Adoption Wise

Lisa C. Qualls and Melissa Corkum

  • 42 minutes 36 seconds
    #243: The Power of Community when Reclaiming Compassion with Kayla North
    blocked care

    We believe that overcoming blocked care is best in community. In this episode, we explore the power of community and compassion in the journey of foster care and adoption. Kayla North generously shares her experiences of blocked care and how support, self-care, and practical strategies can lead to resilience and healing. They also talk about how mom’s found hope through attending Reclaim Compassion book clubs last summer.

    Ryan and Kayla North are a dynamic husband-and wife duo who have dedicated their careers to helping adults create environments where children feel safe, welcome, and loved. Through their work, they have become trusted voices for parents, professionals, churches, and educators. They are Co-Founders of One Big Happy Home and the Empowered Parent Podcast.

    Click here to download a transcript for this episode.

    Relevant Links

    Connect with Kayla on Instagram

    Free Reclaim Compassion Group Guide

    30 April 2024, 6:00 am
  • 46 minutes 20 seconds
    #242: How a Child’s Mental Health Impacts the Family with Amber Reynolds
    blocked care, mental illness

    Lisa and Amber Reynolds (our Director of Communications) chat about the challenges of parenting a young child struggling with mental illness. Amber shares candidly about what she wishes she had done differently, how her son’s mental illness affected her health, and how she’s overcoming blocked care. As an Enneagram 8, Amber loves advocating well for all those in her care. She and her husband, Chris, have been foster parents for seven years and have three children through adoption.

    Click here to download a transcript for this episode.

    Relevant Links

    Connect with Amber on Instagram

    Join Reclaim Compassion

    16 April 2024, 6:00 am
  • 1 hour 29 seconds
    #241: [workshop] What Shapes You: Unlocking Your Family System for Hope
    workshop, family systems

    Generally, what we carry into our childhoods and throughout our adulthood is part of a wider series, even patterns, of behavior, traumas, and worldviews. In this workshop, Dr. Stoker will give a very brief overview of Family Systems theory. You will learn:

    • highlights for Family Systems theory
    • a narrative that will assist you in seeing systems more objectively
    • tools to heal and offer hope for those with whom you live and serve

    Dr. Andy Stoker (he/him) is married to Megan, and they are parents to two sons, Alex (20) and Wesley (15). Andy is an ordained United Methodist minister, holds a secular PhD in Family Science, and is a certified mindfulness meditation teacher in the Western Buddhist tradition. He currently serves as the Senior Pastor of Central United Methodist Church in Albuquerque, New Mexico. For over two decades, Andy advocated for justice, fairness, equity, and inclusiveness in the Dallas area in the areas of public education, fair employment, healthcare access, and housing justice. In his free time, he co-hosts a parenting podcast with a psychologist and pediatrician called “Parenting for the Present.”

    Click here to download a transcript for this episode.

    Relevant Links

    Connect with Andy on Instagram

    Parenting for the Present podcast

    Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue* by Edwin H. Friedman

    Bowen Theory’s Secrets* by Michael Kerr

    The Bowen Center on Youtube

    A Family Genogram Workbook* by by Israel Galindo, Elaine Boomer, and Don Reagan

    *this is an affiliate link

    2 April 2024, 6:00 am
  • 28 minutes 29 seconds
    #240: Tangible Ideas for Processing Grief
    Grief

    Foster care and adoption are full of ambiguous losses and disenfranchised grief. In this episode, Lisa and Melissa discuss the gap between expectations and reality which can lead to feelings of grief. They offer tangible practices, including writing, verbal processing, and bodywork. The importance of acknowledging and processing darker emotions such as sadness, anger, or resentment without judgment is emphasized. Lastly, they mention adapting these practices for children experiencing similar grief and loss.

    Click here to download a transcript for this episode.

    Relevant Links

    Reclaim Compassion: The Adoptive Parent’s Guide to Overcoming Blocked Care with Neuroscience and Faith* by Qualls and Corkum

    #33: Grieving the unexpected losses in adoption

    #121: An Introduction to Trauma & Tension Release Exercise (TRE) with Christa Bevan

    FREE Facebook Group

     

    * this is an affiliate link

    19 March 2024, 6:00 am
  • 40 minutes 53 seconds
    #239: Fostering Children of Incarcerated Moms with Rebekah Cook
    Foster Care

    Rebekah Cook shares her experiences of fostering children of incarcerated moms through a ministry called Jonah’s Journey. She emphasizes the importance of establishing a relationship with the biological parents and discusses the unique challenges and rewards of this type of foster care. Rebekah also touches on her struggle with blocked care and how she sought support and healing.

    Rebekah is a stay at home mom and former elementary school teacher who is passionate about loving and serving vulnerable moms in her community. She and her husband, Josh, are parents to 7 kids through birth, adoption and foster care. They are also loving their newest roles as grandparents to two little ones!

    Click here to download a transcript for this episode.

    Relevant Links

    Jonah’s Journey

    5 March 2024, 6:00 am
  • 25 minutes 43 seconds
    #238: Finding Life-Giving Connection
    life-giving relationships

    One of the signs of blocked care is isolation. In this episode, Lisa and Melissa chat about the importance of building supportive communities in virtual and real-life spaces. They recommend parents seek out and engage in safe, validating communities where they can discuss their challenges openly. All parents need to fill up their “relationship bucket” in order to maintain compassionate parenting.

    Click here to download a transcript for this episode.

    Relevant Links

    Join Reclaim Compassion

    Join our free Facebook group

    House of Eve* by Sadeqa Johnson

    * this is an affiliate link

    20 February 2024, 6:00 am
  • 25 minutes 57 seconds
    #237: [mailbag] PDA, teen borderline personality disorder, despair
    mailbag, pathological demand avoidance, borderline personality disorder, teens

    This week we answer listener questions such as:

    • What resources would you recommend for Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA)?
    • Do you have any wisdom to share about parenting a teenager with borderline personality disorder?
    • What if things don’t get better?

    Click here to download the transcript for this episode.

    Relevant Links

    PDA Masterclass

    Melissa’s Ted Talk on Redefining Success

    The Gap and the Gain Podcast

     

    6 February 2024, 6:00 am
  • 27 minutes 34 seconds
    #236: [workshop] Supporting Kids with FASD Part 2 with Sandra Flach
    FASD, workshop

    Many adoptive and foster parents wonder if their child may have FASD or they have a diagnosis but aren’t sure what to do next. Last time Sandra explored the impact of prenatal exposure to alcohol on a developing baby and identify the primary, secondary, and tertiary symptoms of FASD. This week in Part 2, you will learn practical techniques for accommodating and supporting children with FASD.

    Sandra Flach is a mom of 8 children, 5 through adoption—2 diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. She encourages and equips foster and adoptive parents through her weekly Adoption & Foster Care Journey Podcast and blogs at SandraFlach.com. Sandra is co-founder of Justice For Orphans and author of Orphans No More: A Journey Back to the Father. She is also a trained facilitator of the FASCETS Neurobehavioral Model. Sandra and her husband Wayne have been married 35 years. They reside in upstate New York where they love to spend time with family, especially their 8 grandchildren.

    Click here to download a transcript for this episode.

    Relevant Links

    Justice for Orphans

    Sandra’s Blog

    Orphans No More* by Sandra Flach

    *this is an affiliate link

    23 January 2024, 6:00 am
  • 41 minutes 11 seconds
    #235: [workshop] Supporting Kids with FASD Part 1 with Sandra Flach
    FASD, workshop

    Many adoptive and foster parents wonder if their child may have FASD, or they have a diagnosis but aren’t sure what to do next. In Part 1 of this workshop, you will explore the impact of prenatal exposure to alcohol on a developing baby and identify the primary, secondary, and tertiary symptoms of FASD. In Part 2, you will learn practical techniques for accommodating and supporting children with FASD.

    Sandra Flach is a mom of 8 children, 5 through adoption—2 diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. She encourages and equips foster and adoptive parents through her weekly Adoption & Foster Care Journey Podcast and blogs at SandraFlach.com. Sandra is co-founder of Justice For Orphans and author of Orphans No More: A Journey Back to the Father. She is also a trained facilitator of the FASCETS Neurobehavioral Model. Sandra and her husband Wayne have been married 35 years. They reside in upstate NY where they love to spend time with family, especially their 8 grandchildren.

    Click here to download a transcript for this episode.

    Relevant Links

    Justice for Orphans

    Sandra’s Blog

    Orphans No More* by Sandra Flach

    *this is an affiliate link

    9 January 2024, 6:00 am
  • 35 minutes 25 seconds
    #234: What We Learned in 2023
    reflections

    Last year’s reflection episode was a listener favorite, so we’re back with another one! With the demands of life and parenting, it can be hard to find time to stop and reflect. But pausing and reflecting is good for our soul, our nervous system, and our relationships. In this last episode for 2023 we thought it would be fun to answer the following questions:

    • Describe a moment of clarity in 2023
    • Name something that became newly important to you in 2023
    • What is one new thing you want to explore in 2024
    • What do I have right now that, five years ago, I only dreamed about having?

    Click here to download a transcript for this episode.

    Relevant Links

    Centering Prayer MP3

    Music for the podcast was composed by Oleksandr Oleksandrov on Pond5.

    12 December 2023, 6:00 am
  • 34 minutes 55 seconds
    #233: Maintaining Compassion as a Kinship Provider with Nakole Wooley
    Kinship care, the full-time care of a child by relatives, comes with many added relationship dynamics and complexities. In this episode Nakole Wooley shares how they navigate the challenges of kinship care, and the importance of overcommunication and compassion in the process. Nakole and her husband, Brandon, have been married 15 years. They are raising six kids including three who joined their family through kinship care. She is a military veteran and a licensed master social worker in Missouri. She and Brandon are also Cultivate Connection Facilitators. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Blocked Care 101 Reclaim Compassion: The Adoptive Parent's Guide to Overcoming Blocked Care with Neuroscience and Faith*  by Qualls and Corkum Join Reclaim Compassion Free Blocked Care Assessment *this is an affiliate link
    28 November 2023, 6:00 am
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