Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

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Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Rick Hanson, Ph.D., Forrest Hanson

1 hour 14 minutes

Disorganized Attachment: Heal By Embracing Your Needs
Dr. Rick and Forrest explore disorganized, or “fearful,” attachment. This complex style occurs when emotional intimacy and distance both feel uncomfortable, and typically arises based on difficult life experiences. They unpack why this attachment pattern forms, what it feels like on the inside, and how it can change over time. Dr. Rick explains how to break the Catch-22 of disorganized attachment, and how fully embracing and expressing your needs can be the key to finding stability. Topics include hypersensitivity, repression, experiencing out, self-regulation, and why "boring" relationships can be transformative.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

2:20: How attachment theory developed, and how it has evolved

11:20: How attachment styles shift based on life experience

15:25: Social environment and internal reliability

23:55: The catch 22 of healing disorganized attachment

29:35: Leveraging coping mechanisms for healing

32:20: Hypersensitivity and embracing your need for attunement

39:50: Repression, and experiencing out

45:45: Recognizing what’s true, and how reality is reliable

48:25: Caring for the body, and innate self-love

53:45: Unique therapeutic approaches to disorganized attachment styles

55:25: Embracing what you really want, and creating a coherent narrative

58:40: Bottom-up self-regulation, self-trust, and internalizing positive feedback

1:04:20: When stable relationships are “boring”

1:06:55: Self-respect and freedom in communication

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19 May 2025, 10:00 am
1 hour 15 minutes

Living with Depression with Dr. Scott Eilers
Forrest is joined by clinical psychologist Dr. Scott Eilers to explore how he both treats and lives with chronic depression. They discuss anhedonia, the catch-22 of treatment resistance, how to build new practices when it’s the last thing you want to do, acceptance, and how a values-based approach can help someone move forward even when they’re feeling stuck. The conversation touches on some of the existential aspects of depression, the therapeutic relationship, and finding some humor along the way.

About Our Guest: Dr. Scott Eilers is a licensed clinical psychologist, author, and mental health coach specializing in severe, treatment-resistant mood and anxiety disorders. He is the author of For When Everything Is Burning and hosts the podcast The Psychology of Depression and Anxiety.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:25: Scott’s personal experience of depression

5:45: Distinguishing sadness from depression, and depression vs. a depressing life

9:25: Choosing action, and emotional budgeting

19:10: Symptoms as obstacles, and when to establish new practices

24:45: Navigating emotional numbness, and creating rewarding experiences

31:30: Loneliness, and the struggle to be witnessed

37:45: Accepting how things are, and aiming for better instead of perfect

48:35: AI therapy

54:30: Finding out who you are and what you care about

59:15: Humor, sarcasm, and snarkiness

1:02:50: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

Head to acornsearly.com/beingwell or download the Acorns Early app to help your kids grow their money skills today.

Get Notion Mail for free right now at notion.com/beingwell, and try the inbox that thinks like you

For a limited time, get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to Headspace.com/BEINGWELL60.

Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.

Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership.

Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today.

Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
12 May 2025, 10:00 am
1 hour 8 minutes

Live Show: Yung Pueblo on Relationships, Change, and Mindfulness
Forrest is joined by poet and author Diego Perez - better known as Yung Pueblo - for a live conversation recorded at City Arts & Lectures in San Francisco. They reunite the sensitive boys club to talk about how inner work transforms our relationships, what it means to love with an open hand, and the difference between attachment and commitment. Diego shares how his meditation practice reshaped his life and partnership, how he and his wife built a new culture of honesty together, and why real love always shows you what you need to work on.

About our Guest: Yung Pueblo is a poet, meditator, and the bestselling author of five books, including How to Love Better: The Path to Deeper Connection Through Growth, Kindness, and Compassion.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

4:55: Diego’s personal background, and how he came to meditation

9:25: How meditation affects your relationships

13:40: Attachment vs. commitment, and developing comfort with receiving love

20:50: The student mentality, spiritual arrogance, and ‘don’t know mind’

26:45: Preventative communication

30:40: Being in a relationship when both partners are constantly evolving

35:55: What happens on a silent retreat

40:45: How “advanced meditators” argue, and how to have a low stakes relationship check-in

47:45: Rebuilding after past hurt

54:50: Diego’s relationship with the internet, and why he goes by Yung Pueblo

59:35: RecapSupport the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

Head to fastgrowingtrees.com/BEINGWELL to get 15% off the best deals for your yard. Use BEINGWELL at checkout, and take advantage of their Alive and Thrive Guarantee!

Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.

Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership.

Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/

Connect with the show:
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5 May 2025, 10:00 am
1 hour 16 minutes

How to Change Your Personality with Olga Khazan
Can we really change our personalities? In this episode, Forrest is joined by someone who’s actually tried most of the things we talk about on the podcast: journalist and author Olga Khazan. Olga shares the personal experiments that led to her becoming more extroverted and agreeable, and less neurotic. They discuss the Big Five personality traits, how behavior shapes identity, the role of self-concept, authenticity, and some of the common challenges people face when trying to change a core aspect of who they are.

About Our Guest: Olga Khazan is a writer at The Atlantic, where she covers health, culture, and the complexities of human behavior. She's the author of Weird: The Power of Being an Outsider in an Insider World and her new book Me, But Better: The Science and Promise of Personality Change.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:15: Olga’s personal background with personality change

5:20: Age, extroversion, self-concept, and Olga’s improv classes

10:10: Unconditional positive regard, meditation, and mindfulness

20:55: Trying on different traits, and acceptance vs. change

24:25: Conscientiousness, openness, agreeableness, and individualism

36:20: Changing at the ‘trait level’, and the changes Olga has embraced most

43:50: Psychedelics, non-self, and identifying what’s really true

53:50: Nature vs. nurture and the aspects we can’t change

56:30: Parenting and personality change

1:02:05: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

Head to fastgrowingtrees.com/BEINGWELL to get 15% off the best deals for your yard. Use BEINGWELL at checkout, and take advantage of their Alive and Thrive Guarantee!

Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.

Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership.

Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/

Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
28 April 2025, 10:00 am
1 hour 22 minutes

Your Parents Are Emotionally Immature. Now What? w/ Dr. Lindsay Gibson
Dr. Lindsay Gibson joins Forrest to explore emotional immaturity, the consequences of growing up with emotionally immature caregivers, and what we can do to change those patterns in adulthood. They discuss the key signs of emotional immaturity, including egocentrism, low empathy, and affective realism. Dr. Gibson then shares how having an emotionally immature parent affects children, often by leading to emotional disconnection and people-pleasing, and the consequences of these patterns in adult life. Topics include the problems with “just be more compassionate,” estrangement, balancing competing desires, and how to heal in adulthood by reconnecting with your feelings, letting go of old fantasies, and setting healthy boundaries.

About our Guest: Dr. Lindsay Gibson is a clinical psychologist and the author of the Emotional Immaturity series of books, including her bestseller Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:15: How Dr. Gibson defines emotional immaturity
6:45: Markers of emotional immaturity in parents
11:05: Emotional intelligence in children, loneliness, and regulating parents
19:05: The arc of recovery, responding to feelings with thoughts, and healthy guidance
31:00: Repeating patterns in relationships
36:15: Letting go of the healing fantasy, and when to take space
42:45: Estrangement, compassion, boundary setting, and becoming more authentic
58:45: When healthy change creates social pressure
1:01:55: Common misconceptions about emotional immaturity
1:06:05: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors
Head to fastgrowingtrees.com/BEINGWELL to get 15% off the best deals for your yard. Use BEINGWELL at checkout, and take advantage of their Alive and Thrive Guarantee!

Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.

Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership.

Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/

Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
21 April 2025, 10:00 am
1 hour 9 minutes

Self-Concept: The Secret to Changing WHO You Are
Forrest and Dr. Rick explore how self-concept, the invisible architecture of who we are, shapes our lives. They discuss how identity can become a cage, the unconscious beliefs we have about who we are, and how loosening those beliefs might be the key to lasting change.

Forrest and Rick talk about the science of psychological flexibility, how to challenge limiting self-beliefs, and why a little more “don’t-know mind” can go a long way. They share insights from Carl Rogers, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and Buddhist philosophy, and focus on practical ways to update your self-concept without losing who you are.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:40: What is self-concept?
8:25: Stories, frameworks, and expectations
13:30: ‘I’ vs. ‘me’, and feeling misunderstood
16:55: Carl Rogers’ framework of self-concept and congruence
24:20: Common tropes for defending identity
30:45: Applying principles of biological evolution to your sense of self
34:50: Resistance to change, and misguided beliefs
40:35: Don’t-know mind, affirmation, and taking in the good
47:30: The Buddhist conception of the self
53:40: Living in direct experience, and basic trust
56:50: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

Get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to Headspace.com/BEINGWELL60 to unlock all of Headspace FREE for 60 days.

Head to fastgrowingtrees.com/BEINGWELL to get 15% off the best deals for your yard. Use BEINGWELL at checkout, and take advantage of their Alive and Thrive Guarantee!

Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.

Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/

Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership.

Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
14 April 2025, 10:00 am
1 hour 12 minutes

Linking: The Secret to Rewiring Painful Memories
Forrest and Dr. Rick explore one of his most powerful psychological tools: linking. Over time, linking can help us rewire the brain, softening the impact of painful memories. They discuss the neuroscience behind this process, the role of memory reconsolidation, and the importance of matching positive experiences to our original pains. Rick shares personal examples, practical tips, and a few important cautions so you can apply this technique safely. This is a grounded, hands-on episode focused on one of his most high-impact ideas.

Warning: There is a brief mention of SA toward the end of the episode.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:45: What is linking?
5:30: The relationship between linking and memory, and coherence therapy
12:20: The challenges with linking, and making the positive stronger than the negative
20:40: How to practice linking
31:00: How to disentangle our adult selves from our ‘parts’
39:30: The “erasure protocol”
53:15: How long it takes for linking to help, and key questions to ask yourself
1:02:05: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors
Get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to Headspace.com/BEINGWELL60 to unlock all of Headspace FREE for 60 days.

Head to fastgrowingtrees.com/BEINGWELL to get 15% off the best deals for your yard. Use BEINGWELL at checkout, and take advantage of their Alive and Thrive Guarantee!

Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.

Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/

Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership.

Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
7 April 2025, 10:00 am
1 hour 10 minutes

How to Get On the Same Team: Relationship Mailbag
Dr. Rick and Forrest answer questions focused on navigating common relationship conflicts, focusing on situations where people need to find a middle path between different needs. The discussion covers balancing sensitivity with directness, bridging differences in emotional processing speeds, setting healthy boundaries without anger, and understanding how childhood patterns influence adult relationships. Throughout, they explore how couples can move from seeing issues as "me problems" to "we problems," emphasizing the importance of being on the same team and strengthening connection.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:50: How do I know if I’m being too sensitive or my partner’s being too harsh?
13:30: I need space to process; my partner wants to resolve things immediately. How do we bridge the gap?
20:55: How do I determine whether or not a relationship problem is a dealbreaker?
33:00: How can I discern between rumination and useful anxiety?
41:40: How can I honor my need for self-protection while maintaining my naturally open heart?
49:15: If parents have certain problematic traits, are their children more likely to develop those traits as well?
56:00: Recap

Rumination Course: Rick’s 5-week online course Breaking Out of Rumination starts on March 29th. Rumination is a big pain point for many people, and this course will help you learn how to break repetitive patterns of thought. Learn more at RickHanson.com/ruminating, and use coupon code BeingWell25 to receive a 25% discount.

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors
Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.

Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.

Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/

Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership.

Field of Greens from Brickhouse Nutrition is a superfood powder packed with vitamins, minerals, fiber, and antioxidants. Use the code BEINGWELL at fieldofgreens.com for 20% off your first order.

Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
31 March 2025, 10:00 am
1 hour 25 minutes

How to Find Your Path in Life with David Epstein
In one of my favorite conversations, bestselling author David Epstein joins the podcast to explore how to find your path in life, the problem with 10,000 hours, and why generalists triumph in a specialized world. David and I discuss why sampling different paths before specializing tends to lead to more fulfillment. David explains why feeling "behind" is actually normal for successful people who take non-linear paths, and how "fit looks like grit" when you find something that genuinely connects with your strengths and interests. We then detail how to identify good fits, a practical process for getting good at almost anything, and what helps create a breakthrough moment.

About our Guest: David Epstein is a bestselling author, science writer, and investigative reporter known for challenging conventional wisdom about peak performance. His books include Range: Why Generalists Triumph in a Specialized World and The Sports Gene.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction and summary of David’s work
1:25: The benefits of generalism and an unusual background
4:15: Feeling behind, and David vs. Malcolm Gladwell’s 10,000 hours
11:40: Curiosity, transferable skills, and comfort with failure
21:40: Problems with specialization, and the value of consistent learning
27:10: Beginner’s mind and the eight lane highway
31:35: Finding what you want to do, and the value of constraint
41:35: Doing what’s in front of you, and Frances Hesselbein
45:55: How to actually get good at something
54:20: More on getting comfortable with failure
1:00:10: Autonomy, flow, and just picking something
1:04:00: What creates the “breakthrough moment”?
1:11:30: Recap

Rumination Course: Rick’s 5-week online course Breaking Out of Rumination starts on March 29th. Rumination is a big pain point for many people, and this course will help you learn how to break repetitive patterns of thought. Learn more at RickHanson.com/ruminating, and use coupon code BeingWell25 to receive a 25% discount.

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors
Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/
Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership.
Field of Greens from Brickhouse Nutrition is a superfood powder packed with vitamins, minerals, fiber, and antioxidants. Use the code BEINGWELL at fieldofgreens.com for 20% off your first order.

Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
24 March 2025, 10:00 am
1 hour 13 minutes

How to Stop Overthinking: Rumination, OCD, and Breaking the Awareness Trap
Self-awareness is a good thing…right? In this episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick Hanson explore how we can stop overthinking and break the self-awareness trap: when knowing ourselves becomes an obstacle to change. They discuss the difference between reflection and rumination, the pitfalls of being "an expert on yourself," and why overthinking is often an avoidance mechanism disguised as problem-solving. Dr. Rick shares practical strategies for managing attention, setting boundaries around decisions, and cultivating an experimental mindset.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Rumination Course: Rick’s 5-week online course Breaking Out of Rumination starts on March 29th. Rumination is a big pain point for many people, and this course will help you learn how to break repetitive patterns of thought. Learn more at RickHanson.com/ruminating, and use coupon code BeingWell25 to receive a 25% discount.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:40: When self-awareness gets in the way
8:15: Rumination vs. reflection
13:25: Developing passion for the ‘useful truth’, and working with obsession
16:45: Beginner’s mind and self-concept
25:15: The 90/10 approach to overthinking
31:15: Seeing what’s liberating, naming what’s important, seeing your full self
35:05: Managing your attention, and self-trust
42:00: Thinking vs. taking useful action
50:35: Letting yourself experiment
54:00: Self-acceptance, and having a spirit of openness
58:10: Avoiding the unknown
1:00:35: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/
Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership.
Field of Greens from Brickhouse Nutrition is a superfood powder packed with vitamins, minerals, fiber, and antioxidants. Use the code BEINGWELL at fieldofgreens.com for 20% off your first order.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
17 March 2025, 10:00 am
1 hour 21 minutes

How to Get Your Life Together: The 90/10 Rule
There’s never been more information out there about psychology, self-improvement, and mental health, making it easy to get lost in the details and lose sight of what matters. In this special episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick apply the 90/10 rule to psychology and self-help: what are the small handful of things that tend to make the biggest difference for people?
You’ll learn why most self-help advice should probably be ignored, how to simplify your approach to happiness and personal growth, and what actually moves the needle when it comes to feeling better, getting unstuck, and building a fulfilling life.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Rumination Course: Rick’s 5-week online course Breaking Out of Rumination starts on March 29th. Rumination is a big pain point for many people, and this course will help you learn how to break repetitive patterns of thought. Learn more at RickHanson.com/ruminating, and use coupon code BeingWell25 to receive a 25% discount.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:00: Putting the big rocks in first
8:40: Root factors of well-being
15:15: Satisfaction, and what helps us rest easy
26:05: Avoidance, and responding to our own objections
32:35: Finding what matters to you, spirituality, and creative expression
36:25: Small, consistent action
39:50: Relationships and the power of repair
43:00: Stress, self-regulation, and creating space around your thoughts
48:55: Identifying your broken link, and the role of integrity
53:30: Allostatic load, and acknowledging when you’ve done your best
1:00:00: Being on your own side, pursuit mindset, and benefiting others
1:03:40: Self-concept, and joining the defense
1:06:00: Bottom up regulation, and taking one thing at a time
1:10:35: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Field of Greens from Brickhouse Nutrition is a superfood powder packed with vitamins, minerals, fiber, and antioxidants. Use the code BEINGWELL at fieldofgreens.com for 20% off your first order.
Head to acorns.com/beingwell or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future
Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.
Use promo code hanson at the link below to get an exclusive 60% off an annual plan at incogni.com/hanson.
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/
Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
10 March 2025, 10:00 am
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