"I dislike Abby but that is no news for anyone who is watching," remarks Christi as Abby continues to prod in the hopes she will be the next to leave on "Nothing's Fair in Abbyville". But unfortunately for both of them Christi still has a season left in her, so Abby settles on belittling Kendall this week.

Mackenzie and the Zieglers are in Los Angeles recording Mackenzie's first single. To fill the Maddie shaped hole int he group dance Abby holds a dance off between the girls that Kendall wins. And despite commenting what a great opportunity this position is for Kendall to prove her worth, Abby has no intention of letting Kendall actually take Maddie's place. In fact she desperately works to get Maddie back in time for competition, claiming she never actually promised Kendall the part... so what was the dance off for?

Meanwhile Kira and Kalani continue to settle into the team dynamic. Kira worries that Abby is going to set her daughter up to compete with Maddie, but the moms point out that Kalani is so good that Abby would never dare pit her against Maddie. Any situation where Maddie might lose is strictly off limits. Kalani might be the ALDC's best dancer, but Abby didn't train her so she can't flex her too much.

Kelly calls in to organize a lunch with Christi, whom production forces to invite the rest of the moms including Kalani. What will prove to be Kelly's final appearance on-screen is rather quaint as she's still happy to be off the team, despite how much the production wanted the situation to start drama (why else would you invite Kalani). Melissa is visibly uneasy though, wonder why!

Quotes

• “I was gonna say what are you drinking? I'm not drinking anything except for like NyQuil." (09:11-09:15 | Christi)
• "There's nothing that brings energy and fun to the room quite like Abby Lee Miller, so have at ti." (14:50-14:56 | Christi)
• “Jill is not only wearing fur, she might be wearing what, in my mind, could be the most iconic piece of fur on Dance Moms. " (17:57-18:06 | Christi)
• “Mole again, mole gone. Mole here, mole there, mole everywhere. Mole gone" (29:45-29:51 | Christi)

Links

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Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre

Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510

Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak

Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"It felt like the show as we knew it was over, and it was!" Christi's prognosis certainly proved to be right, but on "Wingman Down" the rest of the ALDC acts like it's business as usual. Though there is a Kelly, Paige and Brooke shaped hole in the team you'd be hard pressed to tell anyone was upset over the matter. Kelly points out again that Melissa had some blame to take but Jill and Holly insist on trying to keep the peace.

Abby welcomes Kira and Kalani onto the team as Kelly's replacement, stating that Kelly has been arrested (she wasn't) and is no longer welcome. Melissa tries to get the group started on the right foot and invites everyone over to he house for cheese and wine. The only absentee? Christi obviously! The show begins to present Christi as distant from the team, which is both partially true because she didn't want to pretend nothing had happened, and also heightened by the show's editing to imply it was worse than it really was.

Meanwhile Holly is dedicated to making Nia's rare instance of having solo count, but Abby still won't give Nia the time of day. Instead Abby is out helping Mackenzie get set up to be Mac Z, singer and performer extraordinaire! When she does make time for Nia it's to tell her she's not being enough like Maddie. The problem boils over when Nia suffers a costuming mishap with her hat on stage, which not only bodes unwell for Nia but somehow Christi gets in trouble? It really is over!

Quotes

• “I reached up to ger a cookie and all of a sudden I saw all this smoke. And I'm like what the fuck is on fire? It was you! It was me!" (09:32-09:39 | Christi & Kelly)
• "If Melissa had do it to Jill or Holly they wouldn't be feeling this way. They would be feeling exactly the way that we do." (28:38-28:46 | Christi)
• “This costume is beautiful. It's gorgeous... it's from a catalogue! Holly stop trying to be so nice!" (43:44-43:50 | Christi)
• “I met this sports psychologist this week. She's really sweet. She's a dance mom but also a sports psychologist and she told me that she literally uses Dance Moms clips as teaching tools of how to not to coach children." (53:55-54:11 | Christi)

Links

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Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre

Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510

Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak

Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland

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"You're doing your job. Your job is literally to fight!"

The Slap Heard Around the World was so loud you can still hear it echo to this very day. So naturally Christi and Kelly have a lot more to discuss about the subject! This week our Bitches are digging deeper into "Big Trouble in the Big Apple", pulling back the curtain on the behind the scenes aftermath and answering some bitchette submitted questions.

Topics include: What really went down with Kelly's arrest? Was that really her mug shot featured on the show? What was everyone's immediate reaction to the slap, how did the kids react? What went down at the trial and much, much more!

Quotes

• “Somebody said what's your word? Like what's your inspiration word? I was gonna say asshole." (07:26-07:31 | Christi & Kelly)
• “I went to Macy's in New York and was shopping for outfits for those kids to meet Lucy Hale while you were in jail. Well thanks!" (28:39-28:47 | Christi & Kelly)
• “[Abby] had a cop walk her to the bathroom, cause she knew we were in the building, stand guard so we couldn't pee when she was in the bathroom. Maybe she was afraid we were going to gang up and kick her?" (40:16-40:31 | Christi & Kelly)
• “...and now the episodes get really dark. Fun fun!" (1:00:08-1:00:10 | Christi)

Links

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Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre

Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510

Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak

Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Subscribe to Pillow Talk and join Christi, Kelly, Mellissa and Jill as they watch the new Dance Moms together! This exclusive package gives you access to all 10 episodes in both audio and video format, plus bonus content you won’t want to miss. Join us for the full experience—click here to unlock it all!

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"I bought them all gifts this Christmas, I was thoughtful, I was courteous, I was giving and kind! Hey! Psst... you're supposed to let other people give you compliments. Yeah and psst, she didn't pay for any of that shit!" It wouldn't be Christmas with the ALDC without a little coal in your stocking from good ol' Abby! this week to celebrate Christmas our Holly Jolly Btiches are stepping back a week from the slap heard around the world to cover Season 4's Christmas Special "Twas the Fight Before Christmas".

Abby is prepared to give gifts to all the moms and girls, but wouldn't you know it, just like in any normal week of the show Abby has a funny way of showcasing that some people are her favorites. Is it really fair if one kid gets a vanity box, one kid gets a puppy, and one somehow gets $5,000? Make it make sense! Though to add insult to injury almost no one seemed to receive their gifts in the long run, but even worse was the blatant misrepresentation about what some of the gifts actually were. Abby might eb in the giving mood, but there's only so much to give when you have a negative desire to offer anything!

Quotes

• “It was a vanity. It was probably $100 and Maddie has a $5000 gift certificate! She didn't even have make-up in her vanity!" (20:42-20:50 | Christi)
• “All I can say is Holly is married with those feet and you are not." (37:29-37:34 | Kelly)
• “Oh god don't sing." (42:04-42:06 | Kelly)
• “Ok everyone needs to realize that she said she got a lifetime of books. You guys we were on Lifetime, it was a Lifetime gift certificate for $50 dollars." (1:12:10-1:12:20 | Christi)

Links

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Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre

Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510

Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak

Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Subscribe to Pillow Talk and join Christi, Kelly, Mellissa and Jill as they watch the new Dance Moms together! This exclusive package gives you access to all 10 episodes in both audio and video format, plus bonus content you won’t want to miss. Join us for the full experience—click here to unlock it all!

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"This is the duet that broke Dance Moms," and Christi is not being hyperbolic. For all intense and purposes Dance Moms changed with this episode for the worse. The ratings were never as high and the episodes weren't nearly as funny, because this is Kelly's last episodes as part of the ALDC. It's the episode you've all been waiting for and it's one of our longest recaps yet for a reason because there is A LOT to unpack and plenty of tea to be spilt about what really went down in that room.

Abby is unhappy how the team performed in the previous competition even though they came in 1st in the group competition, and states she will form a new team, keeping only Maddie, to compete against her own team. The ALDC is heading to New York for Sheer Talent and Abby will host the final round of ALDC auditions with the intent of coming back with both a win and a new team. Unbeknownst to everyone, except for Melissa and Maddie, Abby also intends to undermine Chloe and Paige's performance with a surprise guest.

Quotes

• “I've never seen this episode. I never did either. I don't think I watched it when it came out, I really don't. Cause I have real f***ing trauma from this day." (00:57-01:06 | Christi & Kelly)
• “It's sad that she wants the girls that she taught to lose and the girls she didn't teach to win. Yeah it's so dumb cause she doesn't get that that makes her look stupid." (14:21-14:30 | Christi & Kelly)
• “Paige and Maddie were very close. And the fact that she could look at her and lie? I just don't know how you can allow your kid to do that? To raise them to think that that is ok." (1:07:49-1:08:06 | Kelly)
• “She has a bracelet on that says 'tough' and she's crying because somebody pulled her hair. Meanwhile it wasn't even her hair it was freaking extensions." (1:44:26-1:44:36 | Christi & Kelly)

Links

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Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre

Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510

Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak

Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Subscribe to Pillow Talk and join Christi, Kelly, Mellissa and Jill as they watch the new Dance Moms together! This exclusive package gives you access to all 10 episodes in both audio and video format, plus bonus content you won’t want to miss. Join us for the full experience—click here to unlock it all!

https://www.patreon.com/DanceMomsPillowTalk

"Pray for me for next week," begs Kelly as we've hit her penultimate episode of Dance Moms. However, this week she's awfully comfortable as Abby instead is seemignly hell bent on replacing Christi and Chloe. Abby welcomes Chloe Nguyen and her mom Kim who have come from Nevada for a trial run with the ALDC. But this team isn't big enough for two Chloes' and Abby assigns each of them a solo to compete with one another.

On the short end of that stick is Nia who despite claiming Top of the Pyramid is only given a duo with Kendall. Holly and Jill enjoy their daughter's work, but are annoyed that Abby dedicates a mere 17 minutes to their rehearsal and spends most of it on her phone. But all the moms are equally annoyed by Kim who like many a guest mom acts like she knows better how to approach Abby than they do.

Quotes

• “Holly is wearing fur. There's a lot of fur happening in this episode. Jill shows up to play." (26:45-26:52 | Christi)
• “We did get dirty [on Pillow Talk] some times. Uh, a lot! I'm shocked at some of the things we say. I told you intern Matt had to walk away because he's embarrassed!" (31:54-32:09 | Christi & Kelly)
• “Who leaves Vegas to come to Pittsburgh? The same people who leave LA and New York to come to Pittsburgh." (36:13-36:21 | Christi & Kelly)
• “Abby says it's going to be Awards. Put a smile on that face and nobody better sit on that stage and slouch. The next shot of our kids is them slouching on the stage." (1:09:42-1:09:51 | Christi)

Links

Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w 

Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre

Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510

Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak

Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Subscribe to Pillow Talk and join Christi, Kelly, Mellissa and Jill as they watch the new Dance Moms together! This exclusive package gives you access to all 10 episodes in both audio and video format, plus bonus content you won’t want to miss. The first six episodes are ready to binge now, with the final four dropping on December 5. Join us for the full experience—click here to unlock it all!

https://www.patreon.com/DanceMomsPillowTalk

"And we have Bitch #3 and #4, Jill and Melissa! Who is 3? Can I be 3, cause I'm on top? She always has to win you know." Yes in honor of Pillow Talk we are joined this week by Jill and Melissa to discuss the controversial Season 4 episode "No One is Safe". Controversial because Abby decides to give Nia the lead in a group solo about slavery called Free At Last, which was changed to be about the Civil Rights Movement and retitled At Last for broadcast. Holly isn't crazy about the subject matter, but is determined to let Nia make the most out of her rare moment in the spotlight.

Meanwhile Abby continues to audition girls to replace members of the ALDC, and a couple of auditioners don't take too well to Abby's rejections. Melissa also finds herself defending her choice to home school her kids from the other moms as Abby starts lambasting everyone else for not following in her footsteps.

Quotes

• “[Abby] ordered, I think it was beef and broccoli, and she pulled a can of Campbell's tomato soup out of her purse. It was cold! Opened it up and dumped it over the beef and broccoli. " (46:31-46:46 | Kelly)
• “Melissa is contradicting herself. Welp I better drink!" (55:48-55:51 | Kelly & Melissa)
• “Melissa is doing the lords work. She's sabotaging everyone to keep her job and ours." (1:08:15-1:08:20 | Christi)
• “Jill wants you to know there's nothing inside [of her poof] except secrets." (1:09:56-1:09:59 | Christi)

Links

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Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre

Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510

Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak

Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland

Follow Melissa on IG: https://www.instagram.com/melissagisoni

Follow Jill on IG: https://www.instagram.com/jillvertes

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Loving this episode and want more? This exclusive package gives you access to all 10 episodes in both audio and video format, plus bonus content you won’t want to miss. The first six episodes are ready to binge now, with the final four dropping on December 5. Join us for the full experience—click here to unlock it all!

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Subscribe to Pillow Talk and join Christi, Kelly, Mellissa and Jill as they watch the new Dance Moms together:

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"They're shaking in their boots... she always wants us to shake in our boots." While Cathy certainly gets the short end of the stick on Dance Moms, on the second half of "Chloe vs Kendall: Round 2" she's determined to live up to Abby's depiction of her as The Wicked Witch. From insulting Christi's outfit (fair) to mocking the ALDC kids as they perform (uncalled for), Cathy isn't in a mood to give anyone an easy time this week. She's become visibly sick of the show treating her as the default villain and even says so as much directly to camera during competition, and Abby is determined to make sure that depiction sticks.

As the girls prepare to perform at Dance Troupe Inc. in Roanoke, VA Abby rallies the girls with a warning that they are replaceable and to not embarrass her. Kelly admonishes Abby, saying the girls deserve a pep talk especially since they've been doing well at competitions as of late. Though only Maddie is given a proper pep-talk and it mostly serves to drive a wedge between her and the other girls. Jill continues to be unhappy with what she sees as a bias against Kendall by the producers as Kendall is paired off against Chloe this week. With Candy Apples afoot however, even Abby isn't going to risk giving her team bad choreo. Or will she?

Quotes

• “Abby's Right Boob... I feel like everybody does that. Right boob? Yeah, why!? Somebody needs to do the left! You're neglecting the left." (03:42-03:52 | Christi & Kelly)
• “Cathy and Jill actually in real life absolutely hate each other. Remember she was telling us the other day she blocked her?" (20:05-20:14 | Christi & Kelly)
• “I don't blame Cathy for the way she feels about Dance Moms. She is the goat, and not like the Greatest of All Time GOAT, she's the punching bag." (42:51-43:02 | Christi)
• “Speaking of witches. The Wicked Witch in the Wizard of Oz when she locks Dorothy in the tower and flips over the hourglass and she's going out and she's like time is ticking? That's how I feel knowing your episode is coming." (45:31-45:43 | Christi)

Links

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Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre

Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510

Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak

Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Link to our new series with Melissa and Jill, Pillow Talk!

https://patreon.com/DanceMomsPillowTalk?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

"Out of the two of them, who do you think is the good witch and the bad witch? I would say Cathy's the good witch, Abby is definitely the bad witch!" It's ironic on the eve of the release of the Wicked movie that we get an episode that heavily centers on wicked witches, though the biggest witch of the all according to our bitches here can't even see the writing on the wall!

The episode opens with Payton getting "cut" from the team (can you really be cut if you were never officially on the team?). After three weeks at the bottom of the Pyramid and last week's broken ankle debacle, tensions were running high between Abby and Leslie so Payton was ultimately asked to leave, for now at least. Refocusing on the team, Abby seems to not care too much that the group brought home. victory at the last competition and starts to work the girls against one another. Chloe and Kendall are each given a solo with the intent of settling who truly deserves to be Abby's number 2.

Cathy returns with an all boy's team to spice up the competition, which send Abby into an angry spiral. To push back against her nemesis Abby decides the group dance will be about witches, with Maddie portraying a "good witch" as a stand in for Abby. Meanwhile Christi and Jill prep their daughter's solos and the moms start to get a little heated with one another. Jill is convinced Christi is getting a leg up while Christi is upset that Abby won't finish the choreography or her daughter's big dance.

Quotes

• “Hold on, let Kelly choke to death first. Our poor Kelly. She needs to get better so she can go back to being a bitch. Cause when you're sick I can't be mean to you." (1:55-2:05 | Christi)
• “I don't know. I'm not a doctor, nor do I play one on a podcast." (10:50-10:53 | Christi)
• “I wonder what the card said? Sorry for being late? I don't know, please don't torture me on national television I beg of you?" (46:22-46:31 | Christi & Kelly)
• “I don't know is this news? I don't know. Doesn't feel newsworthy to me. This feels like the same old shit we listen to every week!" (53:32-53:40 | Christi)

Links

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Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre

Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510

Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak

Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"Best mom hack you learned being on Dance Moms? How about: Don't try this at home!"

We're always getting requests to do more Q&A episodes, so here ya go! If you're part of our Patreon then you're already used to us answering your questions, but not everyone has hopped aboard with all of our little Bitchettes just yet! So we figured what better way to relax and wind down after a pretty contentious week than with a little Q&A session. Joining us to moderate and sort through your questions is Intern Matt! No he's not just someone we talk about, he's real!

Tune in to hear the answers to some of your most burning questions: What was the worst place to travel to for the show? What are Christi and Kelly's opinions on "gardening" with the good kush? What is their HBIC walk-out music (and do they know what that means?). And of course are they getting any closer to figuring out what pochina means?

Quotes

• “We let Chloe name Clara, although Chloe kept campaigning for "Miley" because Hannah Montana was big at the time." (12:30-12:37 | Christi)
• “It's vagina adjacent, for sure." (21:45-21:47 | Christi)
• “We were like do you have any questions [about "the talk"]? Chloe had one question. I cannot say what word it was, but she said what does "The J word" mean!? It was because of a word that Paige taught her! Cause Brooke taught her!" (32:25-32:38 | Christi & Kelly)
• “who would die first fi you were in a horror movie? Oh the dumb bitch? Me. Oh no you'd be the killer. You'd be the one killing bitch! Oh, ok Jill would be the first to go." (38:30-38:42 | Christi)

Links

Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w 

Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre

Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510

Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak

Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.