Ever been mentally turned on but your body isn't responding? Or maybe your body is turned on but your mind isn’t? That's arousal non-concordance, and it's way more common than you think. In this ep, Dee speaks to psychologist and sexologist Laura Lee about why it happens, how it can impact consent and how to handle it.

SHOW NOTES:

Laura Lee Website - https://www.lauralee.com.au/

DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: [email protected]

The Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

Do you think humans are biologically wired for one partner? Or have we been socially conditioned into monogamy? We deep dive into the science and history of human relationships to figure out whether pairing with one person for life is our natural state of being, or if we’re actually biologically predisposed to be non-monogamous.

SHOW NOTES:

Our biology wants us untethered. So why does society place so much emphasis on monogamy?:

https://www.latimes.com/opinion/op-ed/la-oe-barash-why-humans-choose-monogamy-20160320-story.html

Monogamous Animal Study - where humans rank:

https://www.theguardian.com/science/2025/dec/10/humans-rank-among-leading-monogamous-mammals-study-finds

PODCAST: Science Vs - True Love: Is Monogamy Unnatural? 

https://open.spotify.com/episode/1gm9BvCWsHhXN2erbvNXiv

PODCAST: Lives Well Lived w/ Anna Machin: Monogamy Is Unnatural

https://open.spotify.com/episode/3WyhifKm70RhzlLUChN8S3

BOOK: Esther Perel - Mating In Captivity

BOOK: Sex At Dawn - Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá

BOOK: Eve: How the Female Body Drove 200 Million Years of Human Evolution - Cat Bohannon 

VIDEO: Helen Fisher + Chris Ryan + Esther Perel

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMji-YE1qVA

DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: [email protected]

The Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

Louis Theroux’s new Netflix doco Inside the Manosphere has everyone talking. So in this episode, Dee chats with men’s violence prevention advocate and educator Tarang Chawla about his reaction to the film, why so many young men and boys are drawn to manosphere influencers, and the real-world impacts this content is having.

SHOW NOTES:

Inside The Manosphere - https://www.netflix.com/au/title/81920687

Tarang Chawla - https://tarangchawla.com/

1800 Respect (1800 737 732): national domestic family and sexual violence counselling hotline.

Mensline Australia (1300 78 99 78): counselling support for men with concerns about mental health, relationships, anger management, family violence (using and experiencing), stress, and suicidal thoughts.

13YARN (13 92 76): 24/7 culturally safe crisis support for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people.

Beyond Blue (1300 22 4636): 24/7 support for anxiety and depression.

DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: [email protected]

The Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

Sometimes our mates do or say things that are a turn off - but unlike a relationship, sometimes we let them slide. In this episode we find out your friendship icks, and debate whether we should hold friends to the same standard that we hold our relationships to.

DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: [email protected]

The Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

Is Having A Boyfriend Embarrassing Now? When writer Chanté Joseph asked that question in Vogue last year, she broke the internet. It pissed a lot of people off, but it also made a lot of single women finally feel validated. So why did it strike such a nerve? Dee Salmin asks Chanté what she really meant, what she thinks about heterosexuality in 2026, and whether engagements and marriage are embarrassing too. 

SHOW NOTES:

Is Having A Boyfriend Embarrassing Now? Article: https://www.vogue.com/article/is-having-a-boyfriend-embarrassing-now

DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: [email protected]

The Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

If you really want (or don’t want) kids, what do you do if you’re dating or in a relationship with someone who doesn’t feel the same way? It can be one of the hardest things to navigate, so in this episode – you’ll hear from relationship coach Megan Luscombe on how to figure out if it’s a dealbreaker or if it’s something you can work through. 

DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: [email protected]

The Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

Whether you’re on a first date, or deep into a relationship, a dealbreaker can come out of nowhere and really change the way you feel about someone. We find out what yours are, when you’ve ended relationships over them and if you (or a partner) have compromised or changed for a dealbreaker.

DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: [email protected]

The Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

Like we heard in last week’s ep, miscarriages are so common, yet so many people feel alone in their experience. So in this ep, you’ll hear from author Jess Kirkness again - sharing the emotional impact her pregnancy loss had on her, as well as from Miscarriage Australia’s Dr Jade Bilardi and clinical psychologist Clare Bellhouse on how to heal and best support your loved ones.

SHOW NOTES:

Jess Kirkness Article - https://www.abc.net.au/news/2026-02-21/miscarriage-loss-grief/106308830

Miscarriage Australia - https://miscarriageaustralia.com.au/

Red Nose Grief and Loss Support Line (1300 308 307): 24/7 support for anyone impacted by miscarriage, stillbirth, or baby death.

Pink Elephants Pregnancy Loss Helpline (1300 726 306): Support via PANDA, available Mon-Fri 9am-7:30pm, Sat 9am-4pm AEST.

13YARN (13 92 76): 24/7 culturally safe crisis support for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people.

Beyond Blue (1300 22 4636): 24/7 support for anxiety and depression.

DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: [email protected]

The Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

They say don’t judge a book by its cover - but does that mean you should always “give them a chance” if you’re not immediately attracted to someone? In this episode we’re debating whether attraction needs to be instant or can grow over time, are we stringing people along if we wait for it to develop, and have dating apps have killed slowburn romance.

SHOW NOTES:

Romantic attraction and evolution: New study pinpoints key traits in mate selection:

https://www.psypost.org/romantic-attraction-and-evolution-new-study-pinpoints-key-traits-in-mate-selection/

The Preferred Traits of Mates in a Cross-National Study of Heterosexual and Homosexual Men and Women:

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/6427708_The_Preferred_Traits_of_Mates_in_a_Cross-National_Study_of_Heterosexual_and_Homosexual_Men_and_Women_An_Examination_of_Biological_and_Cultural_Influences

OUR EP: Unpacking Adolescence, The Manosphere and The 80/20 Rule

https://www.abc.net.au/triplej/programs/the-hook-up/unpacking-adolescence-the-manosphere-and-the-80-20-rule/105118516

DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: [email protected]

The Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

Miscarriages and pregnancy loss are so much more common than we might think. But no one really talks about them?! In this ep you’ll hear from Jess Kirkness, a writer who shares her miscarriage story, plus you’ll also hear from gynaecologist Dr Charlotte Elder on why they happen and what to expect. 

SHOW NOTES:

Jess Kirkness Article - https://www.abc.net.au/news/2026-02-21/miscarriage-loss-grief/106308830

Red Nose Grief and Loss Support Line (1300 308 307): 24/7 support for anyone impacted by miscarriage, stillbirth, or baby death.

Pink Elephants Pregnancy Loss Helpline (1300 726 306): Support via PANDA, available Mon-Fri 9am-7:30pm, Sat 9am-4pm AEST.

13YARN (13 92 76): 24/7 culturally safe crisis support for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people.

Beyond Blue (1300 22 4636): 24/7 support for anxiety and depression.

DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: [email protected]

The Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

Everyone knows about the “3 date rule”, but is it always worth the wait? We find out why you’re holding off sex or diving right in, if there’s a magic number of dates before getting intimate and whether having sex too soon can stop a relationship in it’s tracks.

SHOW NOTES:

YouGov Survey on how long you should wait before having sex:

https://today.yougov.com/society/articles/37341-relationships-dating-marriage-sex-milestones-poll?utm_source=chatgpt.com

Studies on first-date sex impacting relationships:

https://www.datingadvice.com/studies/fdshlt

https://www.mamamia.com.au/sex-on-first-date/

Differing relationship outcomes when sex happens before, on, or after first dates

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23121225/

DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: [email protected]

The Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.