In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss things we do that may seem weird to the world but allow us to be different in our marriages than the struggling marriages we all see around us. These are decisions we’ve each made that may seem unique but allow us to strengthen our marriages.

Scriptures:

Romans 12:2

1 Peter 2:11

Philippians 3:20-21

2 Timothy 2:4

Resources:

Podcast & Blog Post - 5 Weird Decisions that Make My Marriage Awesome

Questions to Discuss:

1. What are the things you do in your marriage that make you different than the marriages of the world? (Romans 12:2)

2. Where do you see your marriage blending in with the marriages of the world/non-Christian marriages?

3. Would your non-Christian friends look at your marriage and see something unique or different?

Do you and your spouse have inside jokes, traditions, or rituals that make your marriage unique and build a culture of exclusivity in your marriage? In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss the importance of building a strong culture in your marriage that makes it different than any other marriage on the planet.

Scriptures:

Genesis 2:24-25

Revelation 2:4

Proverbs 5:18

Resources:

Blog Post - How Inside Jokes And Rituals Can Strengthen Your Marriage

Discussion Questions:

1. What are some of your inside jokes or rituals in your marriage?

2. How can you build the culture of your marriage? What are the things that are like glue that bond your marriage together?

Everyone of us struggles with temptation—even Jesus faced temptations! What are the temptations we need to avoid that can wreck our marriage? And how is marriage uniquely designed so that we can help each other flee from temptations?

Scriptures:

Proverbs 5

Proverbs 18:8

Proverbs 13:20

1 Peter 1:16

Questions to Discuss:

1. What does it look like for you to flee from temptation?

2. What temptations do you face? How can your spouse help you?

3. How can you move the line, magnify the consequences, and map out your escape?

4. What would be helpful for you to confess to your spouse and to your community to help you with your temptations?

Resources:

Book - Think Ahead: 7 Decisions You Can Make Today for the God-Honoring Life You Want Tomorrow, by Craig Groeschel

On this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek and Scott have an authentic and honest conversation with Aaron Smith from the ministry Marriage After God. We discuss pornography, intimacy issues, and the challenges many couples face. Aaron and his wife Jennifer hope to inspire individuals to draw closer to God and their spouse as they chase boldly after God’s purpose for their life together.

Scriptures:

Hebrews 4:15

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Questions to Discuss:

1. How are you and your spouse doing at consistently praying together?

2. What’s one step you and your spouse can take to pray together on a more consistent basis?

Resources:

Aaron & Jennifer Smith’s Website – Marriage After God

The Smiths new book – The Marriage Gift: 365 Prayers for Our Marriage

Aaron and Jennifer Smith’s Marriage Podcast – Marriage After God

In our culture, it’s extremely common for married people to have celebrity crushes—studies say 80% of married men and women have celebrity crushes. Does that make it okay for you or your spouse to have a celebrity crush? Should you have crushes on anyone besides your spouse?

Scriptures:

Proverbs 5:18-19

Romans 12:1-2, 13:14

Ephesians 5:3

1 Corinthians 6:18

Questions to Discuss:

Who’s the most famous person you’ve ever met? Why do you think we obsess about celebrities?

Why do you think people believe it’s acceptable to have a celebrity crush but not okay to have a crush on non-celebrities?

Tell your spouse what you love about them and then go crush on them!

We have an enemy who likes to feed us lies about marriage, temptation, and God’s design for relationships. The enemy actively tries to destroy our marriages, but as followers of Christ, the One we serve and follow is greater! We hope you’re encouraged by this new episode of More Than Roommates.

Scriptures:

1 Peter 5:8

John 10:10

1 Corinthians 13:5

Romans 5:8

Resources:

Book – The Screwtape Letters, by C.S. Lewis

Questions to Discuss:

1. Did you and your spouse write letters to each other during dating and engagement?

2. What are some of the lies you believe about yourself and about marriage?

3. What are some things that your spouse does ‘right’—focus on keeping track of what they do right and not wrong/annoying.

4. What are the times when you tend to be the most susceptible to believing lies or engaging in conflict with your spouse?

While this may not be the story for most of our marriages, polyamorous relationships (multiple romantic relationships with the consent of all involved) are gaining traction in culture. What do you need to know about polyamory and how can you protect your marriage?

Scriptures:

Isaiah 4:1

1 Peter 5:8

John 10:10

Resources:

Podcast – The Briefing with Albert Mohler – February 15, 2024

Book – Get Married, by Brad Wilcox

Article – “Couple to Throuple” Normalizes Polyamory, by Jim Denison

Questions to Discuss:

1. What are some ways you can “water your own garden” and pour into your own marriage?

2. Take a few moments to pray that God would protect your marriage from any polyamorous desires and pray the same for the marriages of your close friends and family.

3. Think about what you engage with in books, TV, and movies. How can these resources potentially fuel your desires in a harmful way? Discuss with your spouse.

In this episode of More Than Roommates, we interview Counselor and Author Christa Hardin about her book and work with the enneagram. The enneagram is a helpful resource to help you learn more about yourself, your spouse, and your interactions in marriage and today we discuss how it can help you strengthen your marriage.

Scripture:

1 Peter 3:7

Resources:

Christa’s Book – Enneagram in Marriage, by Christa Hardin

Christa’s Podcast – The Enneagram and Marriage Podcast

Christa’s Website – Enneagram and Marriage and Follow Christa on Instagram

Questions to Discuss:

What is your enneagram number? Your spouse’s?

How is the enneagram a helpful tool to help you understand yourself and your spouse in a deeper way?

What’s one practical way you can serve and encourage your spouse today in their unique wiring?

In Part 2 of this series on being a learner in marriage, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss different ways we can all learn in marriage and what we're each learning in our own marriages currently.

Scripture:

1 Peter 3:7

James 1:22-25

Resources:

Blog Post - Do You And Your Spouse Have Teachable And Humble Hearts In Marriage?

Book – The 5 Love Languages, by Gary Chapman

Questions to Discuss:

1. How do you learn? What kind of learner are you?

2. What is something you are learning in marriage right now?

3. What’s one way, today, you can choose to intentionally learn more about your spouse?

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss what they did and didn’t learn in premarital counseling. Whether engaged or married for decades, we hope today’s new episode encourages and challenges you in your marriage.

Scriptures:

Proverbs 18:2

James 1:19

1 Corinthians 7:28

Resources:

Book – Tim Keller, The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God

Book – Scott Kedersha, Ready or Knot? 12 Conversations Every Couple Needs to Have before Marriage

Podcast – Episode 35 – How to Identify the Four Negative Horsemen of Communication and Conflict

Podcast – Episode 12 – How to Identify Negative Communication Patterns

Questions to Discuss:

When’s the last time you were really unprepared for something?

What are you glad you learned in premarital counseling?

What do you wish you had learned in premarital counseling?

Multiple studies and articles show that the average couple talks to each other for only twenty minutes per week. In this episode, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss practical ways to make time in your marriage to connect and communicate with each other. All healthy couples might intentionally fight for time together.

Scriptures:

Colossians 3:12-14

Matthew 18:15-17

Ephesians 4:29

Resources:

Blog Post - Do you talk more than the average couple?

Questions to Discuss:

1. Are you an internal or external processor? How about your spouse?

2. What are some ways you and your spouse can increase the amount of time you communicate with each other every week?

3. What consumes your thoughts right now? Discuss with your spouse.