After 54 episodes filled with heartfelt and thought-provoking conversations, the Rewilding Love podcast reaches its first season final episode. Rohini and Angus share their lessons learned from the journey and their guests. This is what makes Rewilding Love a genuine and life-changing relationship podcast.

Taking a journey of vulnerability with your partner opens your eyes to them. So you gain a better grasp of how they think and how they process things. This allows you to be more sensitive to their needs and provide support when necessary.

Seeing the value of honest, open, authentic communication helps us let go of the habitual thought patterns of the ego that try to keep us feeling safe, and supports us with awakening more fully to who we are and this impacts how we show up in relationships.

Angus recalled how Mavis Karn’s words (Episode 30) about letting go of anything that doesn’t look like love helped him realize how he can get caught up in his programming and conditioning and use anger as a coping mechanism. Understanding this habit allowed him to gain more compassion for himself and for Rohini.

Angus and Rohini have lived that transformation. They have been through the same ups and downs that the couples they work with have. As Rohini said, they lived in high pain, high conflict relationships that didn’t look like they would ever find peace — but they did. And now, they can pass on what they learned, so others can share openly and vulnerably, and truly experience the love that is their true nature and express that love.

This episode explores:

• Not identifying with our ego
• Vulnerability as a turning point 
• How deeper connections help us find freshness and newness in relationships
• Getting caught up in programming and conditioning and getting free

Show Notes:

Alicia and Mateo: Episodes 1 to 15 of the Rewilding Love podcast followed their journey towards reconciliation.

Kelly McGonigal: A health psychologist from Stanford University and featured TED Speaker in 2013. She talked about the upside of stress and the effect of oxytocin on our brain, heart, and entire body.

Oxytocin: A hormone produced in the brain that is associated with anti-stress-like effects, empathy, hugging, orgasm, and sexual activity.

Spanner in the works: A British idiom that means a disruption, a foil, or cause of problems.

Angus Ross & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate private couples' intensive retreat programs that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org. Read Rohini's latest blog.

Episode 54 features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles-based composer Greg Ellis.

While it’s normal to want to please partners in relationships, overextension of efforts often leads to conflict. In this episode, Rohini and Angus share their take on how to break the pattern of pleasing our partners without honoring our limitations, while valuing the importance of diversity in relationships. They also talk about how to surpass any feelings of resentment that may arise when the receiver misses out on celebrating the giver’s generosity.

It’s important to know our boundaries and articulate our limits to our partners. This is important for “pleasers” in a marriage who have a tendency to put themselves first without listening to what works for them. Often, they resort to overriding their instincts for the sake of a quiet and peaceful coexistence and to avoid emotional pain. And, when the appreciation they receive is not equal to the overextension they’re making, it only leads to unhappiness.

Assuming that our partner recognizes the efforts we’re making disregards the fact that the other person is not psychic, or that they process information differently than we do. Pleasing our partner is healthy, but only if it’s within our internal boundaries. If it’s just to feel safe from disappointment, then the misplaced motivation only serves as a coping mechanism to protect ourselves.

In this episode, Rohini and Angus offer helpful advice on how not to keep giving with our reserve fuel to the point of depletion. Doing so ensures we’ll only be running on fumes. It’s easier to get angry when holding on to old patterns of people-pleasing behavior.

To overcome the conflict that results from a lack of appreciation, it’s important to be present and more honest with ourselves. We must be okay with being vulnerable.

One important takeaway from Rohini and Angus’ discussion is when we speak our truth from a neutral place without fear of being judged, we can show up more authentically in our relationships. This creates a harmonious give-and-take dynamic that allows two people who love each other to enjoy the relationship.

Angus Ross & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate private couples' intensive retreat programs that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org. Read Rohini's latest blog.

Episode 52 features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles-based composer Greg Ellis.

This episode is an insightful conversation with entrepreneur, coach, and Rewilder Guide Melissa Palazzo Hart about doubting our doubts and ultimately letting go. We also get to hear Melissa’s powerful poem which perfectly encapsulates the feeling of finally accepting ourselves as we are in the here and now.

Melissa shares her experiences with self-doubt and self-esteem issues, despite all the success and happiness in her life. One milestone and success point after another, she continued to look for the perfect pieces for her life to fall all in line.

Melissa’s emotions can be felt as she recounts her journey towards acceptance. She is a charismatic speaker able to pull our heartstrings, make us laugh, and help us see the light amid all the darkness and doubt in our minds.

Rohini and Melissa dive deep into the importance of acceptance. Melissa shares how accepting ourselves as we are can give us more freedom to truly grow into full potential — to have the courage to explore and experiment. 

As Rohini pointed out, knowing who we are allows us to come to a place of authentic empowerment. It becomes the foundation from which possibilities arise. 

By recognizing our insecure thinking and doubting our doubts, we start to hear the voice inside ourselves that says everything is perfect as it is now. When we pay less attention to our negative thoughts and accept that we are good enough, we start to open ourselves up to possibilities in all areas of life.

Show Notes

• Tetris - a puzzle game popularized in the 80s where players have to fit tiles together perfectly to advance to the next level
• “Chasing enoughness”: how Melissa describes living a good life yet still believing that something needs fixing and it isn’t enough
• ebook Marriage by Rohini Ross

Melissa Palazzo-Hart is a mom, leader, and coach, who is part of the 1% of women that have ever managed to smash through the C-Suite glass ceiling of corporate America. As a pioneer of women in the boardroom, she’s taken the arrows so that her peers – and the next generation – will have more success and less stress. She has over 20 years of experience building powerful brands, scaling businesses, and increasing revenue. 

Melissa’s passion is to unleash the infinite potential within all people: helping individuals and teams see and live beyond perceived limits. She regularly speaks about State of Mind and its impact on performance in businesses worldwide.

Angus Ross & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate a private couples' intensives retreat program that rewilds relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org. Read Rohini's latest blog.

Episode 51 features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles-based composer Greg Ellis.

Every relationship includes two people often with different neurological orientations living in their separate realities. In this episode, Rohini and Angus share how they navigate neurodiversity in their relationship. Their brains work very differently, and they have different strengths and weaknesses. You will get to hear some of their hilarious escapades.

Here are some teasers, Rohini lacks coordination when it comes to physical activities, while Angus is a gifted athlete and loves sports. Rohini loves to talk, while Angus needs time to organize his thoughts and says much less. During their conversations, Angus sometimes has to connect the dots due to Rohini leaving out crucial details because she’s already hit the ground running, and Angus can’t always read her mind.

Their neurodiversity is even apparent in how they start their days. Rohini usually wakes up first and is running on all cylinders. Angus needs time to warm up and ease into the day. When it comes to finances and business development, Rohini is the visionary, and Angus excels in creativity and artistic talents. They are both, however, very intuitive, and empathic. There they share common ground.

The key for relationships is to understand and respect the separate realities and neurodiversity of our partners.  Relationships are not about fixing your partner or changing them. They are for opening our hearts and celebrating differences and diversity. 

We, humans, are always looking to experience greater balance and harmony. With an open heart and open mind, love and understanding are natural by-products that support couples in finding common ground and experiencing more balance and harmony in their relationships.

Neurodiversity does not have to be a challenge for couples when it is understood. Embracing neurodiversity allows couples to see how to complement each other and it brings newness and fresh perspectives to relationships.

One thing Rohini and Angus can wholeheartedly say is because of their differences, they are never bored in their relationship.

This episode explores:

• Navigating neurodiversity in relationships 
• Understanding and finding humor in each other’s strengths and weaknesses
• Finding balance and harmony for a happier and healthier relationship

Angus Ross & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate a private couples' intensives retreat program that rewilds relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org. Read Rohini's latest blog.

Episode 50 features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles-based composer Greg Ellis.

This is a beautiful conversation with recording artist and Rewilding Guide, Alvin Dawkins, about the unshakable truth of who we are at our core despite our circumstances. We also get a special sneak preview reading from Alvin's forthcoming memoir, From Prison to Purpose, which chronicles Alvin's birth in prison to his being adopted and growing up in Alabama during the harrowing Jim Crow era, to his discovery of music and his true spiritual essence. 
 
Alvin reminds us that no matter what we've been through, the wisdom behind life -- this creative energy force that infuses us all, remains intact no matter what. Not only is it intact, but it is guiding us, and we get to be part of it. He likens this truth to learning the mechanics of music, or an instrument so that we can play it -- but we then do better when we release the mechanical knowledge and become the instrument. That's when the music plays through us. The same can be said of the spiritual energy we are all a part of. For Alvin, music was the most powerful gateway that led him to embody his truth.
 
For many years Alvin battled with depression and distorted self-limiting beliefs. Through his journey of finding freedom from depression and his many "internal prisons," he realized so many people are still trapped living in their own prisons, not living from their authentic selves, and he wrote his upcoming memoir to show others that it's possible to break free and to point readers to the truth of they are. As Angus points out, one of the best ways we can point people toward their true nature is by telling our own stories, recounting our own insights, so that people might start to see the truth and possibility in finding the same freedom. 

This episode explores:

• the metaphorical meaning of rewilding
• "God's love never abandons us" - Alvin Dawkins
• the arts as a gateway to our soul
• the nature of life is ever-expanding
• telling our story helps us point to the formless

Show Notes
"psyche": Greek for breath, life, soul. Psychology is ultimately the study of the soul.
"higgledy-piggledy": in confusion or disorder / another Angus-ism

Alvin Dawkins is a Rewilder Guide. He's also a jazz bassist, composer, songwriter, and recording artist. He's author of the forthcoming book From Prison to Purpose, which is a memoir that chronicles his birth in prison, and being adopted and growing up in Alabama during the ugliness of Jim Crow segregation, during the heart of the civil rights movement, to freeing himself from depression and finding his calling.

Angus Ross & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate a private couples' intensives retreat program that rewilds relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org. Read Rohini's latest blog.

Episode 49 features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles-based composer Greg Ellis.

Inspired by remarks Tanner Zagarino made in our previous episode, we wanted to explore the themes of personal responsibility and free will.

When talking about how we generate our experience of life from the inside out, this may sound like we are saying that we have control over what we experience, since it's dependent on our internal perceptions. But while it is true that our experience is created from the thinking we identify with in the moment, it's not true that we are in control of what we experience, any more than we're in control of what thoughts will pop into our mind. 

Rohini had a massive insight about free will years ago at a training. She sees that all we can do is our best with the understanding that we have and since we don't have control over our understanding there is no free will. This took a huge amount of pressure off of her and gave her a deeper experience of inner freedom that brings out the best in her. 

While Angus, following an Anglican upbringing, had a hard time reckoning with the idea of no free will. He was brought up to believe he needed to use his free will for good and to get into heaven. This was indoctrinated into his psyche growing up. His fear was that if people have no free will, they'll just live by their worst instincts and present their worst version of themselves. 

Rohini counters this with her personal experience of being more gentle on herself, and therefore in her relationships too. When she doesn't think she needs to improve herself or be better, she is naturally kinder and more compassionate. 

Angus sees how the impersonal does not contain free will, that free will is a construct and therefore just part of our conditioned thinking. He feels he still has more consciousness rungs to climb in this arena. As we all do with an infinite understanding.

This episode explores:

• The idea of free will and how it is a concept
• How much personal responsibility do we have over our experience and how we feel
• Our experience of life is created from the inside 100% of the time
• The implications of the above

Angus Ross & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate a private couples' intensives retreat program that rewilds relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org. Read Rohini's latest blog.

Episode 48 features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles-based composer Greg Ellis.

We had a great time speaking with one of Angus's long-term clients, and actor, Tanner Zagarino about the impact this understanding has had on his career, relationships, and wellbeing.

In his early days working with Angus, Tanner experienced a significant shift in understanding after Angus helped him to see that the flow state emerges naturally from being present. In that moment Tanner reflected on how all the times he feels most at ease, and happiest is when he is fully present with not much on his mind. Seeing the common denominator in this allowed him to leverage this understanding to help him with his acting craft and in his relationships.

Tanner's excitement about this understanding is palpable. We both enjoyed sharing in his joy for the life-changing spiritual truths we discuss on this show. He speaks beautifully and profoundly about how we can experience flow states like driving by trees. We can let our thoughts pass without having to get caught up in the details.

Tanner also speaks to how once we start experiencing more flow states in our life, it can be easy to get down on ourselves when we lose them. It is important not to use this understanding against ourselves and recognize we are all on the learning curve of waking up and being present. This learning is infinite so we can relax and be grateful for what we see knowing more will always be revealed.
 
Show Notes
RADA: The Royal Academy of Dramatic Art is a drama school in London, England, that provides vocational conservatoire training for theatre, television, film, and radio. Angus booked a most-coveted audition but showed up a little too under the influence to get a callback

Claritin: Tanner likens talking with Angus and Rohini to taking  Claritin for allergies - the conversations clear him right up.

Tanner Zagarino is a former division one athlete and is now an actor and writer, known for Vinny Mancuso's Rules for Good Business (2020), The Price We Pay (2022), and 9-1-1: Lone Star (2020).

Angus Ross & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate a private couples' intensives retreat program that rewilds relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org. Read Rohini's latest blog.

Episode 47 features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles-based composer Greg Ellis.

Making room for our partner's humanness is important for the health of relationships. It is helpful to understand the inner workings of the nervous system that are at play when we and our partners are caught up so we can see their psychological innocence. Realizing that our fight, flight, or freeze responses are involuntary can help us take our partner's behavior (or lack thereof) less personally. 

Ultimately the fight, flight, and freeze responses are meant to keep us safe. Our nervous system is triggered inside of us when we perceive we are in danger -- we have no control over this natural response. But what we can do is practice self-care and support our nervous system. Taking care of ourselves helps us to maintain perspective, and this helps us to have greater clarity to see what is a threat and what isn't. 

Respecting a settled and relaxed state of mind is important too. The more time we spend in a settled state, the less often our nervous system is involuntarily triggered. But perhaps most important, is to understand that we're all on a learning curve with this, and our partner is acting the best way they know how for protecting themselves, even if the threat is just perceived. So if we can see the psychological innocence of our partner, and afford them that grace as their nervous system activates, we can wait for a better time to address issues and lessen the amount of escalation in the relationship. The more we see our own psychological innocence, the better we'll get at this. 

This episode explores:

• the nervous system is involuntary and protective
• if we're suffering it's because we're identifying with our painful thinking
• our partners are human and have their own responses to perceived threats
• the less time we spent caught up, the more our nervous system settles 

Show Notes
Spit out the dummy: To have a childish overreaction or angry outburst to a negative situation or outcome
Pear-shaped: A British idiom that means something went wrong or "went south" as Angus would also say.
Fight, fight, or freeze: Angus's version of the nervous system fear responses

Angus Ross & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate a private couples' intensives retreat program that rewilds relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org. Read Rohini's latest blog.

Episode 46 features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles-based composer Greg Ellis.

We talk with Dawn Wesolek, Business and Career Coach, Rewilding Guide, and student of the Three Principles, about how her relationship to problems in her life has completely transformed.  Dawn now sees how when she doesn't get caught up in her analytical machinery she is much better able to navigate life's challenges. She sees challenges as opportunities for learning and growth rather than as problems.

Since seeing her relationship with her own wisdom as her primary relationship, all the other important relationships in her life have improved. For example, she used to think her child needed to be different, or she needed to find her a Dad. But since letting her mind quiet, and deepening her understanding of where her experience comes from, she realized her daughter simply wanted her to be present with her and listen to her. This alone has transformed their relationship.

Dawn also presents a beautiful example of being guided by wisdom to leave a relationship. She saw how by living in her true nature, the decision of whether to stay or go was made for her, through her, and it couldn't have been clearer.

This episode explores:

• Relating to our problems differently
• Seeing the opportunity in hardship
• Understanding deeply that we are enough
• Presence is the greatest gift we can give 

Show Notes
The Joys of Spring: how Angus experiences Dawn
The Principles Don’t Solve Problems: They Make Them Disappear: Rohini's controversial blog post from 2019
Soufflé of life: Dawn's metaphor about how respecting divine timing can eliminate the illusion of a problem

Dawn Wesolek is a Business and Career Coach, Rewilding Guide and student of the three Principles. She practices worldwide focusing on helping individuals find inner resilience and renewed purpose in their careers and businesses. She has worked as a career coach with graduates, corporations, small businesses, and individuals since 2015. After a history of burnout in high-profile corporate jobs, she is now living a life transformed by the principles behind all human experience. Her practice is nestled between the sea, forest and, moors of Devon, in the UK where she offers her clients space for peace and reflection to find their inner creative guide and rewild their relationship to work. Dawn can be reached at: [email protected].

Angus Ross & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate a private couples' intensives retreat program that rewilds relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org. Read Rohini's latest blog.

Episode 45 features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles-based composer Greg Ellis.

Angus and Rohini talk about the healing power of embodying the full human experience, or put another way, the full breadth of human emotions. They each reflect on how they used to turn to coping mechanisms to avoid their more painful emotions, but these strategies just made the experience more difficult and had a negative impact on their relationship. Their coping mechanisms tended to push the other away.

It's in resisting our emotional experience that we suffer. As Sydney Banks, the man whose teachings inspired ours, said: "if the only thing people learned was not to be afraid of their experience, that alone would change the world." The fear-based thoughts we have about our emotional experience is what paralyzes us.

For example, Angus shares about his fear of heights and how once he saw the role his thinking was playing in magnifying that fear, he was able to just feel the emotion and still approach the activity involving the heights (like riding a roller coaster). Letting himself feel the fear instead of being stuck in the thoughts about the fear, allows him to still take part and ultimately enjoy the activity. 

Embracing our emotional experience, without judgement of ourselves, also allows us to experience deeper connection with others. It is difficult to have an authentic experience with someone else if we are "white-knuckling" our way through our own emotional experience. If we aren't being authentic then we aren't being vulnerable -- and our relationships require vulnerability for there to be true connection. 

This episode explores:

• Resisting our emotions causes suffering
• Being with our emotions is authentic and supports connection
• Letting go of control is actually the most pleasurable choice
• The healing power of experiencing all of our emotions

Show Notes

Knott's Berry Farm: "California's Best Theme Park" and where Angus rode a rollercoaster eyes-wide-open, screaming like a baby

Angus Ross & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate a private couples' intensives retreat program that rewilds relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org. Read Rohini's latest blog.

Episode 44 features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles-based composer Greg Ellis.