Across misty fields, the bagpipes echo. Brave managers of the Ellwood Fantasy Football League, we’ve donned our war paint and gathered our clans, standing ready on the digital battlefield where honor is won and legends are birthed. As the parchment of our draft boards unfurls, each pick resounds like the thunderous clap of shields. Freedom from last season's defeats is what we seek; freedom to claim the crown that could be ours! Let no past failures deter us. This draft is our battlefield, and we are the warriors destined to carve our fate with every selection. They may take our points, but ...

(Cue the Wellerman Sea Chanty tune) There once were a band of managers keen, With fantasy drafts, keepers, and trades. They studied stats and scoured the news, To make their lineup, no time to lose. Soon may the weekend come, bring us points and wins and fun, Sunday, when the matchup is won, We’ll celebrate and go. Well, Charles had a strategy so bold, Plays the waiver wire, fearless and cold, They look at the matchups and grin with a nod, Their lineup’s set, ready to shock and awe. Soon may the weekend come, Victories sweet and losses numb, One day, when the season is done, We'll draft anew and go. Now Chris he plaid with ...

As the Squish Factor™ celebrates big wins in Week 6, League Managers scaffold their dry and dusty line-ups amid the bye-week drought of Week 7. T&R welcomes to the pod a special guest who quickly violates our NDA, Non-Compete, and Indemnification clauses simultaneously. Too bad he's more lawyered up than any of us. The trade block reeks of desperation while the league scrambles to record-manage, both in near-term crisis and long-term outlook, and the relentless sands of time fall heavy and daunting through the cold, heartless hourglass that is our fate. Could we be more dramatic? No, no we could not. It's the ...

Just in time for the first cold front of fall, league managers scramble to patch their rosters as Week 5 ushers in the first bye-week blast of the season. Team Rankings continue to squish as this week's lineup offers a monster head-to-head matchup amidst the mostly pithy slap-fights. And yet, as the wise Bobby Hill once said via his All-American athlete ventriloquist dummy, Chip, "a W's a W anyway you get it." And as Bobby's dad Hank poetically added, "my son plays with dolls. There, I said it." Chip is right, and every W matters. But with a bone-dry waiver wire and ...

Surprising Squish has arrived early as Week 4 begins with no team better than 2-1, mostly due to narrow wins and the bad beats brought by happenstance the schedule. League chatter is lively as waiver activity and trades abound, the latter including significant (but not unequivocal) exchange. Those with winning records look to increase their margins, while the rest seek a shift in momentum as Week 4 flirts — nay, whispers — of those dreaded, irrecoverable rankings, whose eerie voices can be faintly perceived on the distance but approaching wind. While it's not quite do-or-die, for some, it's certainly time to ...

It's Week 2 in the (P)Ellwood Fantasy Football League, and in addition to learning the P is silent, Week 1 was chock full of surprises. Namely, we were wrong. Wrong about everything. Our draft grades? Wrong. Week 1 predictions? Wrong-o. Power Rankings? Not even close. But look. As stated in our fine print, T&R is for entertainment purposes only. Not to sound defensive here, but what do you want from us? I mean, we put ourselves out there, week after week, ya know? We take risks in front of a global audience! (Probably). And for what? To be told "you're wrong and stupid"?! Well, PARDON ...

Now, here on this ragged patch of earth called the Draft Lobby, hordes face obliteration. A-ooh! Just there the barbarians huddle, sheer terror gripping tight their hearts with icy fingers -- knowing full well what merciless horrors they suffered at the swords and spears of the 12. A-ooh! The enemy outnumber us a paltry 11 to 1; good odds for any Greek. This day we rescue a world from mysticism and tyranny, and usher in a future brighter than anything we can imagine. Give thanks, men, to the Ellwood Fantasy Football League, and the brave 12. A-ooh! A-ooh! A-ooh! To victory. It's the greatest fantasy football league ...

Alright alright alright! It's the final countdown as we mighty men emerge from hibernation and step out into the sunny rays of fantasy football. That's right, the 2023 Draft is upon us. Like the morning dawn, the season ahead offers bright promise and hopeful future. Anything is possible, and much is expected. The 2022 season offers a plethora of narratives waiting to be redeemed, and never before has our league champion(s) and incumbency carried such asterisk. The stage is truly set for opportunity. But to thrive, one must survive. So shake off the cobwebs, lick the wounds, and polish your past accolade ...

And then there were six. Six fierce competitors sit in the coveted seats of the 2022 Playoff Bracket, each with formidable chances of a successful run. And while their victories may be short-lived, their 2023 "incumbent" status and badge of honor is secure — and that can't be taken away. So here's to you, gentlemen. Enjoy the spoils, for this Sunday, we dine in hell. If you find yourself alone, riding in the green fields with the sun on your face, do not be troubled. For you are in Elysium, and you're already dead. And to our fallen comrades, those Unfortunate Six ...

A chaotic wind blows as the league is wrought with statistical anomaly. We teeter on Squish Factor™ while not one—but two—teams have yet to claim a win on the eve of Week 8. How is that even possible, you might ask? How could two talented managers, each with the medals to prove their own chops, have such a record?? Forget skill—how is it even statistically possible? Exceedingly rare though it may be, it is a reality that once again proves what we all know to be true about our league: we are a special snowflake. It's the greatest fantasy football league in ...