A husband and his (only) wife give a weekly breakdown to the newest season of the TLC sinking ship, known as, "Sister Wives!" Follow along as this couple talks about all things, Brown family, Coyote Pass and Lula Roe! Not suitable for children... or people who actually like the Brown family.
"Janelle and Meri join forces to finally get answers about Coyote Pass, but Kody is having doubts about letting it go. Christine takes another step towards independence and buys a vacation rental in Moab."
Janelle is busy collecting documents and zooming Meri– all in an effort to take Kody down. Robyn and her tenders just barely escape a tragic death by table. Christine is really going all in on her new business venture in Moab– but David has shrimp on the mind!
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"Christine and Janelle each reveal big new chapters in their lives. Kody meets with a realtor at Coyote Pass. Meri has a new companion in her life, and considers meeting with a lawyer about the property."
Janelle is an absolute villain to poor innocent Kody and Robyn– and all she cares about is money for more appliances and shit. Kody spills his entire life story to his new realtor, Meri and Jen are busy being salty bitches and Christine wears an awful braided ponytail while buying a place in Moab.
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"The day is finally here that Christine is getting married! It's a joyful event on the banks of the Colorado River as Christine and David say, "I do." Kody discusses missing out on the Brown family celebration, and has a scary close call while cutting down a tree."
The day is finally here a-fucking-gain. Christine is going to assault David out on the dance floor on their wedding day. A flash mob ensues and makes all Christine's Bruno Mars dreams come true. Meri is fillin' feisty and ready to come out and play with her crazy best friends, Just Jenn and Blaire with the lips. Robyn tries to kill Kody but is unsuccessful.
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"Meri cuts up a quilt that celebrated her marriage to Kody; Christine and David are in Moab preparing for their magical day; Robyn and Kody have a difficult conversation about the break-up of the family."
Meri reflects on all the good times her and Kody shared, like when he told her that she's a miserable bitch and he can't wait to return the favor. Cameras are rolling as Robyn soars to new heights. Christine and David continue to shove their wedding down our throat. Janelle springs into action when Toyota Avalon ends up on a milk carton.
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"Robyn's girls explore non-mormon churches and Kody struggles to keep quiet about it. Christine tries on her fairytale wedding dress, and the party continues with a wedding shower. Meri wants to start dating soon."
Meri and her friend Amber Malynn are having fun destroying any shred of Kody from Meri's life when a tragic accident takes Amber's knee. Dweedle Dee, Dweedle Dumb and Neck decide to try out a new church that leaves them in tears. Christine gets to try on her ill-fitted custom wedding dress, thanks to Destrie!
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"Kody and Robyn go on a date, and Kody rails against their former church. Christine and David host an engagement party with some very messy tacos. Meri and Jenn visit Brandi in Las Vegas to dish about her spiritual release from Kody."
As the Brown family continues to fall apart, cameras turn their attention to Christine and the shocking storyline no-one saw coming. Robyn goes to church and is immediately surrounded by men who want to fuck her. Janelle looks hot in a pink dress and Meri takes Brandi and Jen to do exactly what Kody did on last weeks episode.
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"Christine goes shopping for her dream wedding dress; Meri meets with two of her friends and struggles to come to grips with her new reality; Aurora and Breanna approach Robyn about returning to church."
Meri has a sit down with two wanna-be-therapists who gas her up and tell her she's an amazing business woman. Christine tries on a ton of ill-fitting dresses, while Truely suggests David go to town eating Christine's tits. Robyn has a very heavy sit-down with her two losers about becoming Buddhist.
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"As the deadline to pay off Coyote Pass looms, tensions rise over how the family will divide the property. Meri takes an empowering solo trip to England, and Christine and Janelle host a graduation party for Savannah."
Meri goes on a pathetic Eat Pray Love to look at a bunch of stacked rocks. Maddie puts on her boss babe hat and starts whipping Janelle into shape– while simultaneously Kody wishes he could screw Janelle so hard. Robyn is sick of pretending to like Meri and Savannah gets the worst graduation party the Browns have ever hosted.
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"Kody sobs after helping Meri move away from Flagstaff, leaving Meri confused about why he has pushed her away for so many years. David and Christine gather their kids to announce their engagement, and Janelle meets David."
Meri tricks Kody into spending one more anniversary together and trying to get intimate, but Kody has his #metoo moment and remembers how special cold sex with Robyn is. Paedon ruins Christine's huge surprise that no one saw coming (not even Nathan) and David is so excited to show Janelle his pasty arms and lame tattoos.
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"Christine and David's relationship continues at light speed when they go off-roading in Moab and David gets down on one knee; Ysabel is in tears over fears of losing her dad; Meri asks Kody to help her move to Parowan."
David and Christine are jumping into the Razor and leaving Ysabel in the dust while they fuck around Fast and the Furious style in Moab. Meri continues to be a sad pathetic loser who is delusional beyond belief. Kody and Robyn are pissed when they get roped into helping Meri move.
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"Janelle warns Meri about trusting Kody regarding the Coyote Pass property. Despite having dated for only a few months, Christine and David go house-hunting. The family gathers for Gwendlyn's bridal shower, and Kody awkwardly meets David."
Kody's been robbing from Meri to pay Robyn– and when Janelle alerts her to it, Meri knows Kody is a gentleman and would never do anything to hurt her (except for neglecting her the past 10 years of their marriage. Christine and David decide to fuck in every model home they go to, Gwen and Bernice go for an all you can eat surf-and-turf at the Olive Garden and Mykelti puts her producer hat on once again.
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