With That Being Said

Esther Boykin

Join Esther Boykin and Erica Turner, two licensed marriage & family therapists who run Therapy is Not a Dirty Word- a collection of workshops, retreats, happy hours, and other awesome ways to bring people and therapists together in real life. We bring professional expertise into beautiful, fun, and inspiring settings to make the wisdom of therapy more accessible to everyone.

  • 46 minutes 3 seconds
    It's Always You... Even When It's Them

    In this episode of "With That Being Said", Esther and Erica share about the importance of setting AND communicating your boundaries with others. No relationship is without boundaries, so Esther and Erica discuss how you can communicate your boundaries even when it's difficult, and why they believe boundaries are actually necessary to form meaningful connections. 

    If you enjoy "With That Being Said" and want more of Esther and Erica, check out their Instagram Live Show "Live with E+E" on Tuesday's at 12 PM EST. You can find E+E on both Esther and Erica's Instagrams (linked below).

    Esther's Instagram: @estherbmft

    Erica's Instagram: @rosewatertherapy

    Therapy Is Not A Dirty Word's Instagram: @therapyisnotadirtyword


    If you have ideas for future episodes, or comments on the show, feel free to reach out to Esther and/or Erica on Instagram or at [email protected].


    Thanks for listening!


    28 January 2020, 12:00 pm
  • 36 minutes 23 seconds
    Episode with James Bland

    In this episode of "With That Being Said", Esther and Erica talk with special guest James Bland! James is a content creator, film maker, actor, writer, producer, and director. He is the creator, show runner and star of the award winning digital drama, Giants. Esther, Erica and James discuss the stigma around mental health, especially in communities of color, and how James is using his platform in Hollywood to help end it. They also discuss the truth about what mental illness looks like, the importance of being real, and (of course!) Esther and Erica ask James about his experience at the Emmy's!


    You can find James on Instagram and Twitter: @jrbland

    You can watch Giants on Issa Rae's Youtube Channel here, or on Cleo TV.

    You can find Giants on Instagram and Twitter: @giantstheseries

    Or visit Giant's website here


    If you enjoy "With That Being Said" and want more of Esther and Erica, check out their Instagram Live Show "Live with E+E" on Tuesday's at 12 PM EST. You can find E+E on both Esther and Erica's Instagrams (linked below).

    Esther's Instagram: @estherbmft

    Erica's Instagram: @rosewatertherapy

    Therapy Is Not A Dirty Word's Instagram: @therapyisnotadirtyword

    Links mentioned in the episode:

    Therapy is Not a Dirty Word Happy Hour Events


    14 January 2020, 12:00 pm
  • 1 hour 5 minutes
    How Long is this Gonna Take?!

    In this episode of "With That Being Said", Esther and Erica discuss how to set realistic expectations for therapy and answer the frequently asked question from clients - "How long is this going to take?" (spoiler: you probably won't like the answer). Esther and Erica also share how things like doing the work between sessions, consistency, and being honest with your therapist can really help move the process along!

    If you enjoy "With That Being Said" and want more of Esther and Erica, check out their Instagram Live Show "Live with E+E" on Tuesday's at 12 PM EST. You can find E+E on both Esther and Erica's Instagrams (linked below).

    Esther's Instagram: @estherbmft

    Erica's Instagram: @rosewatertherapy

    Therapy Is Not A Dirty Word's Instagram: @therapyisnotadirtyword

    Links mentioned in the episode:

    Esther's Book: How's Your Heart

     

    17 December 2019, 12:00 pm
  • 57 minutes 23 seconds
    Technology Won't Save You

    On this episode of "With That Being Said", Esther and Erica discuss the times when technology is actually getting in the way of our relationships with others. Don't worry, this isn't like a lecture from your mom about how your cellphone is going to kill you. Esther and Erica take the stance that in general technology can assist relationships, but the problem is when technology is used to avoid all awkward and uncomfortable conversations. With more and more people struggling with feeling lonely, the answer (shockingly) may actually be more human interaction - even when the conversations are uncomfortable. Listen and laugh as Esther and Erica share their thoughts on some of the new technology that is impeding social skills. 

    If you enjoy "With That Being Said" and want more of Esther and Erica, check out their Instagram Live Show "Live with E+E" on Tuesday's at 12 PM EST. You can find E+E on both Esther and Erica's Instagrams (linked below).

    Esther's Instagram: @estherbmft

    Erica's Instagram: @rosewatertherapy

    Therapy Is Not A Dirty Word's Instagram: @therapyisnotadirtyword


    Links mentioned in the episode: 

    Sidewalk Talk

    LoveSync (the sex button) Kickstarter

    Uber Quiet Mode

    The Atlantic - Why Are Young People Are Having So Little Sex?




    3 December 2019, 12:00 pm
  • 56 minutes 58 seconds
    Unpopular Opinion About Forgiveness

    On this episode of "With That Being Said", Esther and Erica share their "unpopular" opinion about forgiveness. They dive into the complexities of forgiveness, from the strict dictionary definition definition, to why there seems to be so much value placed on forgiveness. Esther and Erica make the case that forgiveness is a process, and not a destination and sometimes it's choosing between what takes more energy: to hate or to forgive.

    If you enjoy "With That Being Said" and want more of Esther and Erica, check out their Instagram Live Show "Live with E+E" on Tuesday's at 12 PM EST. You can find E+E on both Esther and Erica's Instagrams (linked below).

    Esther's Instagram: @estherbmft

    Erica's Instagram: @rosewatertherapy

    Therapy Is Not A Dirty Word's Instagram: @therapyisnotadirtyword


    5 November 2019, 12:00 pm
  • 53 minutes 43 seconds
    Don't Be Listening To Your Lil Instagram Friend

    On this episode of "With That Being Said", Esther and Erica discuss all the internet advice you're reading and need to stop. They'll share examples of:

    - bad advice they've seen online, and what makes it bad

    - advice that isn't bad, but isn't good for you

    And will share tips on how you can evaluate what advice is helpful to you and what advice is not. 


    Upcoming Events Mentioned:

    - Viva Vienna (May 25-27th, 2019): more information about the event available at http://vivavienna.org/default.aspx 

    - Therapy Is Not a Dirty Word Q&A Happy Hour (May 31, 2019): more information and tickets available at  https://www.eventbrite.com/e/therapy-is-not-a-dirty-word-q-a-happy-hour-washington-dc-tickets-51824773292 

    30 April 2019, 12:00 pm
  • 54 minutes 47 seconds
    Let's Talk About Sex with Pam Costa

    On this episode of "With That Being Said" we chat with sex and relationship coach Pam Costa.  We'll discuss a range of topics related to sex, including the importance of having a community you can talk candidly with about sex (especially for women!), what you can expect in sex therapy, and about open and poly-amorous relationships.  

    Pam's Website:  www.downtothere.com 

    Circles: www.downtothere.com/circles  

    Pam's  TEDx Talk: "Reclaiming Female Sexual Desire"

    16 April 2019, 7:06 pm
  • 40 minutes 15 seconds
    Self Care with Jerico Mandybur
    On this episode of "With That Being Said" we chat with writer and self-care advocate Jerico Mandybur about how to manage your self-care and reclaim what brings you joy. We also discuss the role of social media in our lives, self-exploration and Tarot.  Jerico's Tarot Book and Deck available NOW -  Neo Tarot: A Fresh Approach to Self-Care, Healing & Empowerment Jerico's Website:  jericomandybur.com  Jerico's Instagram: @jerico.mandybur
    2 April 2019, 12:00 pm
  • 1 hour 4 minutes
    Bad Parents

    On this episode of "With That Being Said" Esther and Erica discuss two tragic cases of 'what were the parents thinking?' and discuss why it's not helpful -- and even dangerous -- to view people as wholly bad or good. 


    *Warning: this episode contains an audio clip about sexual assault that some listeners may find triggering. 


    Twitter Video:  pic.twitter.com/tQcA4Ogk91 

    Abducted in Plain Sight: https://www.netflix.com/title/81000864 


    19 March 2019, 12:00 pm
  • 1 hour 12 minutes
    Our Fave TV Couples

     In this episode Esther and Erica share their 3 favorite TV couples - who they think have the ingredients for a successful marriage (with some debate of course).


    *Spoiler Alert: the shows are linked below so don't click the link if you don't want to know the picks yet!*

    --The 'Good Enough' Couple

    --The 'Has The Potential To Go The Distance' Couple

    --The 'All Time Favorite' Couple

    5 March 2019, 1:00 pm
  • 30 minutes 17 seconds
    Getting to know Erica

     As we settle into our second season of the podcast, Esther and Erica finally decide it's time you get to know more about them! Tune in to find out what makes Erica Turner, LMFT really tick. 


    Here are Erica's most influential books: 


    The History of Love, Nicole Krauss - https://www.amazon.com/dp/0393328627/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_U_cIlACb4TJ31FH


    The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Milan Kundera - https://www.amazon.com/dp/0061148520/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_U_KDlACb8BVSAH6 


    Becoming Attached, Robert Karen - https://www.amazon.com/dp/0195115015/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_U_FJlACbD6TRQPE


    Middlemarch, George Eliot - https://www.amazon.com/dp/1853262374/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_U_OLlACbB96CYRC

    19 February 2019, 1:00 pm
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