Your Kickstarter Sucks

Your Kickstarter Sucks: The Podcast

Mike Hale and Jesse Farrar comb through the crowdfunding dumpster to tell you what projects are worth supporting with your hard-earned dollar. So far, it's been absolutely nothing, but whether it's a social media website for dogs, a toilet brush that reminds you to drink more water, or 5,000 offensive card games, maybe something will eventually be good!

  • 2 hours 2 minutes
    Episode 387: The Christmas Episode

    Well it’s almost time to gather round Ol’ Tannenbaum and sip some classic nog! But first, if you’ll indulge, let us celebrate a different kind of gift-giving: that of content creators to their adoring audiences! And what a merry gift it is. 

    On today’s show, you know what, I just realized we could have done all Christmas-related projects for this one. Well, we didn’t. There’s probably not even that many Christmas-related Kickstarters, anyway. Granted, I didn’t look. You coulda looked if you wanted it so bad! Why is it my job every year to bring merriment! This is supposed to be for everyone. You know what, fuck it. Christmas is over. I’ll be in the garage.

    Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Social Media by Maddalena Alvarez.

    Executive Producer Tim Faust (@crulge)

    Didn’t get any good shit for Xmas? Well, treat yourself! YKS Premium has so many hours of extra YKS content, it probably wouldn’t even fit in Santa’s bag! Pick up a sub for $5/mo and listen to something besides that damned Bing Crosby this year. 

    Follow us on Instagram: @YKSPod, TikTok: YourKickstarterSucks and subscribe to our YouTube channel for more video stuff! 

    This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:

    Rocket Money - “I hate my unwanted subscriptions but I don’t want to do anything about it!” Well, I can’t help you. The rest of you? Listen up. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com/YKS today to do that thing I said!

    NordVPN - Techies and sporties unite! NordVPN is the banner under which all remote computer users may find peace and harmony. Go to NordVPN.com/YKS for a classic deal! 

    This holiday season, give the gift of stupid bullshit! Gift subscriptions to YKS Premium are now available at Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks/gift

    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    23 December 2024, 6:00 am
  • 1 hour 37 minutes
    Episode 386: Dr Dunk and The Basketball Baby

    Now this is interesting. It says here…it looks like it says right here…that it’s almost getting close to that famous time of year known as Christmastime! Ohhh!! Heavens to murgatroyd! Just what will we be doing in 9 days time! Well I know I’ll be wiping the sleep from my eyes, bounding down the staircase, and getting MAD at my KIDS for not getting me any good TOYS! That is, unless…unless a Christmas miracle happens. But what would it be! Perhaps it would be, a simple episode of a show, from the mind of two Content Creators, who love their jobs and want to make the whole world smile. Or maybe it’s THIS CRAP!!!

    Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Social Media by Maddalena Alvarez.

    YKS Premium! It’s like this…only even more wilder, uncensored, out of control, and amazing! 

    Follow us on Instagram: @YKSPod, TikTok: YourKickstarterSucks and subscribe to our YouTube channel for more video stuff! 

    This episode of YKS is brought to you by these fine brands:

    Factor - I actually LIKE paying for 100% of my lunch. Yeah, said no one ever. Well that’s where the Factor YKS promo code comes in. Go to FactorMeals.com/50YKS and use code 50yks to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping

    Rocket Money - What have you got to lose? Well, hundreds of millions of dollars if you’re all the customers Rocket Money has helped to date! That’s a lotta moola! Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com/YKS today!

    This holiday season, give the gift of stupid bullshit! Gift subscriptions to YKS Premium are now available at Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks/gift

    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    16 December 2024, 6:00 am
  • 1 hour 57 minutes
    Episode 385: Fight For Your Right To Flush

    Intruder alert! Intruder alert! Permission to roll around at them for a second and get kicked really hard and fall apart while playing crysound.mp3 under a Jeep Grand Cherokee! ← This could be but a glimpse into our amazing future…if the geniuses over at Kickstarter are to be believed, that is. And, well, they’re geniuses. So I do believe them. I give them everything. They are my world. 

    On today’s program we have an idea for something that will finally bring this country together…and it’s on TV! Which, you know what, if anything was gonna do it, it would probably be TV. But nah. Plus, pills for old people (they love ‘em), and an exciting idea for what kind of stuff you can put inside your toilet bowl. 

    Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Social Media by Maddalena Alvarez.

    YKS Premium - Want ALL the laughs and NONE of the ads? And have a CREDIT CARD? Well that’s where YKS Premium comes in. Use the CREDIT CARD to select GIVE MONEY and you too can get ad-free episodes, a bonus episode of YKS every week, and more! 

    Follow us on Instagram: @YKSPod, TikTok: YourKickstarterSucks and subscribe to our YouTube channel for more video stuff! 

    This episode is brought to you by these fine brands:

    Pretty Litter - Kitty cat Kitty cat, won’t you rush! Down to the litter box and make your mush! Gang, when the cat goes to the bathroom it’s none too pleasant. And you get next to no info on their health! Well Pretty Litter circles that square with color-changing litter that lets you know if there’s an infection brewing in little Mittens. And it’s non-tracking to boot! Or to shoe! Go to PrettyLitter.com/yks to save 20% on your FIRST order and get a free cat toy.

    Quince - Luxury goods. Well those probably come with a luxury price, right? NO!!! WRONG!!! Not while Quince is around, gang. I’ve got some Quince stuff and it is really pretty doggone nice. I’m a big fan of the hand towels. Yeah I’m almost 40. Well so are you probably. So get some good stuff. At Quince! Get 365-day returns and free shipping at Quince.com/YKS

    NordVPN - If you have a computer, you need a VPN. There’s just no reason not to have one. There’s a lot you can do with it. I use it like every day. Stop screwing around and get NordVPN. And get an exclusive deal on NordVPN at NordVPN.com/YKS

    This holiday season, give the gift of stupid bullshit! Gift subscriptions to YKS Premium are now available at Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks/gift

    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    9 December 2024, 6:00 am
  • 2 hours 1 minute
    Episode 384: Teenage Apes with Shaved Muzzles

    Wow! You know, this is a pretty darn good time to be thinking about some new products to consider purchasing and buying and stuff like that. I hope that some companies or those fine folks who are companies but just people – entrepreneurs – come up with some good new ideas for me to consume! Perhaps I should check the circulars (ads that cavemen looked forward to). Looks like we got socks that stay together, and. Actually you know what, that’s it. That’s perfect. I don’t need anything else. I’m happy now. Thank you God! Thank you my God! I am saved. 

    Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Social Media by Maddalena Alvarez.

    YKS Premium - It’s the right thing, baby! Oh yeah!

    Follow us on Instagram: @YKSPod, TikTok: YourKickstarterSucks and subscribe to our YouTube channel for more video stuff! 

    This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:

    Factor - It’s 2024. Y’all still not eatin food? Foh!!! Head to FactorMeals.com/yks50 and use code yks50 to get 50% off your first box and 20% off your next month.

    Rocket Money - RRRRRRROOOOOOOOCKKETTTT MONEY! IT’s fast, and when you get on it, you go up and it’s way high up there! Doesn’t that sound nice. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Get Rocket Money today at RocketMoney.comYKS. 

    Uncommon Goods - Kick the common bads to the curb and get your sweetie or loved one a gift they will actually like! To get 15% off your next gift, go to UncommonGoods.com/YKS

    This holiday season, give the gift of stupid bullshit! Gift subscriptions to YKS Premium are now available at Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks/gift

    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    2 December 2024, 6:00 am
  • 1 hour 57 minutes
    Episode 383: You've Got ME

    Friendships are tested and new alliances are formed when an unexpected riff threatens to derail the pod..


    Music for YKS courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, mr baloney, and Mark Brendle.

    Ho Ho Ho Patreon gift subs are now available! The Squeeze Louise tier is the perfect gift for grandma and pop pop! Stuff your stocking with over 200 video episodes in jaw-dropping 1080p!

    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    25 November 2024, 7:10 am
  • 2 hours 2 minutes
    Episode 382: Have No Fear, Swart is Here!

    Hi everybody! I have an idea for a crab trap that makes it really hard for crabs to go into the trap, very easy for them to get out, and also it takes up a lot of space on your boat. Basically, it sucks. Hmmm…I think this will be the predominant tool of the industry for, oh, I’ll say, forever. WRONG SHITHEAD! YOU DIDN’T INNOVATE AND NOW YOU’RE DEAD! DEAD LIKE A CRAB!

    Also on today’s show we’ve got a nice little mascot for a restaurant of sorts, place to store those pesky eyeglasses, and a phone holder that you can break open to reveal the passphrases for a lottery puzzle. Actually it’s been canceled due to being illegal and stupid. But we didn’t know about this then. Because this episode…is from the recent past! Ah! Like our dreaded crab traps! Enjoy.

    Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Social Media by Maddalena Alvarez.

    YKS Premium – it’ll have you SHITTING your PANTS with laughter! Or, at least, you will have a mildly nice time with your headphones in. Sign up today at Patreon.com/YourKickstarterSucks to hear all the Kickstarters we can’t put on the regular show, help us waste our money on them, and “fan” “favorite” “segments” like the Jokeblogger Top 10 and 2 Agoraphobes Leave The House! 

    Follow us on Instagram: @YKSPod, TikTok: YourKickstarterSucks and subscribe to our YouTube channel for more video stuff! 

    This holiday season, give the gift of stupid bullshit! Gift subscriptions to YKS Premium are now available at Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks/gift

    This episode of YKS is brought to you by these fine brands:

    Uncommon Goods - Common Goods? Uh, yeah, they’re gonna be, uh, THATAWAY —>

    As for the rest of us wanting that perfect, unique gift this holiday season, we’ll be heading on over to UNCOMMONGOODS.com/yks to get 15% off our next gift!

    Factor - Yum yum yum, I’ll sure have one! This simple near-rhyme may seem silly and fun, but it actually speaks to a universal truth: Food is ever so yummy nummy. But where to get it? Well, ah! Head to factormeals.com/yks50 and use code yks50 to get 50% off your first box and 20% off your next month.

    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    18 November 2024, 6:00 am
  • 1 hour 49 minutes
    Episode 381: Everybody Clap Your Hands

    I need to simplify my life. I think probably the best way to do that is to start gluing stuff in my house to each other. That way when I want my spoon, hey, my matches are right there. And my hand towels? Well they won’t go missing again, glued such as they are to my desktop keyboard. Don’t ask me why I need them in the same spot. It’s really only something you can understand when your life is as simple as mine.

    On today’s show we’ve got, naturally, a way to glue your car keys to your phone, a thing that says it helps people but probably doesn’t (not this show), and a bed that constantly takes your dog’s blood pressure or something. And that’s just the Kickstarters! There’s other stuff in here too, like your friends Mike, JF, and Dan. And oh yeah, the Kickstarters as well. Now where'd I put that danged Post Episode button? It was right here, next to the glue bottle!!

    Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Social Media by Maddalena Alvarez.

    Oh that thang is thangin! YKS Premium!

    Follow us on Instagram: @YKSPod, TikTok: YourKickstarterSucks and subscribe to our YouTube channel for more video stuff! 

    This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:

    Rocket Money - Zoomin on up! Right up to the wonderful heavens! And we’ll be able to get back down, too, thanks to our friends at Rocket Money! It’s a full on financial suite, and you’re in the big bed! Get Rocket Money today at RocketMoney.com/YKS.

    Pretty Litter - Oh! Our kitties! How we love our kitties! And we simply must monitor their health. Our friends at Pretty Litte make that darn near simple to do. And it’s so lightweight, it might just weigh less than Mister Biscuits himself! Go to PrettyLitter.com/yks to save 20% on your FIRST order and get a free cat toy.

    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    11 November 2024, 6:00 am
  • 2 hours 28 minutes
    Episode 380: My Stupid Baby Thinks I Can Read

    Political division! It’s arguably the biggest problem facing society today, or a fake thing that does not exist at all except in the mind of feckless dorks and opportunistic grifters. Who’s to say! Probably us, I would think. Yeah. I think it’s us guys who get to say what everything is. Also some stuff that “is” this week: a type of coffee that doesn’t make you go to the bathroom, an AI that helps you talk to women, and a religious satire movie that feels at least 20 years out of date. Plus, we don’t say anything about putting down dogs in this episode so everyone’s safe from that. If they don’t read this far I guess. 

    Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Social Media by Maddalena Alvarez.

    YKS Premium - Want more YKS? You Do?! Oh my god! You have to go to the jail hospital! Haha. That would be crazy. But after all, it is one crazy show. Whether it’s even more Kickstarters, real world adventures, or our beloved series of movie review months, Mike and JF (the guys writing this) are always cooking up something fun over on YKS Premium. And best of all, a fourth thing! Wow!

    Follow us on Instagram: @YKSPod, TikTok: YourKickstarterSucks and subscribe to our YouTube channel for more video stuff! 

    This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:

    Uncommon Goods - (voice of your loved one) Oh goodie! The same old junk! I love it! ← Think this’ll happen this holiday season? Nah, me neither. That’s why Uncommon Goods is so perfect. They’ve got those unusual finds and unique gifts that’ll have your friends and family going “Yippee!” And to get 15% off that next perfect purchase, go to UncommonGoods.com/YKS. 

    Factor  - Food! It’s the great satisfier. From breakfast to lunch to dinner, and everything in between, food is that classic substance known to fill bellies and titillate mouths. Many believe that’s why we love it so much. But it’s so darn expensive and so annoying to make. That, my friends, is where Factor comes in. Delicious meals, quick! And I’m talkin’ all the foods. Head to FACTORMEALS.com/yks50 and use code yks50 to get 50% off your first box and 20% off your next month.

    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    4 November 2024, 6:00 am
  • 2 hours 5 minutes
    Episode 379: A Candid Conversation with A Reiki Master

    What a special episode! We finally got to it! The most cynical Kickstarter we have ever seen! It’s so special to actually get here and know that from here on out, every other unbuildable infrastructure project or card game rip-off or IP cash-in or political pandering or navel-gazing independent film or useless electronic doodad will be at the very least more of a genuine attempt at creating something than the project we talk about on today’s show. I am looking forward to seeing them!

    In addition to that hunk of crap, though, on today’s show we’ve got some goofy ass bible shit that feels like the end times, a project that attempts to undo the inevitability of meeting our end, and yep, a card game rip-off. Some nice comforting audio slop to offset the gobsmacking offensiveness of today’s star of the show. And no, I ain’t talkin’ about the boys themselves!! For crying out loud! 

    Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Social Media by Maddalena Alvarez.

    Miketober may be over, but YKS Premium is not! They’ll never let us stop making these damn episodes! To wit, this week we return to the mines of subpar crowdfunded content with Missed The Cut, our monthly recap of the shit that sucked juuuust a little bit too much. To wit??? The fuck is that about? To wit. 

    Follow us on Instagram: @YKSPod, TikTok: YourKickstarterSucks and subscribe to our YouTube channel for more video stuff! 

    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    28 October 2024, 5:00 am
  • 2 hours 9 minutes
    Episode 378: It’s Basically Like The Matrix

    HEY! Wake up! I’m guessing you were probably asleep when this episode came out. I mean, we’re asleep for a third of our lives, so we got a decent shot. And I love a damn underdog. Well now that you’re awake, would you like to go to the bathroom and squeeze out like a millimeter of pee? Don’t forget to keep your eyes kind of halfway closed so you don’t get all the way waked up. That always works. Alright now that you’re done and settling back into bed it’s time to relax completely without peeking at the time on the clock. Just kidding, motherfucker! It’s 3am. Now you’re fucked. Might as well listen to the show. 

    And what a show it is! Today we got a few things I think you’ll like. Well, you will if you like “camera-wires.” And if you like AI-generated football insights mailed to you a year after the actual event, you’ll be in hog heaven. Not to mention if you have an affection at all for F-tier CGI sticking Santa Clause “in the shit”. But onion tear likers? You’re shit outta luck. The rest of yas? Get in here! It’s 3:02am. Time to laugh! 

    Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Social Media by Maddalena Alvarez.

    YKS Premium - It’s like YKS…on steroids!!! Which I have been considering doing lately. Hey, why not? It could be a cool way to gain respect with few side effects.. This past week, we were joined by Blowback’s Brendan James for a very long and very scary episode all about Stephen King/George Romero joint Creepshow! And this week, to finish off Miketober V, we’re joined once again by the inimitable Howell Dawdy. So now’s the time…watch your movies, take your vitamins, sign up for YKS Premium, and…sleep well…ha ha ha. 

    Follow us on Instagram: @YKSPod, TikTok: YourKickstarterSucks and subscribe to our YouTube channel for more video stuff! 

    This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:

    Rocket Money - Rocket Money can help you set up a custom budget by identifying top spending categories and suggesting areas where you can adjust your spending habits! Now dat sounds nice! Check em out and save yourself some cash at RocketMoney.com/YKS!

    Factor - I deserve a restaurant-like experience…but I HATE going to restaurants. So obviously, I’m pretty hard to please. That was, until they introduced the wonderful Factor Meals! Now I’m eating good in MY OWN neighborhood…that’s right. My home. But don’t pay full price! Head to FACTORMEALS.com/yks50 and use code yks50 to get 50% off your first box and 20% off your next month.

    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    21 October 2024, 5:00 am
  • 1 hour 56 minutes
    Episode 377: Decent Sized Load for a Rat

    Eeeeeeeevveeerryyybboooody do the new show dance! Oh yeah! Let’s do it! I see you! Wow, guys, I knew you were super talented and always up for a crazy time, but I had no idea fans of YKS were such groovy groovers! You were really movin that thing! Well let’s put that energy to good use, shall we? By sitting still and quiet for like 2 hours while some other guys talk about the computer. Starting right….NOW!

    On today’s show we’ve got a pet memorial which honestly is fine just a little pretentious maybe but not every one of these is gonna be like CyberTruck Pedestrian Scraper, ya know? Sometimes it’s just a silly little doodad. And the idea is it prompts further spontaneous conversation. So get off my ass! And stop dancing! Plus we’ve got a QR code you can finally wear on your lapel, money you can wear on your finger, and a book that I think even the Comic Book Guy would say is the “Worst. Idea. Ever”! ™ . Copyright. Or maybe there’s some other worst ideas on the thing I forget. Only one way to find out…to keep fucking still and listen to the show! And then go on the Pisscord and say if there’s anything weird about it so we can read it and feel bad. Enjoy!

    Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Social Media by Maddalena Alvarez.

    YKS Premium - Everyone’s favorite month is here! That’s right, Miketober 1st - Miketober 31st has arrived and you’re finding yourself smack dab in the middle of it all. What’s it all about though? Well, it’s nothing more than the freepiest and deepiest movies ever to grace the silver screen, and the fellas who love em. That’s us! Sign up today at Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks to get not only Miketobers 1-5, but many more hundreds of hours of similar wacky concepts such as, Simian Month, Orangutember, and, of course, Ape Christmas. Just 5 bananas a month! 


    Follow us on Instagram: @YKSPod, TikTok: YourKickstarterSucks and subscribe to our YouTube channel for more video stuff! 


    This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:

    Pretty Litter  - Well, the cat’s gotta doodoo on somethin, don’t it? I reckon cats will never stop doodooing. Lucky for us, we can use their bathroom predilections to help find out if they’re sick! That’s right, you can monitor your cat’s health with Pretty Litter! Plus, it’s lightweight as all get out and they’ll bring it to your door. How? Well, by means of a URL, of course! And here it is: Go to PrettyLitter.com/YKS to save 20% on your FIRST order and get a free cat toy.

    The Great YKS Advertiser Survey! Hey help your boys out and answer a coupla harmless q’s about what kinda stuff we could hawk on here. Hawk tuah that is. Just kidding; it’s not that. Head to Gum.FM/YKS if ya don’t mind doin that quick favor. Survey on that thang!

    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    14 October 2024, 5:00 am
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