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Narcissists will use any means to control you, especially guilt.

In this episode, Dr. Kerry and Lisa discuss the common reasons guilt is such a powerful weapon in the hands of a narcissist or toxic personality.

For practical examples of common guilt phrases and how to break free from this toxic dynamic, join the Podcast Extra’s newsletter on SubStack for immediate access to this week’s exclusive video.
Join here: substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

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Stay in Touch with Us!

Kerry McAvoy, PhD

• Youtube - https://youtube.com/kerrymcavoyphd
• Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/kerrymcavoyphd
• TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@kerrymcavoyphd
• Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/kerrymcavoyphd

Lisa Sonni

• Youtube -  https://youtube.com/@strongerthanbefore
• Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/_stronger_than_before_coach
• Tiktok - https://www.tiktok.com/@_stronger_than_before
• Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/StrongerThanBeforeCoaching

More About Us!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D.

Dr. Kerry, a retired psychologist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism. Her blogs have been featured in Mamami, YourTango, Scary Mommy, and The Good Men Project. In Love You More, Dr. McAvoy gives an uncensored glimpse into her survival of narcissistic abuse, and her workbook, First Steps to Leaving a Narcissist, helps victims break free from the confusion common in abusive relationships. She hosts the Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse podcast and offers trauma-related advice on social media.

Lisa Sonni

Lisa Sonni is a certified Life & Relationship Coach, specializing in trauma bond recovery and abuse education, who helps clients from all walks of life overcome challenges stemming from traumatic partnerships. She has published an online self-guided course, The Trauma Bond Recovery Course, and several books, The Trauma Bond Recovery Journal, and Surviving to Thriving: A Six-Step Blueprint to Narcissistic Abuse Healing and Recovery.

With 7 professional certifications and her own personal experience as a survivor of narcissistic abuse, her expertise is geared towards getting clients to a good space in their lives and within themselves. Lisa has two children and enjoys cooking, reading, and walks. She is a popular content creator on TikTok, Instagram, Facebook and YouTube under the name Stronger Than Before with over 1M followers, where she educates people on abuse tactics, narcissism and domestic violence.  She has helped thousands of women exit and rebuild their lives.

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Have you noticed how upset narcissists get? How they can't regulate themselves?

Anna Runkle of the wildly popular Crappy Childhood Fairy YouTube channel joins me today to talk about the importance of learning how to regulate yourself, especially after living with a narcissist.

Learn more about the role of psychological regulation plays in setting us free from the lingering effects of trauma and abuse.

Want to know the first steps to gaining peace and control after an upsetting event? Find out Anna's recommendations when you become a subscriber of Breaking Free Podcast Extra Substack newsletter. Get exclusive access to this extra interview along with takeaways and practical how-tos. Get immediate access here:

To learn more about Anna:
Website: https:crappyChildhoodFairy.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/crappychildhoodfairy/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CrappyChildhoodFairy/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@crappychildhoodfairy
Get her latest book, Re-Regulated: Set Your Life Free from Childhood PTSD and Change the Trauma-Driven Behaviors That Keep You Stuck Here: https://amzn.to/3PpG8Fx

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Stay in Touch with Us!

Kerry McAvoy, PhD

• Youtube - https://youtube.com/kerrymcavoyphd
• Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/kerrymcavoyphd
• TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@kerrymcavoyphd
• Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/kerrymcavoyphd

Lisa Sonni

• Youtube -  https://youtube.com/@strongerthanbefore
• Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/_stronger_than_before_coach
• Tiktok - https://www.tiktok.com/@_stronger_than_before
• Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/StrongerThanBeforeCoaching

More About Us!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D.

Dr. Kerry, a retired psychologist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism. Her blogs have been featured in Mamami, YourTango, Scary Mommy, and The Good Men Project. In Love You More, Dr. McAvoy gives an uncensored glimpse into her survival of narcissistic abuse, and her workbook, First Steps to Leaving a Narcissist, helps victims break free from the confusion common in abusive relationships. She hosts the Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse podcast and offers trauma-related advice on social media.

Lisa Sonni

Lisa Sonni is a certified Life & Relationship Coach, specializing in trauma bond recovery and abuse education, who helps clients from all walks of life overcome challenges stemming from traum

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

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There are powerful psychological reasons why love bombing works nearly every time.

In this episode, Dr. Nadine Macaluso, the ex-wife of the Wolf of Wall Street shares what she’s uncovered about why we fall so easily spellbound for a toxic or narcissistic individual.

What questions you have asked Dr. Nae about the movie, The Wolf of Wall Street? Find out ours when you subscribe to the Podcast Extra Substack newsletter. Unlock access here: http://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

To learn more about Dr. Nadine Macaluso (often known to as Dr. Nae), please visit: https://drnae.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drnaelmft
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealdrnadine/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheRealDrNadine
LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/therealdrnadine/

FREE GIFT FOR LISTENERS: Download the First Chapter of Dr. Nae’s new book, Run Like Hell: A Therapist’s Guide to Recognizing, Escaping, and Healing from Trauma Bonds: https://drnae.com/giveaway-book/

Dr. Nae’s Book:
Run Like Hell: A Therapist Guide to Recognizing, Escaping, and Healing from Trauma Bonds: https://amzn.to/3PodpkA

                                      ****************************************

Stay in Touch with Us!
Kerry McAvoy, PhD
Youtube - https://youtube.com/kerrymcavoyphd
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/kerrymcavoyphd
TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@kerrymcavoyphd
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/kerrymcavoyphd

Lisa Sonni
Youtube -  https://youtube.com/@strongerthanbefore
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/_stronger_than_before_coach
Tiktok - https://www.tiktok.com/@_stronger_than_before
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/StrongerThanBeforeCoaching

More About Us!
Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D.
Dr. Kerry, a retired psychologist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism. Her blogs have been featured in Mamami, YourTango, Scary Mommy, and The Good Men Project. In Love You More, Dr. McAvoy gives an uncensored glimpse into her survival of narcissistic abuse, and her workbook, First Steps to Leaving a Narcissist, helps victims break free from the confusion common in abusive relationships. She hosts the Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse podcast and offers trauma-related advice on social media.

Lisa Sonni
Lisa Sonni is a certified Life & Relationship Coach, specializing in trauma bon

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

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Send us a text

Victims return to a narcissistically abusive relationship an average of seven times.

In this episode, Lisa and I discuss why leaving a narcissist or toxic partner is so extremely difficult and share some thoughts on how to view leaving differently. 

Are you struggling to stay out of a toxic relationship? Does your partner’s emotional pleas or guilting convince you to stay? Learn practical steps to leaving a toxic relationship for good in this week’s Podcast Extra. Get immediate access by subscribing to Substack here: substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

Did you know you don't need to wait a week for your next podcast fix? For only $5/month, sign up for weekly podcast extras!  Join me on Substack! 

Follow Dr. McAvoy!

• YouTube: @kerrymcavoyphd
• Instagram: @kerrymcavoyphd
• Facebook: @kerrymcavoyphd
• E-mail: [email protected]
• Newsletter: https://breakingfreenarcabuse.substack.com/ 
• Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., a mental health specialist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her memoir, Love You More: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse.

As an Amazon affiliate, a commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

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Trauma bonds are one of the most misunderstood yet powerful connections that narcissists and toxic individuals exploit to keep their partners trapped.

These bonds create a confusing dynamic where the very person causing harm becomes the source of comfort—a cycle that is as addictive as it is painful.

In this replay of a fan-favorite episode, Lisa Sonni joins me to break down the making and breaking of trauma bonds. Together, we uncover how these devastating ties form, why they’re so hard to escape, and what you can do to break free.

If you’re battling a trauma bond—whether you’re still in the relationship or working to heal—there is hope.

Join the Trauma Bond Recovery Group Coaching led by myself, Dr. Kerry, and Lisa Sonni. Get the support, personalized tools, and proven strategies you need to reclaim your freedom and peace of mind.

👉 Secure your spot today: https://kerrymcavoyphd.com/trauma-bond-recovery/

Did you know you don't need to wait a week for your next podcast fix? For only $5/month, sign up for weekly podcast extras!  Join me on Substack! 

Follow Dr. McAvoy!

• YouTube: @kerrymcavoyphd
• Instagram: @kerrymcavoyphd
• Facebook: @kerrymcavoyphd
• E-mail: [email protected]
• Newsletter: https://breakingfreenarcabuse.substack.com/ 
• Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., a mental health specialist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her memoir, Love You More: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse.

As an Amazon affiliate, a commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

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Today you are in for a treat with a longer interview, featuring three of my favorite experts on narcissism: Dr. Les Carter, Dr. Peter Salerno, and Bill Eddy.

In this episode, each of these men will describe what is narcissism, how narcissists view relationships, and why they behave as bullies.

Instead of a podcast extra interview, this week I’m offering a holiday survival guide to help you get ready to spent time the very people you’ve probably tried to avoid all week.

Learn how to manage tricky conversations, avoid lose-lose situations, and self-soothe when they emotionally step on your toes. Get immediate access when you subscribe to Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse Podcast Extras on Substack: substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

Did you know you don't need to wait a week for your next podcast fix? For only $5/month, sign up for weekly podcast extras!  Join me on Substack! 

Follow Dr. McAvoy!

• YouTube: @kerrymcavoyphd
• Instagram: @kerrymcavoyphd
• Facebook: @kerrymcavoyphd
• E-mail: [email protected]
• Newsletter: https://breakingfreenarcabuse.substack.com/ 
• Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., a mental health specialist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her memoir, Love You More: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse.

As an Amazon affiliate, a commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

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Have you been told that you should just leave?

In this episode, Lisa Sonni and I discuss why this advice severely misses the mark. Why exiting a narcissistically abusive relationship is difficult and even dangerous for most abuse survivors.

Resources Mentioned in the Episode
The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker
Character Disturbance by George Simon
Dangerous Personalities by Joe Navarro
The Passionate Marriage by Dr. David Schnarch

Are struggling to figure out what you should do in that toxic relationship? Maybe you don't know the next steps to take. Get practical help on this week's Podcast Extra Interview by becoming a Substack Subscriber here: http://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

A Quick Announcement
Lisa Sonni will officially join as a full-time co-host in 2025. Welcome, Lisa! We are so excited to have you aboard.

A Special Thank You!
I’ve deeply appreciated Lisa and Rossana Faye being regular special guests this past year. I’d also like to recognize the other behind-the-scenes people who helped make this show possible, especially Joe Duncan and Arianne Bansig. Each works tirelessly to make every episode extra special. You both are amazing!

Fan Mail
Thank you for the fan mail! For sharing your struggles and victories. We would also love to hear topic recommendations. Thank you so much for supporting us by being a regular listener. You are the reason for this show. We love and appreciate you so much! 

Did you know you don't need to wait a week for your next podcast fix? For only $5/month, sign up for weekly podcast extras!  Join me on Substack! 

Follow Dr. McAvoy!

• YouTube: @kerrymcavoyphd
• Instagram: @kerrymcavoyphd
• Facebook: @kerrymcavoyphd
• E-mail: [email protected]
• Newsletter: https://breakingfreenarcabuse.substack.com/ 
• Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., a mental health specialist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her memoir, Love You More: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse.

As an Amazon affiliate, a commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Support the show

Send us a text

Narcissistic abuse often leaves devastating consequences to the survivor’s confidence and self-esteem.

Today, Kristin Arden, DNP, APRN, PMHNP-BC, Mindbloom’s Clinical Director, and Shari Botwin, LCSW, trauma counselor, join me to discuss the use of ketamine therapy as a new alternate treatment option for trauma survivors.

If you would like to learn more about Mindbloom or ketamine therapy, please see https://mindbloom.com/kerrym100. To take advantage of the $100 off total of your first two treatments, use discount code “kerrym100.”

Did you know the brain is malleable and open to change? It’s called neuroplasticity. In this week’s exclusive Podcast Extra interview, Kristin and Shari discuss how to best capitalize on our brain’s openness to change. Get immediate access to this interview when you subscribe to the weekly newsletter.
Join here: substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

Did you know you don't need to wait a week for your next podcast fix? For only $5/month, sign up for weekly podcast extras!  Join me on Substack! 

Follow Dr. McAvoy!

• YouTube: @kerrymcavoyphd
• Instagram: @kerrymcavoyphd
• Facebook: @kerrymcavoyphd
• E-mail: [email protected]
• Newsletter: https://breakingfreenarcabuse.substack.com/ 
• Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., a mental health specialist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her memoir, Love You More: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse.

As an Amazon affiliate, a commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

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Have you considered that a narcissistically abusive relationship is actually a cult of two?

Daniella Mestyanek-Young, author of Uncultured and expert in cult dynamics, joins us to discuss the similarities between cult leaders and narcissists.

Be sure to follow Daniella!
TikTok - @knittingcultlady
Website: Uncultureyourself.com
And get a copy of her book, Uncultured: https://amzn.to/3CDhFcY

Could you be in a coercively controlling relationship? In this week’s podcast extra, Daniella tackles how to wake up to toxic and covert manipulation and control strategies.

Get immediate access to this exclusive interview when you subscribe to this podcast’s weekly Substack newsletter. All Podcast Extra interviews are embedded inside each weekly publication.
Subscribe here: substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

Did you know you don't need to wait a week for your next podcast fix? For only $5/month, sign up for weekly podcast extras!  Join me on Substack! 

Follow Dr. McAvoy!

• YouTube: @kerrymcavoyphd
• Instagram: @kerrymcavoyphd
• Facebook: @kerrymcavoyphd
• E-mail: [email protected]
• Newsletter: https://breakingfreenarcabuse.substack.com/ 
• Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/
  
  

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., a mental health specialist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her memoir, Love You More: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse.

As an Amazon affiliate, a commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

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As a nod to this week’s holidays, let’s revisit three of my favorite episodes that discuss how to handle being too big- or kind-hearted.

We at the Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse podcast hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday!

Are you interested in the Podcast Extra Interviews?

Get immediate access by subscribing to the Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse Substack newsletter. Every Podcast Extra interview can be found inside the weekly newsletter. You’ll also get helpful tips, explanations, and strategies for dealing with troubled or toxic people. Sign up here: substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

Links Mentioned: 

• Codependent No More by Melody Beattie: Melody Beattie
• Facing Codependency: What It Is, Where It Comes from, How It Sabotages Our Lives by Miller, Miller, and McMillan
• Not Nice: Stop People Pleasing, Staying Silent, & Feeling Guilty by Aziz Gazipura, PsyD

To learn more about the Dark Triad Personality Type, check out, “Could you be at risk? Why you should be afraid of the Dark Triad Personality” -  https://www.buzzsprout.com/2150391/episodes/12978484

To listen to the full episodes featured today:
—>S2 EP 10: Is Codependency a Bad Word?
Audio: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2150391/episodes/12428199
Video: https://youtu.be/aF9cW1b7Dtk

—>S2 EP 23 Does Everyone Deserve Our Kindness?
Audio: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2150391/episodes/13150918
Video: https://youtu.be/RMVMtCF3N4A

—>S2 EP 40: Does the Narcissist Always Ruin Your Holiday?
Audio:  https://www.buzzsprout.com/2150391/episodes/13922710
Video links: https://youtu.be/RzSxypGEtpI

Did you know you don't need to wait a week for your next podcast fix? For only $5/month, sign up for weekly podcast extras!  Join me on Substack! 

Follow Dr. McAvoy!

• YouTube: @kerrymcavoyphd
• Instagram: @kerrymcavoyphd
• Facebook: @kerrymcavoyphd
• E-mail: [email protected]
• Newsletter: https://breakingfreenarcabuse.substack.com/ 
• Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., a mental health specialist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her memoir, Love You More: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse.

As an Amazon affiliate, a commission is earned from qualifying purchases

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Support the show

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Narcissistic relationships are parasitic in nature. Toxic personalities often drain others of their time, money, attention, and resources.

In this podcast, Lisa Sonni joins me to discuss the high and sometimes hidden cost of narcissistic relationships.

Reference: The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van de Kolk: https://amzn.to/3AtGt6z

Ready to heal from narcissistic abuse? Join Lisa and my upcoming Healing Strong live group coaching. Groups limits to 8 and the next group begins Jan 9, 2024. Secure your spot here!

Looking for direction on what first steps you should take to heal from a toxic relationship? Become a Substack newsletter subscriber and get immediate access to this week’s Podcast Extra interview. Get your access here: substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

Did you know you don't need to wait a week for your next podcast fix? For only $5/month, sign up for weekly podcast extras!  Join me on Substack! 

Follow Dr. McAvoy!

• YouTube: @kerrymcavoyphd
• Instagram: @kerrymcavoyphd
• Facebook: @kerrymcavoyphd
• E-mail: [email protected]
• Newsletter: https://breakingfreenarcabuse.substack.com/ 
• Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., a mental health specialist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her memoir, Love You More: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse.

As an Amazon affiliate, a commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Support the show