How do we not flip our lids when our kids are going bananas?  It's HARD.  Because dysregulation is quite literally contagious!!  And if we flip our lids too then it's usually pretty hard to deescalate the situation.   Offering connection, regulation, and felt-safety to our kids is a lot easier if we don't flip our lids! (Although for sure- perfection in parenting is never ever ever required and sometimes, I flip my lid, too!)

In this episode, we will look at steps you can take- IN THE MOMENT- of a stressful parenting experience (assuming no one is in literal danger!) that will help you stay regulated (not calm!) so you can tackle the real problem.  The real problem is probably your child's regulation, connection, and/or felt-safety!

FREE DOWNLOAD: Not Flipping Your Lid in 4 Steps Infographic CLICK HERE

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You can read a blog article that has all the steps written out here (sometimes it's easier to remember things in writing!): www.RobynGobbel.com/notflippingyourlid

If you are new to this model of brain-based parenting, you can watch my free 45 minute masterclass on Regulation, Connection, and Felt-Safety here: www.RobynGobbel.com/masterclass

Over on my website you can find:
Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::::
Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

Cues of safety, danger, or life threat come from three places- inside, outside, and between.

In part 3 of this series on felt safety, we are exploring felt safety from between- from relationship!

In this episode, you’ll learn

• How availability of connection is a cue of safety or danger
• How neuroception can tell the state of the other person’s nervous system (connection or protection?)
• Why nervous systems are contagious
• How ‘between’ cues of safety eventually become ‘inside’ cues of safety
• How you can increase your own experience of safety even when you are parenting children in stuck in chronic procession mode

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Connection Or Protection??? {Ep 7}
• When Your Nervous System Is Fried {Ep 139}
• Influence Behaviors, Not Control {Ep 101}
• Amanda Diekman’s Book! - Low-Demand Parenting

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/feltsafetybetween

Follow Me On:
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Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::::
Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

In this second episode of a three-part series on felt safety, we are going to explore all the ways our kids (and ourselves) are neuroceiving safety or danger from what’s happening in the environment.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• Misconceptions about felt safety
• External (outside) cues of felt safety, such as the environment, sensory experiences, structure, and environmental demands
• What we do with this information

Free Multi-Page Infographic all about Felt Safety! CLICK HERE

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• What Does Co-Regulation Really Look Like? {Ep 81}
• Focus On The Nervous System To Change Behavior {Ep 84}
• Connection Or Protection??? {Ep 7}
• Marti’s Book! - The Connected Therapist

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/feltsafetyoutside

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::::
Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

Let’s go back to basics! Last week we talked about seeing behavior through the lens of the nervous system and then took a deep-dive into co-regulation.

This week begins a three-part deep-dive into the foundational concept of felt safety.

What is felt safety, what isn’t felt safety, and why it matters!

Next we will explore the many different ways we are all neuroceiving safety (or not) from our inner world.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• Misconceptions about felt safety
• Internal cues of felt safety, such as hunger, illness, or being in chronic protection mode
• What we do with this information

Free Multi-Page Infographic all about Felt Safety! CLICK HERE

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Focus On the Nervous System to Change Behavior {Ep 84}
• What Does Co-Regulation Really Look Like? {Ep 81}
• Connection or Protection??? {Ep 7}
• Enabling Vs. Low-Demand Parenting {Ep 144}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/feltsafetyinside

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::::
Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

Hey everyone, this is Alex, Robyn's son and podcast editor. To be 100% honest, we forgot to record a podcast for this week. Luckily, I have stepped in to fill the podcast void and to make my grand reveal!

In this episode, you’ll learn

• What my voice sounds like!
• Why we didn't get a new episode out for y'all.

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/grandreveal  

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

We think a lot about how to lower demands for our kids, but in this episode we’re going to talk about how we can lower demands for ourselves, specifically during the holiday season.

Regardless of where you live in the world and what holidays you do or don’t celebrate, it’s hard to avoid the extra stress that comes in December.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• How to look at traditions or expectations and consider which ones to prioritize
• How to increase felt safety- for you and your kids- at holiday events, travel, or expectations
• How to set boundaries 
• How to offer yourself compassion if setting boundaries feels really hard

Read the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/lowdemandholidays

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::::
Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

Living with someone with a vulnerable nervous system almost certainly leaves you feeling like you are walking on eggshells.

It’s that sense of not knowing what’s going to happen next, having to tread lightly, and being constantly at risk of making a misstep that will trigger the other person. 

In today’s episode, we are going to break down the neurobiology of walking on eggshells and talk about what you can do to shift out of this pattern- even if you can’t change the other person’s behavior.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• The neurobiology of that ‘walking on eggshells’ feeling
• How to consider the possibility of feeling safe when you are safe
• The impossible set-up our brain puts us in that leaves us stuck feeling like we are walking on eggshells- and what to do about it

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• All Behavior Makes Sense {EP 198}
• Gratitude For Our Watchdog & Possums Parts {EP 200}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/eggshells

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The
Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::::
Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

In this special 200th episode, we’re exploring how to bring compassion, curiosity, and gratitude to our kids’ (and our own) “Watchdog” and “Possum” parts as overworked companions trying their best to help us survive. With acceptance and understanding, we can help these parts rest and integrate, creating space for true change.

We also look at the unique challenges parents face, especially when dealing with intense behaviors, and how building compassion for these protective parts—not the behaviors themselves—can help us navigate parenting with more calm, empathy, and hope. 

Believe it or not- over time, this practice of seeing our inner worlds differently can transform not only our lives but the lives of our children and our communities.

Main Takeaways:

• Recognize Protective Parts with Compassion: Our “Watchdog” and “Possum” parts, which are defensive instincts, need compassion and gratitude, not elimination. Understanding these parts as overworked rather than problematic can lead to healthier integration and self-acceptance.
• Parenting from Compassionate Curiosity: Challenging behaviors in children can often lead to frustration. By developing curiosity and compassion for our kids’ protective parts, parents can respond with empathy and help these parts feel safe, which reduces the intensity of the behaviors over time.
• The Power of Community and Practice: Change takes time and commitment, and practicing compassion and gratitude—even in small amounts—can lead to significant transformations in ourselves, our relationships, and our communities. The journey is gradual, but even small shifts create powerful results.

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• EVERYONE Has A Watchdog and Possum Brain! {EP 178}
• All Behavior Makes Sense {EP 198}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/gratitude

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::::
Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

The brain is the brain is the brain. All behaviors have their origin in the brain. But for some behaviors, it is easy to lose sight of this important truth.

Behaviors that would be easy to label as manipulative or controlling or selfish just feel so personal! But if we can remember that even relational skills are brain-based skills, we can reclaim our empathy, set boundaries, and offer the scaffolding or accommodations necessary to help our child be successful.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• How to break down relational skills as brain-based skills
• How to scaffold or accommodate relational brain-based skills

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• NEW!!!! Brain-First Parenting Podcast! With Eileen Devine

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/relationalskills

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::::
Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

In this episode, I unravel how to extend connection to our children while acknowledging that some might see this connection as a threat. I offer insights on toning down the demand for connection, enabling our children to relax in it, and thereby strengthen their stress response system. I also reference the previous episodes in this four-part series by talking about the science of opposition, some practical strategies, and tackling kids stuck in protection mode, all with the aim of providing a comprehensive understanding of making connection a safe experience.

In this episode you’ll learn:

• That providing too much connection can often be overwhelming and feel more like danger than connection
• To titrate connection and supply only as much as the child needs or wants
• Showing your child you think of them when are not together like buying their favorite snack, titrates connection by showing that you are thinking of them and you see them

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Exploring Low Demand Parenting: Shifting Power Dynamics And Nurturing Trust {EP 142}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/oppositional4

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

***

:::::
Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

If offering safety and connection is the antidote to oppositional behavior, what do you do if connection isn’t experienced as safe or regulating by your child?

In this episode you’ll learn:

• How connection and protection can get tied together
• How to keep offering connection, even when it’s consistently rejected by your child
• The science behind why YOU need to be receiving connection - and how you can do that even if you don’t have a lot of extra time or supportive people in your life

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Regulated Does Not Equal Calm {Ep 31}
• Match The Energy, NOT The Dysregulation {Ep 155}
• Free Resources - robyngobbel.com/freeresources

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/oppostitional3

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::::
Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources