Today, I want to talk to you about a question that lingers in the hearts of so many: Why can’t I feel intimate with my partner? Let me assure you, you’re not alone in asking this. Intimacy, that deep connection we all crave, can feel impossible when you’re caught in the web of emotional abuse.

Victims of covert abuse spend years wondering what is wrong with them.

Why am I not more sexually attracted to my partner?

We go to the doctor to learn what is wrong with us.

We try medications and hormones. We try stress reduction and eating healthier.

We try to just force our way through it.

But nothing seems to work!

This is because you are having a very normal reaction to a person that does not feel safe to you. A covert narcissist's impact on intimacy is profound and often heartbreaking. Intimacy requires trust, vulnerability, and emotional safety. These qualities  are absent in relationships with covert narcissists.

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

• Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?
• Are you searching for people who get it?
• Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?
• Are you running in circles in your mind?
• Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?
• Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?

I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com

Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

#Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

The holidays can be a difficult time for survivors of covert narcissistic abuse—what should be moments of joy often become memories of tension and survival. In this heartfelt episode, I reflect on past holidays that were filled with anxiety and share how I transformed my life and home into a sanctuary of peace, love, and laughter.

Six years after leaving a chaotic environment, I’ve learned how to reclaim joy, create genuine connection, and build a home where feelings are safe and celebrated. If you’re struggling this holiday season, know that healing is possible. Join me as I offer hope, share my personal journey, and provide encouragement for those longing to turn survival into peace and transformation.

This holiday, you deserve joy. You deserve peace. And you are strong enough to create it.

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

• Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?
• Are you searching for people who get it?
• Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?
• Are you running in circles in your mind?
• Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?
• Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?

I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com

Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

#Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

Emotional abuse is often described as insidious, and for good reason. It doesn’t have to happen constantly to dominate your thoughts, emotions, and decisions. Even if the abuse only happens 10% of the time on a clock or calendar, the fear of it, the anticipation of it, and the recovery from it consumes your mind 100% of the time. 

You are constantly analyzing it, trying to figure out what went wrong, wondering what you could have done and so on. Let’s talk about why that is and what we can do to take back our mental and emotional space.

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

• Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?
• Are you searching for people who get it?
• Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?
• Are you running in circles in your mind?
• Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?
• Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?

I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com

Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

#Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

I can’t keep living like this. I’ve tried everything I know to try. Things might get better for a little while, but it never lasts. I continuously find myself right back in the same place. Over and over trying to explain how I feel and everything is always flipped back at me. I’ve been doing this for years, or even decades, and I just can’t do it anymore. I’ve tried everything I can try. I’m damaged. My kids are damaged. I’m done. I want out, now what?
That very thought can be intensely overwhelming! Getting out of the relationship can seem impossible. How will I support myself? What about our kids? How will the family all react? How will he/she react? How do I tell them? What am I thinking? I can’t possibly do this.
It is very easy to stay in the relationship because it seems like the simpler answer. Even the thought of trying to leave can send us into a whirlwind. Heart racing, stomach feeling like it is trying to turn inside out, body tense, mind racing. How can I even be considering this?
I know these feelings all too well. I never thought in a million years that I would be taking those steps. I never saw it coming. But I just could not stay. I had tried everything I could possibly try. I didn’t have anything left in my tank. And I could not continue this way.
Do I file first and then tell him? Do I move out first? Do I tell him first? Do I pack bags? Do I tell him to leave? What do I do first?
There are so many different ways that all this happens. There is no magical “right” answer. The path is different in every situation and at the end of the day is not the most important piece. The important part is that you found your voice and your strength.
They are going to be upset no matter how you tell them. In person, by phone, write a letter. Say it this way or that way. It truly does not matter. Do you really think that you can find the magical way where they will not be angry?
So do what feels right to you. You have spent enough time and energy trying to figure out how to not upset them. You have tap danced around them enough.

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

• Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?
• Are you searching for people who get it?
• Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?
• Are you running in circles in your mind?
• Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?
• Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?

I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com

Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

#Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

Are you dreading the holidays? Approaching them with a pit in your stomach?

I remember those days all too well! I didn't want to take the trips with him. I didn't want to go visit family with him. I didn't want to be with him 24/7.

Who dreads the holidays? People who are living with a covert narcissist or visiting a covert narcissistic family member

 

To those of you who are heading into these holidays with covert narcissists in your life, I see you. I hear the discouragement and exhaustion in you. I hear your cry for peace.

We have to find some humor at times or we are all going to lose our minds. So this year we are playing covert narcissist BINGO!

On the bingo cards you will find:
Rolling their eyes, huffing, sulking, calling you names, digging remarks, dismissive attitude, gaslighting, passive aggressive statement, victim playing, backwards apology, and much more.

For your copy of a bingo card, join my mailing list at http://www.covertnarcissism.com

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

• Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?
• Are you searching for people who get it?
• Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?
• Are you running in circles in your mind?
• Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?
• Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?

I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com

Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

#Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

Can you get PTSD or CPTSD from a relationship with a covert narcissist
100% yes!! Let’s talk about PTSD and CPTSD in relation to narcissist abuse. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is trauma response triggered from a single terrifying event, such as:
•natural disaster
•home intrusion
•car accident
•serious injury
Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is trauma responses developed from ongoing or chronic trauma. It is prolonged traumatic events, such as:
•ongoing abuse
•childhood abuse
•domestic violence
•kidnapping, enslavement
•prisoner of war
The majority of people exposed to trauma do not develop long-term post-traumatic stress disorder. It is important to get help and support to prevent our normal stress reactions from developing into PTSD. A vital piece of this is the deep human need to feel safe. You need emotional safety.

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.
•Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?
•Are you searching for people who get it?
•Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?
•Are you running in circles in your mind?
•Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?
•Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?
I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com
Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse
http://www.covertnarcissism.com
https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson
https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson
https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

For those of you who have been or currently are in a relationship with a covert narcissist, what are some of the things you thought were totally normal but now realize are not normal?

That relationships are SO incredibly hard, like trying to get water from a rock. Isn’t that the way it is supposed to be?

“Feeling ridiculously anxious when you hear their car pull in and the front door open.” Or when the garage door opens!

“Name calling and screaming!” How did we ever get to the point that we thought this was normal and acceptable?

“Not having access to the bank account” It is NOT normal for a spouse to not have access to the family’s finances. Allowances are for children, not spouses. This is a partnership, not a dictatorship.

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

• Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?
• Are you searching for people who get it?
• Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?
• Are you running in circles in your mind?
• Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?
• Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?

I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com

Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

#Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

Welcome to Covert Narcissism Podcast, I’m your host Renee Swanson. This is a safe space where survivors of covert narcissistic abuse find hope, understanding, and healing. Today, this episode is dedicated to you—an affirmation of your strength, resilience, and worth. Take a deep breath, settle into a comfortable space, and let these words remind you of the incredible person you are.

Remember, your worth isn’t determined by what you’ve endured but by the incredible strength you’ve shown in rising above it. Keep moving forward—you are deserving of love, light, and peace. Your healing journey is yours alone, but you are never alone. We see you!

 

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

• Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? 
• Are you searching for people who get it? 
• Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do? 
• Are you running in circles in your mind?
• Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them? 
• Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?

I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com

 Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

 

#Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

This episode is dedicated to everyone who is going through the upcoming holidays with a covert narcissist. As the world sees this “wonderful” person in your life, I see you! I see the pain, the doubt, the confusion, the fear. 

People who have survived this often feel invisible, dismissed, or doubted when sharing their experiences with others. Today, we’re diving into what survivors wish more people understood, and how we can better support those who’ve endured this hidden abuse. Let’s unmask the truth together.

Welcome to the Covert Narcissism Podcast, the podcast where we expose hidden truths and give voice to the survivors of covert narcissistic abuse. I’m Renee Swanson, your host, here to unpack a topic that’s both difficult and necessary—covert narcissism.

Today’s episode is about validation—what survivors wish more people understood, and why the world needs to do a better job in listening, believing, and supporting those who are going through this invisible abuse.

 

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

• Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? 
• Are you searching for people who get it? 
• Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do? 
• Are you running in circles in your mind?
• Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them? 
• Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?

I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com

 Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

 

#Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

I would never have said that abandonment was a concern for me in my marriage. He was never going to leave me. He would never run off with another woman. I knew that he would always be home in the evenings and on the weekends.
Other people talked about the issue of abandonment. Some narcissists do run off with affairs. They discard their victim simply to get another one. But that didn’t apply in my situation. So I really didn’t think that abandonment was an issue for me.
Until one day, I opened my eyes and realized I was wrong. I was absolutely dealing with abandonment. He abandoned me within our home every single day. He completely isolated himself constantly. He lost himself in video games and movies for hours on end. This was every evening after work, every weekend, every holiday, every vacation, no matter where we were or who we were with. He disengaged from our lives. He checked out completely again and again and again!

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse. •Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?  •Are you searching for people who get it?  •Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?  •Are you running in circles in your mind? •Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?  •Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world? I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse http://www.covertnarcissism.com https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

Have you ever experienced a covert narcissist trying to make peace? How did that go? Did you walk away feeling better? Or did you walk away feeling like you had just been through hand to hand combat? When a covert narcissist tries to make peace with you, you go through yet another level of destructive interactions. This destruction centers around a facade of sympathy, backwards apologies, intense blame shifting, minimizing their bad behavior, and entitlement in the form of expectations of your forgiveness and "return" to them.

  We often talk about intimate relationships here. But today I share a story of someone dealing with a covert narcissist at her place of work. In the work environment, dealing with a covert narcissist is extremely difficult and complex. Setting your own boundaries for yourself becomes absolutely necessary.  

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

• Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? 
• Are you searching for people who get it? 
• Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do? 
• Are you running in circles in your mind?
• Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them? 
• Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?

I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com

 Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

 

#Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast