Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Rick Hanson, Ph.D., Forrest Hanson

  • 52 minutes 43 seconds
    How to Create a Secure Relationship with Elizabeth Ferreira

    Somatic trauma therapist Elizabeth Ferreira joins Forrest to explore how we can create more secure relationships. They talk about the lessons they've learned from their relationship, the impact of trauma and prior relationship wounds, and how very different people can make things work. Topics include complex PTSD, how to work through disagreements, changing our model of relationships, and learning how to actually support your partner.

    I loved this conversation, and hope you enjoy it!

    You can watch this episode on YouTube.

    Key Topics: 

    0:00: Introduction

    1:10: The myth of relationships solving your problems, and self-awareness

    4:25: Me, you, and us

    13:45: Changing your partner by changing yourself

    16:45: Embracing the challenges of vulnerability

    23:25: Disagreeing well, making specific requests, and holding space

    33:05: Learning how to support your partner

    37:40: Five different styles of relationship

    40:55: Moving from trying to please your partner to showing compassion

    45:15: Love as a choice, and expressing wants and needs positively

    49:30: Simply liking your partner

    I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. 

    Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

    Sponsors

    Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

    If you’re navigating something messy, call The Dr. John Delony Show. Dr. John shares practical advice on how to connect with people, face depression, overcome anxiety, and learn what it means to be well. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. 

    Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.

    OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co

    Connect with the show:

    10 June 2024, 10:00 am
  • 1 hour 8 minutes
    Becoming Self-Confident, Learning Healthy Relationship Skills, and Trusting Yourself: June Mailbag

    Dr. Rick and Forrest open up the mailbag and answer questions from listeners. They explore how to deal with chronically negative people, managing avoidant tendencies that get in the way of us finding a great relationship, and separating normal desires for support from more problematic ones. They then talk about how we can build self-confidence and become more internally referenced, before closing the episode with a sticky situation involving supporting an aging parent. 

    If you’d like to send in a question to be answered on the podcast, join our Patreon or email us at [email protected].

    You can watch this episode on YouTube.

    Key Topics: 

    0:00: Introduction

    1:00: My friend is chronically negative, what can I do?

    13:05: How can I move past a cycle of avoidance that’s inhibiting my ability to find a good relationship?

    26:05: I want to be supported by my partner, but I’m worried about becoming enmeshed. How can I seek help in a healthy way?

    39:30: How do I stop seeking validation from others?

    45:20: How do I react to ongoing criticism from an aging parent?

    58:15: Recap

    I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. 

    Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

    Sponsors

    Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

    If you’re navigating something messy, call The Dr. John Delony Show. Dr. John shares practical advice on how to connect with people, face depression, overcome anxiety, and learn what it means to be well. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. 

    Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.

    OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co

    Connect with the show:

    3 June 2024, 10:00 am
  • 1 hour 21 minutes
    The Psychology of Manifesting: How to Create the Life You Want

    Forrest and Dr. Rick explore “manifesting:” the idea that our thoughts impact the world around us, and by changing those thoughts we can change our lives. Talking about manifesting is complicated, because on the one hand our thoughts really do matter. On the other, manifesting is closely tied to a small mountain of problematic pseudoscience. They discuss and debate some of the issues with manifesting and the law of attraction before focusing on how to apply key psychological principles to create the life you want. 

    Rick and Forrest talk about creating clarity around our goals, setting intentions, improving self-worth and self-efficacy, and overcoming some of the negative unconscious beliefs that can get in our way, before exploring authenticity, consistent effort, and working with fear and inhibition. Then Rick closes the episode by walking us through a practical example of how to change a belief.

    You can watch this episode on YouTube.

    Key Topics:

    0:00: Introduction

    3:00: Defining manifestation, and separating psychological and supernatural mechanisms of action

    6:55: The mind-body connection, and the psychological aspects of manifesting

    15:50: Charlatanism, preying on uncertainty, and the problems with the law of attraction

    25:20: Changing behavior vs. changing thoughts, and the lure of the supernatural

    32:10: If you want to skip the context, start here.

    32:35: Getting what we subconsciously believe we are worthy of, and “don’t know” mind

    38:50: Identifying wants, surrendering to the best within us, and using pain as a guide

    48:55: Embracing the reality of consistent effort

    54:55: How to change a negative belief

    1:08:10: Recap

    I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. 

    Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

    Sponsors

    Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

    If you’re navigating something messy, call The Dr. John Delony Show. Dr. John shares practical advice on how to connect with people, face depression, overcome anxiety, and learn what it means to be well. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. 

    Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.

    OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co

    Connect with the show:

    27 May 2024, 10:00 am
  • 1 hour 17 minutes
    Understanding the “Flight” Response: Anxiety, Avoidance, and Feeling Safe

    Dr. Rick and Forrest discuss the “flight” response to stress, which includes feelings of anxiety and fear, avoidant behavior, and an underlying sense of insecurity. They explore the emotions and behaviors associated with the flight response, and how we can build up a stronger, more secure sense of who we are. Rick shares some practical tools that will help you change your self-concept, safely apply principles from graduated exposure, and feel safer from the inside-out.

    I’ve loved this series on the stress responses, and think you’ll get a lot out of this episode.

    You can watch this episode on YouTube.

    Key Topics:

    0:00: Introduction

    1:00: The purpose of the flight response, and when it is and isn’t useful

    5:35: Social withdrawal, conflict avoidance, and preserving safety vs. comfort

    12:15: The trouble with low likelihood, high-cost risks

    16:35: Exploring our capacity for stress, and identifying the risks worth taking

    26:30: Feeling “sturdy,” and why we choose the flight response vs. other stress responses

    33:30: Graduated exposure 

    39:05: Learning to trust our new capabilities as we change

    44:50: Overdoing a change as a form of self-sabotage, and reserving the power to flee

    54:25: Responding to anxiety

    1:01:40: Being present with painful situations we can’t escape

    1:08:40: Recap

    I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. 

    Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

    Sponsors

    Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

    If you’re navigating something messy, call The Dr. John Delony Show. Dr. John shares practical advice on how to connect with people, face depression, overcome anxiety, and learn what it means to be well. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. 

    Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.

    OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co

    Connect with the show:

    20 May 2024, 10:00 am
  • 1 hour 8 minutes
    Managing The “Fight” Response: Anger, Repression, and Self-Regulation

    Dr. Rick and Forrest continue their series on the stress responses with the “fight” response to stress. They explore anger, repression, and the balance of self-expression and self-regulation before talking about how we can claim the adaptive aspects of the fight response without falling prey to its more problematic aspects. A major focus of the episode is resentment and repression, alongside related topics like empowering yourself, managing expectations, and “experiencing out.”

    You can watch this episode on YouTube.

    Key Topics:

    0:00: Introduction

    1:15: The useful aspects of anger

    5:40: Specific behaviors associated with the fight response

    8:35: Giving yourself permission to express anger

    13:40: Navigating resentment

    21:40: Thwarted expectations as a source of unhealthy anger

    32:05: Claiming your anger, and being wary of its seductive nature

    35:45: Developing an authentic sense of empowerment

    39:45: Going from complaint to request

    43:30: Antidotes to unhealthy anger

    52:40: Challenging authority without feeling intimidated or shamed

    54:20: When we’re angry at ourselves

    59:00: Recap

    I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. 

    Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

    Sponsors

    Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

    If you’re navigating something messy, call The Dr. John Delony Show. Dr. John shares practical advice on how to connect with people, face depression, overcome anxiety, and learn what it means to be well. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. 

    Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.

    OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.

    Connect with the show:

    13 May 2024, 10:00 am
  • 1 hour 32 minutes
    Everything You Need to Know About Therapy

    In this mega-episode, clinical psychologist Dr. Rick Hanson and Forrest Hanson explore everything you need to know about therapy. They share how you can get more from therapy, finding the approach that’s right for you, and some perspectives on why therapy is so expensive. They then run through the five major schools of Western psychotherapy before discussing a few alternative modalities. You’ll learn how long to stick with a therapist before looking for alternatives, questions to ask a prospective therapist, and how to maximize your results.

    You can watch this episode on YouTube.

    Key Topics:

    0:00: Introduction

    1:40: The biggest factors that contribute to therapy going well

    7:25: Finding the therapeutic modality that works for you

    14:00: The cost of therapy, and the problem created by insurance companies

    20:35: The five major schools of western psychotherapy

    21:20: Psychodynamic therapy, and investigating the unconscious

    23:20: Behavioral therapy, and variable reinforcement

    25:55: Humanistic psychology, and seeing the good in yourself

    29:05: Cognitive therapy, why insurance companies like CBT, and exploring our beliefs

    36:15: Mindfulness-based therapies, and being with our experiences

    41:15: Family systems therapy, social justice, somatic therapy, and non-Western thinking

    46:20: The differences (and similarities) between therapy and coaching

    52:40: How long therapy should take, and how to evaluate if it’s working

    1:02:15: The role of client motivation 

    1:04:55: Questions to ask a prospective therapist

    1:10:15: The importance of the therapist’s engagement

    1:12:50: Common qualities Rick found challenging with past clients

    1:16:05: The importance of internalizing change, and recognizing what’s really shifting

    1:21:20: Recap

    Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. 

    Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

    Sponsors

    Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

    If you’re navigating something messy, call The Dr. John Delony Show. Dr. John shares practical advice on how to connect with people, face depression, overcome anxiety, and learn what it means to be well. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. 

    Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.

    OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co

    Connect with the show:

    6 May 2024, 10:00 am
  • 57 minutes 37 seconds
    Healing After Trauma with Dr. Peter Levine

    Somatic psychology legend Dr. Peter Levine joins Dr. Rick and Forrest to explore how we can use body-based approaches to recover from traumatic experiences. Peter uses his personal history with trauma to illustrate the practices he’s taught to thousands of people through his work. They discuss the importance of resourcing experiences, creating safety, developing interoception, abandonment wounds, bringing a diverse perspective to somatic work, and working with shame. 

    Please be aware that this episode includes a description of sexual assault.

    About our Guest: Dr. Peter Levine is the creator of Somatic Experiencing and the Founder and President of the Ergos Institute for Somatic Education. He’s taught at a number of universities, has received Lifetime Achievement awards from numerous organizations, and is the best-selling author of several books, including Waking the Tiger, Healing Trauma, and his most recent book An Autobiography of Trauma: A Healing Journey.

    You can watch this episode on YouTube.

    Key Topics:

    0:00: Introduction

    2:15: Peter’s dream about publishing his recent book

    6:40: Themes connecting the personal and professional for Peter

    10:15: Physicalization, pendulation, and decontextualization of trauma

    16:15: Presence with others, and moving gently into shame to move through it

    20:55: The fundamental view that we our innately healthy, and completing the arc

    23:05: When the prompt “feel it in your body” doesn’t work

    28:15: Advice for when you don’t have access to therapy or a SEP practitioner

    30:35: Tenderness

    34:30: Anchoring in the here and now when accessing past memories

    39:35: Conceiving of yourself as a source of safety

    43:30: Generating your own internal wellbeing

    46:20: Acknowledging the reality of your history, patience, and completion

    49:45: Living by dying

    52:15: Recap

    Offer from Dr. Rick: If you'd like to improve your self-worth, check out Rick's new 4-hour, live online workshop. You'll learn methods and practices that can actually change your brain and your habits, so you start nurturing your sense of worth and belonging. Our listeners can get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20: https://selfworthworkshop.com/

    Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. 

    Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

    Sponsors

    If you’re navigating something messy, call The Dr. John Delony Show. Dr. John shares practical advice on how to connect with people, face depression, overcome anxiety, and learn what it means to be well. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. 

    Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.

    Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

    OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.

    Connect with the show:

    29 April 2024, 10:00 am
  • 1 hour 9 minutes
    Recovering from a Challenging Childhood: Reclaim, Resupply, and Repair

    Dr. Rick and Forrest explore a huge topic: what can we do to recover from a difficult childhood as an adult? Rick introduces a three step process that can help us reclaim our past, identify the key needs we have these days, and internalize related positive experiences. They discuss related tools from psychology like releasing repressed emotions, claiming agency where we can, and changing what we emphasize in the story of our lives. If you had a hard time growing up, this one’s for you.

    You can watch this episode on YouTube.

    Key Topics:

    0:00: Introduction

    1:40: Recovering from childhood wounds - Reclaim, Resupply, and Repair

    7:00: Clarifying your personal narrative, and the importance of agency

    12:25: How the unmet needs from your past impacts your present

    18:25: Changing what we emphasize in the story we tell ourselves

    28:50: Letting the fizz out of the bottle

    32:20: Identifying the right medicine for your unresolved wounds 

    38:00: How developing competency helps you break free from your past

    41:50: Self-soothing through envisioning positive experiences

    45:00: The process of letting go of the childhood you wish you had

    57:50: Naming what you want from life, and the universal ground of being

    1:02:00: Recap 

    Offer from Dr. Rick: If you'd like to improve your self-worth, check out Rick's new 4-hour, live online workshop. You'll learn methods and practices that can actually change your brain and your habits, so you start nurturing your sense of worth and belonging. Our listeners can get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20: https://selfworthworkshop.com/

    Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. 

    Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

    Sponsors

    Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

    Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. 

    Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.

    Visit airdoctorpro.com and use promo code BEING to receive up to $300 off air purifiers! When you use our code, you’ll also receive a free 3-year warranty on any unit, an $84 value

    Connect with the show:

    22 April 2024, 10:00 am
  • 1 hour 18 minutes
    Dealing with Emotionally Immature People (and Parents) with Dr. Lindsay Gibson

    Dr. Lindsay Gibson joins the podcast to share her groundbreaking work on emotional maturity. Forrest and Dr. Gibson explore how growing up with emotionally immature caregivers can affect our adult relationships, and what we can do to recover from these experiences, build healthier patterns, and disentangle from emotionally immature people. They start by discussing what emotional immaturity means, some of its key characteristics, and the consequences of growing up with emotionally immature parents. They then talk about how we can move away from “role-self” and develop a deeper connection with who we really are. You’ll learn practical tools for recognizing emotionally immature people, managing your relationships with them effectively, and establishing healthy boundaries.

    About our Guest: Dr. Lindsay Gibson is a clinical psychologist and the author of a number of books including Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents and Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People. Her most recent work is the Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents Guided Journal.

    You can watch this episode on YouTube.

    Topics:

    0:00: Introduction

    1:20: What is emotional immaturity?

    7:25: Affective realism and involuntary coping mechanisms

    14:00: An example of a childhood with emotionally immature caregivers

    18:50: The “role-self,” and how children respond to a parent’s lack of empathy

    25:15: Receiving guidance from the authentic self

    29:25: How the role-self affects relationships in adulthood

    41:25: Healthier relationships by connecting with the authentic self

    50:10: Letting go of healing fantasies in adult relationships

    56:10: Guilt, emotional coercion, fear of loneliness, and finding optimal distance

    1:02:55: How to identify with yourself as a secure base

    1:06:20: Recap

    Offer from Dr. Rick: If you'd like to improve your self-worth, check out Rick's new 4-hour, live online workshop. You'll learn methods and practices that can actually change your brain and your habits, so you start nurturing your sense of worth and belonging. Our listeners can get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20: https://selfworthworkshop.com/

    Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. 

    Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

    Sponsors

    Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

    Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. 

    Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.

    Visit airdoctorpro.com and use promo code BEING to receive up to $300 off air purifiers! When you use our code, you’ll also receive a free 3-year warranty on any unit, an $84 value

    Connect with the show:

    15 April 2024, 10:00 am
  • 1 hour 16 minutes
    How to Make the Most of Your 20s with Dr. Meg Jay

    Twentysomethings are bombarded with misinformation, hype, and contradictory messages that pull them in many different directions. Dr. Meg Jay, a specialist on what she calls the “defining decade,” joins Forrest to explore how we can navigate this transformative and often anxiety-provoking time in our lives. They discuss the biggest misunderstandings about our 20s, balancing having fun with setting yourself up for the future, and common mental health issues. Topics include the pitfalls of self-diagnosis, creating a strong self-concept and building identity capital, dealing with burnout, strengthening our relationships, and more. 

    About our Guest: Dr. Meg Jay is a developmental clinical psychologist who specializes in twentysomethings. She is on faculty at the University of Virginia, and is the author of a number of wonderful books, including The Defining Decade and her new book The Twentysomething Treatment: A Revolutionary Remedy for an Uncertain Age.

    You can watch this episode on YouTube.

    Key Topics:

    0:00: Introduction

    1:20: The biggest misunderstanding about life in your 20s

    4:55: Uncertainty, and becoming confident in our abilities

    8:30: Nihilism about the current state of the world

    14:50: Self-diagnosis, social media, and over medication

    23:25: The “strength of weak ties”

    27:20: Self-concept and identity capital

    30:30: What helps people take action

    34:15: Navigating avoidance and anxiety

    41:55: Finding evidence that you’re capable of being loved

    46:35: What to do you when you feel stuck

    49:20: How to choose purpose

    58:55: Advice to people who feel like they messed up their 20s

    1:04:45: Recap

    Offer from Dr. Rick: If you'd like to improve your self-worth, check out Rick's new 4-hour, live online workshop. You'll learn methods and practices that can actually change your brain and your habits, so you start nurturing your sense of worth and belonging. Our listeners can get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20: https://selfworthworkshop.com/

    Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. 

    Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

    Sponsors

    Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

    Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.

    Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. 

    OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.

    Connect with the show:

    8 April 2024, 10:00 am
  • 1 hour 13 minutes
    Managing the Freeze Response: Dissociation, Emotional Shutdown, and Creating Safety

     What do dissociation, avoidance, and emotional shutdown all have in common? They’re connected to the “freeze” response to stress. In one of our favorite episodes to date, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore the freeze response in detail. 

    They talk about what stress responses are, how they impact our behavior, and why different people tend to default to different coping strategies. Forrest explains what freezing looks like in practice, and why the freeze response can be particularly difficult to navigate. Dr. Rick then shares a number of helpful strategies for working with the freeze response, including strengthening self-confidence, and the feeling of ourselves as someone who can create safety. Towards the end of the episode they discuss managing these tendencies in a relationship.

    You can watch this episode on YouTube.

    Key Topics:

    0:00: Introduction 

    1:15: Understanding stress responses

    9:05: Stress responses in relationship

    15:25: Why it's hard to see that you're freezing

    19:05: Dissociation, and what freezing looks like in practice

    23:55: Steps of moving through dissociation

    30:05: Self-awareness, ‘global’ conditioning, and unconditional positive regard

    38:10: How Rick would work with someone who freezes: a hypothetical case study

    53:45: Seeing yourself as a source of safety

    1:02:55: Recap

    Offer from Dr. Rick: If you'd like to improve your self-worth, check out Rick's new 4-hour, live online workshop. You'll learn methods and practices that can actually change your brain and your habits, so you start nurturing your sense of worth and belonging. Our listeners can get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20: https://selfworthworkshop.com/

    Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. 

    Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

    Sponsors

    OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co

    Get your stand on with UPLIFT Desk! Go to UPLIFT Desk.com/BEINGWELL for 5% off your order of one of their fantastic standing desks or office products.

    Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. 

    Connect with the show:

    1 April 2024, 10:00 am
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