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Gay Men Going Deeper

Gay Men's Brotherhood

Welcome to Gay Men Going Deeper, a podcast about personal development, sexuality, and mental health. Brought to you by the Gay Men’s Brotherhood and hosted by Matt Landsiedel and Michael DiIorio. Visit us at www.GayMenGoingDeeper.com

  • 51 minutes 56 seconds
    Red Flags in Dating

    In this episode, we’re talking about those warning signs and signals to look out for in potential partners and how to manage these warning signs with care and confidence. We’ll reveal our red flags, both in others and in ourselves, and how we respond to them when they show up in our dating lives.

    Some of the topics we cover in this episode are:

    • Common red flags to look out for and why they matter
    • Red flags we might bring into dating and how they affect relationships
    • Strategies for dealing with red flags constructively
    • Setting boundaries and knowing when to walk away
    • Balancing awareness with compassion and curiosity in dating

    By sharing our own red flags and experiences, this episode equips listeners with practical approaches to navigate red flags, fostering stronger self-awareness, boundaries, and a healthy perspective on dating.

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    14 November 2024, 12:00 pm
  • 43 minutes 38 seconds
    Commitment and Connection in Open Relationships

    Are open relationships really about avoiding commitment, or is there more to the story? In today’s episode, Michael is joined by Dr. Israel Martinez to unpack the common misconceptions around consensual non-monogamy (CNM) and explore how commitment and connection can flourish in open relationships.

    We’ll be discussing:

    • Common misconceptions about CNM and monogamy
    • How to determine your ideal relationship style
    • What is a relationship anchor and how to find it
    • The role of trust, communication, and emotional intimacy in CNM
    • Social conditioning around monogamy as the only valid type of relationship

    Dr. Martinez also offers self-reflection questions and takes Michael through an exercise to determine his own relationship style and anchor, giving you a practical tool to use in your own exploration.

    Whether you’re curious about exploring CNM or already practicing it, this episode will give you the tools and insights to foster strong, lasting connections outside of monogamy.

    Today's Guest: Dr. Israel Martinez

    Today's Host: Michael DiIorio

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    7 November 2024, 12:00 pm
  • 41 minutes 46 seconds
    Developing Emotional Resilience

    In today’s episode, we’re going deeper into the topic of resilience—what it really means and how we can develop it, especially as gay men and our unique challenges. We’ll explore how the struggles we face, from feeling out of place to dealing with minority stress, can become powerful tools for personal growth. Resilience isn’t just about pushing through; it’s about learning, adapting, and thriving in the face of adversity.

    Some of the topics we’re discussing today include:

    • The difference between dissociating vs. productively handling stress
    • Surrender vs. persistence: when to let go and when to push forward
    • Using suffering as a tool for healing and personal transformation
    • How to reframe challenges as a curriculum for building emotional resilience
    • Recognizing the fine line between building resilience and burning out
    • How community and connection can strengthen our ability to bounce back
    • The importance of self-compassion in the process of resilience

    By the end of this episode, you'll have a fresh perspective on how to face your struggles head-on, using them to build a stronger, more resilient version of yourself.

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    31 October 2024, 11:00 am
  • 53 minutes 12 seconds
    Navigating Depression

    In this episode, Matt and Reno come together for their first duo episode to talk about their experiences with depression. They share openly about what causes depression in their lives and what they have done to deal with it. If you are someone who struggles with depression, we want you to know you are not alone. It is so important to normalize conversations about aspects of mental health that are still stigmatized. We hope this episode leaves you feeling seen, and offers you some ways to support yourself, and also ways to feel supported by others as you navigate your own depression. 

    The questions we explore in this episode are:

    • What is depression?
    • What is your relationship to depression?
    • How have you dealt with your depression?
    • What advice do you have for someone who is dealing with depression?

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    24 October 2024, 11:00 am
  • 45 minutes 12 seconds
    I Don’t Belong in the Gay Community

    Have you ever felt like you just don’t belong in the gay community? In today’s episode, we’re tackling the deep and painful feeling of not fitting in—a sentiment shared by many gay men. Some of the topics we’re exploring today are:

    • How do we feel excluded vs. how do we feel included?
    • Belonging vs. fitting in
    • Vulnerability
    • Judging others and ourselves 
    • Core wounding and attachment trauma
    • Fear of rejection
    • Fostering more inclusive spaces 

    If you’ve ever felt like an outsider or if you want to help create a more inclusive gay community, this episode is for you. Let’s learn how to cultivate belonging, both for ourselves and those around us.

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    17 October 2024, 11:00 am
  • 31 minutes 46 seconds
    I Wish I Wasn’t Gay

    In honour of National Coming Out Day, we’re diving deep into a sentiment many gay men have struggled with at some point: "I wish I wasn’t gay." While this feeling may seem contradictory on a day meant to celebrate coming out, it’s a reality for many who grapple with their sexual orientation and the journey to self-acceptance.

    In this episode, we unpack the challenges of embracing your authentic self, including:

    • How we came to accept our sexuality
    • Would we change our sexuality if we could?
    • Words of encouragement for those who wish they were something different than they are

    Whether you’re on your own journey of self-discovery or supporting someone who is, this episode is filled with heart, vulnerability, and hope. Please do share this episode with someone who needs to hear it to foster more understanding, compassion, and support on this National Coming Out Day.

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    10 October 2024, 11:00 am
  • 1 hour 2 minutes
    Mindset Work VS. Body Work

    In this episode, we welcome Somatic Intimacy Coach, Vance Hedman, for an insightful discussion on the importance of both mindset work and somatic body work when dealing with emotional pain and discomfort. We delve into how each approach can be uniquely beneficial in different scenarios, particularly when it comes to intimacy, building friendships, and deepening relationships. Some of the concepts we cover today are:

    • How mindset work and body work are different and how they are similar
    • How each approach can help you feel better
    • Dealing with uncomfortable emotions 
    • Finding peace in the discomfort of growth 
    • Getting out of your comfort zone in seeking intimacy 
    • How our emotions can trick us into stagnation 
    • When to listen to fear and when to overcome it 
    • Self-compassion
    • Choosing the right environment for social situations
    • Changing yourself for yourself vs. changing yourself for others 

    Learn how integrating mindset and somatic tools can lead to deeper connections and a more holistic sense of well-being where your mind and body are working in tandem towards your goals.

    Today's Guest: Vance Hedman

    Today's Host: Michael Diiorio

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    3 October 2024, 11:00 am
  • 43 minutes 13 seconds
    Dealing with Your Inner Critic

    In this episode of Gay Men Going Deeper, we dive into the complexities of the inner critic—the voice in our heads that often feeds perfectionism, shame, and self-doubt. While it can feel like a harsh and relentless judge, the inner critic is actually trying to protect you in its own way. We explore how to better understand this part of ourselves, offering strategies for befriending the inner critic and cultivating a mindset of self-compassion.

    Some of the topics covered today are:

    • How the inner critic shows up to fuel perfectionism and shame
    • The hidden ways the inner critic tries to protect us
    • Strategies to befriend your inner critic instead of letting it bully you
    • The power of self-compassion in quieting harsh inner dialogue
    • Transforming negative self-talk into constructive feedback
    • Unleashing your inner self-advocate to help keep the inner critic at bay 

    Join us for a thoughtful discussion on turning down the volume on self-criticism and fostering a healthier, more supportive relationship with yourself.

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    26 September 2024, 11:00 am
  • 42 minutes 54 seconds
    Compare and Despair

    Today we’re tackling the universal struggle of comparing ourselves to others. Whether it’s about body image, social status, or relationships, comparison can have a negative impact on our mental health, leading to a cycle of insecurity and self-doubt.

    In this episode, we’re looking at how to break the cycle and actually re-frame it for your personal development. Join us as we dive into how to compare consciously and mindfully, transforming it into a tool that actually serves you instead of tearing you down. Some of the topics covered today are:

    • Knowing who we compare ourselves to and why
    • Instagram, TikTok, and social media - and its impact on your self-esteem
    • Self-worth and self-confidence 
    • Mindfulness and deliberate thought work 
    • Stories we tell ourselves about other people’s success 
    • How to break the cycle of compare and despair 
    • Tearing others down as an attempt to find comfort 

    Join us for an informative episode where we’ll break down practical strategies for breaking free from the compare-and-despair cycle so you can find more peace and self-assuredness.

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    19 September 2024, 11:00 am
  • 40 minutes 14 seconds
    How to Make Friends with Gay Men

    In this episode of Gay Men Going Deeper, we explore the complex nature of making friends within the gay community. There’s a fine line between sexual or romantic connections and platonic friendships, and those lines can blur quite easily. Some of the topics we’ll cover include:

    • Blurred lines between friends and friends with benefits
    • Advice and tips on platonic friendships
    • How to expand your friendship circle
    • Keeping an open mind when meeting people
    • Having honest conversations

    Join us as we delve into the challenges and dynamics that come into play in gay platonic friendships. Whether you're seeking to expand your circle or strengthen existing bonds, we share practical tips and insights on how to build and maintain meaningful friendships without the complications of romantic feelings getting involved.

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    12 September 2024, 11:00 am
  • 50 minutes 12 seconds
    Social Anxiety in Groups of Gay Men

    In this episode, we are talking about the unique challenges and pressures that we face in social settings within our own community.  The Gay Men’s Brotherhood is dedicated to helping gay men connect and build more authentic and meaningful relationships, but this is particularly challenging for those who feel anxious in groups of gay men. 

    We'll share our personal experiences and the coping strategies we've developed to manage and overcome social anxiety. Topics discussed today are:

    • Types and levels of social anxiety
    • Reasons why group situations trigger anxiety
    • Strategies for coping in social situations 
    • How nerves can manifest in physical symptoms
    • The power of self-talk and inner dialogue 
    • Opportunities for connection within our community 

    Our goal is to provide you with practical advice and insights so you can more actively engage in our community events and form deeper connections with others.

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    5 September 2024, 11:00 am
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