When did caring become “cringe”? In a world that champions irony over sincerity and detachment over vulnerability, it seems like not giving a f*ck has become the ultimate form of self-protection. In this episode, we’re diving into why our generation is retreating behind a wall of cool indifference, even as we live in an era of hyper-connectivity.

Our digital lives are filled with connections, yet the sense of isolation is palpable. Social media, once a platform for expression, has morphed into a space where we mask our true selves behind curated personas. What are we really hiding? And why does it feel safer to withdraw from genuine interactions than to risk being labeled as “too much” or “trying too hard”? Beneath this facade of detachment lies a deeper struggle—a quiet conflict between the desire for authenticity and a culture that treats emotional openness as a weakness.

We’ll explore how this paradox shapes everything from our relationships to our mental health. What happens when vulnerability is dismissed as “uncool,” and how does this affect our inner worlds and our approach to self-worth? Together, we’ll cut through the noise, looking at how embracing depth and caring might be the most radical act we can undertake.

TIME STAMPS:

00:00 – 26:26.13: PART 1 (Exploring societal shifts towards emotional indifference, the complexities of modern romantic relationships, and the cultural drive for aloofness that impacts personal development and genuine connections.)

26:26.13 – 51:29.91: PART 2 (Investigating social media’s role in mental health discourse, the conflicts between seeking meaningful experiences versus societal indifference, the repercussions of hedonism on personal and societal well-being, and the hidden coping struggles of young adults.)

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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Do you find yourself constantly questioning your feelings in a relationship, or feel the need to check your partner’s phone to ease your doubts? Maybe you seek reassurance from friends whenever something feels “off.” These patterns can be exhausting and isolating, but they’re more common than you might realize—and they often have deeply rooted origins.

In this episode, we’re exploring behaviors commonly labeled as Relationship OCD, or ROCD. But instead of viewing these as disorders, we’ll reframe them as adaptive responses—patterns we developed in past environments where we may have felt insecure or abandoned. These behaviors, while once protective, may now stand in the way of genuine connection and trust.

We’ll dive into the roots of these relationship anxieties, tracing how early experiences shape our attachment styles and influence how we love and connect. This episode isn’t about diagnosing yourself; it’s about recognizing shared patterns and finding new ways to relate. I’ll walk you through the ROCD cycle, offering insights from depth psychology to help you understand why these behaviors arise and, most importantly, how to interrupt them.

Alongside these insights, you’ll gain practical tools to break free from cycles of doubt, build self-awareness, and create space for trust and intimacy. By tuning in, you’re taking a step toward more secure, fulfilling relationships and moving away from self-sabotage. This is a journey to understanding your emotions and behaviors on a deeper level, with the aim of building relationships rooted in clarity and confidence.

Enjoyed this episode? Explore more as a Premium Submarine. Dive deep into hundreds of hours of ad-free exclusive content and full-length episodes on Patreon, including my original BPD recovery series, guided meditations, and much more. Click here to preview the premium collections you’ll unlock access to for as little as a couple of cups of coffee a month. Learn more and join at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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Drama doesn’t just happen to us—we unknowingly play a part in it. Living in a cycle of constant conflict can feel like being stuck in quicksand—every move seems to pull you deeper. It’s exhausting, isolating, and can erode your relationships over time. In this episode, we break down Dr. Stephen Karpman’s Drama Triangle, a framework developed in the 1960s that reveals how we get trapped in recurring cycles of conflict. Whether as the Victim, Rescuer, or Persecutor, these roles shape our interactions and fuel the chaos that can leave us feeling exhausted, ashamed, and isolated.

We’ll dive deep into Karpman’s work, exploring how the rise of humanistic and group therapy in the 1960s gave birth to this powerful concept. You’ll learn how the Drama Triangle plays out in your relationships—whether with family, friends, or even in your own self-talk. More importantly, I’ll guide you through strategies to break free from these roles, offering actionable steps to help you unlock a more peaceful, drama-free life. Imagine what it would feel like to live without constant conflict—a life where you no longer feel trapped in toxic cycles. That freedom is within reach, and in this episode, we’ll explore how you can take the first steps toward it.

TIME STAMPS:

00:00 – 35:31.51: PART 1 (Introduction to the Drama Triangle; Development and psychological insights by Dr. Stephen Karpman; Overview of the 1960s' psychological landscape; Detailed roles analysis and their interactions within the triangle)

 35:36.70 – 01:18:56.59: PART 2 (Exploration of the Drama Triangle in family dynamics through a detailed fictional scenario; Comparison between the Drama and Codependency Triangles and their implications; Strategies for escaping the Drama Triangle; Building healthier interpersonal dynamics and emphasizing personal responsibility)

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Have we created a world where one wrong word can cast you out? In this episode, we explore how today’s culture of moral judgment can feel like a modern-day witch hunt—a relentless search for flaws and “wrong” opinions that leaves us guarded and afraid to speak openly. Without realizing it, we may be falling into the same patterns of suspicion and punishment that once fueled historical persecutions.

We’ll examine how this mindset seeps into our relationships, turning conversations into careful negotiations rather than genuine exchanges. The pressure to conform can isolate us, breed self-doubt, and prevent real connection. But it doesn’t have to be this way.

Through this discussion, you’ll discover ways to escape these cycles of judgment, letting go of the fear that keeps you silent. Imagine the freedom to speak without second-guessing, to connect without suspicion. It’s time to reclaim open dialogue and build spaces where honesty can thrive again.

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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What is it about women in horror that both fascinates and frightens us? This Halloween, we dig into the roots of the "Monstrous Feminine," exploring why these unsettling portrayals linger in our minds. In this episode, we examine the link between fear and femininity, looking at how Freud and Lacan’s theories laid the groundwork for horror’s portrayal of women as both alluring and repellent.

We’ll break down how The Witch, Midsommar, and Black Swan expose cultural pressures around female identity, while Jennifer’s Body challenges horror norms by centering female friendship and agency. And with Promising Young Woman, we confront society’s unease with women’s anger and desire for revenge. Drawing on Laura Mulvey’s concept of the male gaze, we’ll discuss how cinema often turns women into objects of both desire and fear, reflecting deeper societal anxieties. We also explore how historical stigmas around women’s mental health have pathologized natural emotions, often with damaging effects.

Tune in to see how horror films both mirror and distort our ideas of gender, madness, and power. This episode invites you to rethink what horror tells us about the world’s fear—and fascination—with the “monstrous” feminine.

✧ Click here to buy “The Monstrous-Feminine” by Barbara Creed

TIME STAMPS:

00:00 – 33:15.73: Part 1 (Unpacking Psychoanalytic Roots and Mythological Origins of the Monstrous Feminine)

33:15.72 – 01:08:52.49: Part 2 (Exploring Barbara Creed’s Monstrous Feminine, Lacan’s “Other,” and the Male Gaze through Films)

01:08:52.49 – end: Part 3 (Connecting the Monstrous Feminine to Female Madness, BPD, Hysteria, and Modern Implications)

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do you find yourself lying awake at night, terrified of death, paralyzed by the concept of forever, and gripped by the fear of losing the people you love? Many of us do everything in our power to distract ourselves from life’s big existential realities and questions. But what if this very denial contributes to our most painful mental health symptoms?

In this episode, we’ll explore the wisdom of 'The Five Remembrances' from Buddhist philosophy, revealing the inescapable truths of human existence that we often avoid. We'll uncover how embracing these truths can lead us from existential terror to a grounded acceptance of life's impermanence. Together, we'll confront these fears and discover how facing life’s scariest truths can bring about the lasting inner peace and transformative change you’ve been longing for. If you're ready to move beyond superficial distractions and engage with the deeper questions of life but struggle to find anyone to talk to, this episode is for you. So, get comfy, settle in, and prepare to journey together toward understanding, acceptance, and a more meaningful existence through an exploration of life’s big questions.

Click here to read my original Substack article “laying awake at night wondering wtf the point is: how accepting life's hardest realities can transform your mental health."

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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Have you ever felt like your mental health struggles are being dismissed as just part of a 'mental health crisis' without anyone addressing the root causes? Do you sense there's a deeper story behind the psychological suffering of Millennials and Gen Z than what pharmaceutical ads and social media influencers are telling you? In this episode, I dive deep into these questions, exploring whether we're glorifying, glamorizing, and commercializing our psychological suffering to the point where we've lost our ability to overcome it.

In the first part of our discussion, I trace the evolution of mental health perceptions and treatments over the past century. We highlight key cultural and historical shifts that have shaped our current understanding, examine the impact of significant events like economic recessions, technological booms, and cultural revolutions, and discuss how economic pressures, academic demands, and the rise of social media have created a perfect storm of mental health challenges for younger generations.

The second part of the episode delves into the dynamics of resilience and parental influence. We explore how modern parenting styles, such as helicopter parenting, have influenced the perceived fragility of today’s youth. I unpack the irony of older generations labeling Millennials and Gen Z as 'snowflakes,' while their overprotective approaches may have contributed to this perceived lack of resilience. Additionally, we analyze how educational systems and the extension of adolescence impact maturity and mental health. We then turn a critical eye to the industrial-complex of mental health, examining the complicity of psychiatric institutions, pharmaceutical companies, and insurance providers. I highlight how these entities have commercialized mental distress and how recent criticisms of the serotonin hypothesis and other accepted 'scientific' bases reveal a crumbling legitimacy in our current mental health practices.

Finally, I encourage you to have a 'Neo' moment—awakening from the matrix of misleading labels and rediscovering your personal and collective power. I show you how to see beyond labels as fixed identities, using them instead as tools for navigating your mental health. With actionable insights, you’ll learn how to dismantle these limiting narratives and advocate for systemic changes, creating a path to genuine resilience and well-being.

TIME STAMPS:

00:00 – 43:57.57: Part 1 (Explores the cultural, historical, and socioeconomic factors impacting mental health among Millennials and Gen Z.)

44:02:96 – 01:29:48.75: Part 2 (Examines the dynamics of resilience, parental influence, and critiques the industrial-complex of mental health.)

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Have you ever felt like parts of your own story were out of your control? Did you know that you can use myths and fairy tales, along with their characters and symbols, to understand and transform your own recovery journey? In this episode, you’ll enter a world where ancient tales reveal modern truths, and the myths of old illuminate paths to healing and self-discovery. We’ll explore a timeless fairy tale that holds deep psychological insights: the Handless Maiden, with the adaptation of the story told in the episode inspired by Clarissa Pinkola Estes’ book ‘Women Who Run with the Wolves.’

We'll dissect the Handless Maiden's journey from innocence through betrayal to ultimate renewal. This tale is not just a narrative of hardship but a roadmap to recovery, especially for those dealing with the aftermath of childhood emotional neglect and trauma. We'll explore how the symbolic loss of the maiden's hands mirrors our own feelings of powerlessness and how her path to regaining them can inspire our personal healing journeys. By listening to this episode, you'll learn how to harness the power of myths and fairy tales to frame your own experiences of loss and recovery. I’ll provide practical tips on how to use these stories as tools for deep psychological insight, helping you externalize internal struggles and see your challenges through a transformative lens. Discover how embracing your narrative can be a powerful pathway to recovery and self-discovery. Don’t just hear a story—find your story within the story, and turn your life’s challenges into chapters of resilience and triumph.

Resource: Women Who Run with the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype by Clarissa Pinkola Estés

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Spoiler alert: understanding your attachment style (and everyone else’s for that matter) is not the magical key to solving all your relationship woes. In today’s episode, we’re diving headfirst into the world of attachment theory—a concept that’s taken over TikTok, Instagram, and even dating apps. But is it really the answer we think it is, or just another way to overthink our love lives into obsessive neurosis?

Attachment theory started in the 1950s with researchers John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, but lately, it feels like every creator under the sun is capitalizing on it to create short-form content that promises to decode our emotional baggage. We’ll explore why this theory has become the go-to for understanding relationships and whether it’s actually helping or just adding to our confusion. Are we really anxiously or avoidantly attached, or are we just in the wrong relationships? We’ll unpack the hype, reveal the potential pitfalls, and ask the tough questions: Are we pathologizing messy, complicated human experiences and masking real issues with these labels? How do we balance self-reflection with real-world actions to find healthier relationships? Get ready for a raw and real journey into the heart of attachment theory. We’re cutting through the noise to find out if this trend is a genuine breakthrough or just another way to complicate our love lives.

TIME STAMPS:

00:00 – 35:09.07: PART 1 (Introduction to attachment theory, its origins, key attachment styles – secure, anxious, avoidant, disorganized – and the shift from child-caregiver relationships to adult relationships.)

35:09.07 – 01:04:14.71: PART 2 (Exploration of the popularity and commercialization of attachment theory, potential issues such as self-deception and misdiagnosis, and practical advice for balancing self-reflection with real-world actions and gut feelings.)

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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Are you stuck in a cycle of self-reflection that seems to circle back rather than propel you forward? When does introspection stop being helpful? It's not uncommon to reach a point where you understand the contours of your past traumas and the gaps in your childhood, yet find yourself at a loss for how to step beyond this knowledge and truly transform your life. This episode is for those who are ready to break free from the endless loop of introspection and start crafting a new narrative—one that moves beyond past pains to a future filled with new possibilities. In this episode, we’ll explore the fine line between helpful self-examination and the kind that leads to isolation and inaction. We'll dissect how today's self-care-centric culture can inadvertently dampen our ability to engage fully with life and meaningfully connect with others. We'll also discuss how excessive introspection, whether pursued in therapy or through self-directed healing, can hinder our personal growth.

Gear up to learn how to recognize when you're over-indulging in introspection, discover strategies to harmonize internal reflection with active engagement in the world, and find practical ways to ensure your self-improvement efforts genuinely enhance your life and spur real, impactful change. This episode is essential listening for anyone on a quest for self-awareness, offering fresh insights that promise to transform your approach to personal development and recovery.

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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How often should you and your partner be having sex? Is there a magic number that signifies a healthy relationship? It’s easy to obsess over these questions, and sometimes, this fixation can even harm stable, loving partnerships. These concerns are amplified not only by idealized media portrayals but also by the underlying fear that we might not be living up to some invisible standard of a successful relationship. In this episode, I’m moving away from the perfect, passion-filled narratives that often dominate our screens and digital spaces. Instead, I'll delve into the true essence of intimacy—how it’s expressed, experienced, and nurtured in diverse relationships. I'll challenge the myths about how often couples 'should' be having sex and broaden the discussion to include a deeper, more nuanced understanding of desire, one that’s often glossed over by social media influencers and alarmist magazine articles warning that you’re not keeping things spicy enough in the bedroom.

This conversation is about breaking down the pressures and expectations that cloud our perceptions of intimacy and can sabotage perfectly healthy relationships. I'm here to empower you to communicate openly with your partner and redefine intimacy in ways that resonate with both your needs and desires, free from societal myths that falsely equate constant physical intimacy with relationship quality. By exploring different types of desire, you'll learn how to foster a connection that’s based not on frequency but on mutual satisfaction and deeper emotional bonds. Let’s throw those random stats and the so-called 'rules' about relationships in the trash where they belong. Settle in and get ready to redefine intimacy on your own terms.

✧ Click here to follow Shan Boodram on Instagram (@shanboodram) [source for the reel at the beginning of this episode]

TIME STAMPS:

00:00 – 40:37.45: Part 1 (Exploring societal pressures, media influences, empirical studies, medicalization of desire, and generational differences affecting perceptions of intimacy and sexual health.)

40:37.45 – 01:14:07.42: Part 2 (Delving into types of sexual desire, the reality of long-term intimacy, and the importance of aligning values and libido levels in relationships.)

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

acast+ https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.