We’re all imperfect. On this podcast, founder of The Resilience Project Hugh van Cuylenburg, his good friend Ryan Shelton, and only one of their brothers, Josh van Cuylenburg, talks to a variety of interesting people who vulnerably share their own struggles and imperfections, or expertly pass on their wisdom on the subject of imperfection. Whether it’s in The Vulnerabilitea House, The Academy of Imperfection, or with our very own psychologist, Dr Emily, The Imperfects are here to find some valuable takeaways we can all apply to our own imperfect lives.
This is an open letter to parents of autistic and neurodivergent people.
It may be confronting.
Please take care when listening.
Love,
Hugh
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Hannah Diviney is one of the most powerful people in pop culture.
At just 25 years old, the author, advocate, and actor hasn’t just called out Lizzo for using an ableist slur—she also took on Queen B herself. And she succeeded on both fronts.
Which, once you get to know her, isn’t surprising at all.
In our Vulnerabilitea House, Hannah reflects on the questions: “How do you see yourself? Is it the same way your loved ones see you?”
Answering with incredible vulnerability, Hannah shares how her relationship with her disability has evolved over time and what it was like growing up in a world where the Paralympics seemed like the only visible marker of success.
We talk to Hannah about being a part of intimate television history, and Ryan, the love doctor, Shelton manifests a Brad (or Stewie, or Chris, or Michael-Angelo) in her future.
Hannah, we are so desperate to be your friend.
To watch this full episode on YouTube, click here: https://bit.ly/41vzALg
🫖 Imperfects episode’s mentioned in this episode
🎟️ Things to go see
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The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Today, Dr Emily talks about hope.
And in a world where things can feel a little bit hopeless, this really couldn’t have come at a better time.
In contrast to all of our understanding up until this point, hope is not an emotion.
Expertly defined by Dr Emily, hope is a belief. And most significantly, it can be learned, and it can be cultivated.
Psychological mic-drop.
This episode delves into strategies for creating both a sense of collective and individual hope, and in a discovery which happens to be VERY on-brand for this podcast, Dr Emily talks to the significance of vulnerability and connection in living a hopeful life.
We hope you enjoy this one as much as we did.
If you would like to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://bit.ly/41j0pT1
📚To pre-order Dr Emily’s book Unstuck, click here - https://bit.ly/4bhmCp2
🫖 Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode
📖 Things to read
💻Things to check out
The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Matthew Murphy, front-man of the iconic UK band The Wombats, joins us in our first VulnerabiliTea House of 2025.
In this episode, Murph answers one of life’s most terrifying questions, “In what ways do you fear you could negatively impact your children?”
He also shares his experience with panic attacks, anxiety and depression and is extremely honest detailing how alcohol became a crutch.
Becoming sober, which Murph describes as the best decision of his life, was not easy. Murph goes into detail about what the withdrawal process was like and how he began to find joy in activities again.
Murph, thank you for soundtracking our youths (and current lives), and thank you for this incredibly helpful conversation.
If you would like to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link: https://bit.ly/4i6hRRi
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Enjoyed this episode but want a little more? Good news, we have a brand new show called A Little More Imperfects over on Patreon! Visit: www.patreon.com/theimperfects
If you would like to receive a weekly Vulnerabilitea-mail newsletter, where you can answer this question yourself, click subscribe on our website www.theimperfects.com.au
The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
It’s time for Announcement Number Three! A brand-new Imperfects Live Show (!!!!!!).
That’s right, we’re going on the road again. In October, November, and December of this year (2025), we’ll be performing a brand-new stage show, around the country!
It’s gonna be bigger, it’s gonna be better, and we promise we won’t let Hugh (or Chat GPT) write the show. All responsibility will henceforth be given to Random Word Generator!
We would love and adore to see you there!
🎟️ Click here to get your tickets – https://bit.ly/3EHPYkj
If you would like to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://bit.ly/3CYoOF8
If you would like to subscribe to A Little More Imperfects, click here – www.patreon.com/theimperfects
🫖 Other Imperfects episodes mentioned
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Psychologist Maria Ruberto is back to talk about one of the most important parts of our day: sleep.
Starting off with the biology of sleep, Maria takes us through how we get to sleep, what happens when we sleep, and why we desperately need to sleep for good health and longevity. With metaphors galore to make the science as relatable as possible, we discuss the role of melatonin, the impact of screens on our suprachiasmatic nucleus and whether it’s worth cutting your sleep short to exercise?
In more practical terms, Maria shares what sleep hygiene actually looks like, and, to Hugh and Josh’s relief, how hormones released during parenthood act to buffer against sleep deprivation.
So set your sleep alarms, get comfy, and tuck yourself in for a BIG episode!
Sweet dreams x
If you would like to watch this full video on YouTub, follow this link: https://bit.ly/4htdJLj
If you’d like to subscribe to our Patreon, A Little More Imperfects, sign up here: Patreon.com/theimperfects
🫖 Other Imperfect’s episodes mentioned in this episode:
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💤 Melbourne Sleep Labs:
*please note, some of these require a referral from a GP or specialist
The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
The stoke level is pretty high this week because we are joined by three-time world champion surfer, shark attack survivor, and maybe the nicest guy we have ever met, Mick Fanning.
We had high expectations for this chat (we mean, it’s Mick Fanning), but he absolutely blew us out of the water with his humanity, compassion, empathy, and positivity in the face of incredible tragedy.
Mick, we’ll definitely take you up on that offer of a surf (and lifelong friendship).
To watch this full video on our YouTube, click here - https://bit.ly/3Er6W6g
To subscribe to A Little More Imperfects on Patreon, follow this link: Patreon.com/imperfects
To subscribe to our newsletter, The Vulnerabilitea-Mail (which includes a reflective journalling question based on this episode), follow this link: https://bit.ly/42bYguo
🎧 Things to listen to:
📺 Things to watch
⛳️Things to check out
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Well, well, well. We’re (officially) back for 2025, baby!
On Hugh’s agenda for today’s episode: nugatory chat, ghosts, general excitement for the new season and we also reveal THE SECOND BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!
That’s right, The Imperfects are bringing you a new show.
A Little More Imperfects, which can be found on Patreon, is bonus fortnightly episodes featuring everything that you know and love (Josh going deep, Ryan being hilarious and Hugh giving life changing advice / intense second hand embarrassment) PLUS early access to live show tickets and events and great discounts on our merch.
So enjoy this sneak preview, and we can’t wait for the season ahead.
If you would like to subscribe to our Patreon, follow this link - https://www.patreon.com/theimperfects
If you would like to watch this full episode on YouTube (and catch a glimpse of organised Hugh for the only time this millennia), click here - https://bit.ly/4hC4XKI
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It’s our last episode of Summer School, and today we welcome back clinical psychologist (and “clinical cousin” of Hugh and Josh), James van Cuylenburg.
In this episode, James tells us EVERYTHING we need to know about our relationships… well almost everything…there’s a lot to cover.
From attachment styles, to breaking trust, to learning how to own your feelings and navigating coupledom through life’s changing seasons.
Getting into the nitty gritty, Hugh asks James about intimacy and what happens when you’re not…. having any. And how to start a conversation with your kids about pornography.
Relationships make life worth living and whether they’re with an intimate partner, a friend, or yourself, they should be cherished and treated with care.
James, we thank you for your guidance.
If you liked this episode, and wanted to do some further reflection on it, each week our Vulnerabilitea-mail newsletter shares a question to get you thinking deeper. We’d love to hear from you, so please send your reflections in to the link provided. Subscribe here!
If you would like to watch this full episode on YouTube, click here - https://bit.ly/3WwDguJ
🎧Things to listen to
📖 Things to read
💻Things to check out
🚨If you, or someone you know, has experienced or is at risk of domestic violence or coercive control, call the 24 hour national counselling service 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732). In an emergency, or if you’re feeling unsafe, call 000.
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In this episode of our Summer School, we are joined by Sophie Walker, creator, and host of Australian Birth Stories.
With over 17 million downloads, and 500 episodes, Australian Birth Stories podcast has been accredited by the Australian College of Midwives and has been instrumental in educating and empowering both people who are giving birth, as well as birthing partners.
Hugh shares the incredible trauma and fear involved with his first experience of birth, and how tools of education and empowerment, such as Lael Stone’s excellent counselling, helped him prepared for birth a second time around.
The power of information is invaluable, and Josh opens up about how Hugh’s experience with birth shaped his own, and what the experience was like for him.
Sophie, it was such a pleasure.
To watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link: https://youtu.be/3sey26-L4Rw
🎧 Things to listen to:
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If you, or someone you know, is struggling with post-natal depression or anxiety surrounding birth, these are a few great websites we’ve found
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B b b bonus episode!
We proudly present to you My Imperfect Life: a novel journal written by you. That’s right, we’re releasing a book, but making you do all the work.
With 100 questions inspired by episodes from 2024 on The Imperfects, My Imperfect Life is an introduction to vulnerability, allowing you to unpack your own imperfect life and be more vulnerable with yourself (because we know vulnerability with others can be A LOT).
To celebrate the launch of My Imperfect Life, we are inviting you to a reverse book singing at Readings Emporium Melbourne on Friday January 31st at 5:30pm, where we want to meet you, the author (and perhaps get a photo with you too, and maybe an autograph if you’re not too busy).
🎟️ To buy a ticket to the Reverse Book Signing (which includes a copy of My Imperfect Life that you will pick up on the day), follow this link – https://bit.ly/4hh0tcl
📖 To just purchase My Imperfect Life, click here – https://www.theimperfects.com.au/shop/
📃 To become our penpal, join The VulnerabiliTea-mail, a weekly newsletter where we’ll send you one vulnerable question inspired by the current episode, to help you unpack your own imperfect life. Subscribe at theimperfects.com.au
🎧 Things to listen to
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