The pod welcomes commentator Bill Leslie for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as he chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football.

Bill and the panel explore stadium architecture quirks, nearby fans taking issue with live commentary observations, the most generic Championship play-offs semi-final lineup possible, the two types of mid-game petering-out, needless away kits ruining the pre-match excitement and pretentious/professional pronunciations of foreign players' names.

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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the first-ever mention of xG in a mainstream TV drama, cult Spurs strikers plying their trade in academia, how many historical goals a striker needs to be eligible to be “still banging them in”, the definition of a "sumptuous" goal and much more.

Meanwhile, the panel ponder how many consecutive hat-tricks would take a striker from Sunday League to the Premier League

Please VOTE for Football Clichés as the FSA Podcast of the Year: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/fsa-awards-2024

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: the BBC explains the US electoral system in unexpected football terms, Noel Gallagher's Champions League co-commentary debut, the crucial differences between "busting a gut" and "breaking your neck" to get into the box and a footballer's name shared with a pharmaceutical supplies company.

Meanwhile, the panel debate the "big five" of the cheese world and discuss Nick's new book, Who Owns Football?

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Please VOTE for Football Clichés as the FSA Podcast of the Year: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/fsa-awards-2024

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: a dubious use of the Sunday League staple of "Still 0-0, lads!", some unprecedented Carabao Cup co-commentary self-awareness, Ethiopian bars named after venerable Premier League wide men, absurd match postponements in the 10th tier and Andy Gray's 20-year obsession with teams having defenders on the posts at corners.

Meanwhile, the panel wonder which current player could most plausibly play for any of the 20 Premier League clubs and enjoy some sensational data journalism about elite-level throw-ins of the mid-2010s.

Please VOTE for Football Clichés as the FSA Podcast of the Year: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/fsa-awards-2024

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a classic footballers' namesake mix-up, whether a goalkeeper's save in a shootout can "send a team into the next round", how many consecutive defeats a club can be "staring down the barrel" of, journeyman film directors, a glorious Powerleague chant, an unexpected celebrity endorsement for underfloor heating and Keysey's verdict on the Manchester United hotseat.

Meanwhile, the panel establish the fundamental footballing differences between a curse and a hoodoo and discuss household objects that they instinctively control like footballs when dropped.

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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the post-Ten Hag news cycle begins in earnest, a brief but tantalising moment of doubt over whether Peter Drury said the word "dude" on commentary, the ongoing devaluing of the phrase "captain's goal", too many footballers' names in the new Jack Reacher novel, Barcelona's plucky tweeting, and a strange mix-up involving two Andy Townsends.

Meanwhile, the panel discuss which Premier League manager looks the most "darts" and enjoy the performance of a football commentator on a mid-1990s tv quiz show.

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker are joined by returning special guest Doc Brown to entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.

Among the selections are the fascinating "recovery" routines of players who have faked injury to win a free kick, guessing what co-commentators are saying when the pub TV has the sound off, the superficial mannerisms of a part-time amateur goalkeeper, the precise motivation for asking “How long ref?!” in Sunday League and the dubious importance of always knowing who your team's next opponents are.

Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel enjoy some unexpected Premier League commentary in a Jamaican dancehall track and some rare well-researched football small talk in a TV drama.

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Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is available to pre-order: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a player going down "like a game of Jenga", a record amount of figurative "freedom" for a Premier League goalscorer, Darren Cann's flag-waving Premier League legacy, a new tune for the chant mocking teams who've thrown away a 2-0 lead, Inter Miami's slightly-too-humble nickname, and an Andy Gray reference in some Austrian fifth-tier commentary.

Meanwhile, the panel enjoy a Twitter debate about the best players for each Premier League kick-off time and discuss how to behave while attending games as a neutral.

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker are joined by Michael Cox to decide the most famous match from football history to go with (almost) every scoreline.

A bore draw or a backs-to-the-wall job for 0-0? Can a 1-1 draw ever be "iconic"? A 3-2 win that had a whole book written about it, Forfar 5 East Fife 4, a surprising dearth of truly legendary 6-0s, Puskas vs Le Tissier in the battle for the definitive 6-3 and a very exotic 10-0 at the Maracana.

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller. On the agenda: the most cliche-aware player in the Premier League, acceptable football references at the darts and unacceptable football references in financial TV dramas, daytime TV quiz show couples who sound like footballers, a Premier League-backed project to teach the world the language of English football and Richard Keys’ voice briefly appearing in the most random of places.

Meanwhile, the panel provide a guide to "Doing a [Club X]" and select European stadiums that look more like English ones (and vice versa.)

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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The Football Clichés Quiz returns with a visit from a two-man team from the venerable Football Ramble podcast for a battle of niche football trivia.

The questions include: The Eredivisie or Neverdivisie, failed UK petitions, Watford or Notford, Football things dubbed into various European languages, Sven’s CV, football-adjacent Olympic sports that never were, the 1997 Sony MiniDisc Euro Sixes, the agonising audio of mystery missed sitters, surprisingly unmemorable Premier League mascots, Happy Hunting Grounds and a football-trivia fight to the very end.

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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