Jordan Gray is a relationship coach who has written hundreds of articles that have been read by over 250 million people worldwide. He has worked with tens of thousands of clients via his programs, groups, and 1-on-1 coaching. 

He joins me on this episode to talk about how to get the most out of life as the challenges land on our doorstep. 

We discuss:

• Moving from bachelor to committed relationship
• Marriage has actually been great
• Dating takes a lot of energy!
• Finding someone who’s also a giver
• Each relationship is different, so relationship advice can’t be universal
• Look for a counterpoint to where you and your partner tend to go too far, for example with too much or too little structure.
• Fears of going into marriage: "what if things get worse and worse and I’m stuck?"
• The practice of addressing troubles in the relationship rather than just enduring them.
• Phases of life: dating and deeper relationships.
• Thresholds of deepening into a relationship.
• Preparing for parenthood.
• The benefits of becoming a generalist, of getting off the computer and chopping wood.
• City life vs. country life
• Giving up financial opportunities for the sake of heart and happiness.
• Relationship with money: between the poles of demonizing it and making it one’s god
• The importance of choosing friends who support your objectives.
• Solo therapy compared to group therapy.
• In parenting, offering children both safety and adventurous risk.
• How it can help children to see their parents work responsibly.
• How being a parent can limit available work time, but make it more potent.
• Screen addiction and parenthood.
• Countering screen addiction with finding a deeper purpose.

Links:

Jordan Gray’s website

Productivity course

The Level-Up Your Relationships Workshop

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dr. Manesh Girn is a postdoctoral neuroscientist and popular science content creator specializing in the neuroscience of psychedelic drugs. He currently works at the University of California, San Francisco, alongside psychedelic research pioneer Dr. Robin Carhart-Harris, where he conducts research on the neural mechanisms underlying the psychedelic experience and psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy.

In addition to his research, Manesh runs a popular digital platform on Instagram and YouTube called "The Psychedelic Scientist”, where he shares the latest findings in psychedelic science in a digestible and easy to understand way. 

In this episode, we discuss:

• Manesh's journey from head to heart, from bypassing emotions to inhabiting them.
• Emotion centred, body-focused therapy (beating pillows with weapons.)
• How Manesh got his start in psychedelic research.
• How an early psychedelic experience opened Manesh up to different takes on reality.
• Finding the support to go beyond intellect.
• The various healing/transformational modalities of:
  • breathwork
  • men’s groups
  • psychedelics
  • conscious relationship training
• How different psychedelics affect our brains differently.
• Neuroplasticity: how psychedelics can help change thought patterns.
• Psychedelics for those with with trauma and depression.
• The importance of support in psychedelic journeys
• Setting down a belief that life is intrinsically unsafe.
• Learning to recognize people and situations that are safe.
• Integrating psychedelic experiences for lasting change.
• The importance of intention before and after a psychedelic journey.
• Psychedelics as an aid to innovation.
• Psychedelics for people in positions of power.

Manesh’s Youtube

Manesh’s website

Manesh’s Instagram

Arka Brotherhood Men’s Community

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mark Groves, founder of Create The Love is a relationship expert, but he also believes in freedom of speech and thought, and is an advocate of personal sovereignty. During the recent pandemic, he began sharing what he was seeing in the people and institutions around him. His sharing on @itsmarkgroves and The Mark Groves Podcast was controversial, because any dissenting opinion at that time was censored and considered to be “unsafe”.

I personally appreciated the discourse that Mark was bringing, as I lacked the courage to be as bold as he was, despite agreeing with many of his questions. On this episode of the podcast, I discuss the pandemic, the lockdowns, and the hysteria that took over our society at that time.

In this episode, we dive into:

• The dangers of framing everything as a safety issue.

• Dehumanizing people during the pandemic.
• Data-based arguments about COVID-19 vaccines.
• Mass formation psychosis.
• Why PCR tests shouldn’t be used for diagnostic purposes.
• Unconsciously believing that healthy people are biological threats. 
• The wide scope of misinformation spread throughout the pandemic. 
• The anxiety, fear, and hysteria spearheading pandemic behavior.
• Family conflicts and getting “canceled” over COVID-19 dissent.
• COVID-19 and masks as an ideology vs evidence-based.

• Natural immunity is at least equal to vaccinated immunity.

• The exploitation of psychology and weaponization of belonging.

• Normalizing controlling people’s bodily autonomy.
• Censoring people, governments spreading misinformation, and the lack of critical thinking during the pandemic.
• Language is the first step to dehumanizing people in an out-group.
• Violating informed consent when getting vaccinated.
• How do we prevent divisiveness in the future?
• Healing begins with the acceptance of reality (that the unvaccinated were marginalized and demonized while being left out of society and losing their jobs, while the vaccine that was promised to end the pandemic didn’t, and Omicron did)
• Accountability without annihilation.
• Learning to speak your truth despite the inconvenience.
• Fighting for the freedom to disagree.

Links from this Episode

• Part 1 of This Episode
• Mark’s Website
• Mark’s Instagram 
• Masks
• Immunity
• Mass Formation Psychosis

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mark Groves is the founder of Create The Love, and host of the Mark Groves Podcast. Mark is on a mission to bridge the academic and the human, inviting people to explore the good, the bad, the downright ugly, and the beautiful sides of connection. His work empowers people to step into their power, transform the way they relate to themselves and others, and create authentic change in their lives.

Mark and I sit down on the coast of Tofino, Canada for a special two-part episode.

In part 1, we talk about fatherhood and parenthood. 

In this episode, we discuss:

• Fatherhood as a deeper window to look at where there is still work to be done on oneself.
• After having a child, what is most important?
• Old wounds and patterns that tend to arise during parenthood. 
• How intimacy dynamics tend to shift after having a child.
• The reasons why an uncomfortable number of couples divorce after the first year of a child’s life.
• Nurturing your feminine energy as a man. 
• Accessing discipline and discernment as a father.
• Upholding the ethical obligation to be successful. 
• Being purpose-driven as a man.
• The paradox of choice.
• The downsides to technology and access to mass communication.
• Consciously choosing every aspect of your life.
• Embracing a cultural initiation into manhood.
• What is toxic masculinity and why does it exist?
• Valuing mother and father roles in the family.
• Inflated egos and immaturity.
• What comes after ego dissolution?
• The benefits of taking time off work to support your new family.
• How fathers can support their own health after having a kid.
• The importance of talking to other men after having a child.
• The gift of being a parent and the gifts you receive from your child.
• And a question for Mark: Now that you have a kid, is it worth it? Would you recommend it?

Links from this Episode:

• Part 2 of This Episode (on C0.vid Hysteria) will come out in 2 weeks and links will be updated at that time.
• Mark’s Website
• Mark’s Instagram 
• Mark’s Podcast 
• Mark on YouTube
• Conscious Relationship Council - a live 12-week relationship training for men
• Arka Brotherhood - men's work.

Previous episodes with Mark:

• Evolving Man Podcast - Holding Space with Mark Groves
• Evolving Man Podcast - To Be A Man with Mark Groves

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Todd Youngs has been in continuous recovery from severe addiction and alcoholism since 2009. His personal path to recovery involved a combination of 12 step work, and his work with Ayahuasca. Todd now works intensively with others to help them achieve a life of satisfying and meaningful sobriety. His approach is eclectic and holistic drawing on the 12 Steps, CBT, MEI, and Mindfulness practice in order to deeply address the bio/psycho/social/spiritual aspects of addictive disorders.

Todd has worked extensively with Ayahuasca for over 14 years within a variety of communal and personalized settings. He is focussed on building bridges between the older treatment paradigm and newly emerging modalities that utilize Ayahuasca. He is the co-founder of Natura Care Programs.

Todd is often heard fondly referring to his own personal path of recovery as AAA+, or “Ayahuasca Assisted Alcoholics Anonymous:  A Roadside Service for broken-down, drug-addicted hippies”.

In this episode we dive into:

• How humans explore drugs to satisfy creative and spiritual yearnings. 
• The dark and light sides of psychedelics. 
• Todd’s wild addiction recovery story.
• Using pharmaceuticals to manage side effects of drug and alcohol use.
• Connecting to something bigger than yourself through ayahuasca.
• Todd’s journey of brewing his own ayahuasca in his mother’s basement.
• How ayahuasca helped Todd through 12-step recovery.
• The necessity of connection and accountability during recovery. 
• Family members seeing a change in Todd & Ben after ayahuasca journeys. 
• Healthy ways to incorporate the use of an altered state to transform your life.
• Therapeutic opportunities when taking psychedelics.
• Psychedelics vs therapy. 
• Are psychedelics the right path for you?
• Breaking down what the 12-week Natura Care Program looks like and why the 12 week model is advantageous.
• True recovery: Healing the root causes of addiction.
• Finding centeredness, calmness, joyfulness.
• Can you actually trust plant medicines?
• Ultra-conservatism vs. open-mindedness in recovery circles.
• Psychedelics in Recovery.

Links from this episode

• Natura Care Programs
• Psychedelics in Recovery
• Todd’s Website
• Ben’s Freedom from Addiction Circle
• Evolving Man Brotherhood Free-Trial on Circle

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dr. Scott Lyons is the author of the book “Addicted to Drama: Healing Dependency on Crisis and Chaos in Yourself and Others”. He joins me for a discussion about all addictions - from alcohol to sex to food, and of course drama - and how they are formed. We also talk about how to heal from addiction by addressing the root.

Scott also runs a Somatic Therapy school called The Embody Lab which offers fantastic training for coaches and healers. 

In this episode we dive into:

• The origins of addiction and how to define it (Disease or no disease?) 
• Medical model vs. Humanistic model view of addiction.
• The opposite of addiction is connection to self and others.
• Finding comfort in filling voids and dissociation.
• The deadliness of loneliness. 
• Why do we experience traumas differently?
• The defence mechanism of denial.
• The link between addiction and a fear of intimacy.
• What addicted to drama looks like? 
• Attachment to unnecessary turmoil and nervous system activation.
• Making sense vs. making sensation.
• How are you unconsciously creating childhood patterns in your adult life?
• Exaggerated responses vs. an inner sense of normalcy.
• Assessing currencies of love from childhood.
• The separation of process addictions and the necessities of being human.
• Disrupting your inner peace with the “revving reflex”.
• What does it look like to recover from addiction and heal?
• Building tolerance for ease and connection.
• Creating a narrative around withdrawal symptoms.
• Trauma lives in your nervous system and is a felt experience. 
• MDMA therapy and trauma.
• Is it possible to escape drama in the capitalist world we live in?
• How do you support someone who is addicted to drama?
• Mirror neuron responses.
• Taking responsibility for the role you play in relationships.

Links:

• Book - Addicted to Drama by Dr. Scott Lyons
• Scott's Somatic Training School - The Embody Lab
• Scott’s Website
• Scott’s Instagram
• Scott’s Facebook
• Scott’s YouTube
• The Freedom From Addiction Circle 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Sheleana Aiyana is an author, a poet, my wife and the mother of our child. She is author of the Canadian bestseller “Becoming The One” and the forthcoming journal under the same name, and the founder of Rising Woman where she brings tools for healing and transformation to millions of women.

She joins me on this episode for a candid conversation about our recent parenthood journey, the struggles we have had, and how we believe parents could be better supported (by their community, and themselves) to be the best parents they can be.

In this episode we dive into:

• Why a shocking number of couples break up within the first year of having a child.
• The challenges that emerge once you become parents. 
• The transformation of a relationship after the arrival of a child. 
• Addressing the common phrase, "Being a parent is the hardest thing in the world." 
• 50/50 parenting and the shifting roles and responsibilities as co-parents. 
• The normalcy of changes in intimacy and sex life after having a baby.
• Accessing and integrating relationship tools from the experts.
• Taking time to master your romantic and sexual relationship. 
• The goal of relationship work is not perfection. 
• Minimizers VS Maximizers
• Gender-specific support in navigating parenthood and relationships.
• Men’s biggest struggle when the responsibilities of marriage and family weigh him down.
• The feeling of being "touched out" as a mother.
• The resurgence of old family dynamics when building a family.
• Ben & Sheleana’s personal parenthood struggles and steps to overcome the challenges.
• Negativity in relationships - The tendency to focus on negativity for survival and the power of conscious choice. 
• How we co-create our problems in relationship.
• Doing vs. being.
• Navigating conflicts as a team. 
• Gratitude practices to check in with your partner. 
• Calling in your partner's true essence.
• How to be your own healer.

Links 

• Becoming The One Journal
• Freedom from Relationship Anxiety Program with Rising Woman
• The Conscious Relationship Council with Evolving Man
• Rising Woman Website
• Rising Woman Instagram

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dr. Anthony Balduzzi is a licensed Naturopathic Doctor and creator of the Fit Father Project and Fit Mother Project. He lost his father at the age of 42, which led him to dedicate his life to helping people live healthy and happy well into their old age.

Anthony is a former national champion bodybuilder, nutritionist, and all around great example of all-around health. He joins me to talk about the practical steps each of us can take to insure a long and healthy life.

In this episode we dive into:

• How to take care of yourself to age gracefully.
• Adapting your exercise routine as you get older, especially 40+.
• Exercising based on your nervous system state.
• Maintaining strength, cardiovascular health, flexibility, and mobility as you age.
• The importance of eating well.
• Nutrition is the baseline of health that can be maintained.
• Proper rehydration methods. 
• Foods to eat at different times throughout the day to maximize your body’s energy.
• Greens powder. 
• The addiction to sugary drinks. 
• Anthony’s and Ben’s personal diet journeys.
• Paying attention to how different foods and drinks impact your body.
• Circadian rhythms. 
• Comparing blue light, red light, UV light, infrared light, and red light machines.
• Entraining to the spectrum of light that is relevant to that time of day. 
• How to supplement harsh winters with little sunlight.
• Flowing with the seasons with your routines.
• Vitamin D and K2 supplements.
• What supplements to take when you’re getting sick.
• Immortality…
• How longevity is a byproduct of our lifestyle. 

Links from this episode:

• Fit Father Project Website
• Fit Father Project Instagram
• Fit Father Project Facebook
• Fit Father Project YouTube
• My Previous Episode with Anthony
• Conscious Relationship Council

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Becky Griffin is a co-founder of Caya Shobo, an Ayahuasca and plant medicine healing center in Peru. She has been immersed in a path of self-discovery and learning with the Shipibo plant medicine tradition since 2008, and she joins me to talk about her extensive experience dieting various Master plants under the guidance of high-level Shipibo maestro and maestra Onányas. 

Becky is a facilitator and healer for people seeking healing and growth from plant medicines like Ayahuasca and master plant diets. She has served as an apprentice curandera of the Shipibo tradition since 2012 and currently holds small ceremonial gatherings for experienced dieters.

On this episode we talk about:

• Ayahuasca shamanism.  
• Becky & Ben’s personal exploration with plant medicine. 
• The wisdom of Ayahuasca: shifting between light and dark energy. 
• Mind-centered talk therapy vs. body & spirit-centered plant medicine. 
• Addressing physical ailments with plant medicine.
• Reconnecting with the spirit of nature. 
• What is a “plant dieta” and how does it work? 
• The synchronicities between nature and humans. 
• How to establish a relationship with the consciousness of plants.
• Ayahuasca is a diagnostic tool. 
• The benefits of going to Peru for plant medicine treatment.
• Healing at the cellular level with plant medicine. 
• How long does it take to heal with plant medicine?
• The false light of Ayahuasca and other plants. 
• The pitfalls of exploring plant medicine with inexperienced healers. 
• The downfalls of placing spiritual teachers on pedestals. 
• Be your own teacher - becoming responsible for your own healing path. 
• Integrating all parts of yourself - mental, spiritual, light, shadow.
• The light and dark sides of cannabis and tobacco.
• Healing vs. coping.
• Becky’s favourite Master Plants. 
• An opportunity to travel to Peru with Ben for a retreat.

Links from this episode:

• Caya Shobo Website
• Caya Shobo Instagram
• Caya Shobo Facebook
• Join the Evolving Man Brotherhood circle

And finally, a message from Becky:

“I believe that at this time we are all being called to embark on a process of transformation, to heal the wounds and confusions of the past, and to start to realize our potential to live in genuine joy and balance. We each must find our own true self beneath the markings of trauma and conditioning that we carry and discover and integrate the ‘medicine’ within those challenges.

​The Shipibo medicine tradition and the master healing plants are living wonders from an ancient world. My own search for healing and greater meaning in life has brought me to this sacred path. And through supporting many others on a similar journey, I have seen that it is possible to slowly but surely nurture a deep connection with the master teacher plants and their songs, and thereby foster a greater harmony and understanding within, while restoring our rightful relationships with all of life.

It is my honour to assist and support others on this blessed journey of discovery.”

~ Becky

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Twelve Step programs have helped millions of people recover from addictions over the past 85+ years. In this episode we talk about why they work, the myths and the criticisms, and we make an attempt at a balanced look at the pros and cons of these programs.

This is a solo episode with Ben Goresky - an addiction recovery coach with 15 years of personal experience in Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous. After embedding himself in these programs and studying them in depth, Ben stepped away from the programs to focus on other healing modalities. He shares a viewpoint of the program that is rare: the inside view, and the outsider view.

Topics discussed in this episode:

1. Who can benefit from Twelve Step programs: Discover if you're an ideal candidate.
2. Exploring the variety of 12 step programs for different addictions.
3. Navigating triggers, pitfalls, and negative experiences within these programs.
4. The role of spirituality and the use of "big G" God language in the steps.
5. Debunking the religious overtones: Are Twelve Step programs religious or spiritual?
6. Addressing powerlessness and disempowering language in the steps.
7. Understanding the reality of addiction: Loss of control and continued substance use despite consequences.
8. The empowering use of the Disease Concept in addiction recovery.
9. Overcoming tribalism and cult-like tendencies within 12 step communities.
10. Unraveling the connection between underlying trauma and addiction.
11. The dynamics of sponsorship: Challenges and strategies for making it work for you.
12. Embracing empowering terminology and breaking free from the label of "addict."
13. Examining the frequency of the term "addiction" and its implications.
14. Reframing the saying "Once an Addict, Always an Addict."
15. Foundational steps 1-3 - Breaking through denial, accepting the problem, and choosing a guiding wisdom.
16. House cleaning steps (4-9): Embracing radical ownership and personal growth.
17. Maintenance steps (10-12): Mastering growth and evolution on a daily basis.
18. Harnessing the power of service work for successful sobriety and recovery.
19. Identifying the two crucial factors that make Twelve Step programs effective.
20. Tips for optimizing your Twelve Step experience and finding resonant meetings and like-minded individuals.

Links for this episode:

• The Freedom From Addiction men’s recovery circle
• Podcast - High Functioning Addiction - with Alex Olshonsky
• Podcast - Everything you need to know about addiction - with Chris Bevaqua

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Chris Austin Fletcher is a family counsellor and men’s leader with specialized training in conflict resolution, conscious communication, breathwork and somatic trauma release. He has 35 years of experience working with men and families, where he has seen the light and the dark side of the personal growth arenas. 

He joins me on this episode to discuss his experience uncovering the exploitation and abuses of power in the healing communities around him. We talk about how men’s personal growth can go sideways, and how to get men back into alignment. 

In this episode we dive into:

• The 9 shadow elements of men’s work. 
• The light and dark side of healing. 
• Exploring suspicions about men’s work.
• Men being the voice for women in situations of abuse.
• Embodying masculinity without being a hero. 
• The dark backlash from #MeToo and women’s empowerment.
• Responding with shame vs. empathy.
• Bringing wounds to men’s work.
• How to find depth beyond the loud internet voices. 
• Conversations about Andrew Tate, Jordan Peterson, and Donald Trump.
• How the dark masculine feeds on the energy of extremes, fears, and world chaos. 
• How to discern authentic vs. inauthentic men’s work on social media. 
• Staying connected to the heart chakra. 
• Shame and terror on the internet. 
• The problem with quick fixes.
• ​​How to look out for good mentors, teachers, and communities.
• Balancing the archetypes in men’s work.
• The 9 Rings of Alignment: A self-regulation practice.
• The importance of developing rich relationships.
• The importance of setting intentions.
• Cultivating a self-care practice.

Links from this Episode:

• Chris’ Website w/ free download
• Whole Family Healing Facebook
• Halfmoon Haven Website
• Breakup-Coach Leo mentioned in this episode.
• Leo's Breakup Program.
• Freedom from Addiction Circle
• Conscious Relationship Council

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.