You’ve seen the headlines, maybe even watched the documentary—but what’s missing from the noise surrounding Lily Phillips’ viral stunt is a truly nuanced conversation. In this nearly four-hour deep dive, we strip away the sensationalism to uncover the layers of complexity behind one of the most polarizing stories of the year. This isn’t about villainizing or victimizing. It’s about holding the tension of opposites, the messy intersection of choice, consequence, and survival. From the logistical chaos of Lily’s 100-men challenge to the emotional toll she could no longer hide, we leave no moment unexamined.

What you’ll hear in this episode:

    • A close look at sex as self-harm: How societal narratives and personal trauma intersect in ways that shape our most intimate choices.

    • The myth of empowerment: Is the modern feminist ethos failing us? And what does empowerment look like when it’s wrapped in performance and commodification?

    • Dissociation and identity: Through Lily’s own words, we unpack the ways detachment becomes a coping mechanism—and a tool for survival.

This isn’t just about Lily. It’s a reflection on the systems we’ve built, the narratives we perpetuate, and the ways we consume each other in a hyper-connected world. If you’re looking for an unflinching, human-centered take that challenges the way we think about agency, exploitation, and empowerment, this is the conversation you’ve been waiting for.

Click here to watch Josh Pieters’ original YouTube documentary.

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In this episode, we’re exploring why more of us are forging our own spiritual paths, stepping away from organized religion and venturing into uncharted territories. We'll examine how this shift empowers us, yet also opens the door to self-deception and the allure of superficial, commercialized experiences disguised as spiritual enlightenment. With the rise of digital platforms, spirituality has never been more accessible or more customizable. From WitchTok rituals at midnight to quick-fix meditation apps, and Instagram influencers who mix timeless wisdom with modern hustle—it’s all just a click away. But in this vast digital landscape, how do we discern what’s genuinely transformative from what’s merely trendy? It's crucial to navigate this space with a critical eye. The freedom to choose our spiritual beliefs also exposes us to the risk of self-deception. How do we keep our spiritual compass steady, avoiding the pitfalls of commercialized enlightenment and superficial experiences?

We're cutting through the noise to see what spirituality really looks like in the internet age. We’ll explore how this shift toward personal spiritual journeys can empower us, yet also leave us vulnerable to the shallow allure of the spiritual marketplace. If you've ever questioned the authenticity of your spiritual journey or wondered if you're evolving or just ensnared in attractive narratives, this episode is for you. Let’s dig deep and get real about what it means to seek enlightenment in our digital world.

TIME STAMPS:

 00:00 – 29:05.45: PART 1 (Exploration of modern spirituality's resurgence, balancing individual spirituality with discernment, understanding disenchantment and re-enchantment, rise of personalized spiritual practices via platforms like WitchTok, and historical shifts away from institutional religion towards more personal spiritual experiences.)

29:05.45 – 01:01:42.02: PART 2 (Discussion on digital spirituality's risks including echo chambers, misinformation, and commercialization; exploring self-deception and the dangers of trivial spiritual practices in online spaces; strategies for balancing digital exploration with credible guidance; tips for discernment and critical thinking in spiritual content; envisioning a balanced digital spiritual framework that supports genuine growth.)

Enjoyed this episode? Explore more as a Premium Submarine. Dive deep into hundreds of hours of ad-free exclusive content and full-length episodes on Patreon, including my original BPD recovery series, guided meditations, and much more. Click here to preview the premium collections you’ll unlock access to for as little as a couple of cups of coffee a month. Learn more and join at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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The early internet was chaos—a digital Wild West with no rules, no boundaries, and no protection. It was a breeding ground for predators, a place where manipulation could flourish unseen. Millennials were the first generation to grow up online, left to navigate this unregulated landscape with no roadmap. We were told to look out for the creepy man in the van, but no one warned us about what happens when the man doesn’t need a van—when he’s behind a screen, building trust in ways no one knew to look for.

In this episode of Back From the Borderline, I share my personal story of walking the edge of the music industry’s darkest realities—an experience that mirrors the cultural reckoning sparked by recent allegations against Sean “Diddy” Combs and Jay-Z. These stories aren’t isolated. They reflect how systemic power, celebrity worship, and the internet combined to create a perfect storm, leaving young people vulnerable in ways we’re only now beginning to understand.

We’ll unravel how a culture that glamorized power and silence enabled these dynamics to thrive. It wasn’t just the internet or the industry—wider society had no problem with the way young women were sexualized and exploited, shrugging it off as the price of ambition or desire. Our parents may not have seen the full scope of what was happening, but the culture around them did—and stayed quiet. Now, decades later, the same generation that told us to stay silent is feigning outrage over the very scripts they helped normalize.

This is a story about more than individual predators. It’s about systems designed to protect the powerful and the cultural blind spots that let exploitation flourish in plain sight. It’s also about how those systems are starting to crack. The same internet that once made us easy prey is now a tool for exposing the rot, amplifying survivors’ voices, and shining light on the shadows that have lingered too long.

There’s no neat resolution here. But if anything, this conversation is a reminder: We were set up to believe nothing was wrong, and waking up to that is the first step toward reclaiming what was taken from us.

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In this episode of "Anatomy of Evil," I peel back the velvet curtain of the Victorian era to reveal the disturbing world of H.H. Holmes, America’s first documented serial killer. His story isn't just a tale of murder and deception—it's a harrowing journey into the complexities of the human psyche. As we traverse the cobblestone streets of 19th century Chicago, I delve into Holmes's early life, exploring how a combination of societal pressures, inherent cunning, and emotional detachment molded a charming young boy into a master manipulator. From his upbringing during the paradoxical Victorian era—a time obsessed with both scientific progress and the macabre—to the pivotal moments that sparked his descent into infamy, we uncover the layers of influence that shaped his dual life.

The heart of our exploration beats within the walls of the infamous "Murder Castle," a labyrinthine structure of Holmes's own design. Here, his darkest impulses were unleashed, turning adaptive survival strategies into lethal traps for his unsuspecting victims. As we dissect Holmes's methods and the chilling ease with which he lured his prey, a critical question emerges: How did society’s fascination with the grotesque and the unknown feed into Holmes’s narrative, and what does this macabre curiosity reveal about our own?

This episode is more than a historical recount; it's a deep dive into the psyche of a man who was a product of his time yet disturbingly ahead of it. By understanding Holmes's life and crimes, we confront uncomfortable truths about the potential for evil within all societal frameworks. Join me as we journey through the dark corridors of history, examining how the shadows of the Victorian era mirror today's societal challenges. It's an exploration that promises not only to captivate but also to enlighten, urging us to remain vigilant against the darkness that can so easily grow in the unwatched corners of society.

TIME STAMPS:

 05:23.84 – 42:57.70: PART 1 (Explore H.H. Holmes's Victorian upbringing, his charismatic yet manipulative nature from an early age, and the development of his sinister survival strategies amidst a backdrop of rigid societal norms and emerging sciences.)

 42:57.70 – 01:21:08.88: PART 2 (Delve into Holmes's infamous crimes from the construction of the Murder Castle to his psychological profile as a serial killer, and examine the media's role in sensationalizing his actions, reflecting on Victorian society and its influence on modern true crime fascination.)

Enjoyed this episode? Explore more as a Premium Submarine. Dive deep into hundreds of hours of ad-free exclusive content and full-length episodes on Patreon, including my original BPD recovery series, guided meditations, and much more. Click here to preview the premium collections you’ll unlock access to for as little as a couple of cups of coffee a month. Learn more and join at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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If you’re not paying for the product, you are the product.” This incisive observation, often attributed to Andrew Lewis, lays bare the unsettling reality of our digital age. In this episode, we dissect Jaron Lanier’s book, "Ten Arguments for Deleting Your Social Media Accounts Right Now", uncovering how these platforms exploit our behaviors and data for profit.

Lanier, a pioneer in virtual reality and a vocal critic of Silicon Valley, exposes the manipulative architectures of social media that commodify our attention and influence our perceptions. We explore how these digital landscapes are meticulously engineered to foster dependency, distort self-worth, and erode authentic human connections.

This conversation challenges us to confront the pervasive influence of social media on our consciousness and societal norms. By examining Lanier’s compelling arguments, we consider the profound implications of our online engagements and the potential liberation found in reclaiming our digital autonomy. Prepare to question the true cost of “free” services and to envision a more intentional relationship with technology—one that honors personal sovereignty and fosters genuine connection.

Resources:

✧ Ten Arguments for Deleting Your Social Media Accounts Right Now by Jaron Lanier

✧ The Social Dilemma (Netflix Documentary released in 2020)

✧ Ground News (news platform that flags media bias)

Enjoyed this episode? Explore more as a Premium Submarine. Dive deep into hundreds of hours of ad-free exclusive content and full-length episodes on Patreon, including my original BPD recovery series, guided meditations, and much more. Click here to preview the premium collections you’ll unlock access to for as little as a couple of cups of coffee a month. Learn more and join at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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What's shaping our identities today? It seems like 'trauma' is the word on everyone's lips. From personal battles to cultural debates, the concept has infiltrated our conversations and our consciousness. But when did our traumas start defining us? In this episode, inspired by a revealing interview from the Financial Times with Bessel van der Kolk, we unravel how trauma is not just a personal ordeal but a cultural phenomenon that's shaping our very fabric.

Van der Kolk, a pioneering psychiatrist whose life's work has centered on understanding trauma, argues that our darkest experiences do more than just linger—they shape our identity. Through his insights, we'll explore the profound impact that trauma has on our personal lives and societal structures. From childhood adversities to the collective traumas of societies, van der Kolk’s perspectives challenge us to rethink our approaches to mental health. Diving deeper, this episode examines van der Kolk's critiques of modern psychiatric methods and his advocacy for alternative healing modalities. Why does he believe that traditional talk therapies often fall short, and how might practices like MDMA-assisted therapy or yoga offer more profound healing? We'll dissect the science and the stories behind these methods, understanding their potential to rewrite the narratives of trauma in our bodies and minds.

Moreover, we connect these themes to broader societal shifts witnessed in recent years—from the isolation heightened by digital communication to the global rise of trauma as a ubiquitous topic. How has our understanding of trauma changed in the wake of the pandemic and social media's ascendancy? What does this mean for our future as individuals and communities trying to heal? Join me as we navigate the treacherous waters of trauma with Bessel van der Kolk, whose insights challenge us to not just recognize but truly transform our wounds into wisdom. This episode isn’t just about understanding the scars that trauma leaves; it's about learning how to rise above them. How do we acknowledge the pain without letting it anchor our entire existence? How do we move from being victims of our past to architects of our future? Tune in as we explore these poignant questions, discovering pathways not just to survive but to thrive beyond our past pains.

✧ Source Article: Psychiatrist Bessel van der Kolk: ‘When trauma becomes your identity, that’s a dangerous thing’ via the Financial Times

Enjoyed this episode? Explore more as a Premium Submarine. Dive deep into hundreds of hours of ad-free exclusive content and full-length episodes on Patreon, including my original BPD recovery series, guided meditations, and much more. Click here to preview the premium collections you’ll unlock access to for as little as a couple of cups of coffee a month. Learn more and join at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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You are about to step into a liminal space—a threshold between the seen and unseen, the known and the infinite. What you will hear is not merely words but a vibration, a key that unlocks the forgotten corridors of your soul. This is an invocation, an initiation, a whisper from the eternal. Whether you listen in stillness or on a walk, in deep meditation or while you sleep, these messages are designed to work within you, speaking to the layers of your being both conscious and unconscious. They will not tell you what to think but guide you to remember. Those with the eyes to see and the ears to hear will find the doorway waiting. Will you walk through?

Disclaimer: This episode is a freely offered audio experience, created with the intention of serving the highest good. To honor its purpose, all ads have been disabled, ensuring it remains a pure and uninterrupted space for reflection and transformation. May it bring clarity, peace, and inspiration to all who listen.

Closing song: Devi Prayer – Hymn to the Divine Mother by Craig Pruess and Ananda Devi

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You’ve likely heard variations of the phrase: 'Wow, you must not have received enough love as a child,' or 'you’re acting like you were never held as a baby.' It’s a common enough saying—often delivered as a joke—but it actually hints at a deeper truth we all recognize: our childhood experiences shape how we love and seek connection as adults.But what if the real story runs much deeper than we think? What if many of our romantic struggles aren't just personal issues or emotional wounds, but are also woven into the very fabric of our society's expectations and the scripts handed down by our caregivers, which were likely given to them by theirs? In this episode, I'll take you on a journey to uncover the unconscious ways in which our earliest needs, unmet by our caregivers, set the stage for how we pursue love and intimacy. We'll explore how cultural narratives further embed these patterns, often steering us into cycles of seeking the parental love we lacked through our partners.

By zooming out, we'll also examine how these personal patterns extend into the way we parent our own children, unconsciously continuing the cycle of emotional deprivation. This isn’t just about understanding relationship dynamics; it’s about connecting the dots between our individual emotional blueprints and broader societal structures. You’ll leave this episode with a profound understanding of the root causes of your relationship issues—insights that go beyond mainstream mental health discourse, shining a light on the shadows of your emotional past and generational wounds to foster real healing and change. Tune in to discover how to break free from the chains of your upbringing and rewrite your script for love and connection. This is more than an episode; it’s a key to unlocking the deeper truths about your emotional world. Don’t miss out—your journey to deeper, more conscious relationships starts here.

Enjoyed this episode? Explore more as a Premium Submarine. Dive deep into hundreds of hours of ad-free exclusive content and full-length episodes on Patreon, including my original BPD recovery series, guided meditations, and much more. Click here to preview the premium collections you’ll unlock access to for as little as a couple of cups of coffee a month. Learn more and join at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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Have you ever considered that what you see and experience every day might not be the whole truth? What if the reality we interact with is just a simplified version, like a veil pulled over our eyes? This is the provocative idea from Donald D. Hoffman, a cognitive psychologist who believes our perceptions are more about survival than seeing the truth. First, we dive into Hoffman's theory. It suggests that our sense of space and time is similar to icons on a computer screen—designed not to reveal the full complexity of reality, but to help us navigate life effectively. Why do our brains do this? We’ll explore the evolutionary benefits that might be driving this phenomenon. Then, imagine handling life like you would a narrative video game, such as Red Dead Redemption, where every choice you make shapes the story. What if we viewed our daily choices with the same strategic importance? We'll look into how this mindset could help us be less reactive and more proactive, potentially reshaping our life’s narrative. Next, we'll tackle how this view could fundamentally alter our approach to deep personal struggles. Could understanding life as a game with hidden rules offer new ways to deal with chronic feelings of emptiness or even suicidal thoughts? Finally, we link Hoffman's modern insights with ancient teachings from mystery schools that believed we only see parts of reality. As modern physics starts to sound similar to these age-old beliefs, it's clear that our understanding of the universe is still evolving. Are you ready to question the reality you’ve always known? Let’s peel back the layers together.

TIME STAMPS: 

00:00 – 26:12.26: PART 1 (Exploring Donald D. Hoffman's theory that perceptions of space and time are like a virtual reality interface, with insights into how viewing life decisions as strategic choices in a game could reshape our understanding and responses to everyday challenges.)

 26:17.55 – 52:42.39: PART 2 (Delving into how Hoffman’s theory impacts our approach to psychological suffering, exploring life as a game for meaningful engagement, and drawing parallels between modern physics and ancient teachings that suggest our understanding of the universe is fundamentally incomplete.)

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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Have you ever found yourself neglecting essential needs like eating, drinking, or moving your body, only to spiral into a state of reactivity and emotional turmoil? You’re not alone. In this episode, we’ll delve into how trauma and past experiences shape our self-care habits, leading to hyper-control, emotional numbing, and a harmful disconnect between mind and body. Join me as we explore the often self-sabotaging relationship we have with our own bodies. I'll share my personal journey—a journey that may resonate deeply with you—revealing how self-care can morph into self-punishment, leaving us feeling drained and detached. Through my struggles and recent epiphanies, we’ll uncover the transformative power of Somatic Experiencing and bodywork in healing these divides. By the end of this episode, you'll gain valuable insights on bridging the gap, reconnecting with your body, and approaching self-care with compassion and kindness.

Click here to read the original article on Substack.

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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I never planned to create a part two.

When I released “This Isn’t About UFOs, It’s About You,” I thought I was done. I had shared everything I felt called to share—synchronicities, historical insights, and my own encounter with the phenomenon. It was raw, personal, and honestly, I wasn’t sure how people would respond. What happened next blew me away. The feedback poured in—more than I’ve ever received for anything I’ve created. Listeners told me it shifted something deep inside them, helping them see themselves, and the world, in a new light. But it wasn’t just that. Something else started happening.

In the days after the episode, my life turned into a web of synchronicities and uncanny moments—threads I couldn’t ignore. It felt like the phenomenon itself was responding, pulling me further into the mystery, asking me to keep going. Names appeared in dreams. Signs showed up in the most unexpected places. Even the smallest details seemed to align, pointing toward a bigger picture I knew I had to explore.This episode is the result of that unraveling. It’s the next chapter in the story, but also a deeper dive into the threads that began to reveal themselves—threads that connect us all. If you’ve ever felt like there’s something just beneath the surface of everyday life, waiting for you to notice, this is your invitation. Let’s follow the breadcrumbs together.

Here’s what we’ll explore:

• The Butterfly Effect of Synchronicity: How one small action—recording and releasing an episode—unleashed a flood of connections and validations that continue to unfold.

• Esclarmonde de Foix and the Magdalene Lineage: A spiritual and ancestral thread weaving across centuries, from the Cathars to the Divine Feminine.

• The Transformative Power of the Cave: How stepping into darkness—literal and metaphorical—is the path to profound rebirth, inspired by Magdalene’s time in the sacred caves of France.

• History’s Echoes in Our Modern World: Why the shadows of the Inquisition—control, division, and fear—are still alive today and what we must learn to break free.

• Pluto in Aquarius and the Cosmic Alchemy of Change: The astrological shifts guiding this moment of collective and personal transformation, and why they’re calling us to embrace the unknown.

• The Alchemical Process of Becoming: How destruction can pave the way for rebirth, and why you might be feeling like the caterpillar dissolving into goo in its chrysalis.

Episode Timestamps:

• Intro + Feedback from Episode 1: 00:00 – 11:52
• Storytime: Personal Synchronicities After Part One: 11:37 – 33:03
• Part 1: Chaos Theory and the Butterfly Effect: 33:03 – 38:03
• Part 2: Esclarmonde’s Call and the White Dove Synchronicity: 38:03 – 47:59
• Part 3: The Magdalene Connection: 48:01 – 01:05:07
• Part 4: Historical Echoes and the Inquisition of the Soul: 01:05:07 – 01:20:21
• Part 5: The Magdalene as Antidote (The Cosmic Marriage of Energies): 01:20:21 – 01:32:39
• Part 6: Pluto in Aquarius: Alchemy, Revolution, and the Gatekeepers of Normal: 01:32:39 – 01:38:56
• Conclusion + Invocation: 01:38:56 – End

Dive deeper into my work at backfromtheborderline.com.

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