An emergency situation while hiking on the Appalachian Trail resulted in an extremely normal trauma response from me. Realizing the correlations between this trauma response and my past trauma responses to covert narcissism opened my eyes. My responses to trauma are normal responses! I'm not broken. I'm not over-reactive. These situations with a covert narcissist have been traumatic, and my system responded accordingly. I hope this personal story helps you to make the same connections in your journey of healing.

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

• Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? 
• Are you searching for people who get it? 
• Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do? 
• Are you running in circles in your mind?
• Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them? 
• Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?

I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com

 Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

 

#Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

Are you trying to decide if all you are going through is "normal," or if it is fair and reasonable?
In the last two episodes, I have talked about the codependency traits that so many victims have in common and the eternal victim role that covert narcissists play. These two things get trapped together so incredibly often.
On one side, you have a person who does no self-reflection, no self-improvement, and no internal work. Instead they express out all the ways they have been hurt in life. The abuse they suffered as a child. The mistreatment from parents, siblings, friends. The abuse they suffered from previous relationships, leaving them “broken” and insecure. The ways that everything you say hurts them, reminds them of their past abuse, resurfaces their hurt self. The eternal victim!
On the other side, you have a person who desires to care for others. To build other people up. To help others become the best they can be. To “fix” them. To save them. Willing to do the extra work. Willing to give the benefit of the doubt. To carry extra blame so the other person doesn’t have to. To carry your own load and half of theirs too. To look at your own smallest faults and blame these over the massive faults the other person displays. To hold yourself accountable for everything, while letting them off the hook for anything.
This is NOT a good combination! Works out great for the covert narcissist, who does none of the work and does anything they want all the time. It is horrible for their partner, who does all the work and never does anything they themselves want.

 

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse. •Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?  •Are you searching for people who get it?  •Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?  •Are you running in circles in your mind? •Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?  •Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world? I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse http://www.covertnarcissism.com https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

There is an absolute fog that comes from dealing with covert narcissism. You struggle to think straight anymore, and the mind is running in circles

 

Many survivors ask me, "Is something wrong with me? Will I ever be normal again?"

 

When you have been through a traumatic relationship, that trauma has an effect. 

I say trauma for a reason.

This is not a normal relationship with its normal ups and downs.

This is not a situation where you just grew apart

There is an enormous difference between a disappointing marriage and a destructive one.

 

Trauma is an intense physical and psychological response to an event, series of events, or set of circumstances that is experienced as harmful or threatening. And trauma overwhelms the brain!!  

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

• Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? 
• Are you searching for people who get it? 
• Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do? 
• Are you running in circles in your mind?
• Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them? 
• Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?

I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com

 Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

 

#Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

 

Meet an extraordinary woman , an attorney, recipient of the governor's award for advocacy with survivors of domestic violence, and international best selling author who triumphed over narcissistic abuse, with two marriages to narcissists behind her, she harnessed the transformative power of her mind and thoughts on her path to healing and personal growth. Her transformation came when she shifted from “why me” to “for me”. Hear her incredible story today!

https://www.linkedin.com/in/stephanyann?utm_source=share&utm_campaign=share_via&utm_content=profile&utm_medium=ios_app

 

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100092716308108&mibextid=LQQJ4d

 

 

Are you finding yourself reactive? Short-tempered? At least to them? Maybe even repulsed by their presence? This is a problem. This is the person living in my house, sleeping in my bed, professing their love to me, raising my kids with me, traveling with me. I can’t live like this. This has to change! How do I get my body to stop reaching to his presence?   Even if you cannot get physical space from the covert narcissist in your world, you must begin the process of getting mental and emotional space from them. Here are 7 steps to help you gain this distance now.   I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

• Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? 
• Are you searching for people who get it? 
• Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do? 
• Are you running in circles in your mind?
• Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them? 
• Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?

I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com

 Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism   #Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast      

I hear so many people who have lived with a covert narcissist describe this person as a victim of everything. They can make everything be an attack on them or another way they got slighted.
Covert narcissists love to play the victim role. They see themselves as an eternal victim. They will deny this of course. If you try to talk to them about it, then they will often react with sullenness and despair at how much your words are hurting them. Taking them right back into that victim role. Of course, you can’t say this is exactly what I am talking about because they will just loop it right back around on you.
It isn’t always clear as to whether they actually truly see themselves as victims or not. Do they believe they are victims or are they just manipulating the social situation to feed their intense need for attention? This is not always clear. But regardless, the victim mentality fills many of the needs of a covert narcissist. It goes hand in hand with many of the characteristics of narcissism, and we are going to explore this today.
This victim role is so damaging when you, as a kind, caring and compassionate person, have a burning desire to help others, to treat others with respect, to care for others. We often go too far in believing that their pain and suffering is all our fault. If you are struggling with this, please listen to this episode today!

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse. •Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?  •Are you searching for people who get it?  •Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?  •Are you running in circles in your mind? •Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?  •Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world? I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse http://www.covertnarcissism.com https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism  

#abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #covertnarcissism #podcast

Dealing with a covert narcissist is different from dealing with people who are “narcissistic”. Most of the advice out there is just for dealing with people who are narcissistic, and that’s a lot of good information. There is a problem though. Covert narcissists don’t appear narcissistic.    Covert narcissists are…not blatantly narcissistic. In fact, overall seem like a really good person - present as caring, kind, generous, involved in the community, loved by those around them, a great catch They are seemingly the complete opposite of a narcissistic person.   I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

• Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? 
• Are you searching for people who get it? 
• Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do? 
• Are you running in circles in your mind?
• Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them? 
• Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?

I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com

 Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism   #Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast      

I now know the role that my own codependent tendencies played in creating this match. This match that I was convinced was made in heaven. This match that I truly believed was perfect. This match that was such a disaster. This match that nearly destroyed my own health and the lives of my boys.
I realize now how much my own background played a part in all of this. How that very background could cause me to easily repeat this pattern, like so many do. So many victims leave one abusive relationship and walk directly into another one. I get asked so often, how do I break this cycle of toxic relationships?
Start by looking, not at those you are with, but instead directly at yourself. Your own tendencies, your own survival skills, your own reactions, your own expectations, your own boundaries or lack thereof. Let’s look at YOU!
NO, this isn't your fault in any way!! You didn't ask for the abuse in any way! But these codependent tendencies make us huge targets for narcissistic people, especially covert narcissists. It is time to break this cycle!!

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse. •Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?  •Are you searching for people who get it?  •Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?  •Are you running in circles in your mind? •Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?  •Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world? I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse http://www.covertnarcissism.com https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

I am not a therapist, and you are not a victim. I am an advocate, and you are a survivor.  

I have faced the massive amounts of confusion 

I have been curled up on the floor of my closet unable to function 

I have faced all the self-doubt and self-blame.

I've never tried so hard in anything in my life as I did at this marriage 

This is not a normal relationship, a normal marriage, or a normal breakup.

 

Fortress Debt can help you gain your financial freedom!

www.covertnarcissism.com/fortress

  I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

• Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? 
• Are you searching for people who get it? 
• Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do? 
• Are you running in circles in your mind?
• Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them? 
• Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?

I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com

 Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism   #Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

The entitlement of a narcissistic person screams, "I am special simply because! I am better than everyone. I am more important than everyone. Everyone knows I am special and should treat me as such."   Individuals with narcissistic tendencies expect special treatment. They feel that good things should come their way simply because of who they are. Not because of anything they have or haven't done, but rather just because they "deserve" it.   They believe that they are superior to others and thus deserve special treatment. They expect more respect and more attention, often demanding treatment that is different from everyone else and not at all reasonable. In fact, it is often quite shocking behavior from a full-grown adult. Where does this entitlement come from? From a deep internal emptiness. We are going to talk about that emptiness, where it comes from and how it plays out with covert narcissists.   I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse. •Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?  •Are you searching for people who get it?  •Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?  •Are you running in circles in your mind? •Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?  •Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world? I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com   Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse   http://www.covertnarcissism.com   https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson   https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson   https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism  

Today we're talking about the thousand bee stings in a relationship with a covert narcissist. Actually we are not talking about the thousand bee stings because that's not what the actual problem is. We are talking about what happens between the bee stings. Healthy marriages have bee stings too, but healthy marriages reconcile. With covert narcissists, there is no reconciliation. You are met with circular conversations, silent treatment, blame shifting, gaslighting and passive aggressiveness.   I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

• Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? 
• Are you searching for people who get it? 
• Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do? 
• Are you running in circles in your mind?
• Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them? 
• Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?

I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com

 Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism   #Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast