In this special episode, Sasha and Stella pass the mic to honorary guest host, journalist, author, and feminist campaigner, Helen Joyce, who interviews Marian Tompson, in connection with Joyce’s recent article about Marian in The Times, "Why I Quit the Breastfeeding Charity I Founded Over Trans Ideology".

Marian Tompson, along with six other mothers, founded the global breastfeeding support network, La Leche League, in 1956. In November 2024, Tompson resigned from both the organization and its Board of Directors, believing it had strayed from its original mission to support biological mothers in breastfeeding.

Helen’s conversation with Marian touches on the physiological intricacies of breastfeeding, the historical challenges women faced to maintain breastfeeding practices, and the broader implications of integrating transgender individuals into traditionally female-centered spaces like La Leche League. Together, they share a candid discussion exploring how biological realities, societal shifts, and ideological debates converge in today’s discourse on gender, motherhood, and breastfeeding.

For links and resources relevant to this episode, access the full show notes at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-198 

Buy Our Book – When Kids Say They’re Trans: A Guide for Thoughtful Parents at https://whenkidssaytheyretrans.com/   

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For more information about Sasha’s & Stella’s parent coaching membership groups, visit:

Sasha Ayad: https://sashaayad.com/parenting-coaching   

Stella O’Malley: http://www.stellaomalley.com/parent-coaching  

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This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe  

Nearing the podcast’s 200th episode just around the corner, Stella and Sasha mark the 4-year milestone of Gender: A Wider Lens! Together, they reflect on the show’s remarkable evolution and its impact on their respective journeys. With a vast catalog of episodes filled with profound insights, transformative stories, intriguing interviews, and relentless curiosity, the show has progressed alongside the ever-shifting landscape of gender and the ripple effects of the medicalization of youth.

In this episode, they share insights into both the psychological and societal shifts surrounding gender identity and reveal a BIG announcement for what listeners can expect in 2025. Looking back on the development of the podcast, they express gratitude for their listeners and the incredible community that has grown around them.

Don’t miss this exclusive preview of what’s to come from Sasha & Stella in 2025! We’d love to hear your thoughts, ideas, and feedback — your input is invaluable as we shape all that’s ahead. Share your insights by leaving a comment on Substack, YouTube, or Spotify, reach out directly via X @widerlenspod, or email [email protected].

For links and resources relevant to this episode, access the full show notes at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-197 

Buy Our Book – When Kids Say They’re Trans: A Guide for Thoughtful Parents at https://whenkidssaytheyretrans.com/   

Join Our Listener Community to Access Exclusive Content at https://www.widerlenspod.com/   

Support the Show at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/support-the-show   

Join the conversation on YouTube at www.youtube.com/@widerlenspod  

For more information about Sasha’s & Stella’s parent coaching membership groups, visit:

Sasha Ayad: https://sashaayad.com/parenting-coaching   

Stella O’Malley: http://www.stellaomalley.com/parent-coaching  

To learn more about our sponsors, visit:

Therapy First at https://www.therapyfirst.org/  

Genspect at https://genspect.org/  

This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe 

The relationship between homophobia and gender medicine is deeply intertwined, with historical and contemporary practices shedding light on troubling patterns. Historically, gender-nonconforming individuals were often pathologized and subjected to medical interventions under the guise of correcting deviance. Today, these practices persist, albeit under new narratives that often frame gender nonconformity as a medical issue requiring intervention, such as transitioning.

Emerging trends reveal the influence of social contagion, with cultural narratives and social media amplifying gender identity struggles among vulnerable populations, particularly youth. This surge raises critical questions about the lack of scientific rigor in therapeutic practices, the ethics of irreversible medical procedures, and the neglect of alternative psychological or social supports. These patterns reflect a broader societal discomfort with nonconformity and a tendency to medicalize identities rather than embrace diversity.

In this bonus episode for premium subscribers, Glenna Goldis argues that modern gender medicine perpetuates homophobia by medicalizing gender nonconformity, effectively pathologizing same-sex attraction in a way that parallels past efforts to suppress homosexuality. She references the 2015 APA guidelines, which shifted the framework for addressing gender dysphoria, emphasizing affirmation and, often, medical intervention, suggesting that these guidelines reframe homosexuality as something to be corrected if it appears intertwined with gender nonconformity. She advocates for a more critical examination of these practices, urging evidence-based approaches that prioritize genuine understanding and acceptance over medicalization.

To deepen your understanding of Glenna's perspective, we encourage you to explore her Substack, particularly the two pieces linked below (referenced during the conversation). Both provide valuable insight into her critique of current gender medicine practices and their broader social implications.

Why Therapists Trans Away the Gay

The Assessment Sham

Watch our full length episode with Glenna Goldis: https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-196

For instructions on setting up a private feed to listen to our premium content in your favorite podcast app, visit https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/how-to-listen-to-our-full-premium.

Sasha & Stella welcome seasoned attorney Glenna Goldis to the show, offering invaluable perspectives into the legal developments in gender medicine.

With extensive knowledge of gender medicine and consumer fraud, Glenna provides a comprehensive analysis of pivotal legal cases and controversies in the U.S., breaking down complex legal language into accessible insights. She brings her expertise and unique perspective on the evolution of gender medicine. She also examines consumer fraud allegations against the American Academy of Pediatrics, using her legal expertise to shed light on the broader societal and legal implications of these claims. Glenna further explores the policy proposals and political impact surrounding pediatric gender medicine, particularly focusing on statements from political leaders, including president-elect Donald Trump, and the potential effects of such policies on real-world practices and legislation.

This is a fascinating conversation, outfitting listeners with essential clarity on the legal and societal dimensions of gender-affirming care, offering both a historical overview and practical takeaways for understanding this evolving landscape.

For links and resources relevant to this episode, access the full show notes at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-196 

Buy Our Book – When Kids Say They’re Trans: A Guide for Thoughtful Parents at https://whenkidssaytheyretrans.com/   

Join Our Listener Community to Access Exclusive Content at https://www.widerlenspod.com/   

Support the Show at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/support-the-show   

Join the conversation on YouTube at www.youtube.com/@widerlenspod  

For more information about Sasha’s & Stella’s parent coaching membership groups, visit:

Sasha Ayad: https://sashaayad.com/parenting-coaching   

Stella O’Malley: http://www.stellaomalley.com/parent-coaching  

To learn more about our sponsors, visit:

Therapy First at https://www.therapyfirst.org/  

Genspect at https://genspect.org/  

This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe  

Stella and Sasha welcome author and podcaster, Phil Illy, to the show for a thought-provoking conversation on sexuality, identity, and self-understanding. They engage with Phil’s concept of auto-heterosexuality, explore his interpretation of "erotic target identity inversion," and examine how these theories relate to broader discussions around sexuality and identity. As the discussion evolves, Stella and Sasha offer their critiques and challenge Phil's framework, pushing for a deeper understanding of these complex concepts.

Phil Illy is the author of Autoheterosexual: Attracted to Being the Other Sex, a provocative exploration of sexuality, identity, and gender. In his book, Phil introduces the concept of auto-heterosexuality, describing an attraction to oneself as the opposite sex, and expands upon theories such as "erotic target identity inversion," originally coined by Dr. Ray Blanchard. With a focus on unconventional sexual interests and their psychological underpinnings, Phil's work challenges conventional frameworks and evokes critical examination into the complexities of desire, identity, and human behavior. In addition to his book, Phil is also the host of the Autohetero Files podcast, where he platforms personal stories and discussions that resonate with the ideas and concepts explored in his work.

In this episode, listeners can expect to hear a dynamic and often intense conversation, with Stella and Sasha asking difficult questions and exploring the psychological and relational implications of the ideas Phil presents. They dig into both the intellectual and emotional dimensions of the topics at hand. Whether you agree or disagree with the perspectives shared, this episode will leave you with plenty to consider, exploring the deeper questions surrounding identity, desire, and the psychological aspects of sexual behavior.

For links and resources relevant to this episode, access the full show notes at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-195 

Buy Our Book – When Kids Say They’re Trans: A Guide for Thoughtful Parents at https://whenkidssaytheyretrans.com/ 

Join Our Listener Community to Access Exclusive Content at https://www.widerlenspod.com/   

Support the Show at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/support-the-show   

Join the conversation on YouTube at www.youtube.com/@widerlenspod  

For more information about Sasha’s & Stella’s parent coaching membership groups, visit:

Sasha Ayad: https://sashaayad.com/parenting-coaching   

Stella O’Malley: http://www.stellaomalley.com/parent-coaching  

To learn more about our sponsors, visit:

Therapy First at https://www.therapyfirst.org/  

Genspect at https://genspect.org/  

This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe  

The relationship between education systems, families, and communities must be one of cooperation and respect, resisting ideological control and ensuring that diverse perspectives are welcomed. In this framework, the role of government is to support, protect, and enable individuals to pursue their own paths, while maintaining the necessary checks and balances to safeguard the rights of all citizens. This ideal society fosters transparency in governance, allowing citizens to understand and influence the decisions that affect their lives. A well-balanced society encourages intergenerational dialogue, where the wisdom of previous generations informs the decisions of the present and future, and where collective well-being is nurtured through collaboration, not coercion. It is built on the foundation of individual freedom, strong family structures, and a government that serves, not controls, its people—ensuring that authority is decentralized.

In this bonus episode for premium subscribers, Eldur Smári Kristinsson emphasizes the growing urgency for individuals with differing perspectives to engage in political discourse, drawing attention to international trends in the U.K. and the U.S. He believes that timely political engagement can catalyze a societal shift, empowering citizens to challenge prevailing ideologies and reclaim their freedoms. Eldur warns, “We are being institutionalized from the day we’re born till the day we die,” stressing the importance of cross-generational relationships and highlighting how state-controlled education has led to a disconnect between parents and children. He critiques Iceland’s compulsory schooling system, advocating for the legalization of homeschooling, greater parental transparency, and a balanced mix of public and private education options to foster healthy competition. Eldur also calls for reforms that ensure parents retain the primary role in their children’s education, criticizing the lack of transparency in school curricula—particularly regarding contested sociological theories—and emphasizing the risks of indoctrination when state oversight replaces parental involvement.

Watch our full length episode with Eldur Smári Kristinsson: https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-194

For instructions on setting up a private feed to listen to our premium content in your favorite podcast app, visit https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/how-to-listen-to-our-full-premium.

Stella and Sasha welcome freelance writer, free-thinker, and current chairman of the Lesbian and Gay Alliance in Iceland, Eldur Smári Kristinsson, offering a revealing overview of Iceland’s rapid societal transformation into what he describes as a "gender-crazed dystopia”. 

In this episode, Eldur describes how over the last 25 years, Iceland has transitioned from a nation advancing progressive gay rights to one where gender ideology has infiltrated institutions, including government, education, and even the Church of Iceland. This change, Eldur argues, has been driven by ideological activists and well-funded interest groups seeking to perpetuate their influence.

His testimony underscores the deep societal shifts underway in Iceland and the challenges of addressing contentious gender issues amid institutional complicity and media narratives.

For links and resources relevant to this episode, access the full show notes at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-194 

Buy Our Book – When Kids Say They’re Trans: A Guide for Thoughtful Parents at https://whenkidssaytheyretrans.com/   

Join Our Listener Community to Access Exclusive Content at https://www.widerlenspod.com/   

Support the Show at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/support-the-show   

Join the conversation on YouTube at www.youtube.com/@widerlenspod  

For more information about Sasha’s & Stella’s parent coaching membership groups, visit:

Sasha Ayad: https://sashaayad.com/parenting-coaching   

Stella O’Malley: http://www.stellaomalley.com/parent-coaching  

To learn more about our sponsors, visit:

Therapy First at https://www.therapyfirst.org/  

Genspect at https://genspect.org/  

This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe  

Honesty and authenticity are critical when discussing identity issues. Rather than avoiding uncomfortable truths or pandering to claims that may oversimplify complex realities, fostering honest discussions can help adolescents build resilience and navigate complexities with greater confidence. Parents, educators, and professionals must strike a balance between compassion and clarity, empowering young people to understand and embrace the nuanced realities of identity.

Through informed, empathetic engagement, society can better support adolescents in exploring their identities while safeguarding their well-being and long-term health.

In this bonus episode for premium subscribers, Dr. Hakeem strongly advocates for transparency, critical thinking, and a commitment to ethical care in addressing gender dysphoria. His approach focuses on safeguarding the psychological and physical health of young people while fostering an environment where they can thoughtfully explore their identities without undue pressure.

Watch our full length episode with Dr. Az Hakeem: https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-193

For instructions on setting up a private feed to listen to our premium content in your favorite podcast app, visit https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/how-to-listen-to-our-full-premium.

Stella & Sasha welcome author, psychiatrist, and psychotherapist Dr. Az Hakeem to the show, sharing his experience and insights from his extensive career spanning over two decades in the field of gender dysphoria. He reflects how he initially recognized the growing confusion around the issue and noted that the real "madness" was not in the individuals struggling with gender identity, but in society's response to them.

In this episode, not only does he revisit his poignant and popular “goth mock-5” analysis as referenced in his previous appearance on Gender: A Wider Lens, but Dr. Hakeem also outlines his four distinct categories of individuals within the broad trans identity label, offering insights into their psychological and sociological distinctions based on his extensive clinical experience with gender dysphoric individuals. He emphasizes that understanding these distinctions is crucial for addressing the needs and motivations of each group more accurately.

Other key ideas explored in this conversation include the intriguing intersection of autistic thinking and queer theory; Dr. Hakeem’s perspective as a UK clinician on the future of GIDS (the Gender Identity Development Service at the NHS Tavistock Clinic); as well as the concept of the “overvalued idea” and how understanding it can provide greater insight into gender dysphoria and trans ideation.

Additionally, Dr. Hakeem shares valuable advice for parents navigating conversations with their trans-identified children, emphasizing a curious, non-confrontational approach that encourages young people to reflect on how they arrived at their conclusions, rather than simply focusing on the conclusions themselves.

For links and resources relevant to this episode, access the full show notes at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-193 

Buy Our Book – When Kids Say They’re Trans: A Guide for Thoughtful Parents at https://whenkidssaytheyretrans.com/   

Join Our Listener Community to Access Exclusive Content at https://www.widerlenspod.com/   

Support the Show at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/support-the-show   

Join the conversation on YouTube at www.youtube.com/@widerlenspod  

For more information about Sasha’s & Stella’s parent coaching membership groups, visit:

Sasha Ayad: https://sashaayad.com/parenting-coaching   

Stella O’Malley: http://www.stellaomalley.com/parent-coaching  

To learn more about our sponsors, visit:

Therapy First at https://www.therapyfirst.org/  

Genspect at https://genspect.org/  

This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe  

Dysphoria is not a one-size-fits-all experience but rather a complex phenomenon that varies significantly from person to person. Factors like personal history, family dynamics, societal expectations, and even localized community attitudes all influence how dysphoria is felt and interpreted. While some people may experience dysphoria as an intense discomfort with their physical body, others may feel it more as a social dissonance or a sense of incongruence with traditional gender roles. This variability suggests the need for a patient, individualized approach, allowing each person the space to explore their identity in context rather than rushing into interventions that might overlook these diverse influences. By approaching gender questions with an individualized, patient-centered perspective, this approach supports genuine self-alignment and nurtures well-rounded personal growth.

In this bonus episode for premium subscribers, Aaron Kimberly advocates for both individual autonomy in gender expression and the importance of responsible, informed guidance that encourages authenticity without immediate recourse to medicalization. By focusing on informed choices and gradual exploration, Aaron argues, individuals can find alignment within themselves, rooted in authenticity and supported by thoughtful, attentive care; seek to understand the underlying factors of gender identity and dysphoria; and ultimately foster a process that encourages self-discovery, resilience, and growth.

Watch our full length episode with Aaron Kimberly: https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-192

For instructions on setting up a private feed to listen to our premium content in your favorite podcast app, visit https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/how-to-listen-to-our-full-premium.

Sasha and Stella welcome Aaron Kimberly back to the show, nearly a year after her first appearance on the podcast. Aaron has undergone a remarkable transformation, returning to her female identity and embracing a new understanding and acceptance of herself. This episode delves into Aaron’s complex journey of self-discovery, shaped by her unique experiences with a rare ovotesticular disorder of sex development (DSD), her longstanding identity as a butch lesbian, and the medical, professional, and social experiences that have shaped her path.

In this episode, Aaron examines the role of the butch lesbian community that once fostered a vital sense of belonging—a community that, as she remarks, has largely faded, leaving young butch lesbians with limited support. She suggests that this shift might be contributing to the increased rates of medical transition among younger lesbians today. Her deep commitment to understanding the diverse reasons for sex non-conformity, coupled with her involvement in lesbian communities, has cultivated her interest in the cultural contexts of gender and atypical bodies, often pathologized or medicalized in society.

This is an incredibly compelling conversation reflecting on the evolving relationship between lesbian identity, butch identity, and the implications of a medicalized appearance.

For links and resources relevant to this episode, access the full show notes at  https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-192 

Buy Our Book – When Kids Say They’re Trans: A Guide for Thoughtful Parents at https://whenkidssaytheyretrans.com/   

Join Our Listener Community to Access Exclusive Content at https://www.widerlenspod.com/   

Support the Show at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/support-the-show   

Join the conversation on YouTube at www.youtube.com/@widerlenspod  

For more information about Sasha’s & Stella’s parent coaching membership groups, visit:

Sasha Ayad: https://sashaayad.com/parenting-coaching   

Stella O’Malley: http://www.stellaomalley.com/parent-coaching  

To learn more about our sponsors, visit:

Therapy First at https://www.therapyfirst.org/  

Genspect at https://genspect.org/  

This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe