Preparing teenagers for adulthood might be the most crucial—and challenging—phase of parenthood. In this candid conversation, The Vallottons explore the essential transition from raising dependent children to launching capable, confident adults.

When parents focus solely on creating a fun and carefree childhood, they risk raising young adults unprepared for real responsibilities. Drawing from their experiences launching three young adults (now 25, 22, and 20) while still raising younger children, Jason and Lauren share both their successes and the lessons they’ve learned through missteps.

The key insight? Start early. Children who learn to contribute to family life from a young age develop a sense of capability that serves them well into adulthood. But for those who realize they’ve started later than ideal, Jason and Lauren offer practical strategies for reframing expectations with teenagers—positioning them not as arbitrary rules, but as essential preparation for their future independence.

This episode includes real-life examples from their own family, including the transformative story of their son who chose to move out one week before high school graduation. Rather than creating distance, this experience strengthened their relationship as he gained a newfound appreciation for the guidance he had once resisted.

The conversation also delves into the different approaches needed for raising sons versus daughters, teaching emotional regulation, and establishing standards for family interactions. Ultimately, successful parenting isn’t measured by how much children enjoy their childhood, but by how confidently they navigate adulthood.

Ready to shift your parenting approach from control to coaching? This episode provides the framework to help parents prepare their teenagers for a successful launch into independence.

💬 Join the conversation on Instagram: @jasonvallotton | @laurenvallotton

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
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Everyone has a past, but when it comes to relationships, how can someone be sure it no longer has a hold on their present? Whether in dating or marriage, navigating past mistakes, previous relationships, or personal struggles can be complex. How much should be shared, and when does transparency build trust versus causing unnecessary pain?

In this episode, Jason and Lauren Vallotton explore the balance between honesty and wisdom, discussing when full disclosure is valuable and when it may not be helpful. They break down how to recognize genuine healing, build trust, and have important conversations about the past in a way that strengthens relationships rather than creates insecurity.

Key Topics Discussed:

• How to discern if someone has truly moved on from their past
• The role of full disclosure in building trust
• When sharing past mistakes strengthens a relationship versus when it creates unnecessary harm
• How to navigate difficult conversations about previous relationships, personal struggles, or past wounds
• Signs of true healing versus patterns that indicate unresolved issues

Whether preparing for marriage, working through past hurts, or striving to build a foundation of trust, this episode provides insight and practical tools for moving forward in a healthy way.

Resources Mentioned:

• Episode 20 - A Plan for Pain, Part 1
• Episode 21 - A Plan for Pain, Part 2

For more conversations on relational health, subscribe to Dates, Mates, and Babies with the Vallottons and share this episode with someone who would benefit!

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
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Connect with Jason:
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In this insightful Q&A session, the Vallottons tackle questions submitted by listeners pertaining to marriage and friendship.

Questions include:

1. When I really like someone I feel like I can't think straight anymore. When I’m around them and start to act differently, and I hate it. What's your advice on that?

2. What to do with a man who is confusing with his intentions even after asking for clarity. He's nice and respectful, but I'm still confused.

3. What does "leaving and cleaving" actually mean? And what does it practically look like?

4. When is the right time in dating to ask someone if they want kids?

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
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Connect with Jason:
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Jay’s Facebook
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www.braveco.org

Episode 108 is a special treat! In this episode, the Vallottons share a powerful message that Lauren preached on February 20, 2025, at the Bethel Church Prophetic Conference. Rooted in her personal journey of motherhood and the shifting landscape of 2025, Lauren believes this moment marks the dawn of a new era—one defined by breakthrough for followers of Christ.

Drawing from the story of the Israelites’ journey to the Promised Land, Lauren unpacks how God invites us to trust, take risks, believe, hope, and contend for breakthrough—especially in the areas of our hearts where long-held desires have been waiting to be fulfilled.

She closes with a time of prayer, declaring breakthrough over those present at the conference. As you listen, receive these prayers for yourself—may they bring impartation, inspiration, and deep encouragement.

If you experience breakthrough after listening, the Vallottons would love to hear your testimony! Send them your story as they continue to celebrate and share what God is doing in this incredible community of listeners.

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
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Connect with Jason:
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Jay’s Facebook
BraveCo Instagram
www.braveco.org

In this episode of Dates, Mates, and Babies with the Vallottons, Jason and Lauren Vallotton explore how friendships impact marriage, parenting, and relational health. While friendships often take a backseat to family life, they are crucial in shaping emotional well-being and offering support.

As life gets busier with marriage and parenting, friendships are often neglected. However, research shows that maintaining strong friendships improves marital satisfaction and reduces parenting stress. Jason and Lauren discuss why intentional friendships matter and how to build a supportive community.

Discussion Points:

• Do Your Friendships Support or Strain Your Marriage?
  • Jason reflects on early marriage years when he let go of friendships that didn’t support his relationship.
  • Lauren shares how she invested in friendships to have connections in the same life season.
• The Changing Definition of a Support System
  • A survey of 2,000 parents with kids aged 0-6 found 78% believe the concept of a support "village" has changed from their upbringing.
  • Modern parents rely on an average of seven people for support, often leaning more on friendships than family.
  • Jason discusses how founding BraveCo helped him build relationships with men committed to personal growth.
• How a Lack of Friendships Impacts Emotional Connection in Marriage
  • Despite hardships, Jason’s strong friendships provided stability.
  • Lauren surrounds herself with women who invest in their marriages, reinforcing the importance of supportive friendships.
• The Importance of Same-Sex and Opposite-Sex Friendships in Marriage
  • Jason’s close friendships extend beyond traditional boundaries, such as walking Sum down the aisle.
  • Lauren highlights the security of knowing she has men in her life who would support her and her children.
• Friendships and Parenting: How Parents’ Friendships Shape Their Kids
  • Studies suggest strong friendships lead to happier marriages and lower stress in parenting.
  • Parents modeling healthy friendships significantly influence their children’s social development.
  • Jason and Lauren discuss ways to nurture friendships while raising a family.

Takeaways:

Strong friendships are essential for thriving marriages and healthy families. Jason and Lauren encourage listeners to assess their friendships, invest in meaningful connections, and recognize their profound influence on every aspect of life.

Tune in to this insightful conversation and learn how to strengthen your marriage and family life through intentional friendships!

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
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Connect with Jason:
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Jay’s Facebook
BraveCo Instagram
www.braveco.org

Blending a family is both rewarding and challenging, requiring intentionality, patience, and a strong foundation. In this episode of Dates, Mates, and Babies with the Vallottons, Lauren and Jason dive into the key strategies for creating a thriving blended family.

They discuss the importance of building trust with stepchildren, emphasizing that the biological parent should take the lead in discipline while the stepparent focuses on connection. They explore how to find your lane—leaning into natural strengths to foster strong relationships with the kids.

Common challenges in blended families are also addressed, including different parenting styles, loyalty conflicts, and emotional wounds from past relationships. Lauren and Jay break down how to navigate discipline and authority, ensuring unity between spouses without creating resentment.

The conversation highlights the importance of setting realistic expectations, recognizing that blending takes time and requires a united front. They stress that prioritizing the marriage is essential—not only for the couple but for the entire family dynamic. When the marriage is strong, children feel secure and receive the stability they need.

Finally, they tackle the complexities of co-parenting with ex-spouses, offering wisdom on handling interactions with grace and firm boundaries.

Whether you’re newly blending a family or years into the journey, this episode provides practical tools to build trust, navigate challenges, and create a home where everyone can thrive. Tune in for an insightful and encouraging discussion!

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
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Connect with Jason:
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Jay’s Facebook
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Description:
We’re back with Part 2 of one of our most vulnerable episodes yet—because some questions in marriage are too important to ignore. Last week, we unpacked some of the biggest fears that keep couples stuck, and today, we’re digging even deeper.

We’re talking about:
💬 Why does sex feel like an obligation instead of a connection?
👩‍👧 Why do I feel like the default parent while my spouse gets to "opt in" to parenting? (Spoiler: This isn’t just a struggle for women!)
💔 What if my marriage isn’t what I thought it would be, and it never will be?
😞 What if I’m the only one trying to fix our marriage?

Avoiding these questions won’t make them go away, but facing them can bring healing and clarity.

💡 Next Steps:
Healing doesn’t happen in a single conversation. That’s why we created Restore & Renew, a 6-week marriage intensive designed to help couples break free from disconnection and rebuild a joyful, resilient relationship.

👉 Click here to sign up and take the first step.

🎧 Listen now and start the conversation that could change everything.

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
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Connect with Jason:
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Jay’s Facebook
BraveCo Instagram
www.braveco.org

Description:
Some questions feel too big, too scary, or too painful to ask out loud—especially in marriage. But avoiding them doesn’t make them disappear. In this episode, the Vallotton's tackle the hardest, unspoken questions that can haunt relationships.

Jason and Lauren dive into topics like:
✅ Have we fallen out of love or are we just stuck in a rut?
✅ What if I’m not attracted to my partner anymore?
✅ Is it normal to feel lonely in my marriage?
✅ Can we ever repair the damage from past betrayals?

If you've ever felt afraid to voice your deepest relationship doubts, you’re not alone. These conversations could lead to real healing and change.

💡 Next Steps: True transformation takes intentional action. If you're ready to reconnect, heal, and build a resilient marriage, join our Restore & Renew 6-Week Intensive—a guided journey to help you and your partner rediscover joy and connection.

👉 Click here to sign up!

🎧 Listen now, then come back here week for Part 2!

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
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Facebook
Connect with Jason:
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Jay’s Facebook
BraveCo Instagram
www.braveco.org

In this episode of Dates, Mates, and Babies with the Vallottons, Lauren and Jason dive into one of the most profound questions parents face: What story do we want our kids to tell about love? Together, they unpack the meaning of true love, exploring how it can be demonstrated in everyday life and in relationships within the home.

Topics Covered
What is love and what is it not?

• We have love because it was given to us. It doesn’t start with us, it starts with God.
• Love is a powerful choice. 
• Love is patient, kind, etc. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

What does authentic love look like in relationships and in marriage?

• Real love requires a strong sense of self… we enjoy true love when we come fully ourselves into a relationship.
• It’s not the absence of conflict.
• Love looks like boundaries.
• Love looks like having the hard conversations, not abandoning yourself.

Love requires us to sacrifice and grow in areas that are costing the people we care for the most. Love says I lay things down that cause harm to those I care for the most.

Why This Matters
Our children’s perception of love starts with us. Through our words, actions, and how we treat those closest to us, we’re crafting a narrative that can either help or hinder their relationships in the future. Let’s make it a story worth telling!

Takeaway Thought
The story of love we live today becomes the legacy our children carry into tomorrow.

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
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Connect with Jason:
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Jay’s Facebook
BraveCo Instagram
www.braveco.org

In today’s episode of Dates, Mates, and Babies with the Vallottons, hosts Jason and Lauren Vallotton sit down with renowned psychoanalyst and author Erica Komisar to explore the profound challenges and rewards of parenting. Erica, a licensed clinical social worker (LCSW), brings years of expertise in child development and the psychological aspects of motherhood and fatherhood. She has authored two insightful books:

• Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters
• Chicken Little: The Sky Isn’t Falling

In this conversation, Erica highlights the crucial role emotional attachment plays in a child's development, particularly during the first three years. She discusses the importance of both mothers and fathers being present and emotionally available, as well as how societal pressures and guilt impact the way mothers show up for their families.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• The key ingredients for building a healthy attachment with your child, particularly in the first three years.
• Insights from Erica’s book Being There on the lasting impact of maternal presence during a child's formative years.
• Why father involvement is just as crucial as mothers in raising emotionally resilient children.
• How to address societal pressures, guilt, and the overwhelming demands placed on mothers today.
• The importance of staying engaged with your children throughout adolescence, even when they seem to need you less.

About Erica Komisar:
Erica Komisar is a licensed clinical social worker and psychoanalyst with extensive experience working in child development and parenting. She has authored two influential books, Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters and Chicken Little: The Sky Isn’t Falling. Her work emphasizes the emotional and psychological needs of children, focusing on the vital role parents play in shaping their children's emotional well-being. Erica's expertise has made her a sought-after speaker and resource for parents looking to navigate the challenges of raising children in today’s world.

Where to Find Erica Komisar:

She’s on Instagram. @ericakomisar
To learn more about Erica's work and upcoming events, visit her official website.

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
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Connect with Jason:
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Jay’s Facebook
BraveCo Instagram
www.braveco.org

What if the greatest battle you’re fighting isn’t with your spouse, your kids, or the world—but with yourself? On this episode, the Vallottons dive into the messiest parts of who we are—the stuff we shove aside but desperately need to face if we want to grow in life, faith, and relationships.

Jason and Lauren explore the significance of identifying your inner conflicts, the impact of your past experiences, and the role of seeking support in overcoming these hidden struggles. 

• Discussing personal experiences of battling inner conflicts 
• Understanding the significance of self-criticism and shame 
• Exploring the concept of the trauma tree and its visualizations 
• Identifying signs of an inner battle and unhealthy habits 
• The necessity of reaching out for help and building self-awareness 
• Sharing strategies for addressing and conquering internal struggles 

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
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Facebook
Connect with Jason:
Jay’s Instagram
Jay’s Facebook
BraveCo Instagram
www.braveco.org