The trio flies by the seats of their pants to make good on a premise laid out in book one, *banking* on one evil hair to disguise Hermione (and her voice) perfectly. Griphook keeps a tight grip on ol' Hook, Travers finds an amazing hiding spot in the Gringotts caverns, stalagmite's got an "M" in it, and the Probity Probes are so crude, but effective,. 'Ow you? Hopefully, not in sympathy with the Dark Lord's aims. And try not to touch anything!

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Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.

Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

As 2019 comes to a close, we are back to celebrate the holiday season Potter-style. Join us as we rank the best magical locations to celebrate the holidays with returning guest Kate Hildner (@khildner11), go on a choose-your-own-corny-Holiday-adventure with new guest Angela Bloom (@angpalaggi), and sort some classic Christmas characters with the Real Weird Husband/Brother-in-Law, Paul Asleson (@paulasleson).

Special thanks to friends of the podcast Justin Ramsay, Harrison Tu, and Kanna Ann Anderson for their musical contributions to the episode! Apologies to listeners for our inclusion of several of Shut Up Tim's non-musical contributions as well.

Thank you so much for listening to the show. We wish you a wonderful holiday season!

If you enjoyed today’s show, please consider supporting us on Patreon (www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters)!

Harry concocts a despicable plan to double-cross Griphook, though it's not nearly as vile as breaking into Dumbledore's tomb - he could never have done that. Fleur--who is not an owl--escapes from ze Grindylows long enough to give Aunt Muriel back her tirahrah, which is easier done than said! And finally, Remus John Lupin arrives for a well-timed nightcap with his bros, and answers a bunch of questions no one ever asked. It's a werewolf thing.

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Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.

Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

It's back to the book club as Alice and Martha dive into "The Wandmaker," alternatively named "The Banker." Harry makes his decision in the Horcruxes vs. Hallows debate, and he is incredibly confident and assured in the wake of Dobby's funeral. Actually, he's highly logical, which allows him to look past extraneous detail. Meanwhile, You-Know-Who flies off to Dumbledore's tomb, where the old fool was definitely stupid enough to think that marble would keep the Elder Wand safe.

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Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.

Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and seven Marthas are joined by Jessica Liese (@HaymakerHattie) and He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named to review Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1.

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Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.

Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode.

Numerous plots converge in what is definitely (SPOILER ALERT!) the best chapter of the book so far. Luna, Ollivander, Dean, Aberforth, Draco, Bellatrix, Griphook, Greyback, Grindelwald, and Wormtail all play important roles in the action, but none as important as our fallen warrior, Dobby,
a free elf, who knows no master! From new character impressions to moments of silence to tears from an unexpected source, this episode has it all.

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Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.

Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Watch Harry descend into madness as he contemplates the Elder Wand... the Resurrection Stone... the Cloak of Invisibility! Hermione is most skeptical, but old Xeno was right- she is limited. Narrow. Close-minded. Ron provides the trio with some much-needed stability and optimism, not to mention some amazing password-guessing skills. And finally, it’s time for some good ol’ Potterwatch, which is hosted by *gasp* some familiar voices! (Yes, we know that’s Lupin!)

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Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.

Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

This episode is set at midnight, not twilight - much spookier! Stretch out on the couch with your hands behind your head, sip your delicious Gurdyroot infusion, and eat some Freshwater Plimpy soup while you listen to Alice and Martha discuss Hermione's incredible translation skills, Luna's interior decor choices, and the complexities of old Xeno's motivations.

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Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.

Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

The gang's back together, but Ron has some serious and somber work cut out for him when it comes to winning Hermione over again, and tuning the wireless radio certainly isn't helping. Luckily, Harry and Ron are very subtly able to get away to "pick blackberries," which is bro code for "goof off ten feet away from the tent." Meanwhile, Hermione comes up with a plan to pay old Xeno Lovegood a visit, which seems foolproof as long as no one touches the erumpent horn (and there's no way anyone possibly will).

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Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.

Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Harry, dressed in all the sweaters he owns and running on two nights without sleep, makes the wise decision to follow a mysterious doe (dough?) deep into the Forest of Dean. Ron, with a ball of light inside his chest (we must have heard that wrong) saves the day and makes a triumphant return to the tent (if they can only find it!), where at least Hermione doesn't sic a flock of enchanted birds on him.

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Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.

Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Yet another cheery chapter to brighten your Monday! Harry finally gets the savage pleasure of finding out the "truth" that old Batty and Enid Smeek shared (willingly or not) with the world's most reliable narrator, Rita Skeeter, and the truth is that Dumbledore shared a damn sight more with Gellert Grindelwald than he ever did with Harry. This super short chapter packs an emotional punch, leaving Alice and Martha admiring Hermione's steadfastness and looking forward to Ron's return.

Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.

Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.

Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!