In the depths of the dark net, tech journalist Carl Miller makes a disturbing discovery: a secret Kill List targeting hundreds of innocent people on a murder for hire website. When the police decide not to investigate, Carl is thrown into a race against time to warn those in danger and uncover the truth about the people who want them dead. From Wondery and Novel, comes a true story about obsession, control and the price of life and death.

Listen to Kill List on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts: Wondery.fm/Kill_List 

You can listen to Kill List and more Exhibit C true crime shows like Morbid early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery+. Check out Exhibit C in the Wondery App for all your true crime listening.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

After coming out and finding self-acceptance, a man faces his greatest physical and emotional struggle yet when a celebratory skydive takes a terrifying turn.

Today’s episode featured Brad Guy. If you’d like to reach out to him, you can email him at [email protected], or you can find him on Instagram and TikTok @bradjguy.

Visit bradguy.com to order his memoir “Freefall” and to book him for speaking engagements.

Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits, Aviva Lipkowitz

Content/Trigger Warnings: childhood obesity, being in the closet, self-hatred, serious accident, serious bodily injury, falling from a plane, parachute malfunction, death, suicidal ideation, explicit language

Social Media:

Instagram: @actuallyhappening

Twitter: @TIAHPodcast

Website: thisisactuallyhappening.com

Website for Andrew Waits: andrewwaits.com

Website for Aviva Lipkowitz: avivalipkowitz.com 

Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happening

Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at wondery.com/plus

Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop. 

Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.com

Intro Music: "Illabye" – Tipper

Music Bed: Uncertain Outcomes

Services

If you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources:

National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988 

National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264

National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

After facing years of abuse, a determined woman dedicates her life to the pursuit of success, becoming a renowned broadcaster, fundraiser and cyclist; but after a grueling, multi-continental bike ride, she faces ultimate darkness, forcing her to confront the deepest wounds of all. 

Today’s episode featured Charlie Webster. If you’d like to reach out to her, you can visit her website at charliewebster.com/contact or you can find her on Instagram @charliewebster, on Twitter @charliecw or on TikTok @charlieaswebster. 

She has a new book called “Why It's Ok To Talk About Trauma” which you can find on Amazon or her website charliewebster.com. She also has an ABC TV docuseries premiering on October 9th, which is based on her podcast, Scamanda. The docuseries has the same name. 

Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits, Aviva Lipkowitz

Content/Trigger Warnings: domestic abuse, child abuse, sexual abuse, suicide, severe physical illness, blood, coma, near death experience, explicit language

Social Media:

Instagram: @actuallyhappening

Twitter: @TIAHPodcast

Website: thisisactuallyhappening.com

Website for Andrew Waits: andrewwaits.com

Website for Aviva Lipkowitz: avivalipkowitz.com 

Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happening

Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at wondery.com/plus

Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop. 

Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.com

Intro Music: "Illabye" – Tipper

Music Bed: Union Flow

Services

If you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources:

National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988 

National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264

National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

After healing from a major trauma as a teenager, featured in Episode 111 of this show, our storyteller returns to share a dramatic follow up. In this episode, in the wake of his grandmother’s death, he begins taking a volatile medication cocktail and suffers a severe manic break, living on the streets among society’s most disregarded, confronting his deepest shadows and being forced to piece his life back together once again.

Today’s guest requested to remain Anonymous. If you want to reach out to him, please email him at [email protected]. 

Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits, Aviva Lipkowitz

Content/Trigger Warnings: drug use, death, grooming, sexual exploitation, sexual assault & rape, manic break/manic behavior, explicit language

Social Media:

Instagram: @actuallyhappening

Twitter: @TIAHPodcast

Website: thisisactuallyhappening.com

Website for Andrew Waits: andrewwaits.com

Website for Aviva Lipkowitz: avivalipkowitz.com 

Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happening

Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at wondery.com/plus

Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop. 

Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.com

Intro Music: "Illabye" – Tipper

Music Bed: Re-Entry

Services

If you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources:

National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988 

National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264

National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Paul Bergrin is a hotshot criminal defense attorney in Newark, New Jersey. Seemingly unstoppable and with unorthodox methods, he’s built a reputation for getting his clients off the hook. But as Paul's legend grows, so do the suspicions swirling around him. 

When FBI Agent Shawn Brokos starts investigating a major drug ring, she makes a shocking discovery: the gang's most powerful player is none other than Newark’s star attorney. Has the ex-federal prosecutor crossed the line and started committing crimes himself?

From Wondery, comes a new series about a lawyer who breaks all the rules, the FBI agent determined to take him down at all costs, and the people caught in the middle who paid the ultimate price.

Listen to Criminal Attorney on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen early and ad-free on Wondery+. Join Wondery+ in the Wondery App or on Apple podcasts. Start your free trial by visiting Wondery.fm/Criminal_Attorney now. 

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

A teenage boy comes of age through an eclectic mentor, but ends up in the arms of a predator.

Producer: Whit Missildine

Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappening

Website: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com

Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening

Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: www.actuallyhappeningstore.com to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop. 

Content/Trigger Warnings: explicit language

Intro Music: ""Illabye" – Tipper

Music Bed:   "Cylinder Four" "Cylinder Five" - Chris Zabriskie

Outro Music: "The Moon is Down" - El Diablo & Adam Schraft (Rojo y Negro) @eldiablosf @rojo-y-negro www.eldiablobass.com/

Services

If you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 

National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264

National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Growing up in poverty with an absent father, a boy finds family in a gang, but after his best friend is murdered, he unravels into a spiral of rage, violence, prison, and ultimately, an unexpected forgiveness. 

Today’s episode featured Chris Diep. If you’d like to reach out to him, you can email him at [email protected], or you can find him on LinkedIn as Christopher Diep. 

Special thanks to Yoana Tchoukleva for bringing us Chris's story.

Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Wait, Aviva Lipkowitz 

Content/Trigger Warnings: Vietnam war, graphic violence, gang violence, familial separation, drug use, robbery, prison, death of a parent, death of a child, racism, suicide, explicit language

Social Media:

Instagram: @actuallyhappening

Twitter: @TIAHPodcast

Website: thisisactuallyhappening.com

Website for Andrew Waits: andrdewwaits.com

Website for Aviva Lipkowitz: avivalipkowitz.com

Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happening

Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at wondery.com/plus

Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop. 

Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.com

Intro Music: "Illabye" – Tipper

Music Bed: “Cylinder Four” - Chris Zabriskie

Services

If you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources:

National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988 

National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264

National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

An ambitious mother settles with her two sons into the quiet, idyllic life of her dreams, but after losing her son in a massacre that shakes the nation, she dedicates her life to carrying on her son’s message of love.  

Today’s episode featured Scarlett Lewis. Scarlett founded the Choose Love Movement after her six-year-old son, Jesse, was murdered during the Sandy Hook Elementary School tragedy in December 2012, which remains one of the worst mass shootings in U.S. history. Through the Choose Love Movement, Scarlett teaches everyone from young children to prison inmates how to deal with feelings of anger before they escalate into violence. The Choose Love curriculum has been accessed in over 14,500 schools across 120 countries. 

Scarlett is the author of two best-selling books: Nurturing Healing Love: A Mother’s Journey of Hope & Forgiveness, and From Sandy Hook to the World: How the Choose Love Movement Transforms Lives.

If you’d like to learn more about Scarlett, you can find her on Instagram @ChooseLoveMovement, on Twitter/X @ChooseLoveM, on Facebook @JLChooseLove and on her website: chooselovemovement.org, or email: [email protected]

Scarlett’s story came to us by way of Todd Rennebohm. Scarlett was originally featured on Todd's podcast, Bunny Hugs and Mental health, which focuses on conversations with survivors, professionals and families of those who have lost someone to mental illness and addictions. So please check out Bunny Hugs and Mental Health, and a special thanks to Todd for referring today's guest.

Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits, Aviva Lipkowitz

Content/Trigger Warnings: divorce, guns/gun violence, suicide, homicide, murder, school shooting, death, death of children, funeral, Sandy Hook, Sandy Hook denier, explicit language

Social Media:

Instagram: @actuallyhappening

Twitter: @TIAHPodcast

Website: thisisactuallyhappening.com

Website for Andrew Waits: andrdewwaits.com

Website for Aviva Lipkowitz: avivalipkowitz.com

Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happening

Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at wondery.com/plus

Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop. 

Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.com

Intro Music: "Illabye" – Tipper

Music Bed: Ambient Themes by Nigel Coutinho

Services

If you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources:

National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988 

National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264

National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

A Port Authority employee narrowly escapes from the 68th floor after a plane hits the World Trade Center on September 11th, 2001, but the most devastating impact comes from the psychological wounds that haunt her life for decades after. 

Today's episode featured Kayla Bergeron. In addition to serving as chief of public and government affairs for The Port Authority of New York and New Jersey, Kayla has also served in senior roles for the New York State Housing Finance Agency and South Florida Water Management District, the lead agency restoring America's Everglades. 

Kayla currently resides in Suwanne, Georgia and serves as Program Director, and as a Certified Peer Support Specialist -Addictive Disease (C.P.S.- A.D.), for The Connection Forsyth, a 501c3 non profit recovery community organization, based in Cumming, Georgia. Kayla works as a social media consultant for Special Equestrians of Georgia, in Milton, Georgia, also a 501c3 non profit, where she participates in equine-assisted therapy.

Kayla recently started a gofundme for Special Equestrians of Georgia, where she receives equine-assisted therapy for PTSD. Last year, Special Equestrians of Georgia (SEG), based in Milton, GA, had to close down its hippotherapy program due to COVID-19 and safety concerns. As a result, many of the horses had to be rehomed. Currently, SEG provides equine-assisted therapy for teens and adults with mental health challenges, including depression, PTSD, anxiety and trauma. With COVID-19 Delta variant hovering, Special Equestrians of Georgia may be forced to shut down its doors -- for good. It costs approximately $3,000 to fund the program, which includes feeding and special dietary needs, farrier, veterinarian, medicine and facility maintenance. Please help by donating to Special Equestrians of Georgia.

This episode is part of a special, four-part series called The Long Shadow. Twenty Years after the attacks of September 11th changed the world as we knew it, this month the This Is Actually Happening podcast dives deep into the stories of four survivors whose jobs brought them face to face with the unthinkable. For those called to manage an impossible tragedy up close, the events of September 11th represented a uniquely horrifying challenge. Among the harrowing details of that day, we explore the long shadows of trauma and resilience that continue to inform the looming uncertainties that remain with us today.

Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits

Social Media:

Instagram: @actuallyhappening

Twitter: @TIAHPodcast

Content/Trigger Warnings: violence, sexual assault, injury, terrorism, mention of suicide, alcoholism, addiction, mental illness explicit language

Website: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com

Website for Andrew Waits: www.andrdewwaits.com

Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plus

Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening

Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop. 

Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.com

Intro Music: "Illabye" – Tipper

Music and Sound Design by: Marcelino Villalpando

Services

If you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 

National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264

National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

A horrific accident leaves a man severely disabled, but after hitting rock bottom in his recovery a new life opens he could never have imagined

Today’s episode featured Dustin Reynolds. Since this interview, Dustin has made it down to Colombia, and is planning on heading to Panama, Galapagos, and Polynesia before returning to Hawaii. To find out more about Dustin, see pictures and follow his journey or donate to help him complete the voyage, go to thesinglehandedsailor.com. You can follow him on Instagram and Facebook @thesinglehandedsailor. You can also support him on Patreon and GoFundMe:

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thesinglehandedsailor

GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/hngchb-support-the-single-handed-sailor

Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits

Social Media:

Instagram: @actuallyhappening

Twitter: @TIAHPodcast

Content/Trigger Warnings: car crash, severe injury, amputation, explicit language

Website: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com

Website for Andrew Waits: www.andrdewwaits.com

Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plus

Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening

Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop. 

Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.com

Intro Music: "Illabye" – Tipper

Music Bed: “Cylinder Four/Cylinder Five” - Chris Zabriskie

Services

If you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 

National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264

National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

A mother faces the ultimate tragedy at the hands of those who are supposed to protect and serve.  

Today’s episode featured Taun Hall. To find out more about Taun and Miles and the Miles Hall Foundation, go to justiceformileshall.org. There you can see the video mentioned in the episode, donate to the campaign, learn more about the case or get involved. You can also join the community on Instagram @justiceformileshall or on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/justiceformileshall

Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits

Social Media:

Instagram: @actuallyhappening

Twitter: @TIAHPodcast

Content/Trigger Warnings: mental illness, racism, violence, murder, police brutality, explicit language

Website: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com

Andrew Waits: http://andrdewwaits.com/

Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plus

Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening

Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop. 

Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.com

Intro Music: "Illabye" – Tipper

Music Bed: “Re-Entry” – Lee Rosevere

Services

If you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 

National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264

National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.