The Imperfects

Hugh van Cuylenburg, Ryan Shelton & Josh van Cuylenburg

We’re all imperfect. On this podcast, founder of The Resilience Project Hugh van Cuylenburg, his good friend Ryan Shelton, and only one of their brothers, Josh van Cuylenburg, talks to a variety of interesting people who vulnerably share their own struggles and imperfections, or expertly pass on their wisdom on the subject of imperfection. Whether it’s in The Vulnerabilitea House, The Academy of Imperfection, or with our very own psychologist, Dr Emily, The Imperfects are here to find some valuable takeaways we can all apply to our own imperfect lives.

  • 1 hour 21 minutes
    Michael Klim - The Race of His LIfe

    What would it feel like to have the very thing that mad you great - your body, strength and co-ordination - slowly and painfully taken away from you?

    As a swimmer, Michael Klim was on top of the world - he was literally ‘World Swimmer of the Year’. Trips to the Olympics, medals of every colour, 21 world records AND his face on the cover of a Foo Fighters Album, Michael really did have it all.

    However, in 2022 Michael was diagnosed with a life changing condition, wherein your body attacks it’s own tissue - chronic inflammatory demyelination polyneuropathy (CIDP).

    In this episode, Hugh, Ryan and Josh chat to Michael about his equally impressive life out of the pool, and how his CIDP diagnosis has taught him a lot about identity, grief and relationships.

    In 2023, Michael partnered with Australian Red Cross Lifeblood to help raise awareness for the vital role blood donation plays in not just his life, but the 1 in 3 Australians who will need blood products in their lifetime. To help recipients like Michael and countless others book a blood donation here. https://bit.ly/4c8Z6tN

    To watch the full episode on YouTube, follow this link. https://bit.ly/3RHPUoi

     

    Links mentioned in the episode and extra resources:

     

    📺 Things to watch

     

    🎧 Previous Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode:

     

    📖 Things to read

     

    ⛑️ To support

     

    🎧  Things to listen to:

     

    The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

     

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    23 June 2024, 8:00 pm
  • 1 hour 13 minutes
    Dr Emily - What Are Your Boundaries?

    Do you have boundaries? Have you ever crossed someone else’s boundaries? How would you react if someone crossed yours? It is WAY easier to ignore it. Avoiding potential conflict and awkwardness is second nature to most of us. For those of us with people-pleasing tendencies, telling someone they have violated a boundary can be an acute version of living hell.

    Luckily for us, our resident psychologist Dr. Emily is here to help us navigate what a healthy boundary looks, feels and sounds like. And why understanding, implementing and protecting heathy boundaries is good for all of us...even if it does feel a little awkward.

    Links mentioned in the episode and extra resources:

    🎧 Previous episode of The Imperfects

    📱 Things to follow

    📖 Things to read

    📺 Things to watch

    The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.
    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    16 June 2024, 8:00 pm
  • 15 minutes 25 seconds
    IMPERFIX: How Rick Davies Deals with His OCD

    Living with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is not a life sentence, as Rick Davies so eloquently tells Hugh and Josh in this episode of The Imperfix. Best known as Jimmy from the TV show 'Offspring', Rick is unbelievably vulnerable in sharing his story with OCD - from the awkward and painful compulsions, to the relief of a diagnosis at 18 years old.

    Here Rick share's how he was inspired by the trailblazing work of Penny Moodie and talks through finding peace and happiness amidst the torment.

    🎧 Things to listen to

    📖 Things to read

    • Penny’s book, The Joy Thief: How OCD steals your happiness and how to get it back - bit.ly/3x3IG6T

    The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    14 June 2024, 8:00 pm
  • 1 hour 9 minutes
    Yumi Stynes - Me and Alcohol Don’t Mix

    From being ‘canceled’, to alcoholism and post-natal depression, Yumi Stynes knows how to get vulnerable in the Vulnerabilitea House.

    Starting as a magnetic, music presenter on Channel V, Yumi’s career spans more than 20 years on our screens, on the radio, or in the very successful books she’s written. However as she shares with Hugh, Ryan and Josh, there were times when the phone simply didn't ring and her career felt like it was at a stand-still. 

    In this episode, Yumi shares stories from her childhood, from feelings of isolation; to being the victim of racism in 1980s Swan Hill; we discuss the loss of her father and how that experience shaped her perspective on life; to what it was actually like being 'cancelled' and the role friendship played in her lowest moments; above all, Yumi tells us of her struggles with alcohol, and how her decision to quit transformed her life.

    So buckle up for a big one! We know you’ll love this chat as much as we did!

    📖 Things to read

    📺 Things to watch

    ⛑️ For help & support with post natal depression

    ⛑️ For help & support with alcohol abuse

    The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

     

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    9 June 2024, 8:00 pm
  • 1 hour 8 minutes
    Billy Slater - Leading from the (Full)Back

    Unfortunately, we all know what bad leadership looks like, for many of us, it doesn’t take long to think of examples…but what does it actually take to be a ‘good leader’?

    This week in the Academy of Imperfection, Hugh, Ryan and Josh are joined by a legend of the sport, former rugby league player and current coach of the Queensland Maroons, Billy Slater. Billy has been called the best fullback ever to have played the game. As a player, he’s won more awards than we could possibly list. As a coach and a leader, he is nothing short of inspiring.

    In this episode, Billy talks about leadership, coaching and how he approaches it. He shares how playing to your strengths can actually be more beneficial than lingering on weaknesses; he discusses how sometimes, good leadership requires ‘letting go’; and he shares why he spends so much time creating feelings and moments for his players, reminding them that what they’re trying to achieve is something bigger than themselves.

    You can watch the full episode with Billy on youtube here. https://bit.ly/4c45lih

    Links mentioned in the episode and extra resources:

    📖 Things to read

    The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    2 June 2024, 8:00 pm
  • 17 minutes 25 seconds
    IMPERFIX: Dr. Em - Befriending Your Inner Critic

    How kind is your inner voice? What does it say to you when your with friends, having family dinner, at work, when you mistakes, or, when you look in the mirror?

    We all have an inner critic and for lots of us, that voice can be loud and relentless - holding us back from thriving, from living the life we want to live and being the person we want to be.

    In this episode of the IMPERFIX, we jump back into an episode with Dr Em and get up close and personal with ‘our inner critics’.

    In this snippet we explore the role of the inner critic, what’s its purpose? How can we learn to live with, and maybe even befriend it.

    To listen to this full episode with Dr. Em, follow this link: https://link.chtbl.com/Innercritic

    Links mentioned in the episode:

    📺 Things to watch

    📖 Things to read

    The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    31 May 2024, 8:00 pm
  • 1 hour 35 minutes
    Nathan Cavaleri - The Ups & The Blues

    Its hard to imagine a life more remarkable, or as unique as that of Nathan Cavaleri.

    Nathan rose to fame as an 8 year old blues prodigy, regularly appearing on Aussie TV screens in the 90’s, but there is so much more to Nathan and his story than that. Whether it’s touring Australia with the likes of Jimmy Barnes; or touring America with blues Legend B.B. King; being signed to Michael Jackson’s label; or starring in a Baywatch spin off with David Hasselhoff; Nathan’s life from the outside, really does look perfect. However, as we all know, perfect isn't what this podcast is about.

    In this episode, Nathan talks about the challenges he has faced along the way. From his battle with Leukaemia as a child; to his overwhelming struggles with anxiety as an adult that resulted in him passing out on stage. Nathan is a wonderful person, a beautiful storyteller and he’s a real joy to listen to in this episode of the imperfects.


    To watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link: https://youtu.be/9XlJBw6fdq8 

    To see Nathan perform live & check out his tour dates follow this link: https://bit.ly/3Kgqz0x

    To book Nathan for speaking events, or exclusive performances, follow this link: https://bit.ly/44Z6IN0

    To follow Nathan on Twitch, where he live streams his creative process and regularly connects with  fans, follow this link: https://bit.ly/3yqDutY

    Links mentioned in the episode and extra resources:

     

    🎧 Previous episodes of The Imperfects

     

    📺 Things to watch

     

    🎧 Things to listen to

     

    🚨 To support

     

    🛒 Things to buy

     

    The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

     

     

     

     

     

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    26 May 2024, 8:00 pm
  • 18 minutes 9 seconds
    IMPERFIX: Believing Women with Tarang Chawla

    After his sister, Niki, was murdered by her ex-partner, Tarang Chawla made a decision - that he wouldn’t allow Niki to be remembered as just another statistic. Since then, Tarang has become an activist, working to reduce incidents of all forms of violence and abuse towards women in Australian.

    In this episode of the IMPERFIX, we reflect on a conversation we had with Tarang back in 2022. Here, Tarang discusses the importance of believing and supporting women when they disclose abuse, and understanding the role of power, control, and gender inequality in such scenarios. Tarang also emphasises the need to separate individuals from their potentially abusive behaviour, underscoring the collective responsibility of men in combating violence against women.

    Here are some important links from this episode.

    🎧 Previous episodes of The Imperfects

    📱 Things to follow

    🎧 Things to listen to

    🚨 For support

    If you feel like you are in immediate danger please call 000. If you need someone to talk to we recommend calling the national 24-hour sexual assault, family and domestic violence counselling line 1800 RESPECT on 1800 732 732.

    The I
    mperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    24 May 2024, 8:00 pm
  • 58 minutes 8 seconds
    Dr Emily - The Risk of Avoiding Risk

    Taking a risk, by definition, is hard. A lot of us spend most of our life avoiding risks, under the assumption that it’s the ‘safe’ thing to do.

    As Dr Em explains, we have an evolutionary instinct for self-preservation; tendencies to overestimate danger and underestimate our ability to cope; and we often have early childhood experiences and messages around safety that can coalesce into ‘playing it safe’ behaviours.

    In this episode, Dr Em reveals that paradoxically, if we spend our whole life avoiding risk, then we are guaranteeing a less engaged, less fulfilling, less ‘lived’ life than we are capable of. That in fact, avoiding risk, is the biggest risk of all.

    Dr Em, also offers strategies to guide us in the direction of letting a little more risk into our everyday lives.

    To watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link: https://bit.ly/4dMUP0l

    There is a lot mentioned in this episode, find it all below:

     

    🎧 Previous episodes of The Imperfects

    📺 Things to watch

    🎧 Things to listen to

    📖 Things to read

    🛒 Things to buy

    The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    19 May 2024, 8:00 pm
  • 10 minutes 57 seconds
    IMPERFIX: Dr. Kiran Martin - Leadership

    We mean no disrespect to any of our other guests, but when Hugh says that Dr. Kiran Martin, is the most impressive person he has ever met, it’s hard not to agree.

    Dr. Kiran Martin is the founder of ASHA in India. It’s a not for profit, that for over 35 years, has provided healthcare and education to millions of people living in slums in India.

    In this clip, Dr Kiran tells us of the time she decided to wash the feet of a Dalit woman (an ‘untouchable’ in the caste system of India) in order to demonstrate humility. And it was this moment of true leadership that lead to a feet washing movement throughout ASHA, breaking down caste barriers in the process.

    You can learn more, or support Dr. Kiran Martin and ASHA’s work here. https://bit.ly/44Fl1WP.

    To listen to the full episode with Dr. Kiran Martin, click here https://link.chtbl.com/OjRxhECI

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    17 May 2024, 8:00 pm
  • 1 hour 11 minutes
    Reece Conca - Tackling Male Infertility

    All too often when talking about infertility, we only tell one side of the story. Traditionally in the public discourse, it has very much fallen into the category of a ‘women’s issue’. However, as our guest this week Reece Conca can all too painfully attest, 40% of infertility issues are actually male factor related.

    Reece Conca is a former Australian Rules Footballer, who played over 150 games for Richmond and Freemantle.

    When Reece and his partner Bell were finding it difficult to conceive, it took them far too long to discover that Reece has a condition called Azoospermia, which effects 1% of men - a condition where in Reece had no sperm in his semen.

    In this Vulnerabiltea House, Reece speaks openly and honestly about the physical and emotional toll of a fertility journey he is very much still on, the hormone injections, the surgeries and much, much more. 

    To follow Annabelle and Reece on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@annabelleandreece

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    12 May 2024, 8:00 pm
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