Helping Couples Heal Podcast

Duane Osterlind & Marnie Breecker

  • 52 minutes 33 seconds
    49. A Call to Men with Ted Bunch [re-release]

    This week I decided to re-release an episode from April 2023 when Duane and I interviewed Ted Bunch, the COO and co-Founder of A Call to Men.


    Recently Helping Couples Heal has been focusing a great deal of attention on the topic of male socialization and male sexual entitlement. This interview with Ted provides an opportunity to further the conversation and facilitate a deep dive into the unhealthy psychology that fuels sex addiction and betrayal.

    1 November 2024, 9:15 pm
  • 17 minutes 24 seconds
    70. Consistently be Consistent

    In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie talks about the importance of consistency in healing from betrayal. Marnie candidly and directly guides both betrayed partners and betrayers to develop an understanding of what consistently means in the context of betrayal and how the role consistently plays in helping couples heal.  

    11 October 2024, 9:55 pm
  • 24 minutes 20 seconds
    69. After Betrayal: Moral and Ethical Decisions Beyond the Lies and Deception

    In our last episode, Marnie talked about how to move forward after betrayal with a partner who refuses to provide safety, reassurance, consistency and active participation in the healing process. In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie and Ilyse continue the conversation, this time turning the focus to the betraying partner. Just as the betrayed partner has important life altering decisions to make, so does the person who caused the relational destruction. These decisions must be navigated in the spirit of a fierce commitment to truth and reality, both elements which were non-existent for the betrayed partner prior to discovery.  


    While both partners have difficult decisions to make in the aftermath of betrayal, the discussion of the betraying partner in this context is often neglected or dismissed. In this candid discussion, Marnie and Ilyse explore some hard questions including how can the betrayer even consider leaving a relationship after years of betrayal and deception and under what circumstances could it be the kindest and most honoring of the betrayed partner to make the decision to leave.

    19 September 2024, 7:56 pm
  • 14 minutes 11 seconds
    68. The Unchangeable Truth: We Can't Change Others

    The Unchangeable Truth: We Can't Change Others

    In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie talks about the pain and confusion that arises for couples when one partner is not doing the work to heal. She gently and compassionately addresses the hard truth that nobody can force another person to do recovery work, demonstrate empathy, tell the truth, change and/or heal. Using the metaphor of a bridge, we will explore the frustration and grief that accompanies the healing process, specifically when one partner isn't willing or able to cross the bridge together.  

    2 September 2024, 4:00 pm
  • 1 hour 6 minutes
    67. Healing After Betrayal: One Couple's Story

    In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie talks to HCH coaches Susan and Scott Rankin, a husband and wife with their own story of relational betrayal and healing. Susan and Scott vulnerably share their journey of healing and rebuilding their relationship and open up about the painful impact the addiction had on their lives and their relationship and the path that led them back to themselves and each other.

    Listeners will hear about the pivotal moments in their recovery journey, including the decision to seek therapy, the role of honesty and vulnerability, and the long, challenging process of rebuilding trust. Susan and Scott share the tools and resources that helped them, the support systems they leaned on, and the personal growth they each experienced.

    This episode offers a powerful message of hope for anyone facing similar challenges, highlighting the possibility of healing and resilience even after the deepest wounds. Whether you're dealing with betrayal in your own life or simply seeking to understand the complexities of addiction and recovery in relationships, this conversation provides valuable insights and inspiration.

    22 August 2024, 9:02 pm
  • 40 minutes 12 seconds
    66. Breaking the Silence: A Woman's Journey Through Pornography Addiction

    In this deeply personal and eye-opening episode, Marnie sits down with "Jess", who bravely shares her experience with pornography addiction. Jess discusses the roots of her addiction, the emotional and psychological impact it had on her life, and the challenges she faced in seeking help.

    She opens up about the stigma surrounding female pornography addiction and the misconceptions that often prevent women from seeking the support they need.

    Through her story, Jess sheds light on the recovery process, the strategies that helped her heal from pornography and sex addiction and the importance of self-compassion and community support.

    This episode aims to break the silence on a taboo topic, offering hope and encouragement to others who may be struggling with similar issues. Join us for a candid and inspiring conversation that demonstrates the power of vulnerability and the possibility of healing.

    6 August 2024, 5:23 pm
  • 46 minutes 44 seconds
    65. Betrayal Violence with Hope Ray

    In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie talks with her friend, colleague and author of the Complex Partner Trauma magazine, Hope Ray, about integrity abuse and betrayal violence. With compassion, Marnie and Hope have a brutally honest conversation about the power and control dynamics present in relationships where betrayal has occurred.  


    Recognizing and acknowledging abusive behaviors, especially those tied to deceptive sexuality, is a challenging but crucial step toward healing. It requires a deep level of self-awareness and honesty, as well as a willingness to confront difficult truths about one's actions and their impact on others. This process can be painful but is essential for personal growth and the restoration of trust and relationships.

    24 July 2024, 6:20 pm
  • 43 minutes 36 seconds
    64. Financial Shame and Anxiety: Transforming fear to empowerment after betrayal

    In this episode of the helping couples heal podcast, Marnie speaks with Ilyse craft, Joni ogle and Stephanie roman about the complexity of finances and more specifically, in the aftermath of betrayal.

    Navigating financial fears can be daunting, especially after betrayal. It's common to feel avoidant, but it's crucial to face these issues head-on to make informed decisions and move forward. There are options and plenty of support available to help you through this.

    Our own issues and fears about money can often be what keep us feeling stuck.

    Developing financial confidence is key to effectively handling financial matters.


    Resources for the podcast notes and/or to reference

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    18 July 2024, 6:23 pm
  • 29 minutes 40 seconds
    63. Should I stay, or should I go? with Ilyse Craft

    In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie talks with HCH President and betrayal trauma coach Ilyse Craft about the complexities partners face after experiencing betrayal, specifically the decision of whether to stay or leave their relationship.


    Finding clarity about the future of a relationship traumatized by betrayal involves navigating a spectrum of emotions, from hurt and anger to confusion and doubt. Factors such as the history of the relationship, finances, the extent of the betrayal and the presence of children further complicate this decision-making process. 


    Each individual must weigh their emotional well-being against practical considerations, often seeking clarity over time as they contemplate the impact on their future and that of their family. This episode explores these multifaceted dynamics, shedding light on the complexities that partners face when grappling with the aftermath of betrayal.

    8 July 2024, 8:04 pm
  • 40 minutes 31 seconds
    62: Men and Shame

    In their final podcast episode together, Marnie and Duane talk about men and shame in the context of healing relationships after betrayal.

    14 June 2024, 7:26 pm
  • 51 minutes 2 seconds
    61: The Loss of Memories with Jake Porter

    In this special edition of the Helping Couples Heal podcast we are sharing Marnie's segment with Dr. Jake Porter at the Choose Connection Summit, discussing the loss of memories resulting from betrayal and integrity abuse.


    If you're facing the trauma and impact of betrayal, you will likely relate to what you'll hear. Take a listen to how the grief and loss is described by both the betrayed and the betrayer and the difference between their experience.

    20 May 2024, 9:59 pm
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