What’s the only way to spend Halloween? It’s having a spoooooky intimate bum procedure of course! So John's dressed as a spoooky ghost in a bed sheet. (He's in bed as he recovers). There’s no way he was to be knocking on the doors of rural Bucks to fill his pumpkin bucket with Chomps and Refreshers when he’s got an ice pack strapped to his behind. So it's prone podcasting at its finest.

While our backside hero recovers, it’s Elis’s job to do the heavy lifting - i.e. read the emails. But right now, really it's you doing the lifting. From Golden Age Mad Dads to Timberland tales, you're doing more incredible lifting than Lasha Talakhadze (+102kg Men 2024 Olympic Champion).

If you want to throw anything into the mix for the boys to use on the show then it’s [email protected]. Or if you’re young enough to not know ‘The Fonz’ then it’s 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp.

Are you listening on BBC Sounds? If not then you’re missing out on the chance to switch, with the tap of a finger, to Matt Chorley eating a flan whilst interviewing The Education Secretary on 5 Live. So listen there!

Bye Bye Mr Audio, Hello Mr Saturday Night! There are rumours that Saturday night TV is dead. That it just doesn't bring in the eyeballs that Bowen, Black and Forsyth once did and the cash well is drying up. But with five kids between them and the prospect of John’s fixed rate mortgage expiring at an unstated date, that’s still enough cash to entice the ever well oiled ideas machine into life.

Whether ‘Mr Saturday Night’ or ‘Dave & Dave’s Sexy Show’ would pull in millions is one question. Another question is easier to answer: would a BBC commissioner dashing their shiny floor dreams LIVE be box office listening? Yes, yes it would.

Aside from dreams of gunge, interviewing pets and the big time there’s some heavy hitting moments: an aurally unique Made Up Game, the Cymru Connection’s own VAR moment and potentially the ultimate Petty Parliament.

It’s all best experienced on the BBC Sounds app where if you tire of this vapid content you can easily switch to the stoicism of Radio 4’s The World At One with the tap of a thumb. You can’t do that on any other app.

If you’re of the post-S-Club generation then 07974 293 022 is the WhatsApp. For anyone older it’s [email protected].

Drink in it folks, we’re living in a new golden age. That’s right, the lesser talked about field of alpinism has reached new heights, a new zenith. And there’s one man to thank: Mr John Robins.

Johnny JR’s record-breaking successful scale of the Matterhorn with his eyes (a feat previously thought impossible) is picked over in detail, as is his expensive alpine driving, and his holiday eating habits: lots of pasta, double pizzas. Have we unearthed the new Michael Palin?

Among the usual japes - including elite mad daddery, more nightclub attire chat, and a journey from the bap to the barm via the butty - the boys also ordain a new youth oriented corner of the podcast. Slay.

Keep your top level correspondence coming in to us at [email protected], or if you’re of slay age, WhatsAppp the show on 07974 293022.

Jekyll and Hyde isn’t a work of fiction. Nor is James McAvoy in hit film Split. No. If you were to venture down the B and C roads of mainland Wales the past few weeks you’ll have seen something far more surprising: Welsh Elis and English Elis.

For there’s an astonishing revelation of the West Walian comic once thought of as polite and mild-mannered. James’ alternative persona is coming to a Welsh theatre near you and be prepared for an attitude that will shock. As well as the mental there's also time for analysis of the physical side of the game, as the boys dig into the sudden born to bench trend of the UK funny man.

There’s also a national infrastructure halting Shame, and there’s an inspirational Made Up Game sure to generate merch revenues that could pay for Tim Davie’s Calippo bill for at least the next financial quarter. All this despite an initial lack of confidence in the gameplay. Because it wouldn’t be Elis and John if they didn’t trash a game before passing it with flying colours. Trust. The. Process.

If you aren’t already listening to the show on the universe leading BBC Sounds app then you better swear on Adrian’s life that you’ll sort that very this instant.

To get in touch with everything from sex club chat to your own genre-pushing Made Up Games it’s [email protected] on electronic mail, and 07974 293 022.

What do we all do before going on holiday? Check we have our Big Three (keys, boarding pass, passport), worry about whether the place has a washing machine, and write up a draft will. It’s the classic Robins pre-holiday triumvirate.

Yes, Johnny JR is off on his holidays to climb the Matterhorn with his eyes. And boy does he have a spring in his step!

Alongside holiday chat, we witness the birth of a new event: The Elis and John Decathlon. Jessica Ennis-Hill and Daley Thompson watch out, two digital podcast-first DJs are coming for you.

And don’t for one second think this podcast doesn’t contain excellent mad daddery, top listener correspondence and chat about the world’s favourite app BBC Sounds.

Keep all your bits coming in to [email protected], or WhatsApp the show on 07974 293 022.

When one thinks of the great socialisers ‘John’ and ‘Robins’ are two words that don’t immediately spring to mind. But are we seeing a transformation in a week that sees John enter 1920s socialite levels of social butterflyery. From partying in Brixton and currying with top business folk, to watching Tom Rosenthal get fitted for golf clubs for four hours on a Tuesday, is there nothing this man can’t do to fill his busy schedule?

Beyond John’s Big Social Week we throw open the doors to one of the great friends and PCDs of the show, Ania Magliano, who brings an extraordinary tale of her own mad father.

Also, if you aren’t already listening on BBC Sounds, then what on God’s green earth are you doing? For all the other platforms’ merits, do they have direct inject access to live radio on digital tap? No!

If you want to contact the show then, if we haven’t already told you it enough then [email protected] is the electronic mail, and 07974 293 022 the WhatsApp number.

Wheel the to 1:50 scale Maine Road birthday cake out, Producer Dave is turning 40!

George Orwell posited that 1984 would be a year of bleak dystopian nightmares. In reality it spawned Lionel Richie’s ‘Hello’, the film Ghostbusters and Stockport's finest podcast-first producer, Dave Masterman. Eat that, Orwell.

So it’s time to celebrate in the only way Dave knows how: with a bucket of coleslaw, an overly priced toastie, a trip to the local omnipotent bar chain and an hour of podcasting fun. We hear from an array of friends from his past including some Mancunian acquaintances…

Away from the birthday fun we get more insights into the secrets of sex clubs - John, fully clothed, has his notebook at the ready - and we all go a bit chippy mad.

Make Producer Dave’s 41st year his best yet by continuing to send in your top quality correspondence to [email protected] and 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp.

And remember to keep it locked on BBC Sounds.

It's all about heights today, as despite scaling the lofty heights of the digital UK audio comedy chat rock face, Elis is still uncomfortable when confronted by a modicum of verticality. But not the case for John who is going to push his own ocular mountaineering boundaries.

Elsewhere there’s dinner dates, Welsh heart rates and service stations potentially located on J8. Oh and there’s an unexpected detour into sex clubs.

If you're under 40 and therefore apparently know about sex clubs then John, entering his sex club year, would very much like to hear it. [email protected] and 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp.

But no filth please, because unlike rival shows this is not a sex podcast!

After the wave of excitement around Mr Audio’s new Welsh podcast project 'Welsh Rarebit: Grilled by Elis James', it’s time for John to enter the lucrative side-hustle podcast game. Step forward 'Trauma on The Tee with John Robins'. If deep emotional conversations and the latest bunker wedges are your thing, keep your ears peeled.

But here on this podcast, featuring two of the country’s brightest and best comedians, it’s actually Producer Dave who comes up with the best quip of the episode. Ring that good podcasting bell!

Keep sending us your memos, missives and scribblings. All to [email protected]. Or if you’re super modern you can WhatsApp the show on 07974 293 022.

And make sure to listen on the world’s most intuitive app: BBC Sounds.

Elis and John have been on journeys this week, both metaphorically and literally. Yes we cover their travel woes as the pair journeyed back from Wales (Elis sustained by Aberystwyth goodwill, John driven by the need to forge his own path), but we also cover the spiritual journeys undertaken in the realms of teeth whitening, shoe laces, and slug juice.

Aside from all the journeying there’s a new character introduced to the mix, a desperate attempt from Elis to avoid the hat trick of failures in the Cymru Connection, and a belter of a Made Up Game.

Keep your tiptop emails and WhatsApps coming in to [email protected] and 07974 293 022 respectively. And make sure you’re listening on the world’s favourite app: BBC Sounds.

It’s happened. Elis and John have turned into crypto bros. This is now a crypto pod. It was only a matter of time…

But worry not, it’s only a fleeting transformation, and after some serious reflections the boys are back doing what they do best: discussing how to approach an all-you-can-eat buffet, wading further into the dried fruits vs sweets debate, and questioning the coolness of marshmallows.

John reflects on yet another successful golfing trip, and Elis delivers his latest hot take on popcorn. It’s vintage stuff.

If this show were an old steam train, then your correspondence would be the steam. We need it to keep the wheels running. Send it to [email protected], or get in touch via WhatsApp on 07974 293 022.

And remember that the greatest track upon which to listen to the show (if it were still an old steam train) would be the trusty tracks of BBC Sounds.