If your life energy is strongly concentrated on another person and their dysfunctional behavior... and you believe you'd be happy if you could just make them change...and they haven't changed... and you fight about it -- *you* have a problem. Maybe they have a problem too, but *your* problem is that you’ve surrendered all your power to a person who is actually not acceptable to you. That is what codependency is. And If you don’t know the signs, I’ve got 20 of them to teach in this video.

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Many people affected by early trauma work HARD to heal, but don't get results. If you're ready to move forward and you're prepared to make changes that make healing easier, you'll want to hear this 4-video compilation where I share my best trauma healing tips.

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Limerence is an addiction-level romantic obsession with someone you can’t have. It can get so bad that you're checking out of reality, isolating and fantasizing that the person you love loves you back. It’s common in people who were emotionally neglected as kids, and it can rob you of any chance of truly loving someone and being loved in your life, because limerence takes up that space where anyone real, could really be with you. In this video, I respond to a follow-up letter from a man who wrote to me last year, immobilized with limerence. Now, his life is healing, and he shares how he did it.

The first letter from Daniel, "How Shame Drives You to Obsess on Someone You Can't Have": https://youtu.be/9XjJFLThpRw

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Hardly anyone understands this, but when you spend your life pursuing people who aren’t into you and won’t commit to you – guess who’s the avoidant? You are. Even though you’re devastated when they reject you and you pine away for them after it’s over, there’s something about the way you *know* it can never work out that sets you free to love without reservation. You can love deeply, but keep your options open, and never feel trapped. But you'll always feel grief, which may be wearing like a cozy blanket that keeps the cold wind of actual *choices* in your life away from you. *That* is avoidance. In this video, I respond to a letter from a woman who has done this for years, but now, the possibility of real love has appeared in her life.

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So many people are walking through life WANTING to solve problems of connection, and purpose and productivity and TRYING to do it. And they don’t even realize they’re doing this! But they’re holding their lives – and especially the PEOPLE in their lives – at arm's length. This is what I call “covert avoidance.” You LOOK like you’re engaged deeply with your life, but really? You’re distracted, you’re making plans and then canceling them, you’re setting goals and then wiping them from your mind, and you’re not being present for the people who are in your life – so everything stays shallow… Nothing goes anywhere. And you probably don’t even realize you’re doing it. In this video, I describe this common but hidden trauma symptom and teach you strategies to gently get free and connect once again with people and your life.

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If you want a loving, committed relationship, you may be undermining that by having no-love, no-commitment FWB relationships. You may have been conditioned to believe that filling your time with meaningless s*x was OK, until magically, the love of your life comes along -- that you could just ditch the empty relationship at that time, and happiness would follow. In this 4-video compilation, I share some of my most popular videos about the ways past trauma (and especially neglect in childhood) can leave you feeling ashamed and exhausted when it comes to needing love. Learn how to stop accepting crumbs and discover the powerful change that can take place immediately, making it possible for real love to find you at last.

Is Past Trauma Affecting Your Dating Life? Take the QUIZ: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3EUy8Yh

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It doesn’t matter what your avoidant partner tells you: If they are giving you the silent treatment – storming out, going AWOL for days or weeks at a time with no explanation, they are emotionally abusing you. And if you’re left feeling obsessed and frantic for little crumbs of communicaiton, I’m sending you a lifeline, to tell you – your trauma wounds have been activated, and from here on out, it’s going to be VERY hard to find any peace or happiness, unless the whole dynamic of your relationship changes. In this video, I respond to a letter from a woman who wants advice on how she can convince her partner.

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A pathological narcissist makes you feel like the most special person in the world, and then the next day, will discard you for the tiniest of reasons – and then they blame you. If you grew up with parents who sometimes cared for you and sometimes forgot about you – or blamed you, you may be especially vulnerable to this dizzy cycle with partners who idealize you, become emotionally abusive, and then throw you away. In this video, I respond to a letter from a woman who wants help understanding what happened, and how she can stop repeating this trauma-driven behavior.

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People talk a lot about being "trauma bonded" but most don't know what it means. They mistakenly think it’s when two traumatized people form a bond because they have that shared experience of trauma. And that happens, but that’s not what it means to be “trauma bonded.” In fact, the truth is much worse. Is this happening to you? In this video, I explain how trauma bonds develop, what the signs are that it's happening, and how to break free.

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Here’s the hard truth about trauma: Some of the things you didn’t get as a child, can’t be fixed directly. We can’t go back in time. We can’t be children again to receive the proper love and care we needed then. And we can’t save people we lost. But those of us with CPTSD CAN learn to fill our lives with love and support NOW, and start working on the triggers, and the distorted thinking, and the self-defeating behaviors that are the natural byproduct of trauma in your childhood. When you do, it changes your thinking, your relationships, and your capacity to recognize red-flag people (vs people who can truly love you back). In this 4-video compilation, I share four of my most popular videos about abandonment -- how it can control your life, and what to do to heal.

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You’ve probably heard this: The most common phobia in the world is public speaking. An estimated 75% of people experience anxiety when they have to speak in front of people. When you add a history of trauma into the mix, well – if you watch this channel, you’ve probably experienced it yourself. Speaking in front of groups can be paralyzing. My letter today is from a woman whose fear of public speaking is a huge block to her career and her sense of confidence.

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