning who you are.

To give you a simple example, my son, who was nervous about reading his story aloud, almost held back his creativity out of fear. But after a little support and encouragement, he shared his story, and it was a beautiful moment of connection. That’s what social freedom looks like: letting yourself share and fully express who you are.

Two Paths to Achieving Social Freedom

Now that you know what social freedom is, how do you get there? There are two distinct paths, and each offers a different approach to help you break free from the shackles of social anxiety.

1. The 3% Path: Small but Powerful Steps

The 3% path is about gradually expanding your comfort zone by committing to just 3% more authenticity each time you interact. This could mean sharing one more thought, asking for something you normally wouldn’t, or letting your true feelings show in a conversation.

The beauty of this path is that it’s manageable and gradual. A 3% shift is small enough to be manageable but impactful enough to create change over time. It’s the power of consistent, incremental progress. Imagine making one small change in every social interaction—over time, these changes will compound, and before you know it, you’ll be in a totally different place socially.

2. The Jump-Off-the-Dock Path: Dive Right In

The second path is more drastic—just dive in. This is the “eff it” path. You decide to fully express yourself without holding back, even if it feels uncomfortable. Instead of approaching each interaction with caution and calculation, you just let go and say what’s on your mind. You stop worrying about pleasing everyone and simply focus on being true to yourself.

This path requires boldness. It’s like jumping off a dock into the unknown. The first few jumps will be terrifying, but the rewards are immense: freedom, authenticity, and a sense of relief from constantly holding yourself back. You’ll experience more of your true self, and the social anxiety that once held you back will begin to melt away.

Which Path Is Right for You?

Both paths will lead you to social freedom, but the key is choosing which one resonates most with you right now. The 3% path is great for those who want a slow and steady approach, while the “jump off the dock” path works best for those ready to make a big shift in a shorter time frame.

Remember, there’s no wrong way to go about this. What matters most is your willingness to take action, whether it’s small steps or bold leaps.

Take Action Now

So, which path will you choose?

If you’re ready to take action, set a clear intention for how you want to move forward. Will you start small with the 3% path, or are you ready to dive in headfirst?

The most important thing is to start. Lean into the discomfort. That’s where the magic happens.

If you’re looking for more support on your journey to social freedom, be sure to check out my Mastermind program coming in early 2025. But until then, embrace who you are and know that your true self is enough.

You’ve got this!

In this episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz delves into the fourth principle of sanity and victory: Almost Always On My Own Side (AMOS). Building on the previous principles—taking ownership, surrendering to life's flow, and embracing the process—AMOS introduces the idea of being consistently compassionate and supportive toward yourself. Dr. Aziz explores the concept of self-compassion as a transformative tool, helping you to let go of self-criticism and cultivate a nurturing relationship with yourself. He draws on both personal experience and years of clinical research, illustrating how shifting from self-attack to self-support can profoundly impact your confidence and overall well-being.

Dr. Aziz emphasizes that being on your own side is not just about boosting self-esteem or acknowledging your worth when things go well. Instead, it's about offering yourself kindness and empathy, especially when you face setbacks or challenges. He provides actionable steps to practice AMOS in daily life, including simple yet powerful questions like, “What would I do or say if I were truly on my own side right now?” Whether you’re new to the concept or already practicing it, this episode offers fresh insights and practical tools to deepen your self-compassion and unlock greater confidence. Tune in to discover how to step into a more aligned and supportive relationship with yourself.


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Welcome to today’s episode, where we dive deep into the fourth principle of sanity and victory—a concept that can truly transform your confidence. If you’ve been following along, you already know the first three principles:

1. I am the captain of my ship—taking full ownership of your life.
2. Surrender is the ultimate life skill—accepting that you can’t control everything, but you can control how you respond.
3. The process is the purpose—embracing the journey rather than obsessing over the end goal.

If you’re feeling intrigued, then the next principle will change the way you see yourself, forever. It’s called Almost Always On My Own Side (OMOS).

What Does "Almost Always" Mean?

At its core, this principle is about learning to be on your own side. It’s about treating yourself as you would a close friend—compassionately, with understanding, and without judgment. You’re probably familiar with the term "self-esteem," which refers to how much you value yourself. High self-esteem is about believing you bring value to the world; low self-esteem, on the other hand, is when you feel like you have nothing to offer. But what happens when you don’t feel valuable, especially after making a mistake or when you’re in the process of learning something new?

This is where self-compassion comes in. Unlike self-esteem, which is dependent on how well you perform, self-compassion is unconditional. It’s not about being perfect or achieving greatness; it’s about acknowledging your struggles and treating yourself with kindness, regardless of the outcome.

What Happens When You're Not On Your Own Side?

Imagine being constantly followed around by someone who critiques everything you do. They point out every mistake, call you stupid, and tell you that you're not good enough. You wouldn’t tolerate this behavior from someone else, so why do we allow this internal critic to rule our lives?

For many of us, this critic becomes our default mode. We spend our days beating ourselves up, never allowing room for compassion or understanding. The truth is, this is insanity—it’s a toxic pattern that drains our energy and holds us back from living fully. But when we practice being on our own side, we begin to shift from self-attack to self-support. We stop judging ourselves harshly and start lifting ourselves up with compassion, understanding that we are enough just as we are.

The Power of Practicing OMOS

When you begin to practice being on your own side, something amazing happens: You start to shift how you approach life’s challenges. Instead of hiding from difficulties, you embrace them as opportunities for growth. This change in perspective is incredibly freeing, and it can radically alter your confidence.

Why This Principle Is Key to Your Confidence

So why is being on your own side so essential for building confidence? Because confidence isn’t about being perfect; it’s about embracing your humanity, mistakes and all. You need the courage to face your fears and take risks, even when things don’t go perfectly. When you’re on your own side, you develop the strength to keep moving forward—no matter how many setbacks you face.

Take Action Today

Now that you understand the power of being on your own side, it’s time to put this principle into action. Start by asking yourself: How on my own side am I today? Can you treat yourself with kindness and compassion, even in moments of struggle?

To take it a step further, think about one area of your life where you’ve been critical of yourself. Maybe it's your work, your appearance, or your relationships. Now, instead of criticizing yourself, show compassion. Acknowledge your struggles, give yourself some grace, and move forward with kindness.

If you're ready for more transformation and support in this journey, check out my Unstoppable Confidence Mastermind, where we take principles like OMOS and apply them to real-life challenges, helping you build lasting, unshakable confidence.

Remember, you’re awesome, and you deserve to be on your own side. Start practicing today, and watch how your life begins to transform.

In this episode, Dr. Aziz reveals three essential truths about transforming your confidence and breaking free from limitations. First, he emphasizes that transformation is possible no matter how long you've struggled. Confidence is not an unattainable dream; it’s a skill you can develop with the right mindset and actions. This belief is the foundation for any meaningful change.

Second, Dr. Aziz highlights that building confidence requires action. Lasting change doesn’t come from waiting or hoping—it comes from consistent, intentional practice. Whether it’s stepping into uncomfortable situations or taking small, bold actions, you must invest effort to see results. Finally, he explains that while transformation can happen faster than you think, it may take longer than you want. True confidence isn’t a finish line; it’s a way of being that grows through embracing the process over time.

Dr. Aziz shares practical steps you can take now to accelerate your growth, along with inspiring examples of radical change from his clients. If you’re ready to step into greater confidence, don’t miss this episode—and consider exploring his Unstoppable Confidence Mastermind for deeper support in your journey.

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Do you feel stuck in a cycle of self-doubt, constantly striving for more but never quite reaching the confidence you desire? If you've been battling social anxiety, people-pleasing, or simply struggling to find the courage to be yourself, this post is for you. Today, I’m going to share three essential truths about transforming your confidence and why it's not just possible—but inevitable—if you follow these principles.

1. Transformation is Possible for YOU

The first—and most important—step in transforming your confidence is believing it’s possible. Now, I know this might sound like a given, but it’s more complex than you might think. The reality is, many of us hold onto a belief that our struggles with social anxiety or low self-esteem are permanent. You might think, "This is just who I am, I can't change." But I'm here to tell you, that belief is a lie.

When I first started my journey, I was just as unsure about my ability to change as you might be now. But through consistent effort, I not only overcame my own struggles, but I've helped countless others do the same. The key to transforming your confidence is realizing that it’s possible for you—no matter how stuck you feel right now. The shift from feeling helpless to realizing the potential for change is a game-changer. It starts with your belief that transformation is achievable.

2. Confidence Requires Action and Commitment

The second truth is a simple but often overlooked one: building confidence requires something from you. You can't expect to build lasting confidence without putting in the effort. Just like getting fit or learning a new skill, confidence is a muscle that needs consistent practice.

Here’s an example: imagine you want to be more confident in social situations. You can’t just think about it or read books about it—you need to take action. Start small. Practice greeting strangers at the supermarket or starting conversations with colleagues. You’ll notice that the more you push yourself past the discomfort, the more you begin to strengthen your confidence.

Remember: confidence doesn’t grow without discomfort. It’s the willingness to step into those uncomfortable moments and push through them that will make the difference in your journey. Yes, it’s uncomfortable at first, but that’s how you grow.

3. Confidence Can Happen Faster Than You Think—but it Takes Time

The final truth is a bit of a paradox: confidence can happen faster than you think, but it will likely take longer than you want. Let me explain. Transformation is not an overnight success story, but you can experience significant breakthroughs in a short period. If you’re committed and consistent, you can have “wow” moments of progress in just a few weeks.

However, building true confidence requires ongoing effort. It's not a one-time fix. Over time, as you practice and push through your fears, you'll build momentum. But don't be discouraged by setbacks—they’re part of the process. As you build confidence, you’ll learn to embrace the journey and not just the destination.

Take Action Now: It’s Time for You to Transform

If you take nothing else away from this post, let it be this: confidence is a journey, not a destination. The first step is believing that transformation is possible for you. Then, take action and commit to practicing consistently, even if it feels uncomfortable at first. And finally, embrace the fact that progress might take longer than you want, but you will get there.

Are you ready to take the first step toward a confident, empowered life? Start small. Take one action today that scares you just a little, and watch how it changes everything.

Remember: You are capable of more than you think. Keep pushing, keep practicing, and soon you’ll look back and marvel at how far you've come. You’ve got this!

Welcome back to part two of Taking the Sting Out of Rejection! In this episode, Aziz guides you through a transformative process to deflate the drama around rejection and reconnect with a deep sense of okayness within yourself.

Learn how to shift rejection from a source of shame and self-doubt to neutral information, while embracing a powerful truth: you don’t need any one person or situation to feel whole. With a guided practice, Aziz helps you find safety and peace within your body, letting go of the grasping and fear that rejection often triggers.

This episode offers a hands-on approach to healing and liberation from rejection’s sting. Stay tuned until the end for a deeply grounding exercise. And if you haven’t yet listened to part one, make sure to start there for the full experience!

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If you haven’t yet listened to Part One of this series, stop right here and go back to that episode. It's essential for fully grasping what we're going to explore today. In Part One, we uncovered the automatic reactions you have when you face rejection, and we talked about why those reactions happen. Now, in Part Two, we're going to shift the focus to how you can take the sting out of rejection and move forward with confidence and peace.

Rejection is Information, Not a Reflection of Your Worth

The first key takeaway is to see rejection as information, not as a judgment on who you are. When someone says "no" or doesn’t respond, it’s easy to spiral into thoughts like "I’m not good enough" or "I’ll never be successful." But the truth is, a no is just a no — it doesn’t define you or your value.

Whether it's a small no, like someone turning down your invitation, or a big no, like a breakup after years of dating, the feeling of rejection activates our default emotional patterns, which often involve self-criticism and despair. These patterns are automatic, but they are not the truth.

The Drama We Add to Rejection

When we face rejection, we often turn the experience into a dramatic story. The first step in reducing the sting is to acknowledge the drama we add to it. Often, when we hear "no," our minds jump to conclusions:

• “I’m not good enough.”
• “I’ll never be successful.”
• “Bad things will happen because of this rejection.”

These thoughts create a lot of emotional turmoil, but they are just our personal drama. Confidence is the ability to act without adding drama. It’s not about pretending to be invincible but about moving forward without letting the emotional charge of rejection take over.

Let Go of the Need for Rejection to Go Your Way

One of the most powerful ways to deflate the drama is to let go of the intense need for rejection to go a certain way. Rejection often hurts because we attach so much need to the outcome. For example, when you reach out to someone to be your friend or to date, you might think: “I need this person to like me” or “I need them to say yes, or else I’m unworthy.” But the truth is, you are okay whether they say yes or no.

When you feel the need for a certain outcome, it creates anxiety and desperation, which is felt by others and can create an aversion response. Instead, shift to a place of emotional neutrality — you want the connection, but you don’t need it to be okay.

Reframing Rejection with Compassion

To truly heal from rejection, you have to meet it with compassion. When you experience the sting of rejection, instead of beating yourself up, offer yourself deep empathy. For example, when you feel rejected, acknowledge the discomfort with self-compassion:

• "I know it feels like I need this connection right now."
• "But I can also be okay without it."

By practicing this, you’ll start to realize that your worth doesn’t depend on getting a "yes." In fact, you are enough just as you are, whether someone accepts you or not.

Practical Steps for Moving Through Rejection

Here’s a simple practice to help you move through rejection:

1. Focus on your body. When you feel rejection, check in with where you feel the tension in your body (it might be in your chest, stomach, or solar plexus).
2. Breathe into that tension. Gently place your hand on the tight spot and breathe deeply, softening the area.
3. Acknowledge the need. “I know it feels like I need this.” And then soften it with the truth: “But the deeper truth is, I’ll be okay either way.”

This practice can help you shift your emotional state and return to a place of peace and self-assurance.

You're More Than Rejection

Rejection doesn’t define your worth. You have the power to transform how you respond to rejection. The more you practice seeing rejection as neutral information, without adding drama or attaching your value to it, the more confident you’ll become in navigating life's ups and downs.

Remember: You are okay, no matter what happens.

Keep practicing, keep softening, and embrace each “no” as an opportunity to become more comfortable with yourself. In doing so, you’ll find that you’re not just surviving rejection, but thriving in your own emotional strength and resilience.

Rejection—it’s the sting we all dread. Whether you’re battling social anxiety, people-pleasing, or simply trying to navigate life’s challenges, the fear of rejection can keep you trapped. But what if you could take the sting out of rejection for good?

In this episode, we explore the hidden patterns behind our fear of rejection, why it feels so painful, and how it secretly shapes our lives. Aziz shares key insights from his recent virtual event, guiding you to uncover your default rejection pattern (DERP). This is the first step toward transforming your relationship with rejection and unlocking true freedom.

Stay tuned for part two, where we’ll dive into actionable tools to help you thrive in the face of rejection. Don’t miss this chance to reclaim your power and live boldly!

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Do you find yourself going to great lengths to avoid rejection? You may have learned, like many people with social anxiety, to keep a low profile—avoiding speaking up, not drawing attention to yourself, and staying under the radar just to avoid feeling rejected. But here's the truth: by avoiding rejection, you’re not really protecting yourself—you’re limiting your life. Today, let’s talk about how to take the sting out of rejection so you can move past the fear and boldly live your life, no matter what.

The Hidden Cost of Avoiding Rejection

When you’ve got social anxiety or you struggle with people-pleasing, the fear of rejection often controls your decisions. It’s not about actively getting rejected—it’s about keeping your life small so that rejection never happens. But here’s the problem: while you may be successfully avoiding outright rejection, you’re still feeling rejected on a deeper, emotional level.

You might feel unworthy, invisible, disconnected, or as if you’re missing out on life’s opportunities—even when no one has actually rejected you. This is the hidden cost of constantly avoiding rejection. It creates an emotional cage where you’re safe from the outward pain of rejection, but the inner pain of feeling unworthy or disconnected becomes your constant companion.

The Path Forward: Move Toward Rejection, Not Away From It

So, how do you break free from this trap? The key is to stop running away from rejection and instead move toward it. This doesn’t mean you should seek rejection on purpose, but it means you need to take the actions that align with your true desires—even if some rejection might happen along the way.

As hard as it is to hear, the reality is that rejection is inevitable if you want to truly live your life. The more you stretch out of your comfort zone—whether that’s putting yourself out there socially, expressing your opinion, or going after a career opportunity—the more likely you are to face some form of rejection. And that’s okay.

How to Take the Sting Out of Rejection: A Mindset Shift

To truly take the sting out of rejection, you have to change your relationship with it. It’s not about eliminating the bad feelings that come with rejection; it’s about understanding where those feelings come from and how you can respond to them differently.

1. Recognize the Default Pattern: When you face rejection, what’s your first reaction? For many, it’s an overwhelming sense of failure. You might think, “I’m unworthy,” or “This means I’ll never be good enough.” But these thoughts are part of a default pattern—a learned response that you’ve created over time.

2. Pause and Reflect: When you get rejected, instead of reacting with shame or self-criticism, take a moment to slow down. Reflect on your emotional response. What are you telling yourself about this rejection? Are you internalizing it as proof that you’re not good enough?

3. Use the Pain as a Reminder: Instead of letting rejection crush you, see it as a reminder to practice a new way of thinking. Just like I use physical pain as a reminder to practice self-care for my body, emotional pain from rejection can be a reminder to practice self-compassion. It's not about running away from the pain—it's about responding to it with care and understanding.

The Power of Persistence

One of the most powerful tools for overcoming the sting of rejection is gentle persistence. This means learning to persist after receiving a “no” without pushing past someone’s boundaries. Instead of quitting when you face rejection, take a moment to reframe the situation and ask, “What can I learn from this?” Maybe the rejection wasn’t personal. Maybe it wasn’t the right timing. But by persistently staying true to yourself and your desires, you’ll increase your chances of future success.

Take Action Now

If you're ready to start shifting your relationship with rejection, your action step today is simple: study your default response. When you experience rejection, what thoughts and feelings come up? Is there a story you tell yourself about your worth? Start writing down these responses and look for patterns. The more you study them, the less power they will have over you. This self-awareness is the first step toward freeing yourself from the sting of rejection.

Closing Thoughts: You Are Worthy

Remember, rejection doesn’t define your worth. It’s not about how others perceive you—it’s about how you perceive yourself. You have the power to change the way you respond to rejection, and by doing so, you’ll unlock a life full of connection, confidence, and courage. Keep practicing, and you’ll find that rejection doesn’t sting nearly as much as it used to. You’ve got this.