Trigger Warning: We want to let our listeners know that this episode includes mentions of sexual abuse, physical abuse, and thoughts of suicide. If you are sensitive to any of these topics, we recommend you listen with caution.

From the day she entered the world, Lucy Baker felt as though she didn’t have a home. Born inside of a jail to a mother in crisis, she was immediately placed into foster care and would end up having 37 different homes in her lifetime. Because of the extensive trauma she endured growing up, Lucy always struggled to feel as though she belonged. But Lucy knows that her past doesn't define her future—and she's found comfort in knowing that God always has a purpose for her life.

Lucy is a devoted Christ-follower, author, and speaker. Her formative years were tumultuous due to a complex family situation and challenging circumstances in foster care, but despite all the adversity she's faced, Lucy has reclaimed her story. Today, she's inspiring others to embrace the life-changing hope and healing only Jesus can bring.

In this episode, you’ll hear from Lucy about how an unpredictable childhood can warp a child’s worldview and sense of belonging, some of the struggles children in foster care often face but may not verbalize, how Jesus is our true home and source of stability, and much more.

Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/lucy-baker-259/

When a child enters our home, there are many factors we consider to ensure their comfort and safety. However, one important aspect of a child’s well-being can often be overlooked—their hair care. This is especially true if the child comes from a different racial background, where hair care needs may differ significantly.

Hair is an important part of African American culture and identity, but white foster parents sometimes struggle to understand how to care for types and textures of hair that are unlike their own. And for some children, caring for their hair can be emotionally or physically painful if it has been neglected for a long time.

Nurturing a child’s hair is an essential part of transracial fostering or adoption, and that's why I'm so grateful our latest guest was able to join us.

After earning a master’s degree in social work, Authrine T.K. Singleton began a career in child welfare. Through her work, she saw the gap in support for African American children placed in foster and adoptive homes. In 2009, she opened Master’s Touch Salon to be a resource and support to these families.

In this episode, you’ll hear common mistakes to avoid when caring for the hair of an African American child, practical tips for creating an effective hair and skin care routine tailored to the child’s needs, why proper care and styling of hair is a crucial bonding experience, and much more.

Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/authrine-singleton-258/

It’s natural to wonder who your birth parents are. In fact, this is a question that many foster and adoptive children wrestle with.

For children, teens, and even adults who have never known their biological parents, curiosity about their identity often goes hand in hand with a fear of the unknown. And for foster and adoptive parents, broaching this topic can bring up worries around the answers your child may find, and how what they uncover could heal or hurt them.

My guests today have navigated these questions and concerns from the perspectives of an adoptive child, adoptive parent, and birth mom. Kyle Bullock was adopted as a baby by Ellyn Bullock and her husband. As a teen, he began to have questions about his birth mom and set out to find her. After a search on MySpace, he found Michelle Hubble and discovered answers about his past. What followed was a long and rich relationship with both his birth mom and adoptive parents.

In this episode, our guests dive into the importance of discovering your identity, the challenges of interracial adoption, advice for people who may want to seek out their birth parents but feel nervous, and much more.

Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/kyle-bullock-257/

Over the summer, Sound of Hope: The Story of Possum Trot hit theaters across the country. This film tells the powerful true story of Donna and Bishop Martin as they ignited a fire in the hearts of their rural church to embrace children in foster care who needed a home.

Their East Texas community stepped up to do the impossible and adopt 77 children out of foster care. There were many challenges along the way, but through the grace of God and the strength of their conviction, they came together and transformed lives. Their story is a testament to the call for Christians to care for orphans and ensure every child knows the love and security of a family. I am so thrilled to have gotten the chance to sit down and chat with Donna and Bishop—the pair who led this inspiring movement.

In this episode, you’ll hear the circumstances that led Bishop and Donna to serve the foster care community, why their action inspired a community to do the same, how God has given a specific charge to the church to help children in need, and much more.

Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/bishop-donna-martin-256/

When you decide to become a foster parent, you are asked a wide range of questions about what kind of placements you are willing to accept. What ages will you take? What ages won’t you take? Are there any special needs you will or won’t be able to accommodate? What about sibling groups?

Even when your agency is doing their best to reach out to you about children that fit your criteria, the reality is that sometimes all of the information about a child is simply not known. They may not know the specific behaviors a child presents, every piece of their history, or additional challenges that you may face. There are times where, despite everyone’s best intentions, a placement needs to be disrupted, which can be a decision filled with guilt, shame, and deep heartache.

My guest today has firsthand experience navigating a placement disruption and all the emotions that come along with it. Kamrie Smith is a mom to three biological children and a current foster mom to one. In total, she and her husband have fostered 21 children over the years. She is a founding committee member of Foster Montana, an organization that provides support to children entering foster care and the families who say “yes” to them.

In this episode, you’ll hear why it can be challenging to navigate a placement that feels like it isn’t going well, how to navigate the emotional aftermath of a disruption, how to make peace with the difficult decision of accepting or denying a potential placement, and more.

Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/kamrie-smith-255/

It’s that time of year again! As you may know, we open applications to become a TFI Advocate only a couple times each year, and this November is one of those opportunities. If you’re considering applying, today’s episode is the perfect chance to learn more about what becoming a TFI Advocate journey really looks like.

That’s because we have the special treat of hearing from one of our most recently launched Advocates, Justin Meehan.

Justin and his wife have been foster parents for the last three years. Currently, they have three biological children and a soon-to-be adopted son. Justin is a newly launched TFI Advocate in Rochester, NH, where he is bridging the gap between his church and the local state foster care agency.

In this episode, you’ll hear what kind of support and community TFI Advocates receive, how seeing the struggles caseworkers are facing firsthand opened Justin’s eyes to their unmet needs, why answering just one question for your local church can help them get involved in foster care, and so much more.

Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/justin-meehan-254/

To make a positive impact on the foster care community, we need action on both a personal and systemic level. We need community members who are willing to step up and support individuals directly, but we also need leaders capable of creating policies that address real challenges.

My guest for this episode, Lynn Johnson, is someone who has stepped into both of these roles. Lynn served as Assistant Secretary for the Administration for Children and Families in the US Department of Health and Human Services, which is a Senate-confirmed appointment where she led over 60 programs designed to make a real impact on lives all across the country. It was in this position that she created the ALL IN Foster Care and Adoption Challenge as a national call for people at all levels of government, as well as community members, to commit to being ALL IN for America’s children.

Today, she continues this work as the President of ALL IN Empowering Futures, a non-profit agency combating the crises of children aging out of the foster care system, adoption, poverty, and human trafficking. 

In this episode, Lynn shares the lessons she’s learned from serving the foster care community on both a broad and personal scale, what she feels is the true measure of a successful program, how we can best serve adults who were formerly in foster care, and much more.

Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/lynn-johnson-253/

Have you ever had a foster placement or adoption plan fall through? Initially, you feel excited about the prospect of welcoming another child into your home. You start gathering things you think the child may need. Clothes. Toys. School supplies. But then you get another call that the plan is being changed. On one hand, you’re grateful there’s still a plan to keep the child safe, but on the other hand you feel a deep sense of loss and grief.

Learning to hold multiple conflicting emotions is a core part of foster care. All along the journey, we are holding both joy and grief. Beauty and hardship. Holding on and letting go.

My guest today knows precisely what this feels like. Melissa McGilliard has been married to Chris for sixteen years and is a stay-at-home mom to their three boys, the youngest of which joined their family through foster care.

In this episode, Melissa shares some of the raw emotions she has experienced as a foster parent, why better understanding herself has helped her better support her adopted child, and the importance of allowing your heart to hold conflicting emotions.

Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/melissa-mcgilliard-252/

“I couldn’t become a foster parent because I’d get too attached.”

This is a sentiment we’ve heard many times from those considering foster care.

We know that foster care is full of the good and the hard; both beauty and brokenness. Overcoming our fears and holding space for both of these things is no easy task. And in my guest’s experience, the fear of getting too attached is the very thing that makes you a good candidate to become a foster parent.

Caitlyn Baten has been married to her best friend, Tim, for six years. She’s an adoptive and foster mom, is passionate about advocacy and ethical storytelling, and is a devoted follower of Christ. Caitlyn spent most of her professional career in the counter-trafficking space and now works for Buckner International where she comes alongside churches and engages them in the domestic and international work they do.

In this episode, Caitlyn shares her honest experience of becoming a foster parent, why becoming attached to a whole family is important, practical advice for preparing for visits with biological parents, and the importance of giving yourself space for heavy emotions when a child reunifies.

Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/caitlyn-baten-251/

Open adoptions began in 1975, but they didn’t become more common until the 1990s. Today, 9 out of 10 adoptions are open. While open adoptions are far more common today, adoptive parents may have concerns and fears about navigating that relationship with a child's birth parents. Likewise, birth parents are often worried about finding the place they belong in the process and entrusting someone else to care for their child while still maintaining a relationship.

Today, I have the privilege of learning from and listening to someone who was formerly in foster care and who is also a birth mother. Jori Victory is an advocate for healthy, open adoption, mental health resources, and post-placement care for birth mothers. She lives in Utah with her four children.

In this episode, Jori shares with us her experience of navigating the birth and adoptive parent relationship, the importance of remaining in a child’s life, the loss that can come with not knowing your biological parents, and the challenge of discovering your identity in the midst of complex circumstances.

Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/jori-victory-250/

TW: This episode contains mentions of drug use, physical abuse, and sexual abuse. If these topics could be triggering for you or others, we wanted you to be aware of these topics before listening.

The trauma of our past can often define us and inform what we think and how we behave. This can create a cycle in which we are far more likely to repeat the mistakes of those who have gone before us.

As Darnella Miller was growing up, her mother was caught in a cycle of drug addiction, placing Darnella in many unsafe situations that led to multiple forms of abuse and eventually removal from her mother’s care.

Today, Darnella is the Founder and CEO of BornCovered, a program where she gets to use her personal journey through foster care, teenage parenthood, and aging out of the system to empower, support, and uplift young girls and youth facing similar challenges. A Brooklyn native, Darnella is deeply committed to her family. She is happily married, with three daughters and three bonus sons.

In this episode, you’ll hear the emotions children may experience when being placed in foster care, how Darnella has broken generational cycles, and how the system can offer valuable support.

Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/darnella-miller-249/