Behind the closed doors of government offices and military compounds, are hidden stories and buried secrets from the darkest corners of history. Each week, Luke Lamana, a Marine Corp Reconnaissance Veteran, pulls back the curtain on what once was classified information exposing the secrets and lies behind the world’s most powerful institutions. From the hitmakers at Wondery and Ballen Studios, we bring you REDACTED: Declassified Mysteries with Luke Lamana. The stories are real, and the secrets are shocking.

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Don’t Panic but... it’s our final episode! We dusted off an old recording of Tony and the very funny, very talented Chris Gethard. In this finale, Chris and Tony try not to panic about… SURVIVING PRISON. What would you do? Keep to yourself? Link up with a prison gang? Try to write your manifesto in solitary confinement? We’ll hear what Chris thinks he’d do if he was spending the next 10 years in a supermax, hear what “experts” say to do, and discover Chris actually has a personal connection to this scenario due to participating in “Scared Straight” as a teenager in New Jersey!

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BLECH! This week, the very funny Christine Nangle joins Tony as they try not to PANIC about… BEING POISONED! Tony is crafting Christine mocktails in her new kitchen when he accidentally adds the wrong ingredient: poison! What would you do? Call Poison Control? Vomit? Give a ghost a blowjob? We’ll find out what Christine thinks she’d do, hear what experts say to do, and discover that even if someone is choking on poison it’s still a good time to bring up if they are good or bad at oral sex.

Listen to Don't Panic on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen early and ad-free on Wondery+. Join Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Start your free trial by visiting wondery.com/links/dont-panic/ now.

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HELP! This week, the very funny Julie Klausner joins Tony as they try not to PANIC about… SKYDIVING WITH A FAULTY PARACHUTE! Julie and Tony jump off a plane to “keep things interesting” when Julie’s parachute fails to open! What would you do? Pull the emergency chute? Try to find a soft place to land? Come to terms that you’ll be a human pancake soon? We’ll hear how Julie thinks she’d survive this panic inducing scenario, hear what experts say to do, and who knows, maybe Alec Baldwin will visit the podcast! 

Listen to Don't Panic on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen early and ad-free on Wondery+. Join Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Start your free trial by visiting wondery.com/links/dont-panic/ now.

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The walls are caving in! This week, Carl Tart joins Tony as they try not to PANIC about… BEING STUCK IN A CAVE. Carl and Tony are repelling down a giant sinkhole when they fall in with no way out. What would you do? Try to climb the wall? Look for food? Immediately have a heart attack and give up? We’ll hear what Carl thinks he’d do in this cavernous scenario, hear what the experts say to do, and discover there’s nothing better to take the edge off at the end of a hard day than baking – and eating – a homemade key lime pie. Yum!

Listen to Don't Panic on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen early and ad-free on Wondery+. Join Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Start your free trial by visiting wondery.com/links/dont-panic/ now.

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The ground is shaking! This week, Emmy Blotnick joins Tony as they try not to PANIC about… SURVIVING AN EARTHQUAKE. Emmy and Tony are enjoying a day at the mall when suddenly – the Earth starts quaking! What would you do? Run? Hide in a doorway? Worry about the inevitable societal collapse that is to come? We’ll hear what Emmy thinks she’d do in this seismic scenario, hear what experts say to do, and discover the most important person to keep alive if you’re at the mall when an earthquake happens is the dude serving drinks at Orange Julius.

Listen to Don't Panic on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen early and ad-free on Wondery+. Join Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Start your free trial by visiting wondery.com/links/dont-panic/ now.

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HELP! This week, the very funny Neil Casey joins Tony as they try not to PANIC about… A COMPLETE SOCIETAL COLLAPSE. This one’s a doozy! Neil and Tony take a stroll around their neighborhood when the city’s power generators malfunction, F-16 fighter planes fly overhead, and every news station claims ‘America has fallen’. What would you do? Hole up at home? Buy survival gear? Start a militia? We’ll hear what Neil thinks he’d do if confronted with this dystopian reality, hear what experts say to do, and discover that Tony is actually pretty happy about all this ‘society collapsing business’ because at least he can smoke cigarettes again. 

Listen to Don't Panic on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen early and ad-free on Wondery+. Join Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Start your free trial by visiting wondery.com/links/dont-panic/ now.

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HELP! This week, the very funny Jessica McKenna joins Tony as they try not to PANIC about… GETTING ABDUCTED BY ALIENS. Jessica and Tony are a couple out on a nature walk when a UFO appears and beams them up to the ship! What would you do? Whatever the aliens told you? Would you fight them? Maybe listen to their shitty alien music and tell them it’s good just so they leave you alone? We’ll find out what Jessica would do if she was abducted, hear what “experts” say to do, and discover that aliens love corny American game shows. 

Listen to Don't Panic on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen early and ad-free on Wondery+. Join Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Start your free trial by visiting wondery.com/links/dont-panic/ now.

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Oh no! This week, SNL icon Rachel Dratch joins Tony as they try not to PANIC about… BEING STUCK ON A RUNAWAY TRAIN! Rachel and Tony are a couple of Bostonians on the AmTrack when the train speeds up and doesn’t stop! What would you do? Pull the emergency brake? Jump out? Make the train go faster in hopes of creating a wormhole to go back in time? We’ll hear what Rachel thinks she’d do if she was a passenger on a runaway rocket train, hear what experts say to do, and discover that placing a wild wolf on the train during the improv scene is probably NOT the best way to ensure survival of this scenario.

Listen to Don't Panic on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen early and ad-free on Wondery+. Join Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Start your free trial by visiting wondery.com/links/dont-panic/ now.

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BRRR! This week, the hilarious Ashley Ray joins Tony as they try not to PANIC about… BEING LOCKED IN A WALK-IN FREEZER. Ashley and Tony are two restaurant waiters looking to find a spot to smoke a joint when they accidentally lock themselves in a walk-in freezer! What would you do? Scream for help? Try to break the lock? Do non-stop jumping-jacks to keep your heart rate up? We’ll hear what Ashley thinks she’d do in this frigid scenario, hear what “experts” say to do, and learn that, spoiler alert, “Build An Igloo” is an actual recommendation for this panic-inducing scenario. 

Listen to Don't Panic on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen early and ad-free on Wondery+. Join Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Start your free trial by visiting wondery.com/links/dont-panic/ now.

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STOP, DROP, AND ROLL! This week, the sweet and funny D’Arcy Carden joins Tony as they try not to PANIC about… BEING SET ON FIRE! D’Arcy and Tony dine at a fancy restaurant when it gets a little chilly. D’Arcy goes to turn the janky patio heaters on when, you guessed it, she catches on fire! What would you do? Stop, drop, and roll? Grab a fire extinguisher? Resign yourself to the flames and just die? We’ll hear what D’Arcy thinks she’d do if we were set ablaze, hear what experts say to do, and discover there is nothing better than the secret menu at Jamba Juice to get you out of a jam when your best friend is on fire.

Listen to Don't Panic on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen early and ad-free on Wondery+. Join Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Start your free trial by visiting wondery.com/links/dont-panic/ now.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.