This was supposed to be a well-thought-out, polished interview with artist and author Carissa Potter, better known as @peopleiveloved on Instagram. Instead, this turned out to be a vulnerable conversation about parents, religion, narcissism, and overall, our human-ness.

Our guest today, or perhaps more accurately our co-host Carissa has over 800,000 followers on social media but the first sentence on her website says that “Carissa Potter is a human longing for connection.” She writes books, makes art & public commissions, and hosts the series Bad At Keeping Secrets (one of Substack’s featured newsletter of 2022) where she talks to other humans doing really interesting things. Carissa is the founder of People I’ve Loved, her platform and stationary line that bridges the gaps between people by helping them have authentic and sometimes difficult conversations. She was named one of Cosmopolitan’s 24 People (Genuinely) Making the World a Better Place and I couldn’t agree more.

This is an extraordinarily raw and real conversation about...

- why Carissa wishes she had kids earlier in life
- the nuances of both of our religious beliefs
- what Mary’s father is like
- how being chronically late might be a sign of intimacy issues

Remember: humans are complex creatures but at our core, all we want is connection with other humans.

Follow Carissa on Instagram: @peopleiveloved
Subscribe to Carissa’s newsletter, Bad At Keeping Secrets: https://peopleiveloved.substack.com

And if you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and share it on social media! Make sure to tag @maryspodcast and @peopleiveloved

Mentioned In This Episode...
Narcissistic Abuse: https://www.stopthespincycle.com/narcissistic-abuse

If you’re going through a difficult time, here are 5 reminders to ground you in self-love.

You will learn...

• Where mantras originate from and why they’re helpful
• How to work with your mindset to gain greater perspective
• What to tell yourself when you’re going through a hard time

Which one of these affirmations resonated with you the most? Or do you have your own mantra that you love? Let me know by tagging @maryspodcast in your IG stories!

Get Mary's self-love book + journal:

• The Gift of Self-Love: a workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself

• *100 Days of Self-Love:* a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are

Mentioned In This Episode... 240 votes TikTok by @imdaven: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTFwo3So6/

f you have a chronic health condition, then you know how extra difficult it is to navigate food and body-image struggles. Between wellness culture telling you to cut out this or that food and lose weight for “health reasons,” it can be triggering to manage your symptoms without slipping back into a restrictive mindset. And the worst part is, even medical professionals prescribe dietary restrictions without screening patients for a history of disordered eating. So is food freedom possible even while living with chronic illness? Nutritionist Abbie Attwood is here to help.

You will learn...

- how to challenge diet and weight-centric medical advice

- practical tips for finding p eace with your body amidst chronic pain and symptoms

- how to approach food with conditions like PCOS, Celiacs, Chrons, IBS, diabetes, and autoimmune illnesses

Remember: Your body deserves COMPASSION even and especially in the face of chronic health challenges.

Abbie Attwood (she/her) is an anti-diet, weight-inclusive nutritionist with a master's degree in clinical nutrition. She runs Abbie Attwood Wellness, offering virtual nutrition therapy and body image coaching through both individual sessions and group programs. Abbie is also the host of the Full Plate Podcast and writes a companion newsletter.

Abbie’s personal journey with an eating disorder emerged at the intersection of competitive running, neurodivergence, and chronic illnesses. These experiences fuel her passion for working with individuals who don’t always fit the traditional image of disordered eating, offering them a space to feel seen and supported.

Her approach is rooted in self-compassion, social justice, and body liberation. Abbie helps clients worldwide heal from disordered eating, chronic dieting, body shame, and compulsive exercise, guiding them towards a more peaceful and respectful relationship with their bodies.

She splits her time between Maine and the Bay Area, where she lives with her husband and their two quirky rescue dogs. Abbie is a lover of breakfast foods, good books, the ocean, and a scoop of ice cream any time of day.

Follow Abbie on Instagram @abbieattwoodwellness
Learn more about Abbie’s group coaching: https://www.abbieattwoodwellness.com/group-coaching

And if you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and share it on social media! Make sure to tag @maryspodcast and @abbieattwoodwellness

Mentioned In This Episode...

The Full Plate Podcast Episode: No, You Can’t "Eat Your Way" To Diabetes With Erin Phillips, RD & Diabetes Specialist

The common misconception is that feeling your feelings means sitting, sulking, and staying where you are until you feel good enough to move forward.

But there’s a much more effective way to process your feelings. Tune in to learn how + hear how Mary is applying this technique to her own life.

Remember: emotions need motion!

If you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and tag @maryspodcast on social media!

And make sure to get Mary's books two on self-love:

• The Gift of Self-Love: https://maryscupoftea.com/gift-of-self-love. This is a self-love workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.

• 100 Days of Self-Love: maryscupoftea.com/journal. This is a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are.

Mentioned In This Episode... When God Was a Woman by Merlin Stone

I feel two paths diverging in my life and I feel drawn to one, but it’s more practical and potentially easier and less expensive to do the other, yet, my heart years for more. How do I know if I’m on the right path?

Tune in to hear Mary’s advice on choosing the right path for you.

Submit your questions: [email protected]

Get Mary’s self-love books:

1. The Gift of Self-Love, an interactive workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.
2. 100 Days of Self-Love, a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are.

Mentioned In This Episode... Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman

My whole life I have strived to be a “good girl.” But after this conversation with Elise Loehnen, I no longer want to be.

You will learn...
- the history behind the 7 deadly sins and how they've been weaponized by the patriarchy
- who Mary Magdalene really was and how she got mislabeled as a prostitute
- why thinness is the dominant beauty ideal in our current culture
- the connection between PRIDE and ENVY
- subtle ways women undermine each other

Elise Loehnen is a writer, editor, and podcast host who lives in Los Angeles with her husband, Rob, and their two sons, Max and Sam. She is the host of Pulling the Thread, a podcast focused on pulling apart the stories we tell about who we are—and then putting those threads back together. Ultimately Elise is a seeker and synthesizer, braiding together wisdom traditions, cultural history, and a deep knowledge of healing modalities to unlock new ways to contextualize who we are and why we’re here. She’s also the author of the instant New York Times bestseller On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good (Dial Press/PRH). The book weaves together history, memoir, and cultural criticism to explore the ways patriarchy lands in the bodies of women and embeds itself in our consciousness—and what we then police in ourselves and in each other. Regardless of our religious provenance, the self-denial implicit in each of the Seven Deadly Sins—Sloth, Envy, Pride, Gluttony, Greed, Lust, Anger—reads like a checklist of what it means to be a “good” woman. With awareness, we can begin to recognize these patterns of self-restriction, break the story, and move ourselves and each other toward freedom and balance.

Follow Elise on Instagram: @eliseloehnen
Get Elise’s book, On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good

And if you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and share it on social media! Make sure to tag @maryspodcast and @eliseloehnen

Mentioned In This Episode...
Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb

Let’s explore what it really means to trust yourself, why it's essential for your well-being, and how it impacts your decisions and relationships. I also share a personal story about my past relationships and how a lack of self-trust played a role.

You will learn...

• 3 big ways to think about self-trust
• How to discern between fear and intuition
• 3 small ways to build self-trust daily

Plus, I give you 2 powerful book recommendations to help you strengthen your self-trust.

“Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.” ~Rumi

If you enjoyed this episode, share and tag @maryspodcast on social media!

Get Mary’s self-love books:

1. *The Gift of Self-Love,* an interactive workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.
2. *100 Days of Self-Love,* a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are.

Mentioned In This Episode...

• Ep. 177: The Power of Slowing Down on Mary’s Cup of Tea Podcast
• The Gift of Fear by Gavin De Becker
• The Listening Path by Julia Cameron

After burning out on exercise during my ED days, 7 years later, I’ve been able to find a much better balance with movement. So let’s talk about HOW I’ve been able to maintain this healthy relationship with exercise– what might help you, what might hurt you, and mindset shifts to make.

You will learn...

• how to stay active in a way that’s sustainable, enjoyable, and free of toxic thoughts.
• what toxic thoughts or behaviors around exercise can look like (and how to spot them in yourself)
• the 3 phases of healing your relationship with movement
• mindset shifts to make if you want to stay active without slipping back

Remember: Your mental well-being is as important as your physical, and if your priorities were convoluted for so long during those eating disorder days, it’ll take time to come back to a sense of balance. You have time. Take it.

If you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and tag @maryspodcast on social media!

And make sure to get Mary's books two on self-love:

• The Gift of Self-Love: https://maryscupoftea.com/gift-of-self-love. This is a self-love workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.

• 100 Days of Self-Love: maryscupoftea.com/journal. This is a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are.

It’s common for wedding vows to mention how one’s partner is their “best friend.” But what does that say about our best friends who we’re not married to? And does this put too much pressure on one person to be everything for you?

Back in 2020, journalist Rhaina Cohen wrote an article for the Atlantic titled “What If Friendship, Not Marriage, Was at the Center of Life?” Not only did this piece go viral, it also paved the way Rhaina Cohen’s book, the Other Significant Others about reimagining the role of friendships in our lives.

Today Rhaina joins us to discuss…
- how/ why prioritizing platonic friendships actually makes your romantic relationship better
- the historical role that friends and marriages used to play and how that’s changed over time
- tips for taking your friendships from surface-level to depth

Relationships come in many different forms. Some are platonic, some are romantic, some blur the lines of both. As we grapple with what’s been declared as a loneliness epidemic, we must revere all types of relationships and give them the attention they deserve.

Follow Rhaina on Instagram: @rhainacohen
Get Rhaina’s book, The Other Significant Others:

Rhaina Cohen is a long-form journalist, author of the bestselling book The Other Significant Others, and producer and editor for NPR’s Embedded. Outside of NPR, she’s written for various publications, including The New York Times, The Atlantic, The Washington Post, and The New Republic. Rhaina Cohen has a B.A. in American Studies from Northwestern University and an MPhil in Comparative Social Policy from Oxford, where she was a Marshall Scholar and did research in Denmark and Iceland on paternity leave policies. She has given talks at NASA and at universities in the U.S., U.K., and Ireland and lucky for you, on the Mary’s Cup of Tea Podcast!

If you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and share it on social media! Make sure to tag @maryspodcast and @rhainacohen

JOIN THE PORTUGAL SELF-LOVE RETREAT: https://maryscupoftea.com/portugal-retreat

Mentioned In This Episode...
The Moth conversation cards
Atlantic article “What If Friendship, Not Marriage, Was at the Center of Life?”

We are starting a new series on Mary’s Cup of Tea! “Dear Mary” is your new self-love advice column where Mary answers YOUR questions.

Question: “I’ve been second guessing myself so much and feeling my confidence and self-belief waver. How do I come back to feeling in my full power?”

Answer: tune in to hear Mary’s advice on how to get your confidence back.

Submit your questions: [email protected]

If you like “Dear Mary,” please let us know by leaving a comment or review!

Mentioned In This Episode...
Mary's book, The Gift of Self-Love: https://maryscupoftea.com/gift-of-self-love. It’s a self-love workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.

The biggest mistake people make with self-love is explained this episode. We talk about how a scarcity mindset is emblematic of low self-worth and why we must be PROACTIVE when it comes to self-love.

You will learn how to...

• Identify scarcity thinking in your daily life
• Understand the societal roots of scarcity mentality
• Practice proactive self-care to avoid burnout

Remember: Take care of yourself in small ways before you burn out in a big way.

If you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and tag @maryspodcast on social media! And please consider leaving a review/ rating of the show!

Links to Mary's self-love book and journal:

• The Gift of Self-Love: https://maryscupoftea.com/gift-of-self-love. This is a self-love workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.

• 100 Days of Self-Love: maryscupoftea.com/journal. This is a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are.

Mentioned In This Episode... Ep. 150 with Dr. Anita Johnston: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/marys-cup-of-tea-the-self-love-podcast-for-women/id1495128359?i=1000597710471