Aleen’s across the pond, but Sami and Jordana are here IRL. Guess what? Jordana moved again… lucky number 7! Now onto the event of the year… fashion’s biggest night– the MET Gala! Sami and Jordana share their favorite looks from the evening and introduce our new segment, Who Wore It Betch? Sponsored by Sparkling Ice. Was Zendaya their fave, and why was Kim K wearing a cardigan?! We have a lot of thoughts… From the MET to the GOAT– yes we’re talking about the epic roast of Tom Brady. Jordana gives her debrief after watching with Mike. Justice 4 Bridget Moynahan, listen and you’ll find out why. The two share which celebs they’d love to be roasted next, and the list is endless. The Betches wanna be roasted! Perhaps a joint 40th birthday founders roast? They wrap up with WTF is going on in the rap world aka Drake and Kendrick’s latest beef. Bring Esther Perel on to facilitate the roast of these guys. Therapy sessions are the new roast, we don’t make the rules. Our Betch of the Week is Tyla, because she had the best outfit, and got people to carry her up the stairs. Drake and Kendrick will be sent to the Caymans so they can work out their sh*t together Parent Trap style.

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We begin today’s episode with Sami’s celeb sightings and peak and pit from her time at the White House last week. Hint, one includes Jon Hamm. The Betches do a quick segue into The Valley, because Jax Taylor and Brittany were at the Correspondents Dinner… Switching gears from celebs in DC to NYC-- we’re less than a week away from the MET Gala. The 3 give their predictions on who will show up. And how miserable will Ben Affleck look? His wife is a co-chair of the evening after all… Then onto the IG comment that sent the internet spiraling: Barbra Streisand asking Melissa McCarthy if she’s on Ozempic. Then onto another quick Baby Reindeer recap because Jordana is curious. She also gives her Anyone But You review. Is Sydney Sweeney a good actress… or is she just really hot? Thus going into a convo on what their fave bad romcoms of all time are. Jax Taylor will be sent to the Caymans because he sent Brittany to a tantric sex expert. Wtf?! Barbra is our Lifetime Achievement Betch of the Week, because she made the internet funny during some dark times.

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Sami kicks off today’s episode coming at you live from DC. Then onto the album on everyone’s lips… The Tortured Poets Department, and what are our fave songs so far? We’re into petty Taylor (especially when she likes and then unlikes our IG post!) Speaking of petty, the Betches delve into the Kim K song drama of it all… Will Taylor ever get over it? Speaking of Kardashians, Kylie Jenner might be pregnant again! Listen and you’ll find out our theories on where her relationship with Timotheé stands. They wrap with a debrief on the hottest new show, Baby Reindeer, plus a Bravo recap. Nelson Peltz (Nicola’s daddy) will be sent to the Caymans for initiating and failing at his Disney takeover…. What is he so mad about? Betch of the Week of course, has to go to Tay, for the most streams in a day of her new album. She’s forever the Queen of breaking her own records.

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The original recipe is back, IRL. Aleen kicks things off with a revelation that one day, some day, she *will* turn 40, but at least she has a trip to Japan to look forward to. Of course, we have to discuss all things Taylor ahead of The Tortured Poets Department release. Even Jordana has to admit Tay and Travis looked really cute at Coachella. On a *not so shocking note * the Golden Bachelor Gerry Turner is getting a divorce after 3 months of marriage to Theresa Nist…. It’s giving Kim K and Kris Humphries. Our Betch of the Week is NCAA superstar Caitlin Clarke, who’s worth way more than she’s being given. Get your sh*t together WNBA. As for the Caymans? Gerry and Theresa are on their way, they knew this divorce was coming before they even got married…. We’re unable to be duped.

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Ciao betch, Sami’s celebrating her birthday in Italy, but Aleen and Jordana are here to discuss all the pop culture tea of the week, starting with an immediate breaking news story while recording. They recap their earthquake and eclipse stories– Aleen has an emergency bunker. Jordana’s not invited, unless she promises not to tell anyone…. Betches Luv This Bunker– has a nice ring to it right? Then, onto an in depth debrief on the Curb finale and the Brandy Melville doc that has every millennial reeling right now. Noah Cyrus liked who’s thirst trap? That’s right, her sister Miley’s ex-husband Liam Hemsworth’s. WTF is going on with that family? Speaking of Miley, JoJo Siwa’s tryna enter her own Can’t Be Tamed era, and causing quite the stir. In happier news, another Bridget Jones movie is in the works. Larry David is our Betch Of The Week, his show’s had a good 25 year run. And Stefan, the founder of Brandy Melville will be sent to the Caymans. No further questions.

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The Betches are fresh off the heels of their speaking engagements at Harvard Business School, what like it’s hard?! They recap their trip and the drama that ensued afterwards. Then onto the biggest pop culture news of the week: Beyonce’s Cowboy Carter has arrived, and Jolene better sleep with one eye open. Taylor Swift has *officially* achieved billionaire status, and she Travis are going to Coachella together. Sorry, are they 26?! Lizzo’s quitting-- well not really. Listen and you’ll find out her reasoning. They wrap up with Aleen’s thoughts on Shogun, and Jordana finally watched Buying Beverly Hills! If you’re a reality TV lover, and if you’re still confused if canned tuna is chicken or fish tune into our website and socials on Monday April 8th to see what we’ve been cooking up.

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The Betches begin this week’s episode with their peaks and pits of their collective 35th birthday Mexico getaway-- including what they were up to when they found out about the shocking Kate Middleton news. We all owe her an apology... Then onto some other serious topics (not the lightest news day). They discuss Diddy’s FBI home invasion and their thoughts on the the chilling Quiet on Set Nickelodeon documentary. In happier news, Ariana Maddix is finally moving out of her house with Tom Sandoval! Will she back at VPR or is it time for her to move on? And finally, Beyonce’s album drops tonight, we’ve never been so excited to listen to country music.

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The trio is back in action. According to Aleen, the joke’s on us because the Caymans are lovely. We’re recording a day early, because the Betches are going on their collective bday trip tomorrow to Mexico, so first they dive in to KateGate. Of course we’re talking about the TMZ video. Is it a body double? Why are the Royals carrying plastic bags? Is Rose Hanbury the posh Raquel Leviss? Then onto America’s knockoff royal family- the Kardashians, or at least their exes... Caitlyn Jenner and Lamar Odom are launching a podcast together and their logo is giving clip art. What does Khloe think about all this? We won’t be listening. Onto another clickbait headline, Travis Kelce’s new hosting gig-- Listen and you’ll understand the irony.

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Happy Bday Aleen! An important day for Pisces everywhere. While Aleen’s in the Caymans, Sami recaps her trip to the White House and Jordana gives a sneak peak into her U Up interview with her dream guest Esther Perel. They recap the (boring) Oscars, where the most exciting headline seems to be Vanessa Hudgens’ pregnancy. Kim K also continues to attempt to hard launch Odell at every major event, including the Vanity Fair Oscars After Party, and no one cares. Speaking of couples, are Taylor and Travis on the rocks? Sami thinks so, while Jordana thinks Tay should consider circling back to one of her exes. Then onto more piping hot English breakfast tea – Kate Middleton’s photoshop fail, and Prince William’s alleged affair. We’ll see how things look after Easter… Also, this just in, Meghan Markle has a new lifestyle brand that just launched mid-recording… American Riviera Orchard. They wrap up with a VPR recap and the Mauricio/ Hilton drama. Olivia Rodrigo is our Betch of the Week for handing out Plan B and condoms to fans on the GUTS tour. Kensington Palace’s PR team will be sent to the Caymans. No further questions.

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Sup, betch. Sami is podcasting from DC today, before heading off to the White House! We fear she’s become a Gen Z TikToker, because she’s doing a GRWM while recording. A multi tasking queen. The three dive in on one of Sami’s fave topics: the Royals and Kate Middleton’s suss spotting. Can we all give the girl a break?? Next, some Bravo updates: splits, pregnancies, and a new couple feat. an Olsen twin’s ex. Listen and you’ll find out who. Then, the Cyrus family’s love triangle drama is giving the plot of Something’s Gotta Give. Sami and Aleen wrap up with their hot takes on Kate Winslet’s new show, The Regime. Tish and Dominic will be sent to the Caymans. Your job as a parent is not to date your daughter’s ex… duh. Parenting 101.

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All 3 betches are back in studio IRL, and joined by a very special guest… Sami’s new puppy! It’s toasty AF in here, so the gals are schvitzing and stressin’. Speaking of stress, the 3 kick off today’s episode with the name on everyone’s lips: Kate Middleton — WTF is going on and what won’t William tell us?! We’re waiting for her TikTok debut, preferably to Beyonce’s Texas hold ’em. Now onto another man stirring up some drama, Travis Kelce… and his Vegas partying after only visiting Taylor down under for 2 days. He’s a very “committed boyfriend.” Jordana and Sami give their Love is Blind debrief — does Chelsea really look like Megan Fox?! Sami thinks a different celeberity… listen and you’ll find out. They wrap up with Sami’s detailed retelling of Reesa Teesa’s TF Did I Marry? Yup, the story told in 52 parts on TikTok. See? We can be our own documentarians. Our Betch of the Week is Ruth Gottesman, for her $1 billion donation to the Albert Einstein College of Medicine, which will cover for free tuition in perpetuity for all medical students.

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