Messy

Life can be a real, unpredictable mess at times.

There are things within our control—and way more beyond it. (See the Behavior Echo-System).

So, we tumble through life, tripping over our expectations, cursing when things don’t go our way, and thinking the universe owes us a smoother ride.

Here’s a quick story, courtesy of the NFL.

It’s halftime. The reporter is interviewing Mike Tomlin, the Pittsburgh Steelers' Super Bowl-winning head coach. “You’ve been inside the red zone a few times and come away with nothing but field goals. Isn’t that frustrating?”

His response: “It’s not frustrating, it’s football.”

Boom.

Without pause, Tomlin dropped a truth bomb that should be knitted on pillows worldwide.

Football comes with challenges built right in. As does life.

How many of us set ourselves up for disappointment, convinced life is supposed to be a never-ending merry-go-round of cotton candy and catchy music?

We have generations of ‘kids’ growing up (thanks to social media), floating along, expecting (happiness loop - prior episode), each day to be an easy ride.

The last time I checked, life wasn’t designed for ease and comfort - feel free to thank whatever gods you’d like for that.

The good-ish news is this; when we stop expecting ease, comfort, and smoothness, we’re braced for a bumpy ride.

When we train ourselves for difficulties, the difficulties become easier.

This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit habits2goals.substack.com/subscribe

“No person is free who cannot command themselves.” ~ Pythagoras

Welcome to NOvember

"Who Is In Control?"

This November, H2G - Habits 2 Goals challenges you to ask one crucial question:

Who is in control?

Discipline is a Habit

“Nobody is born disciplined. It’s something you cultivate.”

Discipline is not an inborn trait.

Like any habit, discipline is cultivated through practice, it’s a habit/skill anyone can develop over time. (see Behavior Echo-System 👇)

Self-Mastery and Freedom

True freedom results from self-mastery— to choose one’s response rather than reacting impulsively.

The decision to practice discipline leads to greater freedom and autonomy.

“The choice of discipline and diligence produces freedom."

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The Behavior Echo-System

Your behaviors don’t occur in a vacuum—they’re part of your “Behavior Echo-System.” Everyone has their own behavior echo-system – an interconnected set of influencers that includes one’s environment, thoughts (stories), and emotions.

This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit habits2goals.substack.com/subscribe

New Listener Reset: Habits & Goals Basics

Habits are NOT better than goals. Goals are not better than habits.

Understand the crucial role each play in your life and how each serve the other.

Heading into my summer hiatus, I’m leaving you with a handful of episodes to revisit and to help reset your habit tracking and goal journey.

HABITS:

"How Systems Help to Create Habits & Skills" - Discusses how systems can support habit formation.

"Discipline is a Habit" - Focuses on the role of discipline in habit building.

"Killing Negative Habits" - Offers insights into breaking bad habits using the 4 Ments!

"28 Days!" - Likely about the significance of the 28-day habit formation process.

"How to Create Any Habit" - Offers practical steps to start new habits.

"The Habit Factor: Starting Small" - Emphasizes the importance of starting small with habit formation to demonstrate self-efficacy and create momentum!

"Why Accountability Matters" - Explores the role of accountability in habit development. A tracking sheet, an accountability buddy; these are examples of environmental influencers that help to forge good, positive habits.

"Tracking Your Habits" - Discusses the importance of habit tracking in achieving goals. (See above ☝️ )

GOALS:

"Goals are Not Optional" - This episode discusses the critical nature of goal setting and why it's essential to have clear goals.

"The End is the Beginning" - This episode delves into the importance of knowing your desired outcome before setting your goals.

"2021 New Year Series: Do Not Pass Go!" - A motivational episode that emphasizes the importance of committing to your goals and tracking your habits.

This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit habits2goals.substack.com/subscribe

“Just when the catepillar thought the world was going to end, it became a butterfly.”

Metamorphosis

Change: one of life’s great constants.

For those between 45 and 60, life often brings significant challenges: marriages end, careers shift, personal identities and appearances evolve.

After decades of laying a foundation, it may feel like it’s slipping away...

Quantum physics offers a fascinating perspective on transformation. It suggests that multiple possibilities exist in any given moment and that our focus heavily influences which 'reality' unfolds.

When one chapter ends, the story can improve if we remain open to the same curiosity and optimism that served us initially.

Fear and resistance hold us back. Acceptance and equanimity serve times of change best.

“Faith alone defends. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable.”~ Helen Keller

Appreciate endings as gateways to new beginnings. See losses as lessons and challenges as stepping stones.

This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit habits2goals.substack.com/subscribe

“My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure.” ~Abraham Lincoln

Failure Number 9

Lincoln’s quote ☝️ is a powerful and stark reminder that even the greatest among us stumble, fail, and fall flat on their faces.

Given enough time, as Ray Dalio puts it, “There are a whole host of ways that something will get you.” See image below…

This is where Lincoln’s example is proof positive that failure isn’t just a stepping stone to success; it’s an essential ingredient—a requirement.

In the realm of biophysics, there’s a concept known as the principle of maximum error*. It suggests that organisms, including humans, benefit from mistakes. It is through experimentation and failing that we learn, grow, and optimize ourselves.

Thus, Failure Number 9 or 18 or 72 isn’t a cause for despair but rather encouragement.

As long as you have the capacity to choose your response (see prior episode, Stimulus vs Response), and guide your behaviors toward your goals and ideals, you are on the path.

Sometimes when you are in a dark place you may feel you have been buried, when in fact you have been planted. ~ Christine Caine

Do your best to approach each setback as an opportunity to refine your approach, develop resilience, and discover new strengths.

Responding to failure is largely about finding a hopeful narrative. A H.E.R.O.’s narrative—one that is Hopeful, Empowering, Responsible, and Optimistic—even when the chapter you’re in feels like a tragedy.

This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit habits2goals.substack.com/subscribe

“When you shift your perspective stories, meanings, feelings and even behaviors can change.”

Meaning as a Derivative of Perspective

Our perspective often shapes our emotions and actions.

Consider a bad breakup: Initially, it feels devastating, but years later, it might become a source of amusement.

This shift in perspective changes the meaning of the event, which in turn influences our feelings, behaviors, and outcomes.

Introducing: The Behavior Echo-System

The Behavior Echo-System, a new behavior model, illustrates how three key influencers are interconnected through our emotions and feelings:

Thinking/Story: Our thoughts and beliefs. These are the internal narratives we rely on to plan, predict, and explain events.

Behaviors/Habits/Skills: The actions we take and the habits and skills we develop.

Environment: Our surroundings, including people and places. While we can influence our environment, it also impacts us and our behaviors.

These three components continuously affect one another, creating a perpetual cycle.

Enter: Response-Ability

We can't always control what happens to us, but we can almost always choose how we respond. This is known as "response-ability."

Emotionally mature individuals often manage to choose their responses to frustrating, challenging, and stressful events.

This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit habits2goals.substack.com/subscribe

The Power of Focus

Twain’s profound insight serves as a cornerstone for understanding the importance of focus in our lives.

Focus is about harnessing and directing our energy effectively.

Imagine a five-watt light bulb—it can barely light up a closet. But when that same energy is focused, it can cut through steel.

This is the fundamental principle behind the order of focus: selection, concentration, and then focus.

SELECT » CONCENTRATE » FOCUS

A popular method to enhance focus is the Pomodoro® Technique.

This ttechnique involves using a timer (app on a mobile device) for a specific period, such as 25 or 45 minutes, and dedicating that time solely to one task.

This method establishes a defined focus period, allowing for deep, uninterrupted work. Its simplicity and effectiveness lie in its ability to create a sense of urgency and clarity, making it easier to concentrate on the task at hand.

To improve your Habitstrength™, The Habit Factor applies the concepts of “Minimum Success Criteria” and “Target Days” for successive 28-day habit-tracking periods. Combining The Habit Factor® with the Pomodoro® Technique creates a powerful one-two punch to enhance productivity.

You can quickly transition from scattered energy to focused accomplishment.

Give it a try: track as few as three habits for 28 days and apply the Pomodoro® Technique for your focus periods.

This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit habits2goals.substack.com/subscribe

Stimulus versus Response: A Delicate Dance of Power

Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor and founder of logotherapy, once said, “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

…In our response lies our growth and our freedom

This profound observation has anchored much of popular psychology, a beacon highlighting our ability to govern our responses to any situation.

But let’s strip this idea down to the bone—what if the story isn’t so starkly drawn?

Learning and Growth: The Power to Respond

Frankl nails it—our power resides in how we respond.

Picture this: a student, face-to-face with a brutal exam (stimulus/environment). Their success hinges on their ability to recall what they've learned and to tame the beast of anxiety (the internal narrative in their head/response).

In these moments we learn, we adapt, and we grow.

Or, take a business leader confronting a market nosedive (stimulus/environment). Innovate or retreat (response/thoughts/behavior).

This decision shifts the company’s fate.

Overwhelming Stimuli

Frankl’s wisdom has its limits.

This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit habits2goals.substack.com/subscribe

“Adversity doesn’t build character — it reveals it.” ~ James Allen Lane

Hurdle Number One, Self Control

Facing challenges tends to reveal our strengths and weaknesses.

By managing some pain and discomfort, we gain insight about our willpower and our character.

Think of self-discipline as the first hurdle to reaching larger goals.

That may mean getting up earlier instead of sleeping in or choosing healthy snacks instead of junk food. These repeated, small acts of self-control (habits) can propel one toward big changes in their lives.

There is a strong link between self-discipline and goal achievement.

While goal achievement is never assured, having good habits helps to prepare one for growth and trains them to use their willpower.

Beginning with self-mastery is the way.

“I’ve never met a disciplined baby.” ...

This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit habits2goals.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit habits2goals.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit habits2goals.substack.com/subscribe