Do you remember what it was like falling in “like” with your spouse? 

What was it that originally drew you to them? Maybe it was their humor, kindness, or how they made you feel seen and appreciated.

Over time, it's easy for that “like” to fade. 

Instead, criticism, judgment, or even indifference creeps in. 

But imagine being in your spouse’s shoes—everything they say and do, examined under a magnifying glass, critiqued and picked apart. That kind of scrutiny doesn’t help them thrive. And nothing wounds deeper than feeling that the person you chose, the one closest to you, doesn’t actually like you.

What if, instead, you accepted their weaknesses and quirks? After all, they have them, and so do you. 

What if you chose to see their strengths instead? What if you noticed what they’re doing right and spoke it out loud?

I want to encourage you to take that step.

Scripture is clear about encouragement and loving our neighbors:

“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NIV)

“Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” Matthew 22:37-39 (NIV)

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves” Philippians 2:3 (NIV)

“Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.” Romans 12:10 (ESV)

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Ephesians 4:2 (NIV)

Your spouse needs to know that you see the good in them. That you still like them. That you’re rooting for them, not against them. It’s amazing what a little grace and encouragement can do to rebuild connection and joy.

This Christmas week, I invite you to be gracious with your spouse. Notice the small things—their kindness, their effort, their dedication—and let them know you see it. Accept their weaknesses, support them gently, and call out the good that God has placed in them.

God bless you, and from all of us here at Delight Your Marriage, Merry Christmas!

Love,

Belah & Team

PS - If you want to learn more about how to love your closest neighbor well, we would love to chat with you. Click the link to schedule a FREE Clarity Call: delightym.com/cc

PPS - The third installment of our Pre-Marriage series, the Pre-Wedding Workbook, is available now! We hope this book blesses you and sets you on the path to a peaceful, playful, passionate, and purposeful marriage! Check it out here: Pre-Wedding Workbook

Change is possible.

We are honored to be able to share Pat’s story with you today.

After years of therapy and struggling with a porn addiction, Pat felt hopeless. He had done all he knew to do, yet there was still a hole in his heart—and in his marriage.

But Pat decided to take a courageous step of faith. After years of being a listener to the podcast, he made the call, and through the Masculinity Reclaimed program, he finally found what he had been searching for: true community and lasting change.

Surrounded by other men who were pursuing God and committed to loving their wives well, Pat finally found a community that felt safe enough to let his guard down. He began applying what he learned through the MR program, growing closer to God and putting in the work to heal his marriage.

And the results? His wife noticed the change, telling him, “It’s good to see the man I married back.” Pat himself shared that the hole he once felt in his marriage is now gone. Praise God!

We hope Pat’s journey inspires you and reminds you that change is possible—and it begins with you.

God bless you!

Love,

Belah & Team

PS - If you want to learn more about this community and our Masculinity Reclaimed program, we would love to talk with you: delightym.com/cc PPS - Less than a week away, our Pre-Wedding Workbook is releasing December 18th on Amazon! We are so excited to get this book to you and hope it blesses you immensely!

How do you prioritize your life?

This episode is for our lovely wives in the audience.

Dear wives, life can feel like a never-ending whirlwind. Maybe right now you’re juggling errands, picking up your kids, or running around doing everything for everyone else. It’s easy to get caught up in all the demands, isn’t it?

But let’s pause for a moment and think about what God has asked us to prioritize. When Jesus was asked about the greatest commandment, His response was crystal clear:

“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”

Here’s something worth reflecting on—have you neglected your closest neighbor?

Your husband is your closest neighbor. He’s the one God has entrusted to you. The one you’re called to love as yourself—not just love, but love in a way that truly meets his unique needs.

It’s not about doing it all perfectly. It’s about leaning into curiosity and compassion. What if you remembered your husband is a brother in Christ? What if you began to discover and appreciate how God intentionally designed him—even the aspects you might not fully understand, like his sex drive? It’s all part of God’s good and purposeful plan.

In this episode, we’ll explore how God designed men (all the way from the beginning to now!), why their design matters, and how to love them in a way that speaks to their heart. It’s not about fixing him or changing him but learning to support and honor the way God made him.

I pray that as you listen, your perspective will shift. That you’ll see your husband with fresh eyes—eyes of grace, compassion, and discovery. Let this be a reminder to focus on loving your first neighbor well, just as God calls us to do.

God bless you!

Love,

Belah & Team

PS - If this episode resonated with you and you want to learn more about how to truly love your first neighbor well, we would love to chat with you: delightym.com/cc

PPS - Mark your calendar: The Pre-Wedding Workbook is releasing December 18th on Amazon! We cannot wait to get this workbook into your hands and hope it proves to be a great blessing to you and those around you. Stay tuned!

It’s so easy to feel the disconnect in your marriage and wonder if things can ever truly align.

Stu’s story is a beautiful reminder that transformation is possible.

Stu grew up feeling socially awkward and unsure about the purpose of marriage. After marrying his wonderful wife Linda and after 20 years of marriage, he still found himself asking, “How do I understand her?” and “How do I connect with her?” He described their relationship as feeling like “misaligned velcro.”

But instead of staying stuck, Stu decided to take a step of faith. Through the Delight Your Marriage program, he learned practical tools like the CIRQUE listening technique, which he called “revolutionary.” He discovered how to be prayerful and playful and he not only deepened his relationship with Linda but also grew closer to Christ.

Today, Stu says he and Linda are “perfectly aligned.” Praise God!

We hope Stu’s story inspires you to believe that change is possible. It’s possible to break free from feelings of disconnection. It’s possible to learn how to love your spouse in ways that make them feel cherished. And it’s possible for God to completely transform your marriage and your life.

God bless you!

Love, 

Belah & Team

PS - If you are interested in taking the Marital Health Assessment that Stu mentions in this episode, you can find it here: https://delightyourmarriage.com/health/

PPS - If you want to participate in our FREE Masculinity Reclaimed Foundations Course, please check out this link: delightym.com/mrf

 

Let’s set the scene-

You’ve planned the perfect evening.

A Friday night—date night.

You and your wife are dressed to the nines. There’s a show, a fantastic dinner, and deep conversation that reconnects your hearts.

But then you arrive back home…

What are you hoping will happen next?

Here’s the truth: that unspoken hope—your expectation—might be doing more harm than you realize.

When a husband subconsciously expects intimacy, it can feel like pressure to his wife.

And that pressure? It makes her withdraw. Intimacy begins to feel transactional—like something she owes you, a “reward” for good effort, rather than a mutual outpouring of love.

In fact, the more you expect it, the less she’ll desire it.

So, how do you break free from this pattern and draw her closer instead?

Here are three key ideas:

1. Drop the expectations & be content in your life (find true contentment in life by letting God satisfy you in many ways)

2. Share your feelings more with your wife (She needs emotional connection in order to be open to physical intimacy)

3. Think strategically about your marriage (You’re intentional about your career, your goals—why not your marriage?)

In today’s episode, we unpack these three steps and explore how to release the pressure of expectations, discover fulfillment outside of intimacy (even when sex isn’t in the picture) [We highly recommend you checking out Ep. 417: Re-sensitize Your Pleasure for more on this topic], and create a marriage that’s full of joy, connection, and God-honoring pleasure.

We believe God when he said he meant for couples to be “one flesh”. And we believe that he created intimacy to be unifying, satisfying, and connecting heart, soul, and body.

We hope this episode brings a new perspective and new joy, intimacy, and connection into your marriage.

 

God bless you!

 

Belah & Team

 

PS - If this episode resonates with you, we highly recommend signing up for our FREE Masculinity Reclaimed Foundations Course at delightym.com/mrf.

PPS - Here is a quote from a recent MRF graduate:

"We were emotionally, intimately, and spiritually disconnected. We lived in the same house but didn't live together. I was angry and bitter, critical of everything, and judgmental. I hated that about myself. [Now,] My wife and I are closer than we have ever been! She has a glow. It's crazy how much we love each other. Life is fun! I can't stand to be without her. Glory to God!”

We know that intimacy is an integral part of married life. 

But what happens when that intimacy… isn’t happening? 

You’ve tried to explain, you’ve tried to give your point of view, you’ve even tried to give pointers, and still… nothing.

What can you do?

 

At Delight Your Marriage, we have developed a framework for what men and women need in order to feel loved and thrive in their marriages and, in turn, move towards intimacy. When these things are missing from a marriage, it can often cause bitterness, resentment, and can lead to months, even years, of lack of intimacy, physical or otherwise.

Here is what we have determined the framework to be:

What Women Need:

1. To be safe

2. To be known

3. To be whole-heartedly cherished

What Men Need:

1. To be respected

2. To be admired

3. To have whole-heartedly sexual intimacy

When these key elements are missing- everything else crumbles. If you are reading (or listening) and wondering why your spouse has not initiated intimacy or why they shut down initiations - look back to this list. Are you giving this to your spouse? We hope today’s episode will bless you as we shed some light on this topic, expand on the ‘why’ behind these needs, and give practical ways on how to implement this framework - not only for the goal of physical intimacy, but for the goal of having a thriving and beautiful marriage.

We are rooting for you!

 

God bless,

 

Belah & Team

 

PS - To check out the Marital Health Assessment mentioned in this episode, visit https://delightyourmarriage.com/mhac/

PPS - If you are wanting to grow in your marriage and learn exactly how to implement this framework (and get support while you do it!), we would love to talk to you. https://delightyourmarriage.com/cc

We are so glad to be able to share a re-release episode with you this week! My husband, Dario, joins us again and he, as always, has some words of encouragement for you. We hope this episode does indeed encourage you and bless you!

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Nov. 11, 2021

Don’t give up. 

My goal today is to encourage you. You’re doing a really good job. Just by tuning in, you’re winning.

You’re seeking to love your spouse well, even when it doesn’t look like it matters. 

You’re seeking to do God’s will in the midst of your circumstances. 

My husband is on the show today because he’s the best encourager that I know. And I want you to hear from him how much he wants you to know, you’re on the right path, you’re doing the right thing, and I am proud of you. 

Love,

Belah

PS – If you need help right away, get with a Clarity Advisor to see how we can help you: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

PPS – If you have yet to check out our free stuff — do so here! delightyourmarriage.com/free

It’s so easy to focus on the weaknesses of your spouse. 

In fact, it’s one of the easiest things to do when you think of them, but if you can imagine being in your spouse’s shoes, everything you say and do, picked apart and looked at under a magnifying glass… That doesn’t help them live their best life and thrive. 

I invite you to instead accept your spouse‘s weaknesses. They have them. You have them. And look instead at their strengths. Notice what they’re doing right and comment on it.

Today. I’m joined by my husband, Dario, who is an amazing father and amazing husband. I’m very honored to walk this road of life alongside him. But he sees me at my very worst and he accepts those weaknesses, but he also supports me in them. So, like many of you, I can be on my screen too much or not want to go to sleep on time amongst other weaknesses… And my husband is so gracious, gentle, but also responsible to help me do what I need to do to live my best for God.

I invite you to support your spouse and their weaknesses, but also really focus on their strengths and help them to realize the good that God has placed in them. I hope even this weekend you will have more grace for your spouse and focus on the good in them. 

 

God bless you! 

 

Love, 

 

Belah

We’re thrilled to share Craig’s story with you today.

For years, Craig and his wife were stuck in a painful cycle—“You always ____,” “You never _____”—both keeping score, building walls of resentment, and matching hurt with hurt. Things seemed like they’d never change.

Then, a friend from church mentioned the transformation he had experienced through Delight Your Marriage. Craig was skeptical at first, but as the months passed, he couldn’t deny the remarkable shift in his friend’s life. That’s when Craig decided to take the first step and schedule a Clarity Call.

What surprised him most was that the change didn’t come from trying to fix his wife—it started with him. Within the first month, Craig embraced a new way of showing up: becoming “quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.” Through his own transformation, the marriage began to heal.

Today, Craig shares with joy that his children will never have to grow up in a divided home. The family tree will remain unbroken, with a straight and strong trunk—thanks to the tools, community, and growth Craig found through our program.

We hope Craig’s story reminds you that change is possible. It’s possible to break free from arguments. It’s possible to experience peace and joy in your marriage. And it’s possible for God to rewrite your story in ways you never imagined.

We believe in you, and we are cheering you on.

Love,

Belah & Team

PS - If you want a change in your marriage like Craig had, with no more arguing and no more resentment, we would love to talk with you. Check out our free Clarity Call here: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

 

PPS - Check out this testimonial from (another) recent graduate:

“My wife had her mind pretty much set on divorce. She said she had an upcoming meeting with an attorney when I first joined the program. My stress level was up, my appetite was pretty much nothing, and I couldn't sleep. [After MR}, I have grown spiritually, mentally, and feel more whole as a person. My wife and I have come to a place in our marriage where it used to be, like when we first got married. We are happy to be around each other again, can't wait to see each other at the end of the day, and have more connected conversations again.”

We have the honor and privilege of sharing Lindsay's Transformation Story today.

For years, she struggled with the pain of infidelity, unsure if she could ever trust her husband again. But when her husband decided to join the Masculinity Reclaimed program, the changes she saw in him stirred something in her heart. That’s when she reached out, booked a free Clarity Call, and joined the Delighted Wife program. 

Through God’s grace, their marriage has been completely transformed. Moments once marked by tension and fear have been replaced by playfulness and peace. She has rediscovered the joy of being with her husband, and together they are experiencing a marriage that has truly been redeemed by the Lord.

We give all the glory to God for this incredible renewal. Time and time again, He proves that no situation is beyond His redemption.

If you’ve felt hopeless about your marriage, let this story remind you that there is truly no relationship too far gone for Him to redeem. 

Love,

Belah & Team

 

PS - If you want to try our free Clarity Call like Lindsay did and talk with one of our Clarity Advisors, we would love to chat with you: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

PPS - Here is a quote from a recent graduate: “Seven years ago, my husband began a 3 year affair with an employee… After a separation in our own home we each began our own counseling... After 4 years of marriage counseling and feeling stuck in a marriage that was barely hanging on, I discovered your program. I found hope for my marriage and began to see my husband in a different light.

I was ready to quit, I had considered divorce. [Now], I am able to appreciate the small things my husband does, I am able to give compliments which he appreciates. I am practicing vulnerability and playfulness!... It’s changed the way I see my husband.”

Today’s episode is an incredible story of God‘s transformative power.

From a man who started out broken and lonely, with a history he wasn’t proud of, God was able to take his little seed of faith, his little seed of hope that just maybe something could change for him, too.

He decided to sign up for a free Clarity Call, and then to join our program. He went through the program once on his own.

Eventually, his wife saw some changes in him and decided that she wanted to do the work to heal from their past. 

Ultimately, they both did the program at the same time, and praise the Lord, they are completely renewed and restored.

You would not believe the description that Jim gives of their marriage today. He said that it’s the way he always dreamed marriage could be.

I hope this gives you encouragement, that you too, can have a marriage rescue no matter the past. God can redeem.

If you’d like our help, we’d love to help you on a free Clarity Call. Delightyourmarriage.com/cc 

 

Love,

Belah & Team

 

PS There IS hope, dear one! Healing is what Jesus does! Bring it to Him and ask for His touch. Our programs can help with the healing process and equip you with the tools. Jesus does the rest! Take that step of faith...delightyourmarriage.com/cc.

 

From someone who did:

"Celebrating making it to 12 weeks when I thought I wouldn’t make the course at all... GOD is great! ...Loving my husband again after infidelity on both sides - never in my wildest dreams did I think it was possible to find that love again and so quickly. The peace God has bestowed upon my marriage, life, house, and children since walking through this course... I love life and am dreaming again because God has brought healing to my marriage. It’s like all the stop buttons that were pushed because I was out of alignment with God’s will in my marriage have been pushed to GO/GREEN again and I feel more aligned, more focused, and things are moving again."