Living Your Default Mode

Would you like to make life easier for yourself and everybody around you?

It’s time to establish a “Personal Default Mode.”

Success in all areas of life smooths out when you know what to expect of yourself. It gets better when others know what to expect of you.

A “Personal Default Mode” is a consistent way of acting in different areas of your life. For example:

1) How do you respond to stress?

2) What happens when you don’t get what you want?

3) Is there a behavior you expect from others? Do they know it?

Most things run on autopilot when you understand how you handle day-to-day situations.  

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Never Triggered Again

Have you ever caught yourself doing or saying something you swore you would never do?  

You are TRIGGERED!

It can be frustrating when you set and don't follow the rules. Sometimes, you put your foot in your mouth. Sometimes, you put the pizza in your mouth. In any case, your emotional habits usually trigger your actions before you can do anything about them.

Controlling behaviors that have been on auto-pilot for years takes:

1) Catch yourself after the fact. Notice your mistake and find it sooner next time.

2) Catch yourself being triggered. You’re getting better.

3) Catch yourself before you act and stop it. GOAL!

Don’t let Emotional Triggers throw you off track from your goals. Pay attention to your behaviors and make minor adjustments until you get what you want.

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Are You The Monkey in The Middle?

Have you ever found yourself stuck in the middle?

I was speaking with a client trying to be everything to everybody. His business was not growing. His life was not happy. He couldn’t seem to find a way to make progress.  

That’s when I said…

“My friend, you are stuck in the middle. Nothing good happens when you are in the middle.”

In business and life, having low expectations and being surrounded by like-minded folks is okay. 

It’s also okay to reach for your dreams, has high expectations, and expect that of others.

What happens if you’re in the middle?

When low and high expectations combine, confusion is the result. Mediocrity overtakes quality. Frustration will be your daily friend.

The choice is yours. If I were you, I would make the decision never to get stuck in the middle.

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5 Words To Succeed at Anything

When I was a baby DJ in broadcast school, I spent a lot of time learning the rules of journalism. While that subject fills books, almost everything we needed to know was -

Who? What? When? Where? Why?

If you know that information, you can tell a complete story.

Years later, I re-arranged the formula for personal growth. Every time I set goals and consider a different direction, I ask -

What? Why? When? Where? Who? 

Occasionally I need to ask HOW I will accomplish my goal - but that usually takes care of itself.

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Let Your Greatness Shine

 Whether in business, having a job, going to school, or living your life, your ability to present well will supercharge your success.

Here are five tips I use every day:

1) Understand that most folk only expect you to wow them. They are not expecting bad. You shouldn't either.

2) Join the conversation THEY already have inside their head, not the one YOU are having.

3) You'll move faster if you drop the small talk and dig into the meat of your communication. You can fill in additional information later.

4) The sooner you get people to suspend disbelief and engage with you, the sooner you will succeed.

5) Stop overkill. Find the first best place to take your exit and bring your meeting to an end.

You're going to be amazed at how well this works.

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Focusing on YOUR Important

As a child, I remember heading out the door for a day in an endless adventure. It usually concluded with a game of Hide-And-Seek.  

Those days seemed to last forever.

These days, most of us are still running until the sun goes down. But there's so much to do that we rarely have time to ponder the bigger picture.

Remember-

You will always find time for your most important tasks. You will eat, sleep, pay bills, feed the dog, and take care of your children - no matter how crazy life gets.

When life gets crazy, and you scream, "Something has to GIVE…" it's usually your dreams for the future that get put off.

Steven Covey reminded us how important it is to focus on what's important as much as possible. Make sure you put yourself on the list too. Then, when life goes off the rails, fix it as soon as possible, get back to what's essential, and keep moving.

Not all dreams come true, but the important ones always seem to come your way.

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The Will and Way of Change in 30 Days

Only a silly person thinks you can change everything about your life in 30 days - right?

Call me silly, but everything I've ever done was rooted in a 30-day sprint - even if I didn’t know it.

Here's how you do it:

1) Set what Napoleon Hill calls a Major Definite Purpose or a Big Ass Goal.

2) Stop negative self-talk. Others may throw sticks and stones; don't throw them at yourself.

3) List all the reasons you CAN be successful. Make it a long list.

4) Decide that you will do whatever it takes to reach your goal. For the next 30 days, nothing will stop you.

The impossible becomes possible when you are focused, willing to take massive imperfect action, and won't take no for an answer.

By the way…

When you seek or follow your purpose in life, your life will become one big non-stop happiness sprint.

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Interpreting Your Calling

Is the Universe whispering and nudging you to move in a specific direction? 

Before I go on, I must admit that I am certainly not an expert in the Universe or if it works in our life. The magic of gravity is enough to blow my mind, and the only Secret I know is that you are the only one in charge of getting what you want in your life.

But what if you know that Universe is speaking to you? Calling you, compelling you to get off the sofa and do what you say you want to do? But you still won’t do it?

Many years ago, I was in the habit of listening to those voices whispering inside my head and following whatever I thought they said for me to do. Eventually, after many false starts, I realized the messages were not black or white. There didn’t seem to be any particular order, and they were almost always out of context with my life. In other words, mindlessly following my feelings often ended with me not getting what I wanted, and whatever I wanted to get away from became more assertive in my life.

One night at about 3 AM, a thought popped into my head—

“Maybe I’m not supposed to do what I’m hearing? Maybe I’m stuck in my thinking, and the Universe is giving me more of what I’m focused on.

You get what you focus on. That’s a basic rule of life. 

It made sense to me that whatever I was focused on would linger in my brain until I questioned it from a different angle - whether I wanted to your not. That’s when I started flipping the script and created my 180 Degree Rule.

Now, when a thought pops into my head and convinces me of the direction I’m supposed to run with all my enthusiasm, I pause and ask—

“What if it really means I’m supposed to move away instead of forward?”

With that new way of thinking, everything changed. It didn’t get easier, and sometimes took time to choose a path. Still, questioning the context of the wisdom as it applied to my current life and experience allowed me to avoid dead ends and frustration. 

And another thing happened…

My life became more balanced and calm by going into “trust but verify” mode. Instead of chasing dreams of what might be a reality, I focused on adjusting my reality to be more like the vision I held in my heart.

When the Universe speaks to you, it doesn’t always include context and directions. Take a minute to decide if you’re supposed to move toward or away, and clarity will emerge.

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10 Daily Rules for a Happier You

Every day, we all jump into the craziness of life without much thought of the basic rules we use to run our day. 

Here are a few of mine. You can borrow them if you would like:

1) Do what makes your heart sing. You'll always feel better when you are dancing down your path.

2) Believe anything is possible. As soon as you believe - everything IS possible.

3) Be nice to others. Expect them to do the same. No further explanation is required.

4) Believe in people and encourage their dreams. When you do, they'll return the favor.

5) Do the right thing. If you mess up, say you're sorry, try again. 

6) Meet people where they are in their lives and walk with them to where you both want to go.

7) Do what you say you will do. It's always better to under-promise and over-deliver. 

8) Make lemonade out of lemons. Everything is fixable if you have the right mindset.

9) Keep things simple. Yup.

10) Relax. Life is short. Double yup.

Focusing on life's big picture makes it easier to enjoy your daily experiences.

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7 Stoic Rules for Happiness

I'm a fan of Stoic Philosophy. While it may be over 2,000 years old, its practicality is still valid.

These rules to live by will help you have a happier life:

1. If you're going to learn and succeed, be humble. There is always someone more intelligent, more successful, and wiser.  

2. Find the right scene. Choose your friends and situations. If you want to rise in life, you can't allow yourself to be held down by others.

3. Protect your time. Seneca said, "We're tight-fisted with property and money, yet think too little of wasting time, the one thing about which we should all be the toughest misers." Life is short.

4. Never do anything out of habit. Always think about how you can do things better, and always question yourself. 

5. Keep it simple — do your job. Approach every task as if it were your last because it very well could be. 

6. Adapt and learn from failure. Using your success to justify complacency is common. It's also easy, which is why most people do it. You can do more and be better.

7. Live below your means. The more you need work to maintain your needs, the less you will enjoy what you have.

Everything in life comes down to keeping things simple and mastering the basics. That's how you get the success you deserve.

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Opening New Doors Fuel Your Dreams

One of my favorite questions is, “What CAN I Do?” 

No matter how challenging a situation. 

Answering that question always reveals a clear path.

As they navigate our new world, I hear my clients ask me that question, too. 

My answer usually goes something like this -

“Can you do it? When you open a new door, you will find a new opportunity. Start opening more doors.”

Feeling empowered in a world that is draining your energy is like Tesla on a cross-country trip without charging stations is difficult. To ensure you are never running low, remember that dreams, possibilities, potential, and a feeling of certainty are all powered by new opportunities.

When you open a new door, an opportunity reveals itself. Your challenges will fade as you focus on the new way. But you must be willing to open a new door to find it.

The key to thriving in uncertain times is finding opportunities behind new doors. All you have to do is open the door. 

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