This week I decided to re-release an old podcast episode from 2019 when me and Duane first interviewed Dr. Omar Minwalla. Since the time of this interview, Dr. Minwalla has expanded his model to include terms such as compulsive entitled sexuality and integrity abuse and I decided to re-introduce this initial interview to provide some context and understanding of where we are now and how we got here. The model referred to in this episode is an integral part of the Helping Couples Heal poly-theoretical approach to treating betrayal trauma.
In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie and Ilyse dive into the profound impact betrayal has on self-trust, exploring how infidelity and sex addiction can leave betrayed partners questioning their intuition, worth, and decision-making abilities. Together, they unpack the ways betrayal damages one’s ability to trust oneself and share actionable steps towards empowerment and self-trust. With empathy and expertise, they offer a compassionate guide to help listeners reconnect with their inner strength, rebuild confidence, and find their way back to themselves. Whether you’re navigating betrayal personally or supporting someone who is, this episode provides invaluable tools for healing.
This week I decided to re-release an episode from April 2023 when Duane and I interviewed Ted Bunch, the COO and co-Founder of A Call to Men.
Recently Helping Couples Heal has been focusing a great deal of attention on the topic of male socialization and male sexual entitlement. This interview with Ted provides an opportunity to further the conversation and facilitate a deep dive into the unhealthy psychology that fuels sex addiction and betrayal.
In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie talks about the importance of consistency in healing from betrayal. Marnie candidly and directly guides both betrayed partners and betrayers to develop an understanding of what consistently means in the context of betrayal and how the role consistently plays in helping couples heal.
In our last episode, Marnie talked about how to move forward after betrayal with a partner who refuses to provide safety, reassurance, consistency and active participation in the healing process. In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie and Ilyse continue the conversation, this time turning the focus to the betraying partner. Just as the betrayed partner has important life altering decisions to make, so does the person who caused the relational destruction. These decisions must be navigated in the spirit of a fierce commitment to truth and reality, both elements which were non-existent for the betrayed partner prior to discovery.
While both partners have difficult decisions to make in the aftermath of betrayal, the discussion of the betraying partner in this context is often neglected or dismissed. In this candid discussion, Marnie and Ilyse explore some hard questions including how can the betrayer even consider leaving a relationship after years of betrayal and deception and under what circumstances could it be the kindest and most honoring of the betrayed partner to make the decision to leave.
The Unchangeable Truth: We Can't Change Others
In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie talks about the pain and confusion that arises for couples when one partner is not doing the work to heal. She gently and compassionately addresses the hard truth that nobody can force another person to do recovery work, demonstrate empathy, tell the truth, change and/or heal. Using the metaphor of a bridge, we will explore the frustration and grief that accompanies the healing process, specifically when one partner isn't willing or able to cross the bridge together.
In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie talks to HCH coaches Susan and Scott Rankin, a husband and wife with their own story of relational betrayal and healing. Susan and Scott vulnerably share their journey of healing and rebuilding their relationship and open up about the painful impact the addiction had on their lives and their relationship and the path that led them back to themselves and each other.
Listeners will hear about the pivotal moments in their recovery journey, including the decision to seek therapy, the role of honesty and vulnerability, and the long, challenging process of rebuilding trust. Susan and Scott share the tools and resources that helped them, the support systems they leaned on, and the personal growth they each experienced.
This episode offers a powerful message of hope for anyone facing similar challenges, highlighting the possibility of healing and resilience even after the deepest wounds. Whether you're dealing with betrayal in your own life or simply seeking to understand the complexities of addiction and recovery in relationships, this conversation provides valuable insights and inspiration.
In this deeply personal and eye-opening episode, Marnie sits down with "Jess", who bravely shares her experience with pornography addiction. Jess discusses the roots of her addiction, the emotional and psychological impact it had on her life, and the challenges she faced in seeking help.
She opens up about the stigma surrounding female pornography addiction and the misconceptions that often prevent women from seeking the support they need.
Through her story, Jess sheds light on the recovery process, the strategies that helped her heal from pornography and sex addiction and the importance of self-compassion and community support.
This episode aims to break the silence on a taboo topic, offering hope and encouragement to others who may be struggling with similar issues. Join us for a candid and inspiring conversation that demonstrates the power of vulnerability and the possibility of healing.
In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie talks with her friend, colleague and author of the Complex Partner Trauma magazine, Hope Ray, about integrity abuse and betrayal violence. With compassion, Marnie and Hope have a brutally honest conversation about the power and control dynamics present in relationships where betrayal has occurred.
Recognizing and acknowledging abusive behaviors, especially those tied to deceptive sexuality, is a challenging but crucial step toward healing. It requires a deep level of self-awareness and honesty, as well as a willingness to confront difficult truths about one's actions and their impact on others. This process can be painful but is essential for personal growth and the restoration of trust and relationships.
In this episode of the helping couples heal podcast, Marnie speaks with Ilyse craft, Joni ogle and Stephanie roman about the complexity of finances and more specifically, in the aftermath of betrayal.
Navigating financial fears can be daunting, especially after betrayal. It's common to feel avoidant, but it's crucial to face these issues head-on to make informed decisions and move forward. There are options and plenty of support available to help you through this.
Our own issues and fears about money can often be what keep us feeling stuck.
Developing financial confidence is key to effectively handling financial matters.
Resources for the podcast notes and/or to reference
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Smart Women Finish Rich - David Bach
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Women with Money” The Judgment -Free Guide to Transforming your Relationship with Monday and Achieving Financial Independence - Vivi Robin and Joe Dominguez
Joni Ogle - Heights Treatment, Houston Texas
In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie talks with HCH President and betrayal trauma coach Ilyse Craft about the complexities partners face after experiencing betrayal, specifically the decision of whether to stay or leave their relationship.
Finding clarity about the future of a relationship traumatized by betrayal involves navigating a spectrum of emotions, from hurt and anger to confusion and doubt. Factors such as the history of the relationship, finances, the extent of the betrayal and the presence of children further complicate this decision-making process.
Each individual must weigh their emotional well-being against practical considerations, often seeking clarity over time as they contemplate the impact on their future and that of their family. This episode explores these multifaceted dynamics, shedding light on the complexities that partners face when grappling with the aftermath of betrayal.
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