“The areas that we struggle with the most, where we feel maybe we’re the hardest on ourselves, or the most stuck… these are actually potentials for really building a strong foundation with your recovery.” [20:47]

In this episode of Women In-Depth, Lourdes speaks with Mari Grande about the Mother Wound and the impact of trauma on Daughters of Critical Mothers. By addressing this trauma clients can break the cycle and turn inward to heal and be soothed.

Mari speaks about the trauma that Daughters of Critical Mothers experience and the ways in which clients and therapists can recognize and begin to address the trauma of the Mother Wound. Listen as Lourdes and Mari discuss the various ways that this trauma can impact women; and how Mari and other therapists work to help their clients to heal.

In this episode you will learn:

• Mari’s inspiration for working with Daughters of Critical Mothers and the Mother Wound [4:30]
• What makes clients who are Daughters of Critical Mothers unique from other clients with trauma [8:40]
• Indicators that a woman has had a disruptive relationship with her mother [14:10]
• Considerations for therapists who work with Daughters of Critical Mothers [21:35]
• Mari’s words of wisdom for Daughters of Critical Mothers [29:01]
• The numerous resources Mari offers [30:00]

Mari Grande is a New York-based Creative Arts Therapist, Clinical Social Worker, Thought Leader, Educator, and Coach. With over 20 years of experience, Mari works with clients to creatively heal their trauma, with particular attention to the Mother Wound. She uses a multi-modal approach incorporating art therapy, guided meditation, and somatic therapy in her practice. Mari has developed many resources, such as courses and modules, to help both men and women to heal from trauma.

Resources:

Mari’s therapy website: https://marigrande.com/; Mari is licensed in New York, New Jersey, Florida, and California.

Mari’s website for courses, programs, modules, and many more resources: https://www.creativehealingintegration.com/

And coming soon, a support group for clinicians who work with Daughters of Critical Mothers.  Click here to learn more!

Related Women In-Depth Episodes:

Episode 21:  Healing the Mother Wound with Bethany Webster

Episode 128:  Healing the Mother Wound:  A Foundation for a Better World

“[Dissociation] can happen with anything that is overwhelming or intense and I think it is important, especially to those who are highly sensitive, to be aware of because it’s not just perceived danger or a lot of anxiety or stress. It can be something very positive that you actually want.” [9:20] 

In this episode of Women In-Depth, Lourdes Viado and Carmen Schmidt Benedetti continue their podcast series on Complex Trauma and Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs). Today’s episode explores the coping mechanism of dissociation, diving into what it is, what causes it, and potentially how to avoid and combat dissociation.  

Dissociation is a common coping mechanism for many people, but can be harmful for people who are HSPs and have experienced complex trauma in their lives. Listen as Lourdes and Carmen shed light on the signs of dissociation and possible tools to help keep you present. 

In this episode you will learn: 

• What is dissociation? [3:33] 
• Why do we experience dissociation? [4:30] 
• Biological responses that cause dissociation. [9:50] 
• The continuum of dissociation. [11:35] 

• How to distinguish between dissociation and anxiety, stress, or overwhelm. [17:15] 
• Ways to cope with and respond to dissociation. [28:22] 

Dr. Lourdes Viado is a psychotherapist for anxious and overwhelmed highly sensitive women in Las Vegas, Nevada.  She is a Myers-Briggs Typology Indicator (MBTI) Certified Practitioner and integrates Jungian psychology, mindfulness, neuroscience, and astrology into her work with clients.  She is also the host of the Women In-Depth Podcast: Conversations about the Inner Lives of Women, which has been downloaded over 450,000x in 107 countries. 

Carmen Schmidt Benedetti is a psychotherapist for highly sensitive womxn in Sonoma County, California. She helps them to heal layers of unrecognized childhood trauma and create calm, balance and stability in their life. As a Certified EMDR therapist, Carmen guides adults in reframing their past from an empowered perspective, coming to believe they are ‘good enough’ and their needs and feelings matter 

Resources: 

Lourdes’ website: https://lourdesviado.com/ 

Carmen’s website: https://carmenschmidtmft.com/  

Pete Walker, Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving 

“The body never lies and that is the truth.”  

In this episode of Women In-Depth, Lourdes Viado speaks with Tara Galeano about the journey of women rediscovering and reconnecting with their bodies. By building a more solid relationship with themselves, women are able to improve the quality of their relationship with others.  

Tara focuses not only on sex, but the universal reconnection of women to their bodies, who have so often experienced a disconnection in many ways. Listen as Lourdes and Tara discuss how true intimacy with oneself and, to a degree, selfishness allows women to have more agency over themselves and their bodies. 

In this episode you will learn: 

• Tara’s inspiration for her book [4:42] 

• What is “true intimacy” [14] 
• The initial steps in the journey of discovering your body [24] 
• How trauma is addressed in rediscovering and reconnecting to the body [27:40] 
• Tara’s words of wisdom [33:05] 

Tara Galeano is a sex therapist, sexual empowerment coach, and author of Rediscovering My Body. Tara has been working for over 20 years helping women get their sexy back. From her own experiences and years of professional knowledge, Tara aids women in reconnecting with their bodies and selves as well as reclaiming their own sexuality. 

Resources: 

Tara’s book Rediscovering My Body is available wherever books are sold.  

Tara’s website: rediscoveringmybody.com  

9 Week Masterclass, June 15th-August 17th, 2021: For women who want to reconnect to themselves sexually, intimately, and completely but want to space it out over a few weeks. https://rediscoveringmybody.mykajabi.com/rediscovering-my-body-a-9-week-virtual-masterclass 

3 Day Virtual Retreat on June 18-20, 2021 A journey to reconnect with yourself and your partner intimately and completely. https://rediscoveringmybody.mykajabi.com/rediscovering-my-body-3%20Day-Virtual-Couples-Solstice-Retreat  

“A large part of the work of The Mind-Body Stress Reset is coming to understand how important those sensations that run through your body are - coming to value them. I think we are a culture that overvalues our thinking-self and undervalues our feeling-self.” [51:10] 

In this episode, Dr. Lourdes Viado speaks with Rebekkah LaDyne about mind-body somatic approaches. Rebekkah discusses how and why exercising and teaching your body ways to respond to anxiety, stress, and trauma are effective tools for your mind-body well-being.   

Listen as Rebekkah emphasizes the importance of the feeling-self and the body as tools for self-regulation for individuals who are not benefiting from practices solely focusing on the thinking-self and the mind.  

In this episode you will learn: 

• Rebekkah LaDyne’s personal and professional inspiration for her book. [3:04] 
• How the amygdala, mid frontal cortex, and prefrontal cortex function in times of extreme stress, anxiety, and trauma. [11:30] 
• What a somatic approach is. [22:47] 
• Different approaches to self-regulation using both mind and body approaches. [27:40] 
• How to recognize when certain approaches to stress and trauma are unhelpful. [39:20] 
• What the window of tolerance is and how it can inform which type of therapeutic approach is best suited for you. [46:42] 

Rebekkah LaDyne, MS, SEP, is a practicing Somatic Therapist and Researcher and author of The Mind-Body Stress Reset: Somatic Practices to Reduce Overwhelm and Increase Well-Being. Focusing on trauma and dysregulation, Rebecca’s work has centered on wellness of the mind-body in the face of anxiety, stress, as well as overwhelm and development trauma. She earned her Master’s degree from Saybrook University in Mind-Body Medicine and practices mind-body well-being and wellness with the integration of somatic approaches.  

Resources: 

Rebekkah’s website: www.rebekkahladyne.com or http://www.thismindfullife.info/ 

The Mind-Body Stress Reset: Somatic Practices to Reduce Overwhelm and Increase Well-Being by Rebekkah LaDyne is available anywhere books are sold. 

This episode of Women In-Depth features Dr. Tracy Packiam Alloway, an award-winning psychologist who has conducted extensive research on memory and the brain. In this conversation Dr. Alloway discusses her recent book “Think Like a Girl:  10 Unique Strengths of a Woman’s Brain and How to Make Them Work for You.”  

Dr. Alloway has authored 15 books and over 100 scientific articles and has been featured on BBC, Good Morning America, the Today Show, Forbes, Bloomberg, The Washington Post, Newsweek, and many others. She’s also a consultant for documentaries, ABC/NBC and the CW affiliates,  AMC TV, and the World Bank.

Topics discussed in this episode: 

• Some myths about women’s brains (4:26)
• How women make decisions under stress (7:07)
• How sticking your hand in a bucket of ice can help you make a less emotional decision (8:38)
• The surprising research about the lies women tell (11:10)
• How the women’s way of thinking is a creative superpower (15:18)

Resources:

Tracy’s website: https://www.tracyalloway.com/ 

Tracy’s book “Think Like a Girl”: https://www.zondervan.com/p/think-like-a-girl/#purchasenow

This episode of Women In-Depth features Arianna Smith, EMDR Clinician and Licensed Professional Counselor. She helps Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs) and LGBTQ individuals process childhood trauma, recover from abusive relationships, and release the cycle of constant people pleasing.  Based out of Denver, Colorado, Arianna is a psychotherapist by day and copywriter by night and she supports fellow healers to craft the right words that showcase their passion, personality and expertise so they can have a practice filled with dream clients.  

Topics discussed in this episode:  

• Differentiating between an abusive and toxic relationship (5:13) 
• Common experiences for those in abusive or toxic relationships (16:08) 
• How prior trauma can make someone more vulnerable to an abusive or toxic relationship (25:54) 
• “Trauma glasses” and their impact on those who have gotten out of a abusive or toxic relationship (27:38) 
• The importance of compassion and healing for those who grew up with abuse or trauma (29:35) 
• The intersection between HSPs and abusive or toxic relationships (32:47) 
• DOES:: Depth of processing, Overstimulation or Overwhelm, Emotional reactivity or Empathy, Sensing of Subtleties (34:04) 
• The hope and recovery on the other side of an abusive or toxic relationship (44:14)  
• The importance of safety, support, and education for those in abusive or toxic relationships (46:30) 

Resources: 

Arianna’s website: https://quietmooncounseling.com/  

National Hotline for Domestic Violence  

telephone: 1.800.799.7233 

website:  https://www.thehotline.org/  

The Relationship Bill of Rights: https://www.morethantwo.com/relationshipbillofrights.html  

This episode of Women In-Depth features Dr. Pearl Gregor. Pearl began studying dreams in 1988. By 2015, widowed, retired, and having finished her doctorate, she created her website: www.dreamsalongtheway.com. In December 2018, she published “I, the Woman, Planted the Tree: A Journey through Dreams to the Feminine,” followed by two more books and a memoir.

Topics discussed in this episode: 

• What is the search for the divine feminine? (3:15)
• The Myth of Inanna  (5:09)
• How Pearl’s journey in and out of depression brought her to dreamwork (12:34)
• How working with myth & archetype helps anchor you (14:38)
• The work of relearning to hear our inner voice (17:34)
• How the word “feminine” has been distorted (19:52)
• Jung’s process for individuation (28:23)
• Benefits of dreamwork for those in therapy (30:08)
• Nightmares are an unexamined letter from the self (40:05)

Resources:

Pearl’s website: https://dreamsalongtheway.com/author/pearl/ 

Pearl’s books: https://dreamsalongtheway.com/books/ 

Carol Crist’s website: https://www.goddessariadne.org/ 

Daniel Kalsched’s website: https://www.donaldkalsched.com/

This episode of Women In-Depth features Bronwyn Shiffer, LCSW, a psychotherapist from Madison, Wisconsin who works with highly sensitive women struggling with depression. Bronwyn supports women who want to feel more strong, connected and comfortable in their own skin. She has a Masters of Social Work from Smith College School for Social Work and believes that personal transformation is what heals the world. 

Topics discussed in this episode: 

• What it means to be highly sensitive (2:03)
• How Bronwyn was drawn to working with highly sensitive women (5:52)
• How depression can mirror the experiences of a highly sensitive person (HSP) (6:52)
• The importance and value in creating space for grief and depression (8:55)
• What is depression and how it shows up for HSPs (9:23)
• The characteristics specific to the HSP brain and their impact on HSPs (15:25)
• How HSPs feel deeply the full range of emotions and the experience of being human (16:47)
• The challenges of an HSP in discerning and disentangling from other’s emotions (17:52)
• The differences in an HSP’s experience of recovering and healing from depression (18:55)
• The importance of seeking out an HSP-informed therapist when you are a HSP (19:47)
• Tips to help HSPs manage the trait (27:31)
• The benefits of being an HSP (37:37)

Resources:

Bronwyn’s website: https://www.bronwynshiffertherapy.com/  

Bronwyn’s blog post on how to find a therapist: https://www.bronwynshiffertherapy.com/blog/how-to-find-a-therapist 

Bronwyn’s blog post on asking yourself what you need: 

https://www.bronwynshiffertherapy.com/blog/self-care-needs 

Dr. Elain Aron’s website: https://hsperson.com/ 

Donna Eden’s website: https://edenenergymedicine.com/ 

In this episode of Women In-Depth, Bridgit Dengel Gaspard, LCSW, shares why, despite preparation, resources, knowledge, and support, we sometimes fail to achieve our goals. While Bridgit specifically discusses being stuck in relation to larger life goals, her work also applies to other ways we are stuck in our lives. 

She is the author of “The Final 8th: Enlist Your Inner Selves to Accomplish Your Goals,” and the founder of the New York Voice Dialogue Institute. Bridgit received her MSW from Columbia University and teaches in numerous professional settings, including the Omega Institute. She lives in New York City where she maintains a thriving private practice. You can connect with her through her website or find her on Youtube, Instagram, Facebook or Twitter.

Topics discussed in this episode: 

• Inner Selves and the idea of multiple ego states with competing agendas (2:54)
• The Final 8th: failing inside a victory  (3:29) 
• Developing a direct relationship with our inner selves (5:06)
• How our early childhood influences our inner selves (5:35)
• The gifts of our inner selves (6:08)
• Using Voice Dialogue to listen and communicate with our inner selves (6:52)
• How our inner selves to protect us from vulnerability (16:52)
• The importance of processing grief (18:36)
• Approaching our inner selves with compassion and curiosity (19:22)
• Gifts of our hidden selves (23:56)
• The power of the Blameography Exercise (25:03)
• The challenge of the double bind or twisted loyalties (28:48)
• Developing the ability to let go of a goal (30:26)
• Practicing safe success (33:01)

Resources:

Bridgit’s website: http://www.bridgit-dengel-gaspard.com/ 

Bridgit’s book: The Final 8th: Enlist Your Inner Selves to Accomplish Your Goals

Bridgit’s free Voice Dialogue Zoom Shop on the 3rd Thursday of the month: https://www.final8th.com/ 

In this episode of Women In-Depth, Lourdes Viado  & Carmen Schmidt Benedetti continue their podcast series on Complex Trauma and Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs).  Today they discuss where our anxiety comes from and why it matters.

Dr. Lourdes Viado is a psychotherapist for anxious and overwhelmed highly sensitive women in Las Vegas, Nevada.  She is a Myers-Briggs Typology Indicator (MBTI) Certified Practitioner and integrates Jungian psychology, mindfulness, neuroscience, and astrology into her work with clients.  She is also the host of the Women In-Depth Podcast:  Conversations about the Inner Lives of Women, which has been downloaded over 350,000x in 96 countries.

Carmen Schmidt Benedetti is a psychotherapist for highly sensitive womxn in Sonoma County, California. She helps them to heal layers of unrecognized childhood trauma and create calm, balance and stability in their life. As a Certified EMDR therapist, Carmen guides adults in reframing their past from an empowered perspective, coming to believe they are ‘good enough’ and their needs and feelings matter

Topics discussed in this episode: 

• The relationship between anxiety and trauma and the HSP trait (1:45)
• The importance of understanding the different types of anxiety and the brain in order to reduce anxiety (4:38)
• Cortex-based anxiety (5:49)
• Some times for reducing cortex-cased anxiety (9:23)
• Amygdala-based anxiety (10:49)
• Differences between amygdala-based and cortex-based anxiety (20:56)
• Some tips for reducing amygdala-based anxiety (25:52)
• Treating the root of anxiety versus treating the symptoms of anxiety (30:04)
• How the HSP trait impacts understanding and healing from anxiety and trauma (33:14)

Resources:

Carmen’s website: https://carmenschmidtmft.com/ 

“Rewire Your Anxious Brain: How to Use the Neuroscience of Fear to End Anxiety, Panic, and Worry” is available on Amazon or your favorite independent bookseller 

Related Episodes:

https://lourdesviado.com/124-complex-trauma-and-the-highly-sensitive-person/ 

https://lourdesviado.com/127-complex-trauma-in-the-highly-sensitive-person/ 

https://lourdesviado.com/132-tools-for-the-highly-sensitive-person/

In this episode of Women In-Depth,  Alana Carvalho, LMHC, shares her insights on helping parents recover from patterns of codependency and perfectionism so they can raise empowered children.  

Alana Carvalho is a licensed mental health counselor who focuses on helping parents, couples and individuals build balanced relationships by releasing old patterns and becoming more authentic. She is especially passionate about helping individuals see how healing codependency and perfectionism can lead to a more joy filled life. Alana has lectured on child development at The College of Staten Island. Her first book Raising Empowered Children: The Codependent Perfectionist’s Guide to Parenting is now available on amazon.com. Alana maintains her private practice in Midtown Manhattan and is currently seeing clients virtually. You can connect with her through her website, Instagram, podcast or you can email her at [email protected]

Topics discussed in this episode: 

• The importance of helping parents understand codependency and perfectionism (2:39) 
• What is codependency? (8:57)
• How codependency can show up in parenting (9:34)
• How someone can begin to heal from codependency (18:31)
• What is perfectionism? (19:52)
• How perfectionism can show up in parenting (20:30)
• The double whammy of codependency and perfectionism in parenting (24:25)
• The impact of little, everyday kinds of trauma (29:08)
• The importance of emotional safety (35:20)
• Bringing faith and spirituality into parenting (42:59)

Resources:

Alana’s website: https://www.alanacarvalho.com/ 

Alana’s book:  Raising Empowered Children: The Codependent Perfectionist’s Guide to Parenting 

Women In-Depth episodes on childhood emotional neglect (CEN)with Dr. Jonice Webb:  

Childhood Emotional Neglect:   The Invisible Experience

After Childhood Emotional Neglect:  Healing Your Relationships with Your Partner, Children, & Parents