Most of us recognize how important sexual communication is, yet we still struggle with it. In today’s show, we’re going to discuss a practical framework for improving your sexual communication skills. It’s called the STARS method. Using this technique will help you and your partner(s) to better understand each other and lay the groundwork for hot and healthy intimate encounters.

My guest is Dr. Evelin Dacker, the creator of the STARS method. She is a physician who specializes in sexual wellness, menopause and hormones, and vitality throughout life. Her unique approach to health incorporates pleasure as an important aspect for healing trauma and illness.

Some of the specific questions we answer in this episode include:

• What does STARS stand for? What are the key things we should be discussing with our partners?
• How can we go about discovering our turn-ons and communicating them effectively?
• How do you tell your partner about the things you don’t want and communicate your boundaries?
• How do you make discussions about sexual health and STIs easier?
• Why is it important to communicate your relationship intentions, and how do you do this?

You can check out Evelin’s website to learn more about the STARS method and follow her on the socials @sexmeddoc.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors! 

Whether you’re just a few dates in or have been together a long time, it’s time to lighten the mood and have fun with your partner by using Paired. Head over to paired.com/justin to get a 7-day free trial and 25% off if you sign up for a subscription.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

The clitoris is a piece of anatomy that has repeatedly been discovered, described, and forgotten. In today’s show, we’re going to dive into the history of the clitoris and what you need to know about it. We’ll also explore whether there’s really a difference between clitoral and vaginal orgasms, the surprising role of testosterone in clitoral health, and how recent research has completely changed our understanding of clitoral anatomy.

I am joined once again by Dr. Maria Uloko, a board certified urologist specializing in comprehensive sexual health, reconstruction, and prosthesis. She is the CEO of MUMD Sexual Medicine Consulting and the founder of VULVAi, an innovative patient advocacy tool that employs AI to aid patients grappling with vulvovaginal issues.

Some of the specific questions we answer in this episode include:

• When did people first start recognizing the importance of the clitoris in female sexual pleasure?
• Why did it take so long for us to develop a basic understanding of clitoral anatomy?
• How many nerve ending are in the clitoris?
• How can a better understanding of clitoral anatomy help improve women’s sexual health and pleasure?
• Are there really different “types” of female orgasm?

You can check out Maria’s website to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors! 

The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

The vulva is one of the most misunderstood pieces of sexual anatomy. So in today’s show, we’re going to talk about what you don’t know about the vulva. Among other things, we’ll discuss the lifespan of the vulva, the importance of maintaining vulvar health, and how sex education is failing us all when it comes to understanding the vulva.

My guest is Dr. Maria Uloko, a board certified urologist specializing in comprehensive sexual health, reconstruction, and prosthesis. She is the CEO of MUMD Sexual Medicine Consulting and the founder of VULVAi, an innovative patient advocacy tool that employs AI to aid patients grappling with vulvovaginal issues.

Some of the specific questions we answer in this episode include:

• What is the difference between the vulva and the vagina?
• Are doctors learning enough about the vulva?
• How does the vulva evolve and change with age?
• How can paying attention to vulvar health improve overall wellbeing?
• How do you maintain a happy and healthy vulva?

You can check out Maria’s website to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors! 

Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

For as long as humans have been having sex, they’ve been having kinky sex. So let’s talk about our kinky history and how it can help us to better understand sexuality today. In this episode, we’re going to explore the roots of a number of popular fetishes, including leather, nylon, and feet. We’re also going to talk about the history of porn, including the rise of animated porn in popular culture.

I am joined once again by Esmé Louise James, who is best known for her Kinky History podcast and social media series which has amassed nearly 3 million followers. She is author of the new book Kinky History: A Rollicking Journey Through Our Sexual Past, Present, and Future.  

Some of the specific topics we discuss in this episode include:

• How did leather and nylon come to be associated with sex in the first place?
• When and why did foot fetishes start to become popular?
• When did humans start making porn?
• Historically, why was porn often used for political purposes?
• When did cartoon/animated porn begin to rise in popularity?

You can check out Esmé’s website to learn more about her work and follow her on the socials @esme.louisee.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors! 

Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Sex toys are far from a modern invention. Humans have actually been making them for millennia! So let’s dive into the fascinating history of sex toys. In today’s show, we’ll tell you about the oldest dildo ever discovered, the true story behind the invention of the vibrator, and so much more.

I am joined by Esmé Louise James, who is best known for her Kinky History podcast and social media series which has amassed nearly 3 million followers. She is author of the new book Kinky History: A Rollicking Journey Through Our Sexual Past, Present, and Future.  

Some of the specific topics we discuss in this episode include:

• How long have humans been using sex toys?
• When did people start mass-producing dildos?
• When was the vibrator invented, and why were the first versions geared toward men?
• When were cock rings first developed and what were they like?
• What did people use for contraception before condoms or birth control pills existed?

You can check out Esmé’s website to learn more about her work and follow her on the socials @esme.louisee.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors! 

Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.

The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

How do you create a lasting connection with a partner and sustain passion in a relationship over time? In today’s show, we’re going to discuss the secrets you need to know for cultivating hotter and healthier sex lives. By following these tips, you can learn to have the kind of sex that we all really want to be having, which is where it feels almost effortless because you’re totally in synch with your partner.

I am joined once again by Dr. Emily Jamea, an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist based in Houston, Texas. Dr. Jamea hosts the popular Love & Libido Podcast and is author of the new book Anatomy of Desire: Five Secrets to Create Connection and Cultivate Passion.

Some of the specific topics we discuss include:

• Why is curiosity an important element of great sex?
• How do you build up the courage to try something new if that sounds a little scary or stressful to you?
• How can you learn to become more adaptable in the bedroom?
• Why is vulnerability important for having great sex?
• What is attunement, and how can we become more attuned to our partners during sex?

You can check out Emily’s website to learn more about her work and follow her on the socials at @DrEmilyJamea.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors! 

Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

One of the most common sex problems people report today is that they can’t seem to clear their mind during sex. They find themselves distracted or they’re multi-tasking, and this is getting in the way of their pleasure. In today’s show, we’re going to discuss why this problem is on the rise and what we can do about it. Specifically, we’re going to learn how to have embodied sex, which is the kind of sex that allows us to get out of our heads and into the moment.

I am joined by Dr. Emily Jamea, an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist based in Houston, Texas. Dr. Jamea hosts the popular Love & Libido Podcast and is author of the new book Anatomy of Desire: Five Secrets to Create Connection and Cultivate Passion.

Some of the specific topics we discuss include:

• How is our modern world making it harder for us to be present during sex?
• What is a “flow state,” and why is this an important element of good sex?
• How can we learn to become more embodied during sex?
• What are some everyday ways to practice embodiment?
• How can we leverage the power of touch to enhance sex and relationships?

You can check out Emily’s website to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors! 

Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Social media has permeated many aspects of our lives, including our intimate lives. In today’s show, we’re going to discuss the good, bad, and ugly of how social media has changed dating. Some of the topics we explore include how social media can stoke relationship insecurity and undermine authentic connection, as well as why social media is increasingly a terrible place to learn about relationships. We’ll also consider tips for using social media in healthier ways.

I am joined once again by Dr. Nicole McNichols an Associate Teaching Professor in the Department of Psychology at the University of Washington. Nicole is the co-author of the textbook “Human Sexuality In A Diverse Society” and author of the forthcoming book “You Could Be Having Better Sex.”

Some of the specific topics we discuss in this episode include:

• How can social media increase uncertainty about whether someone is really interested in you?
• How is the fact that people are constantly posting private details of their lives changing the way we’re approaching dating?
• When do social media interactions cross the line into cheating?
• Are there any ways that social media can be good for relationships?
• How can we use social media in a more mindful way?

You can learn more about Nicole’s work on her website, and be sure to check out her videos on TikTok as well.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors! 

Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

What do young adults today want from sex and relationships? And how is this different compared to generations past? To answer these questions, we’re going to dive into The State of Dating Report, a collaborative scientific analysis from the Kinsey Institute and Feeld, the dating app for the curious. We’re going to discuss why younger adults are having less sex overall but more kinky sex, how preferences for different types of relationships vary across generations, and more.

I am joined by Dr. Nicole McNichols an Associate Teaching Professor in the Department of Psychology at the University of Washington.  Nicole is the co-author of the textbook “Human Sexuality In A Diverse Society” and author of the forthcoming book “You Could Be Having Better Sex.”

Some of the specific topics we discuss in this episode include:

• Why Gen Z is having less sex and fewer relationships compared to generations past.
• Why younger adults are more interested in monogamy than older adults.
• Why kinky sex is on the rise in Gen Z.
• How the sexual fantasies of younger and older adults compare.
• Why rates of LGBTQ+ identification are rising among young adults.

You can learn more about Nicole’s work on her website, and be sure to check out her videos on TikTok as well.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors! 

Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.

The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

In today’s show, we’re answering more of your sex questions! This is our third dive into some of the questions that have come through our listener voicemail. I’m going to answer three of them that I thought were super interesting.

• Our first question is about whether libido is genetically determined, so we’ll look at what the science says about the degree to which genetics control our sexual desire.
• The second question deals with a male listener who has difficulty reaching orgasm, so we’ll talk about tips for managing that.
• Finally, a listener asked about how to boost sexual desire in post-menopausal women, so we’ll explore what you need to know about that with an assist from Dr. Mary Jane Minkin, a practicing gynecologist and a North American Menopause Society Certified Clinician. Dr. Minkin was a previous guest on episode 334: How To Have a Happy Vagina.

If you have questions you’d like to have answered on the show, you can send me a podcast voicemail of your own at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. You can do it from your computer or from your phone, so keep sending those questions in!

***

Thank you to our sponsors! 

Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Sexual desire is complex. Scientists can’t even agree on a definition of it, let alone whether and how it is distinct from arousal. In today’s show, we’re going to revisit one of my favorite conversations of all time on the show, which offers a deep dive into the science behind women’s sexual desire. Some of the topics we’ll discuss include how to treat problems with low desire, why monogamy is so hard on desire, as well as why wanting to be wanted is so vital to feeling desire.

My guest is Dr. Marta Meana, a Professor of Psychology at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas.  The author of numerous academic publications and two books, her research has focused on genital pain in women, as well as female sexual desire.

Some of the topics we explore include:

• Diversity in how sexual desire is experienced.
• Why long-term monogamy is hard on sexual desire for everyone, but especially for women.
• Whether it’s possible to maintain both intense intimacy and intense passion at the same time.
• Why women are more likely than men to see themselves as the object of desire in their fantasies.
• How having more erotic self-focus can benefit women’s sex lives.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors! 

Whether you’re just a few dates in or have been together a long time, it’s time to lighten the mood and have fun with your partner by using Paired. Head over to paired.com/justin to get a 7-day free trial and 25% off if you sign up for a subscription.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest