Communication in marriage breaks down when one partner can't open up - and often, it's the men who struggle most with vulnerability. In this practical, tool-filled conversation, Christa sits down with couples therapist Shane Birkel, a Type 7 and certified Relational Life Therapist who worked closely with Terry Real as his mentor. Shane is the host of Couples Therapy for Parents podcast and has been featured in Men's Health, Cosmopolitan, USA Today, and The New York Times. In this 7-7 pairing conversation, they do a deep dive into how men can actually open up in marriage and what their partners can do to help. Shane breaks down the speaker-listener technique - a research-backed communication tool that creates safety for hard conversations and helps men access and articulate their emotions. Learn why men shut down emotionally, how to explore patterns you may not even be aware of, and practical steps to help your husband (or yourself) begin to have more control of emotions and feel excited about the relationship again with the speaker-listener technique. Whether you're a man who knows you need to open up more or a partner exhausted from trying to connect, this episode delivers actionable marriage tips you can use tonight. Shane's RLT training and practical wisdom make this a must-listen for anyone who wants better communication in their marriage. Watch on YouTube!

Find and follow Shane on his website here: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Listen to the Couples Therapist Couch pod w/Shane right here: https://podcasts.apple.com/mu/podcast/the-couples-therapist-couch/id1281853816

Follow Shane on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/shanebirkel/?hl=en

Follow Shane on TikTok here: https://www.tiktok.com/@shanebirkel?lang=en

Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Leave Christa a podcast question anonymously by sending an MP4 recording to [email protected].

Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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What was wounded in relationship needs to heal in relationship. In this powerful conversation, Christa sits down with licensed psychotherapist and attachment expert Jessica Baum, author of the new book "Safe: An Attachment-Informed Guide to Building Secure Relationships," to explore why anxious attachment can't be healed in isolationm and what to do instead. Jessica reveals how implicit memories from childhood live in our bodies and change our felt sense in the world. Maybe a parent, teacher, or friend made you feel a certain way, and your body created protective spaces to keep you safe. Now, when your partner echoes that old wound, your nervous system reacts before your mind can catch up. Learn how healing happens through empathy, co-regulation, and anchoring relationships with safe people who can help you hold what you've been carrying alone. Discover what co-regulation actually looks like, why the earlier the wound the more relational support you need, and how to create secure attachment in your marriage even if you didn't have it growing up. Jessica's book includes exercises that help you regulate as you read, making it a healing companion for anyone ready to move from anxious patterns to secure connection. You can't do this work alone, and you don't have to.

Get the book here! https://www.amazon.com/Safe-Attachment-Informed-Building-Secure-Relationships/dp/0593850815

Get the somatic meditation and other gifts along with your purchase! https://jessicabaumlmhc.com/interview

More show links:

⁠Use this brief form to tell us more of what you'd like to hear and see on the pod in our E + M Pod survey!⁠ https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSc3QManM8zj6ODWSOAM3BdDLoLh-A4AzUO3zXu5xGq6bjUgsg/viewform?usp=header

Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Leave Christa a podcast question anonymously by sending an MP4 recording to [email protected].

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You don't just marry your spouse, you marry into their family. And if you've ever felt trapped in a toxic cycle with your mother-in-law or other family members, doomed to feel like either a victim or a villain no matter what you do, this episode is for you. Join Christa as she sits down with Type 3 clinical psychologist and couples therapist Dr. Tracy Dalgleish, author of the brand new book already heralded a best seller even before official launch tomorrow, "You, Your Husband, and His Mother: Create a Healthy Relationship with Your Mother-in-Law – and Your Spouse – in Five Simple Steps." Dr. Tracy introduces the most comprehensive method to date, her tried-and-true VAULT method to help couples break unhealthy patterns, set boundaries, and resolve conflicts with their mothers-in-law for a stronger marriage and happier life. Learn how to identify what type of MIL you have, develop mutual respect for boundaries, and most importantly, feel like you're on the same team with your partner and the larger family. Women, if your mother-in-law is overbearing, critical, or emotionally distant, this conversation will help you reclaim your power, strengthen your relationship, and solve your in-law problems once and for all. While Dr. Tracy's book focuses on women and their mothers-in-law, these principles apply to all in-law relationships. Men - listen to understand your spouse's experience AND to apply these boundary-setting strategies to your own in-law dynamics as well as you too find peace in the home and with those you love so dearly. Watch on YouTube!

Get Dr. Tracy's brand new book just for you here! https://a.co/d/9K7h1jB

Follow Dr. Tracy's practical tips (and she and her type 9 hubby model it for us) here: https://www.instagram.com/drtracyd/?hl=en

Get on Dr. Tracy's mailing list on her website here! https://drtracyd.com/

More show links:

Use this brief form to tell us more of what you'd like to hear and see on the pod in our E + M Pod survey! https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSc3QManM8zj6ODWSOAM3BdDLoLh-A4AzUO3zXu5xGq6bjUgsg/viewform?usp=header

Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Leave Christa a podcast question anonymously by sending an MP4 recording to [email protected].

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Get ready for a 1980s blast from the past twist on The Enneagram and Marriage Podcast this spooky season! In this family-friendly special episode, Christa welcomes two very special guests making their podcast debut: her nephew Lucas Wilson and son Jack Hardin, representing Gen Alpha, along with Gen Z E+M Certified Coaches Melody Hardin, 9 and Gen X Abigail Perry, 3. Together, they dive into typing beloved Stranger Things characters, predictors for the next season, and fave characters including Lucas Sinclair, Dustin Henderson, Joyce Byers, Jim Hopper, and more, just in time for the final season. This fun, intergenerational conversation explores how personality shapes heroism, friendship, courageous parenting, and love in the Upside Down,. Whether you're a die-hard Stranger Things fan eagerly awaiting the final season or just love a good fun-hearted family convo, this E+M Spooky Season Special brings the laughs, the insights, and maybe even a few jump scares. Perfect for a lighthearted listen! Watch on YouTube!

More show links:

Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Leave Christa a podcast question anonymously by sending an MP4 recording to [email protected].

Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Join Christa and author Erica Liganza Gwynn (3-8 pairing) for an honest conversation about the lies we believe and how they affect us and our marriages. Erica, author of "That's Just Not True: How to Replace the Lies You Didn't Know You Believed with God's Unchanging Truth" (brand new release!) and host of the Thrive Podcast, shares practical wisdom for those of us hustling and juggling multiple roles without losing ourselves in the process. This episode tackles the most common lies we can believe about themselves and how these lies show up in work, parenting, life, and of course, marriage, plus we learn about Erica's best hacks for showing up when your heart is heavy but life still demands your presence. Pay close attention to how, as a pragmatic Type 3, she has learned to not overly expect from herself or others in the middle marriage season, this insight alone is worth the listen, but there's so much more! Learn how to detect God's truth in the middle of chaos, navigate rest and ambition without becoming a "human doing," and discover practical tools for replacing lies with truth. Perfect for anyone who needs encouragement to keep going when emotions are hard and the demands are high. Listen here! Watch on YouTube!

Erica's new book, "That's Just Not True: How to Replace the Lies You Didn't Know You Believed with God's Unchanging Truth" is right here! https://a.co/d/6Gujfnz

Erica's Instagram is here! https://www.instagram.com/ericaligenza/?hl=en

Erica's Thrive podcast is here! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/thrive-podcast/id1480400869

More show links:

Our Boo Sale: Use code BOO30 here for 30% off pairing guides, the 52-week planner, and more here! www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Leave Christa a podcast question anonymously by sending an MP4 recording to [email protected].

Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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In this October special, Christa sits down with Type 4 author Sarah Skilton (pen name Hadley Hartwell) to explore the intersection of the Enneagram and motives, namely using the Enneagram to solve a mystery. Sarah has been studying the Enneagram since 1998 and brings that depth and careful study to her debut novel "One Is the Deadliest Number," which kicks off a nine-book series - one for each type. They discuss what it's like for a Four to write from a Type One perspective, how Sarah's 4-6 marriage informs her understanding of different personality dynamics, and why Miss Marple's knowledge of human nature is essentially Enneagram wisdom in action. Most importantly, they explore what happens when people don't do their inner work - and how recognizing the warning signs in ourselves and our loved ones can prevent our worst from coming out. Whether you're a mystery lover, an Enneagram enthusiast, or simply curious about human nature, this episode offers fresh insights into why understanding personality types matters for relationships and life.

GIVEAWAY: Sarah is giving away 9 copies of her book "One Is the Loneliest Number" - one for each Enneagram type! The first person to email from each type wins. Plus, the very first person to write in will be our grand prize winner and receive the book, a Supper Sleuths mystery dinner game, AND a couples Enneagram pairing guide.

❤️❤️❤️ To Enter the Contest: Email [email protected] (or reply if you're on our newsletter) with your Enneagram type and your favorite mystery book, movie, or show!

• Link to Sarah's book "One Is the Deadliest Number: A Personality Types Mystery" - https://a.co/d/2uX8oFV
• CONTEST: SHARE YOUR TYPE AND FAVORITE MYSTERY SHOW OR MOVIE HERE! https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/contact-us
• Link to Sarah's website here: https://www.purrsandpersonalitytypes.com/
• Another way to enter contest: [email protected]
• Supper Sleuths mystery dinner games: suppersleuths.com Use code HALLOWEEN30 for 30% off any game this week through Oct 29

More show links:

The EnneaSummit on MidLife and Beyond is here! Sign up free ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or for ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠the upgraded plan here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠: https://www.tylerzach.com/midlife/enneasummit?ref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tylerzach.com%2Fa%2F2148178305%2FLS2nNmzL

Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Leave Christa a podcast question anonymously by sending an MP4 recording to [email protected].

Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Join Christa for a powerful conversation with author Alexandra Hudson about her new book "You Can Let Go: Make Peace with Your Past, Break Free from Offense, and Move Forward with God." Alexandra, an Enneagram 8, shares her journey of learning to release offense and bitterness, even when the hurt was real and justified. This deep conversation explores how holding onto offense keeps us stuck, why forgiveness is more about God's offering to us and for our freedom than excusing others' behavior, and practical steps for making peace with your past so you can move forward in your relationships. Alexandra offers wisdom for couples navigating past hurts, family betrayals, and ongoing tensions, showing how letting go isn't weakness but the path to true strength and peace. Perfect for anyone carrying the weight of unresolved offense or struggling to move forward after betrayal or disappointment. Watch on YouTube!

Get Alexandra's book here! https://a.co/d/9K1Mdde

Find Alexandra on her website here! (Pre-order bonuses today only!)

Find Alexandra on her Instagram here! https://www.instagram.com/p/DOqlTUJEflP/

More show links:

The EnneaSummit on MidLife and Beyond is here! Sign up free ⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠ or for ⁠⁠⁠⁠the upgraded plan here⁠⁠⁠⁠: https://www.tylerzach.com/midlife/enneasummit?ref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tylerzach.com%2Fa%2F2148178305%2FLS2nNmzL

Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Leave Christa a podcast question anonymously by sending an MP4 recording to [email protected].

Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Join Christa and marriage coach Michelle Purta for an essential conversation about nonviolent communication and rediscovering joy in marriage. Michelle, an Enneagram 2 married to a 5, shares her journey from relationships filled with more arguing than connecting to building the marriage she has today. She teaches the PEACE Method along with practical skills for communicating needs without blame, fighting in ways that strengthen rather than tear apart your relationship, and how different Enneagram types (especially the Helper married to the Investigator) can navigate conflict with compassion. Michelle unpacks nonviolent communication principles and how they transform everyday interactions, helping moms move from resentment and burnout to genuine connection. Perfect for anyone who wants to learn how to express needs, handle conflict constructively, and create a marriage filled with more tears of happiness than frustration. Watch on YouTube!

Follow Michelle at these links:

Find Michelle on her website here! https://www.michellepurta.com/

Find Michelle on her Instagram here! https://www.instagram.com/michellepurtacoaching/?hl=en

Find Michelle at The Marriage and Motherhood Podcast here! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-marriage-motherhood-podcast/id1616955820

Take the Enneagram & Marriage Podcast survey here!

More show links:

The EnneaSummit on MidLife and Beyond is here! Sign up free ⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠ or for ⁠⁠⁠the upgraded plan here⁠⁠⁠: https://www.tylerzach.com/midlife/enneasummit?ref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tylerzach.com%2Fa%2F2148178305%2FLS2nNmzL

Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Leave Christa a podcast question anonymously by sending an MP4 recording to [email protected].

Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Join Christa and Melody for a fun, insightful conversation about Taylor Swift's "The Life of a Showgirl" album and what it teaches us about celebrating joy in relationships. Inspired by Taylor's New Heights podcast appearance and her approach to happiness with cautious discretion, Christa and Melody go track-by-track through the album, exploring themes of authenticity. and growth in the ways of love. They discuss the Enneagram's role in how different types respond to their spouse's joy, the courage it takes to be genuinely happy publicly, and why the best marriages have space for both partners to reach new heights. Perfect for Taylor Swift fans, Enneagram enthusiasts, and anyone wanting to build a relationship that celebrates growth rather than fears it. Watch on YouTube here!

If you want a deeper dive into this album, check out this series that Mara Eller, Type 4 (4-7 pairing) is doing. She’s been teaching literature and writing at the high school and college level for over 16 years, and now she’s doing a literary analysis of TLOAS as if it’s a novel, going deep into each song in context of the album as a whole. You can find it on TikTok, Instagram, or Threads, and very soon it will also be a podcast: LIT112 — The Life of a Showgirl.

Find her here!

 https://www.instagram.com/mara.eller/

https://www.tiktok.com/@maraellerwriter

https://www.threads.com/@mara.eller

The EnneaSummit on MidLife and Beyond is here! Sign up free ⁠⁠here⁠⁠ or for ⁠⁠the upgraded plan here⁠⁠: https://www.tylerzach.com/midlife/enneasummit?ref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tylerzach.com%2Fa%2F2148178305%2FLS2nNmzL

Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Leave Christa a podcast question anonymously by sending an MP4 recording to [email protected].

Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Ever share a vulnerable request with your spouse and get nothing back? Feel like you’re the only one initiating, planning, or keeping the spark alive? In this midweek mini, we explore the exhausting dynamic of “auditioning” in relationships - whether with partners, friends, or family. Learn how your Enneagram type and instinctual variant create different relationship needs, why anxious attachment patterns and a strong sexual instinct can make us work overtime for connection. We also share practical tips for protecting your energy without shutting down and without overwhelming your partner. If you've ever felt like you’re performing for connection rather than experiencing it, this episode is for you! Watch on YouTube!

The wonderful and inspiring Soul on Fire Movie airs this weekend with some of our E + M community as extras and friends of those in the true story! Award winning cast and great message! ⁠Check it out here!⁠ ⁠https://soulonfiremovie.com/⁠

The EnneaSummit on MidLife and Beyond is here! Sign up free ⁠here⁠ or for ⁠the upgraded plan here⁠: https://www.tylerzach.com/midlife/enneasummit?ref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tylerzach.com%2Fa%2F2148178305%2FLS2nNmzL

Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Leave Christa a podcast question anonymously by sending an MP4 recording to [email protected].

Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Do you feel like this world is spinning out of control and taking your marriage and/or family with it? We've been talking about how to balance our family at a healthier pace lately on the pod and today we're so happy to have the highly influential couple, The Whole of Us, Kelsey and Tom Wauchope of Australia (1-4 pairing) help us process how to do just that. From the vulnerable space of sharing their own story of burnout and anger at one another (and the hero victim saga we can get wrapped up in) to peace and deep love to the work they're doing with others, this is one episode you don't want to miss for anything! Watch on YouTube here!

Meet Kelsey and Tom on their website here! https://thewholeofus.com/

Meet Kelsey, Tom, and their family journey over the world on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/thewholeofus/?hl=en

The wonderful and inspiring Soul on Fire Movie airs this weekend with some of our E + M community as extras and friends of those in the true story! Award winning cast and great message! Check it out here! https://soulonfiremovie.com/

The EnneaSummit on MidLife and Beyond is here! Sign up free here or for the upgraded plan here: https://www.tylerzach.com/midlife/enneasummit?ref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tylerzach.com%2Fa%2F2148178305%2FLS2nNmzL

Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Leave Christa a podcast question anonymously by sending an MP4 recording to [email protected].

Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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