The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

Robyn Gobbel

Formerly the Parenting after Trauma podcast, internationally recognized children's mental health expert Robyn Gobbel decodes the most baffling behaviors for parents of kids with vulnerable nervous systems. If you're parenting a child who has experienced trauma or toxic stress or a child with a neuroimmune disorder, sensory processing, or other nervous system vulnerability, this show will let you know you are not alone. You can stop playing behavior whack-a-mole because Robyn offers you tools that actually work. You can become your child's expert, feel more confident as a parent, and bring more connection and clarity into your family.Educators, therapists, coaches and consultants- you too can learn all about what behavior really is and become more effective at helping the families you support. You can love your work again!

  • 36 minutes 8 seconds
    Ep. 200!: Gratitude for Our Watchdog & Possum Parts

    In this special 200th episode, we’re exploring how to bring compassion, curiosity, and gratitude to our kids’ (and our own) “Watchdog” and “Possum” parts as overworked companions trying their best to help us survive. With acceptance and understanding, we can help these parts rest and integrate, creating space for true change.

    We also look at the unique challenges parents face, especially when dealing with intense behaviors, and how building compassion for these protective parts—not the behaviors themselves—can help us navigate parenting with more calm, empathy, and hope. 

    Believe it or not- over time, this practice of seeing our inner worlds differently can transform not only our lives but the lives of our children and our communities.

    Main Takeaways:

    • Recognize Protective Parts with Compassion: Our “Watchdog” and “Possum” parts, which are defensive instincts, need compassion and gratitude, not elimination. Understanding these parts as overworked rather than problematic can lead to healthier integration and self-acceptance.
    • Parenting from Compassionate Curiosity: Challenging behaviors in children can often lead to frustration. By developing curiosity and compassion for our kids’ protective parts, parents can respond with empathy and help these parts feel safe, which reduces the intensity of the behaviors over time.
    • The Power of Community and Practice: Change takes time and commitment, and practicing compassion and gratitude—even in small amounts—can lead to significant transformations in ourselves, our relationships, and our communities. The journey is gradual, but even small shifts create powerful results.


    Resources mentioned in this podcast:


    Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/gratitude

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With



    "The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

    You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

    ***

    :::::
    Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

    Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

    Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

    19 November 2024, 5:00 am
  • 1 hour 6 minutes
    Ep. 199: Scaffolding Relational Skills as Brain Skills with Eileen Devine

    The brain is the brain is the brain. All behaviors have their origin in the brain. But for some behaviors, it is easy to lose sight of this important truth.

    Behaviors that would be easy to label as manipulative or controlling or selfish just feel so personal! But if we can remember that even relational skills are brain-based skills, we can reclaim our empathy, set boundaries, and offer the scaffolding or accommodations necessary to help our child be successful.

    In this episode, you’ll learn

    • How to break down relational skills as brain-based skills
    • How to scaffold or accommodate relational brain-based skills


    Resources mentioned in this podcast:


    Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/relationalskills

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With



    "The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

    You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

    ***

    Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
    You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

    RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

    :::::
    Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

    Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

    Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

    12 November 2024, 5:00 am
  • 47 minutes 47 seconds
    REPLAY: Titrating Connection (Oppositional Series - Part 4)

    In this episode, I unravel how to extend connection to our children while acknowledging that some might see this connection as a threat. I offer insights on toning down the demand for connection, enabling our children to relax in it, and thereby strengthen their stress response system. I also reference the previous episodes in this four-part series by talking about the science of opposition, some practical strategies, and tackling kids stuck in protection mode, all with the aim of providing a comprehensive understanding of making connection a safe experience.

    In this episode you’ll learn:

    • That providing too much connection can often be overwhelming and feel more like danger than connection
    • To titrate connection and supply only as much as the child needs or wants
    • Showing your child you think of them when are not together like buying their favorite snack, titrates connection by showing that you are thinking of them and you see them

    Resources mentioned in this podcast:

    Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/oppositional4

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

    "The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

    You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

    ***

    Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
    You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

    RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

    :::::
    Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

    Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

    Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

    5 November 2024, 5:00 am
  • 39 minutes 8 seconds
    REPLAY: When Connection isn't Safe (Oppositional Series - Part 3)

    If offering safety and connection is the antidote to oppositional behavior, what do you do if connection isn’t experienced as safe or regulating by your child?

    In this episode you’ll learn:

    • How connection and protection can get tied together
    • How to keep offering connection, even when it’s consistently rejected by your child
    • The science behind why YOU need to be receiving connection - and how you can do that even if you don’t have a lot of extra time or supportive people in your life

    Resources mentioned in this podcast:

    Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/oppostitional3

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

    "The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

    You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

    ***

    :::::
    Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

    Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

    Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

    29 October 2024, 4:00 am
  • 48 minutes 25 seconds
    REPLAY: Strategies for Oppositional Behavior (Oppositional Series - Part 2)

    Last week we talked about the science of oppositional behavior. This week, let’s look at strategies to help children rest into felt safety so their nervous system feels better and their oppositional protective strategies can decrease.

    In this episode you’ll learn:

    • An invitation to consider some of our cultural beliefs around opposition in the parent/child relationship
    • How to use our grown-up brains to invite connection and cooperation
    • Strategies for creating felt safety in the child's inner world
    • Strategies for creating felt safety in the child's environment
    • Strategies for creating felt safety in the relationship

    Resources mentioned in this podcast:


    Read the full transcript at:
    RobynGobbel.com/oppositional2

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

    "The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

    You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

    ***

    Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
    You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

    RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

    :::::
    Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

    Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

    Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

    22 October 2024, 4:00 am
  • 47 minutes 41 seconds
    REPLAY: Oppositional And Defiant Behavior (Oppositional Series - Part 1)

    What if oppositional behavior is a normal response to feeling unsafe? In this episode, we unfold the layers of oppositional behavior and its roots in the nervous system. We look into the diagnostic complexities of Oppositional Defiant Disorder and dive into how our own state of the nervous system is important in helping our children navigate their Watchdog and Possum pathways.

    In this episode you’ll learn:

    • That even oppositional behaviors make total sense
    • Spending a lot of time in protection mode is hard on the body
    • Changing the behavior is not the goal- regulation, connection, and felt safety is
    • The diagnosis of Oppositional Defiance Disorder is just a label- we have to stay curious about the causes for treatment

    Resources mentioned in this podcast:

    Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/oppositional1

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

    "The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

    You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

    ***

    Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
    You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

    RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

    :::::
    Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

    Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

    Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

    15 October 2024, 4:00 am
  • 48 minutes 45 seconds
    Ep. 198: All Behavior Makes Sense

    All behavior makes sense and no behavior is maladaptive- in the moment that behavior emerges.

    Of course, the IMPACT of the behavior might be maladaptive and absolutely many behaviors need to change.

    But understanding that all behavior makes perfect sense at the moment it emerges is the lynchpin in offering folks co-regulation, connection, and felt-safety.


    In this episode, you’ll learn

    • How all brains create reality
    • The brain’s most important job
    • The most effective path to take if you want to see behavior change


    Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/allbehaviormakessense

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

    "The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

    You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

    ***

    Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
    You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

    RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

    :::::
    Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

    Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

    Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

    8 October 2024, 4:00 am
  • 40 minutes 3 seconds
    EP 197: How Can the Club Help Me?

    It’s really important to me and my team that you have all the information you might need when making the decision to join The Club- or not.

    The Club is open for new members now, October 1-8, 2024, and I recorded this episode based on some of the most commonly asked questions


    In this episode, you’ll learn

    • What The Club even is and why it’s different than other parenting communities
    • What’s included in your Club membership (so much!)
    • How easy it is to access and participate in The Club
    • How easy it is to step away from The Club whenever you’re ready


    Read the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/whatsintheclub

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With



    "The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

    You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

    ***

    :::::
    Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

    Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

    Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

    4 October 2024, 4:00 am
  • 36 minutes 6 seconds
    EP 196: Whiplash! When a Meltdown Comes Outta Nowhere

    Whiplash. You probably know what I mean. You start to be lulled into a life with fewer meltdowns, or less intensity. Then BOOM. An old behavior seems to explode out of nowhere. 

    You’re right back to feeling like everything’s awful or it’ll never get better or you’ll have to live like this forever. 

    You might even be frustrated with yourself that you let yourself ‘relax.’

    All of these experiences are completely normal for folks who love someone with a chronic condition that occasionally flares- which is what a vulnerable nervous system is.


    In this episode, you’ll learn

    • The whiplash and why we feel it
    • Why our kids seem to attack outta no where
    • Why these moments feel like everything is as worse as ever- but it probably isn’t
    • Why it’s GOOD we can finally rest, even if it does leave us feeling unprotected and whiplashed


    Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/whiplash

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With



    "The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

    You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

    ***

    :::::
    Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

    Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

    Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

    1 October 2024, 4:00 am
  • 37 minutes 2 seconds
    EP 195: Self Regulation Doesn't Exist (2nd Edition)

    If self-regulation doesn't really exist- then what do we mean when we talk about self-regulation? And why does it matter?

    In this episode, you’ll learn

    • What self-regulation REALLY is
    • How “self” regulation develop
    • Why you should still teach self-regulation skills


    Resources mentioned in this podcast:


    Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/selfregulation

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

    "The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

    You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

    ***

    :::::
    Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

    Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

    Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

    24 September 2024, 4:00 am
  • 1 hour 7 seconds
    EP 194: Improving Connections Between Home and School with Jessica Sinarski

    We could never have too many ideas about how to cultivate connections between home and school. Author of Light Up the Learning Brain (and Riley the Brave) Jessica Sinarski shares practical ideas that can help parents and schools work together to support kids with vulnerable nervous systems.

    In this episode, you’ll learn

    • Practical, easy-to-implement strategies to create connections between parents and teachers
    • Why regulation is foundational for learning
    • Where to find resources that support educators in creating a culture of compassion


    Resources mentioned in this podcast:


    Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/improvingconnections

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

    "The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."

    You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book

    ***

    Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
    You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

    RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

    :::::
    Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

    Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

    Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

    17 September 2024, 4:00 am
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About The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}
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