Growing up with a covert narcissistic mother can set the stage for a lifetime of fixing, pleasing, and sacrificing your own needs. In this episode, Cara shares her journey of living under the shadow of covert narcissism and how it shaped her identity as a fixer and a people pleaser. From the unfillable emotional hole left by her mother to the toxic relationships she found herself drawn to, we explore how covert narcissistic abuse created patterns she didn’t even realize she was repeating.

Cara discusses the moment of clarity when she asked her mother to see a therapist with her—and her mother’s hurtful refusal that left her questioning her own sanity. Through inner child healing and learning to be her own anchor, she has taken steps to break the cycle and create a life of freedom, peace, and self-love.

If you’ve ever felt trapped in a cycle of toxic relationships and struggle to heal from a narcissistic parent, this episode is for you. Let’s talk about reclaiming your life, setting boundaries, and finally putting yourself first.

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

• Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?
• Are you searching for people who get it?
• Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?
• Are you running in circles in your mind?
• Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?
• Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?

Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

#Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

Keywords: covert narcissism, covert narcissistic mother, narcissistic abuse, people pleaser, codependency, inner child healing, breaking free from covert narcissism, emotional abuse recovery, toxic relationships, self-love and healing.

How Healing Transforms Your Responses to a Covert Narcissist

Through relatable examples, we uncover the subtle but destructive tactics covert narcissists use to manipulate and control. You’ll hear how interactions that seem innocent at first—like dismissing your achievements or denying your reality—can leave you questioning yourself and spiraling into self-doubt.

But here’s the good news: it doesn’t have to stay this way. Healing transforms your responses, shifting the dynamic from reactive and self-doubting to calm, clear, and empowered.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How to deal with a covert narcissist spouse or partner when they dismiss your achievements, gaslight you, or criticize your efforts.
• How healing from covert narcissistic abuse empowers you to respond with confidence rather than defensiveness.
• The difference between pre-healing reactions—like over-apologizing or seeking their approval—and post-healing responses that prioritize your well-being.
• Real-life examples of navigating common scenarios, including criticism, gaslighting, silent treatment, and emotional outbursts.

Whether you’re just starting to understand covert narcissism or deep into your recovery, this episode offers valuable insights and actionable advice to help you thrive.

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

• Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?
• Are you searching for people who get it?
• Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?
• Are you running in circles in your mind?
• Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?
• Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?

Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

#Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

Have you ever felt like you missed out on your childhood because you were too busy parenting
your own parent? This episode of Covert Narcissism Podcast dives deep into the hidden trauma of parentification—a heartbreaking dynamic where children take on adult responsibilities to meet the emotional or physical needs of their caregivers, especially covert narcissistic parents.
Growing up as the emotional support system, household manager, or peacekeeper in a volatile
home leaves lasting scars. Many adult children of covert narcissists share similar experiences:
managing their parent’s emotions, walking on eggshells to avoid conflict, or being praised only
when their achievements made the parent look good. These children often internalize guilt, low
self-esteem, and the belief that they are responsible for fixing others’ problems—a mindset that can persist well into adulthood.
In this episode, we uncover:

What is parentification? The difference between instrumental parentification (cooking,
cleaning, managing tasks) and emotional parentification (being your parent’s therapist or
confidant).
Real-life examples of how covert narcissistic parents burden their children with adult
responsibilities, leaving them to miss out on the carefree joy of childhood.
The long-term effects of growing up with a covert narcissistic parent, from difficulty
trusting others to struggles with self-worth and parenting their own children.
Healing and reclaiming your life, including setting boundaries, processing trauma, and
embracing the childhood joy you never had.
If you grew up feeling like your worth was tied to your parent’s approval or you’re still carrying
the emotional weight of their needs, this episode will resonate deeply. You’ll gain insights into
why you feel this way and actionable steps to heal and break the cycle.
Tune in and learn how to turn your pain into wisdom, rebuild your confidence, and create a life
rooted in self-love and emotional freedom. Your story matters, and healing is possible. Listen
now!

Unmasking the Types of Narcissism: Traits, Motivations, and Hidden Patterns

Narcissism comes in many forms, each with distinct traits and motivations. Grandiose narcissists thrive on superiority and admiration, while vulnerable narcissists seek validation and sympathy to mask their fragile self-esteem. Malignant narcissists combine narcissistic traits with antisocial behavior and a drive for domination, whereas communal narcissists gain admiration by presenting as altruistic and caring. Somatic narcissists focus on physical attractiveness for affirmation, and cerebral narcissists pursue validation through intellectual superiority and disdain for others’ capabilities.

But where does covert narcissism fit in? It’s not its own category but rather a subtle way these narcissistic traits appear. Covert narcissists may quietly manipulate, playing the victim or expressing passive-aggressive entitlement, making them harder to identify. In this episode, we break down these narcissistic types and explain how covert narcissism weaves through them, helping you recognize and navigate these destructive patterns.

Since you are here listening to this, you have probably done some amount of research into narcissism. By now, you have probably run into the word projection as it relates to narcissism.
A relationship that is built on projections and expectations is a relationship that is doomed to struggle. I talk about this a lot in my group coaching program, but I have realized that I have never done a podcast episode on it. It is definitely time!
Let’s define what projection is. It is the process of misinterpreting what is on the inside of us as coming from the outside of us. Most people refer to projection as what the narcissistic person does, and they certainly do. However, projection is not limited to them. It affects all of us.
Good people project their goodness onto others and bad people project their badness. Good people expect good behavior from others and bad people expect bad behavior from others.

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

• Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?
• Are you searching for people who get it?
• Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?
• Are you running in circles in your mind?
• Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?
• Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?

Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

#Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

Narcissistic behavior can leave a trail of emotional devastation, much like a tornado tearing through lives and relationships. But what happens when these traits hide in plain sight? In this episode, we uncover the truth about covert narcissism, explaining how it’s not a standalone category but a subtle way narcissistic traits from any type—grandiose, vulnerable, malignant, and more—manifest. From passive-aggressive manipulation to the constant victim narrative, covert narcissists are often the hardest to recognize, leaving their victims confused and questioning their reality.

Dive deeper into the different types of narcissism, their traits, and motivations, and learn how to spot the covert tactics that wreak havoc in relationships. With actionable tips for recognizing, addressing, and healing from covert narcissistic abuse, this episode equips you with the knowledge to protect yourself and rebuild your confidence. Whether you’re living with a covert narcissist or recovering from emotional abuse, understanding these dynamics is your first step toward freedom and healing.

I was SO good at sweeping things under the rug! I could take any huge bad things that happened and just make it disappear. Do you know what I mean? Have you ever experienced this? Maybe you have heard this phrase before and don’t really know what it’s talking about. I am going to explain it right here and give you personal examples from my world.

I recently realized that the broom I used the most actually has a title. Here’s what I mean. Sweeping things under the rug refers to all the times that we make excuses for someone’s bad behavior. We don’t hold them accountable for what they have said or done. We push it aside and move on. Some refer to this as forgive and forget. We might try to pretend it never happened. We convince ourselves that this person didn’t mean it or was having a bad day or any other excuse we can come up with.
Well, my broom that I recently discovered was that All marriages have problems. I could erase any bad behavior with this broom, sweep it right away. Whoosh, under the rug it goes. What broom are you using?

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

• Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?
• Are you searching for people who get it?
• Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?
• Are you running in circles in your mind?
• Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?
• Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?

Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

#Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

Imagine finally opening up about the emotional abuse you’ve endured, only to be met with harsh judgments, dismissive comments, or cruel accusations that make you doubt yourself even more. Victim blaming doesn’t just hurt—it silences, isolates, and strengthens the grip of the abuser.

In this episode, I unpack the devastating impact of victim blaming on survivors of covert narcissistic abuse. From dismissive remarks like “Why didn’t you just leave?” to outright accusations that invalidate your experience, we explore how these responses deepen the wounds of those already suffering.

If you’ve ever felt unseen, unheard, or blamed for your own pain, this episode is for you. I address:
💔 Common victim-blaming statements and their harmful effects.
🤝 How to find safe spaces to share your story without judgment.
✨ Practical ways to reclaim your narrative and start healing.

To those who may not fully understand, this is your chance to learn how empathy and compassion can truly make a difference.

Your story matters. You deserve to be heard, not blamed. 💜

👉 Tune in now to break the silence and join the movement toward healing and understanding.

Ready to take the next step? Explore my coaching services at covertnarcissism.com
Subscribe for more empowering episodes to guide your journey to peace and freedom.

#Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

Michelle shares her story after decades with a covert narcissist. As a stay at home mom, she was not allowed to work outside the home. He maintained his control over her in this way. Step by step, she put a plan in place and worked towards her freedom, which is now becoming her reality.

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

• Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?
• Are you searching for people who get it?
• Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?
• Are you running in circles in your mind?
• Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?
• Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?

Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

#Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

I cringe every time I hear someone ask a victim of covert narcissism why they are still there or why they haven’t left. It’s an okay question in the right circumstances. But it is a crushing question in the wrong situation. 

In the wrong conversation, this becomes victim blaming.

You aren’t strong enough to stand up for yourself.

You don’t love yourself enough.

You chose this so that’s on you.

If you decide to stay, I can’t help you.

These statements and these attitudes are so painful to someone who is already living in an incredibly painful situation. Making them feel worse is not going to help. When I am in a coaching situation and someone tells me that they really want to stay. I understand this, because so did I. So let’s talk about it.

For those who have left, that was an incredibly tough decision to make. But I want you to understand that for those who stay, this is an equally tough decision to make. To everyone listening who has chosen to stay in their marriage with a covert narcissist, I want you to know this: you are not alone. Your choice to stay is not a measure of your strength or worth. It is simply the path you are on right now, and there is no shame in that.

Continue to take care of yourself. Protect your peace. And remember, you have the power to revisit this decision whenever you feel the need. Life is a journey, and you are walking it with courage every single day.

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

• Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?
• Are you searching for people who get it?
• Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?
• Are you running in circles in your mind?
• Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?
• Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?

Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

#Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

For survivors of covert narcissistic abuse, the New Year can feel overwhelming—another reminder of time lost and dreams unfulfilled. But this year can mark the start of something new: freedom, healing, and renewal.

In this heartfelt episode, I share how I transitioned from merely surviving to truly living—reclaiming peace in my home, my heart, and my mind. I’ll provide practical steps to help you let go of emotional burdens, set boundaries, and embrace small, meaningful joys.

The life you deserve—a life of peace, connection, and freedom—is possible. Let this be the year you step forward, one small moment at a time.

"You are stronger than you know, and this is your year to let go, to heal, and to rise."

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

• Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?
• Are you searching for people who get it?
• Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?
• Are you running in circles in your mind?
• Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?
• Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?

Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

#Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast