Our first-ever live show (at San Francisco’s Sketchfest comedy festival) is action-packed! Stand-up comedian Alexandria Love is delightful as our guest, even after we trigger her severe frog phobia; Yas announces that she’s expecting a baby girl; Dara’s dad takes the stage to improvise a song in the style of Marvin Gaye; and audience members share embarrassing stories about freelance finances gone awry.

Along with all the excitement, we dish out facts about some places where the cash is greener on the freelance side of the fence—as well as some places it’s not. And Yas (now a freelancer herself) shares her tactics for avoiding spending all “your” money (oops—taxes!). Whether you’re already your own boss or just thinking about it, you’re sure to enjoy this episode’s comedic jousting—as well as its historical and literary references to jousting!

Links mentioned in this episode:

Freelancers Union study

Alexandria’s website

Alexandria’s Twitter

Happy holidays, everybody! Dara and Yas are here with a lil’ shorty ep to share some exciting pod news as well as a couple tips for making it through this time of year without all your money going . First up, the ladies announce they’ll be doing a live show at San Francisco Sketchfest “next year” (A.K.A. 1/18/2020—that’s some sleepover humor for you, tee-hee!!). Grab your free tickets now at mhhpod.com/sketchfest!

We’ve also got Yasmine’s ideas on how to smooth out your holiday expenses, and Dara’s advice for how to secure your funds if your wallet gets snatched like hers just was (don’t worry, there’s a happy ending! Shout out to Good Samaritans!). Keep your ears peeled for that live episode dropping to this feed in early 2020, happy Kwanzaa, and till next time, “Shut up and eat!!”

Links mentioned in this episode:

• Money Ha Ha at SF Sketchfest
• Should I Lock or Freeze My Credit File?

Sometimes we all need to take a break, indulge, and have new experiences. That’s what vacations are all about. This week’s guest is here to talk to us about how she vacations like a grown up: without debt! Erin Ryan is a writer for It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia and host of the Hysteria podcast. She shares how saving up for her dream trip to the Himalayas taught her that she can have great new experiences, as long as she’s financially disciplined beforehand. Pro tip: when you go out for drinks, never go to a second location!

Dara, Yas and Erin also talk about celebrating when you punch debt in the face, the most expensive manicure in the history of the world, the most expensive pajama pants on a plane, and the miraculous glory that is carnitas made in an Instant Pot. We also learn that Erin gets a thrill from saving and good things happen to her when Mercury is in retrograde. Seriously, who is this woman? We loved having her on the show and you’ll love this episode. If not, no worries, you’re just not invited to our cult.

Full Transcript

Links mentioned in this episode:

• Nerd Wallet: How to save for vacation, w vacation calculator
• Erin on Twitter

It’s hot in the Bay, and so many of us are already sweatin’ to make ends meet every month. This week’s expert guest is here to give us perspective. Rachel Schneider followed the money stories of hundreds of Americans as part of co-authoring The Financial Diaries. She breaks down why so many of us find ourselves needing to borrow money from time to time, and how hidden inequality and generational wealth privilege play their part in that.

Dara, Yas and Rachel talk about the common traps people fall into when it comes to short-term borrowing, how sometimes it feels like institutions make decisions for us, and slumber parties! “Leviosa!” is the new “light as a feather, stiff as a board,” mkay? So get light, unburden yourself, and consider balancing personal responsibility with holding policy makers accountable for making sure wages keep up with the rising cost of living. Leviosa!

Full Transcript

Links mentioned in this episode:

• U.S. Financial Diaries
  • Buy the book
• Federal Reserve Report
• Rachel on Twitter

Health care costs are a quadruple-whammy: They’re expensive, they’re confusing, they’re communicated in a way that can make you feel powerless, and they come at a time when you’re extra vulnerable—because you’re sick! This week’s guest, writer/actor/improviser Erin Whitehead, is no stranger to the wild and woolly land of out-of-network costs. Based on the tales of woe she and Dara + Yasmine share in the no-judgement zone, should our motto for medical expenses be “Abandon hope”??

“Heck, no!” say Dara and Yasmine. They clear up some of the kooky terms you see on your bills, fill you in on your rights, and give you a game plan for staying in control of costs. Plus, Yas confesses the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel techniques she used on her husband, we ponder whether Daenerys sniffed her baby dragons’ heads, and Dara compares Yas to a (cute) potato—twice.

Full Transcript

Links mentioned in this episode:

• CNBC: The much higher costs of 'out-of-network' health care
• CNBC: Four steps to fight off high medical expenses
• The College Investor: The ultimate guide to disputing a medical bill and reducing your payment
• Erin on Twitter
• Erin on Instagram

With their great big eyes and sweet little bellies (that we want to drum on), children are designed to make us love them—and spend money on them! Mom and actor Christina Elmore (Insecure) joins us this week to share how her finances have changed since she had her (super cute–check out her Insta) little boy. Though not yet moms themselves, Dara and Yas reminisce about how expensive they were as kids, and how their parents got revenge by putting them in the hardest math classes.

As always, we ground things in facts by sharing the top expenses that come with children, as well as the total amount they cost per year—get ready to gasp just a little. Though the price tag of traditional parenthood briefly gets us dreaming of moving to Waco, TX, and becoming sister wives, Christina ends things on a positive note by reassuring people who want to become parents that they can do it.

Full Transcript

Links mentioned in this episode:

• USDA: Expenditures on Children by Families, 2015
• USDA: The Cost of Raising a Child
• Christina on Twitter

Whether well-meaning or not, bad financial advice can mess you up, and this week’s guest is having none of it! Self-styled “financial hype woman” Berna Anat (@heyberna to her scads of followers) stops by Studio Ha this week to teach us how to tell good financial tips from bad. When we’re in that vulnerable place of not-knowing, it’s tempting to swallow whatever advice we’re told just so we can “scurry back in the hole.” But with a few pointers from Berna and a whole lot of common sense, it’s not hard to pick out the good and avoid the too-good-to-be-true.

It’s not all shop talk—your Leo and Taurus co-hosts (can you guess who’s who?) get into astrology with our Scorpio guest, and Yasmine explains her theory about how Bitcoin is a secret robot plot. Long-time listeners will appreciate Dara’s story about encountering an iguana “in the wild” (on the subway). And finally, Berna shouts out some of her favorite sources for good financial advice at the end of the ep—so get your follow finger ready!

Full Transcript

Links mentioned in this episode:

• Berna on Instagram
• Berna on YouTube
• Berna on Twitter
• heyberna.com
• Dara’s show, Amazonians
• Dara’s stand-up calendar
• Tiffany the Budgetnista
• Journey to Launch
• Bitches Get Riches
• #moneymemes

Fresh from riffing her way straight through a 7.1-magnitude earthquake that tried to interrupt her stand-up set, our guest Atsuko Okatsuka can conquer anything—including this week’s topic, bank fees! Together we break down the types of fees you’re probably getting charged, how much they’re costing you, and how they like to multiply like bunnies—especially when those unpredictable “pending” transactions start racking up the overdrafts.

We start light with talk of Barbies and race cars, but end intense with a request that you sign a pact in blood. Along the way, Atsuko fantasizes about bank executives gorging themselves on Red Lobster, and Dara gets accused of surfing the dark web in search of a Red Lobster biscuit. We wouldn’t leave you without a solid action item, and you get to choose how to do it: call up your bank and “ask a few nice questions”—or deliberately keep them on the phone for several hours as a form of righteous revenge, like Yasmine would. Get ready, Customer Support!

Full Transcript

Links mentioned in this episode:

• Atsuko’s earthquake set
• NerdWallet article on average checking account fees
• Miami Herald op ed about overdrafts
• The CFPB’s research on overdrafts
• NerdWallet list of the most consumer-friendly checking accounts
• Atsuko on Twitter
• Atsuko on Instagram
• Let’s Go Atsuko! A (woke) Japanese Game Show

Money Ha Ha is about bringing money talk out of the shame drawer and onto the table, and this week we’re opening up that drawer (or bag, or box—everyone’s system is different) to discuss why we keep stuffing our unopened bills in there: financial avoidance. This week comedian Danielle Perez invites us into her L.A. home to chat about why our brains don’t like to go to the scary money place, and how we can tempt them to at least pay it a visit.

Don’t avoid this episode, cause we’ve got Danielle’s re-telling of her viral appearance on The Price is Right, a special duet between Yasmine and Dara’s mom, not one but two stomach-turning anecdotes about overdue dental work, and a full-on Girl, Interrupted moment. Plus, once you go on Yasmine’s guided “mind journey” into your financial future (light a candle first!), we bet you’ll discover things aren’t as bad as you’ve built them up to be.

Links mentioned in this episode:

• APA: Face the numbers: Moving beyond financial denial
• Danielle’s “The Price Is Right” video
• Danielle on Twitter
• Danielle on Instagram
• Thedanielleperez.com

Comedian/writer/actor Matt Lieb joined Dara and Yasmine to talk about all the stuff you have to shell out for when you move. Though some costs of moving are unavoidable (like that new shower curtain!), this resourceful crew turns you on to a number of money-saving measures, from light cat burglary (cheaper than a locksmith) to guilting sympathetic strangers into lugging your heavy stuff up the stairs.

In an especially philosophical episode, the group ponders questions such as where the butt begins, what “beyond the pale” means, and why moving food must always be pizza. As always, we leave you with some tips you can definitely use about how to budget for your next move so that there aren’t any nasty surprises—until the property manager cuts down your hedge.

Full Transcript

Links mentioned in this episode:

• Business Insider: “16 Hidden Costs of Moving”
• U.S. News & World Report: “The Real Cost of Moving”
• Matt Lieb on Twitter
• Matt Lieb on Instagram
• Newsbroke

Comedy writer and podcast co-host Heather Anne Campbell (The Twilight Zone, How Did This Get Played?) joins Dara and Yas this week to talk about the privilege of growing up with money. The group shares experiences from both sides of the wealth privilege spectrum—from driving a car purchased for $1, to “failing up” by being sent to private school as punishment—and how those experiences shaped how they see themselves today.

Though the stats on how your family’s wealth (or lack thereof) affects your prospects as an adult get pretty grim, the ladies end up thinking you don’t have to be discouraged, and offer some tips on how to own your story so that it inspires yourself and others. We also hear about Yas’s grandmother’s “candy boobs,” put out a plea for everyone to re-watch the movie Clue, and learn that both co-hosts have purchased special tools for cutting their own hair.

Full Transcript

Links mentioned in this episode:

• “Finance Podcasts We Love” by Simple
• Heather's "Rich Parents" video
• “Rich Kids Stay Rich, Poor Kids Stay Poor” by fivethirtyeight.com
• National Center for Education Statistics, "Postsecondary Attainment: Differences by Socioeconomic Status" (2015)
• Socioeconomic Status" (2015)
• Heather’s podcast How Did This Get Played?