Believe it or not, we don’t want to get rid of our kids’ watchdog and possum brains!

We want to help their watchdog and possum brain rest so they aren’t working so hard.

Their watchdog and possum brains are overworked and overactive.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• Why we must remember that everyone has a watchdog and possum brain
• How gratitude and acceptance of the watchdog and possum brain strengthens the owl brain
• We don’t want to get rid of our children’s watchdog and possums brains- we want to help them rest

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• What Does Vulnerable Nervous System Mean? {EP 122}
• Connection Or Protection??? {EP 7}
• Stress Response System {EP 94}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/everyone

Follow Me On:
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Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

***
Hey, if you listen to podcasts, you'll probably love listening to Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors on audiobook! Download it on Audible or wherever you get your audiobooks!
***

:::
Overwhelmed and unsure where to start? Check out the START HERE podcast- I put it together just to answer the question "Where do I start?" Get your invitation at RobynGobbel.com/StartHere

:::::
Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

When I work with parents whose child spends a lot of time on the possum pathway, I warn them that sometimes possum kids become watchdog kids before the finally have a nice, strong owl brain.

Because watchdog behaviors are often more intense and scarier than possum behaviors, this can feel like your child is ‘getting worse.’

It’s actually a sign of healing, and here’s why!

In this episode, you’ll learn

• Why kids who have a lot of possum behavior can sometimes become kids who have a lot of watchdog behavior
• Why this phenomenon usually means there is progress and healing happening
• Why sometimes kids move from possum behaviors to owl behaviors without having watchdog behaviors

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/possumsbecomewatchdogs

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

***
Hey, if you listen to podcasts, you'll probably love listening to Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors on audiobook! Download it on Audible or wherever you get your audiobooks!
***

:::
Overwhelmed and unsure where to start? Check out the START HERE podcast- I put it together just to answer the question "Where do I start?" Get your invitation at RobynGobbel.com/StartHere

:::::
Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

This episode originally aired on December 22, 2020, episode 8

:::


I love love love talking about self-compassion for two main reasons.  #1- Self-Compassion is solidly anchored in the relational neurosciences- and you know how much I love...and need...for things to be anchored in science.  #2- Self-compassion has tenacity.  There's no way out.  Self-compassion has an answer for all your reasons why you aren't worthy of self-compassion.  I love that about self-compassion (probably because people describe me as tenacious- especially, relationally).

In this episode, we will explore the science of self-compassion.  We'll look at why compassion is the neurobiology of change.  Why you deserve compassion.  Why compassion is how the brain heals and changes.  Compassion can feel risky- and I'll give you the science that might help you feel safe enough to take the vulnerable step toward self-compassion.

To read more about self-compassion, visit robyngobbel.com/selfcompassion

***
Hey, if you listen to podcasts, you'll probably love listening to Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors on audiobook! Download it on Audible or wherever you get your audiobooks!
***

:::
Overwhelmed and unsure where to start? Check out the START HERE podcast- I put it together just to answer the question "Where do I start?" Get your invitation at RobynGobbel.com/StartHere

:::::
Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

Is it possible to feel better even if your child’s behavior doesn’t change?

Even if the stress doesn’t change?

Theoretically, yes.

Your chronic watchdog or possum state means you are in chronic protection mode. Is it possible to shift out of protection mode before the chaos in your life changes?

That’s exactly what we address in today’s episode!

In this episode, you’ll learn

• The two different paths you can take to feel better (come out of protection mode) even if the chaos in your life never changes
• The neuroscience behind how connection and co-regulation (for you!) becomes twice as important for your ability to stay more regulated even when things are really hard
• Resources to help you feel better (shift out of protection) that you can do by yourself, as well as resources that are based in connection and co-regulation

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Connection Or Protection {EP 7}
• When Your Nervous System Is Fried {EP 139}
• The Privilege Of Parenting With Safety {EP 169}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/feelbetter

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

***
Hey, if you listen to podcasts, you'll probably love listening to Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors on audiobook! Download it on Audible or wherever you get your audiobooks!
***

:::
Overwhelmed and unsure where to start? Check out the START HERE podcast- I put it together just to answer the question "Where do I start?" Get your invitation at RobynGobbel.com/StartHere

:::::
Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

This episode originally aired on September 20th, 2022

Another important piece of understanding what is underneath your child's big, baffling behaviors is the Stress Response System. Our Stress Response System plays a huge role in our children's behaviors and also how we perceive those behaviors.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What stress is and how to differentiate good stress from bad stress
• The impact of trauma and toxic stress to the Stress Response System
• How to build resilience in a sensitized Stress Response System
• A reframe to shift your own Stress Response System 

Read a summary and full episode transcript at: https://robyngobbel.com/stressresponse/

Check out my recent series on Building the Foundation of the Brain mentioned in this podcast HERE

Over on my website you can find:
Video series and ebook Trauma, Memory, and Behaviors (FREE)
What Behavior Really Is: Video Series & eBook (FREE)
Brilliance of Attachment: eBook (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

***
Hey, if you listen to podcasts, you'll probably love listening to Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors on audiobook! Download it on Audible or wherever you get your audiobooks!
***

:::
Overwhelmed and unsure where to start? Check out the START HERE podcast- I put it together just to answer the question "Where do I start?" Get your invitation at RobynGobbel.com/StartHere

:::::
Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

Settle in for a fun and inspiring chat with hosts from Therapist Uncensored and authors of the new release Secure Relating, Sue Marriott & Ann Kelley.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• How responding to our children’s (and partner’s) needs in the present moment, instead of from a place of anxious or avoidant states, can improve our relationships
• About the intersection of attachment and trauma in our systems of care- like the child welfare and mental health systems
• How much hope there is when we shift to looking at attachment in the here and now instead of based on our histories

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Ann and Sue's Podcast! - therapistuncensored.com
• Pre-order a copy of Secure Relating!
• Secure Relating Online Launch! - therapistuncensored.com/upcoming_events/

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/securerelating

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

***
Hey, if you listen to podcasts, you'll probably love listening to Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors on audiobook! Download it on Audible or wherever you get your audiobooks!
***

:::
Overwhelmed and unsure where to start? Check out the START HERE podcast- I put it together just to answer the question "Where do I start?" Get your invitation at RobynGobbel.com/StartHere

:::::
Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

This episode originally aired on August 1st, 2023

Parenting a child with a vulnerable nervous system can feel like navigating a maze blindfolded. But what if we told you that understanding the balance between enabling and co-regulation could be your guiding light? This week, we break down this crucial contrast, demystifying the term 'enabling', often misconstrued in the mental health field, and venture into the science behind lowering demands - a strategy that can bolster your child’s stress response system.

In this episode you'll learn:

• The importance of being self-attuned to what's hard vs. too hard
• How to determine between lowering demands for your own comfort and doing it because it is genuinely too arduous for your child
• The difference between enabling/codependent behaviors and co-regulation

Resources mentioned in this podcast:
Connection or Protection??? {7}
What to do after We Mess up {80}
Stress Response System {94}

Read a the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/Enabling

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:

Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

***
Hey, if you listen to podcasts, you'll probably love listening to Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors on audiobook! Download it on Audible or wherever you get your audiobooks!
***

:::
Overwhelmed and unsure where to start? Check out the START HERE podcast- I put it together just to answer the question "Where do I start?" Get your invitation at RobynGobbel.com/StartHere

:::::
Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

I’m sure you’ve had moments (days, weeks, months) where it felt hard, maybe even impossible, to keep offering connection to your child.

It is hard to offer connection to someone who seems to constantly reject it!

If it feels hard to keep offering your child connection, I actually want you to shift your focus. Don’t prioritize offering connection to your child. Instead think about:

• Who can offer YOU connection?
• How can you offer connection to yourself?
• Who could you offer connection to who is able to receive it, and offer connection back?

You’ll also learn how glitter boots are related to giving and receiving connection! 

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/offeringconnection

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

***
Hey, if you listen to podcasts, you'll probably love listening to Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors on audiobook! Download it on Audible or wherever you get your audiobooks!
***

:::
Overwhelmed and unsure where to start? Check out the START HERE podcast- I put it together just to answer the question "Where do I start?" Get your invitation at RobynGobbel.com/StartHere

:::::
Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

If regulated, connected kids who feel safe do well, does that mean connected kids are always cooperative?

Definitely not! In fact, there’s a level of connection to others- and to themselves! - that invites in the safety to be UNcooperative!

In this episode, you’ll learn

• How safety can invite both cooperative and UNcooperative behavior
• Why too much cooperation would actually be a bad thing
• How parenting with co-regulation and connection helps kids become more connected to themselves

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Is Understanding Behavior Just Excusing It? {EP 109}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/cooperative

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

***
Hey, if you listen to podcasts, you'll probably love listening to Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors on audiobook! Download it on Audible or wherever you get your audiobooks!
***

:::
Overwhelmed and unsure where to start? Check out the START HERE podcast- I put it together just to answer the question "Where do I start?" Get your invitation at RobynGobbel.com/StartHere

:::::
Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

This is NOT an episode about how to make your kid go to school. 

What you WILL learn in this episode:

• What is pathological demand avoidance, or PDA?
• Schools valuing attendance above all is not helpful
• You are a good parent even if your kid doesn’t go to school
• That sometimes, all we have to do is be nice

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Can’t Not Won’t by Eliza Fricker
• The Family Experience of PDA by Eliza Fricker
• The Educator's Experience of PDA by Eliza Fricker

How to Connect with Eliza Fricker:

• Website
• Facebook
• Instagram
• Twitter

Read a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/SchoolRefusal

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

***
Hey, if you listen to podcasts, you'll probably love listening to Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors on audiobook! Download it on Audible or wherever you get your audiobooks!
***

:::
Overwhelmed and unsure where to start? Check out the START HERE podcast- I put it together just to answer the question "Where do I start?" Get your invitation at RobynGobbel.com/StartHere

:::::
Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!

Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!

Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources