HAMMERCRAWL!

N. Phillip Cole

Do you love violently plundering dungeons of their treasure, but tire of all that "surviving" and "actually living to see another day" crap that other games are full of? Do you long for a good old meat grinder like ol' Pappy ran Way Back When(TM)? Do you find more joy in looting the bodies of your fallen companions than actually defeating monsters? Do you have a deep, passionate love for save-or-die traps like Murder Ceilings, Lava Parties, Guillotine Helmets, and Goblin Bombs? Well then my friend, HAMMERCRAWL! is just what you need!

  • 2 hours 34 minutes
    Ep030: Dungeon Full of Monsters Part 3: Definitely Cat Magic

    WOO HOO, NATALIE IS BACK! We missed her greatly, and are super extra ULTRA DRAGON PUNCH EDITION* happy to have her join us again for HAMMERCRAWL! This episode is our third recording session of the ongoing new DUNGEON FULL OF MONSTERS! In this installment of the adventures of THE CRIMSON THORNS, we learn that feline mysteries are afoot, indeed. A new party member joins the crew after a brief visit back to town, and the party gets there, aha, fingers in more than one Chaos Pie...

    Oh yeah: do you like mimes? I hope you like mimes. This episode's got mimes, miming mightily.

    * The one with the pre-order bonus of an alternate hide color for Vovine the Bovine, of course.

    Drop us a line! You can follow us on Twitter and Instagram as "Breakfastpuppy" or email NPC directly as NPC at Breakfastpuppies dot com. We have a Discord Channel and a Facebook Page, too! And let us know your thoughts by leaving a review on iTunes! For even more info and options, check out our main website or our new low-bandwidth alternative feed site.

    Links of Note:

    Credits:

    • HAMMERSMITH: NPC
    • Players: Lady Coquine as "Pepper Graveworm," Scott as "Roland Cockfinger," The Mad Marquis as "Arthictor," Kylee as "Inky Kowalski", Natalie as "Brienne McKnight"
    • Group Name: The Crimson Thorns
    • Dungeon: Skull Mountain (The Dungeon Full of Monsters)
    • Theme Song: "Chain Lightning" by Gygax
    • Additional Music by: Erang - Featured song A Majestic Shadow
    • Game Rules: Available for free on Github!
    • Daily Wisdom: Just fill that clam with some chaos kombucha, throw in a severed chaos leg, and hope for the best!

    Episode Length: 02:34:01 (we support Chapter Marks!)

    Want to throw us a tip? Every little bit helps pay the bills! Check us out on Patreon, or instead just follow this link to our Pinecast Tip Jar!

    Send us your feedback online: https://pinecast.com/feedback/hammercrawl/ced2cc2a-fb4f-4582-a6f5-97893c65ddaa

    This podcast is powered by Pinecast.

    16 September 2019, 11:00 pm
  • 2 hours 37 minutes
    Ep029: Dungeon Full of Monsters Part 2: Two Mollusks and a Dwarf

    Our special new extended campaign continues with its second session, here on the HAMMERCRAWL! comedic dungeon crawl podcast! While our process is usually 100% generated on the fly through a mix of improv and quick-draw cards, for this campaign we're using the wonderful DUNGEON FULL OF MONSTERS (by Johnstone Metzger) as the underlying dungeon into which our probably-doomed adventurers are delving. Will Spandrel's will bring order to this chaotic cesspit of evil? Will anyone manage to escape with their limbs intact? Tune in and find out!

    Drop us a line! You can follow us on Twitter and Instagram as "Breakfastpuppy" or email NPC directly as NPC at Breakfastpuppies dot com. We have a Discord Channel and a Facebook Page, too! And let us know your thoughts by leaving a review on iTunes! For even more info and options, check out our main website or our new low-bandwidth alternative feed site.

    Links of Note:

    Credits:

    • HAMMERSMITH: NPC
    • Players: Lady Coquine as "Pepper Graveworm," Scott as "Roland Cockfinger," The Mad Marquis as "Arthictor," Kylee as "Inky Kowalski"
    • Group Name: The Crimson Thorns
    • Dungeon: Skull Mountain (The Dungeon Full of Monsters)
    • Theme Song: "Chain Lightning" by Gygax
    • Additional Music by: Erang - Featured song A Majestic Shadow
    • Game Rules: Available for free on Github!
    • Daily Wisdom: When confronted with a pool of shimmering dungeon LSD, you drink that shit.

    Episode Length: 02:37:17 (we support Chapter Marks!)

    Want to throw us a tip? Every little bit helps pay the bills! Check us out on Patreon, or instead just follow this link to our Pinecast Tip Jar!

    Send us your feedback online: https://pinecast.com/feedback/hammercrawl/8301cf76-4182-481f-a9f2-d1a1373f3b98

    This podcast is powered by Pinecast.

    9 September 2019, 11:00 pm
  • 2 hours 33 minutes
    Ep028: Dungeon Full of Monsters Part 1: That Garlic-Flesh Smell

    Welcome to the beginning of a whole new adventure on the HAMMERCRAWL! comedic dungeon crawl podcast! As always, every aspect of our play is randomly generated via a mix of random tables, inspirational cards, and pure unfiltered improvisation. This time, however, we're changing things up a bit by taking a stab at an actual published dungeon: the excellent DUNGEON FULL OF MONSTERS by Johnstone Metzger! This dungeon is a perfect component for HAMMERCRAWL!-style gaming, as the entire structure and flow of it is driven by its own random tables, right down to how the very dungeon rooms are assembled.

    Starting with this episode we're also switching to a full-session release format. This means each episode will encapsulate an entire play session, resulting in longer episodes that listeners can digest at their own leisure. The files are a tad longer, and the releases will be spaced out by a couple of weeks as a result.

    Anyway, we have an excellent cast of players once again, and hope you enjoy listening to our chaotic adventures as much as we enjoyed rolling them!

    Drop us a line! You can follow us on Twitter and Instagram as "Breakfastpuppy" or email NPC directly as NPC at Breakfastpuppies dot com. We have a Discord Channel and a Facebook Page, too! And let us know your thoughts by leaving a review on iTunes! For even more info and options, check out our main website or our new low-bandwidth alternative feed site.

    Links of Note:

    Credits:

    • HAMMERSMITH: NPC
    • Players: Lady Coquine as "Pepper Graveworm," Scott as "Roland Cockfinger," The Mad Marquis as "Arthictor," Kylee as "Inky Kowalski"
    • Group Name: The Crimson Thorns
    • Dungeon: Skull Mountain (The Dungeon Full of Monsters)
    • Theme Song: "Chain Lightning" by Gygax
    • Additional Music by: Erang - Featured song A Majestic Shadow
    • Game Rules: Available for free on Github!
    • Daily Wisdom: With a shovel and a dwarf, you pretty much know where you are at any time.

    Episode Length: 02:33:43 (we support Chapter Marks!)

    Want to throw us a tip? Every little bit helps pay the bills! Check us out on Patreon, or instead just follow this link to our Pinecast Tip Jar!

    Send us your feedback online: https://pinecast.com/feedback/hammercrawl/f7ca265e-dcdc-4ae9-88f4-037b1b0dcc01

    This podcast is powered by Pinecast.

    15 August 2019, 8:52 pm
  • 30 minutes 6 seconds
    Ep027: Gamestorm 2019 Part 3: Feelings are Healthy

    The Gamestorm 2019 live event recording now concludes in the third and final part of this saga. This three-parter was recorded at the Gamestorm convention this past March, right here in Portland, Oregon. As with all of our convention and one-shot gaming events, this game was played "hot seat" style, with new players rotating in every time a party member died in the dungeon. It's always a roaring good time, and this event was no exception! So we hope you enjoy yet another delve into the randomly-generated insanity of HAMMERCRAWL!

    Drop us a line! You can follow us on Twitter and Instagram as "Breakfastpuppy" or email NPC directly as NPC at Breakfastpuppies dot com. We have a Discord Channel and a Facebook Page, too! And let us know your thoughts by leaving a review on iTunes! For even more info and options, check out our main website or our new low-bandwidth alternative feed site.

    Links of Note:

    Credits:

    • HAMMERSMITH: NPC
    • Players: Sara McNaughton as "Belinda Carbuckle", Aaron Bowman as "Alousicious Wrinklesnort Esq. III", Matt Buckley as "Missy", Rodney as "Bellatronixx the Magna-Focused", Tom as "Odell Lourapple", Paula as "All Might", Brandon as "Honko the Glorious", Dan as "Shanghai Sally", and Tyson as "Helga Cruciform"
    • Group Name: The Fangs of Hodeitsir
    • Dungeon: The Dungeon of Democratic Necromancy
    • Theme Song: "Chain Lightning" by Gygax
    • Additional Music by: Erang - Featured song A Majestic Shadow
    • Game Rules: Available for free on Github!
    • Daily Wisdom: When both of the berzerkers in your party get that red-eyed stare, it's time to run far, far away...

    Episode Length: 30:07 (we support Chapter Marks!)

    Want to throw us a tip? Every little bit helps pay the bills! Check us out on Patreon, or instead just follow this link to our Pinecast Tip Jar!

    Send us your feedback online: https://pinecast.com/feedback/hammercrawl/db555cd4-dbe3-4630-b657-a9cd0e40266d

    This podcast is powered by Pinecast.

    5 August 2019, 2:10 am
  • 54 minutes 29 seconds
    Ep026: Gamestorm 2019 Part 2: The Bone Golem Hates Cats

    The Gamestorm 2019 live event recording continues in part two! This three-parter was recorded at the Gamestorm convention this past March, right here in Portland, Oregon. As with all of our convention and one-shot gaming events, this game was played "hot seat" style, with new players rotating in every time a party member died in the dungeon. It's always a roaring good time, and this event was no exception! So we hope you enjoy yet another delve into the randomly-generated insanity of HAMMERCRAWL!

    Drop us a line! You can follow us on Twitter and Instagram as "Breakfastpuppy" or email NPC directly as NPC at Breakfastpuppies dot com. We have a Discord Channel and a Facebook Page, too! And let us know your thoughts by leaving a review on iTunes! For even more info and options, check out our main website or our new low-bandwidth alternative feed site.

    Links of Note:

    Credits:

    • HAMMERSMITH: NPC
    • Players: Sara McNaughton as "Belinda Carbuckle", Aaron Bowman as "Alousicious Wrinklesnort Esq. III", Matt Buckley as "Missy", Rodney as "Bellatronixx the Magna-Focused", Tom as "Odell Lourapple", Paula as "All Might", Brandon as "Honko the Glorious", Dan as "Shanghai Sally", and Tyson as "Helga Cruciform"
    • Group Name: The Fangs of Hodeitsir
    • Dungeon: The Dungeon of Democratic Necromancy
    • Theme Song: "Chain Lightning" by Gygax
    • Additional Music by: Erang - Featured song A Majestic Shadow
    • Game Rules: Available for free on Github!
    • Daily Wisdom: In a pinch, tying a live cat to your face can make for an excellent poison gas filter.

    Episode Length: 54:31 (we support Chapter Marks!)

    Want to throw us a tip? Every little bit helps pay the bills! Check us out on Patreon, or instead just follow this link to our Pinecast Tip Jar!

    Send us your feedback online: https://pinecast.com/feedback/hammercrawl/aef37181-334f-4849-a45a-513c5c8b1379

    This podcast is powered by Pinecast.

    29 July 2019, 2:09 am
  • 49 minutes 11 seconds
    Ep025: Gamestorm 2019 Part 1: The Bacon was a Lie

    Welcome adventurers to another set of special live recordings! This time around, we're bringing you a three-parter recorded at the Gamestorm convention this past March, right here in Portland, Oregon. As with all of our convention and one-shot gaming events, this game was played "hot seat" style, with new players rotating in every time a party member died in the dungeon. It's always a roaring good time, and this event was no exception! So we hope you enjoy yet another delve into the randomly-generated insanity of HAMMERCRAWL!

    Drop us a line! You can follow us on Twitter and Instagram as "Breakfastpuppy" or email NPC directly as NPC at Breakfastpuppies dot com. We have a Discord Channel and a Facebook Page, too! And let us know your thoughts by leaving a review on iTunes! For even more info and options, check out our main website or our new low-bandwidth alternative feed site.

    Links of Note:

    Credits:

    • HAMMERSMITH: NPC
    • Players: Sara McNaughton as "Belinda Carbuckle", Aaron Bowman as "Alousicious Wrinklesnort Esq. III", Matt Buckley as "Missy", Rodney as "Bellatronixx the Magna-Focused", Tom as "Odell Lourapple", Paula as "All Might", Brandon as "Honko the Glorious", Dan as "Shanghai Sally", and Tyson as "Helga Cruciform"
    • Group Name: The Fangs of Hodeitsir
    • Dungeon: The Dungeon of Democratic Necromancy
    • Theme Song: "Chain Lightning" by Gygax
    • Additional Music by: Erang - Featured song A Majestic Shadow
    • Game Rules: Available for free on Github!
    • Daily Wisdom: One does not simply Mime one's way out of a dungeon.

    Episode Length: 49:12 (we support Chapter Marks!)

    Want to throw us a tip? Every little bit helps pay the bills! Check us out on Patreon, or instead just follow this link to our Pinecast Tip Jar!

    Send us your feedback online: https://pinecast.com/feedback/hammercrawl/9bb13b12-bd8e-4d90-ac61-8faba1da92c4

    This podcast is powered by Pinecast.

    22 July 2019, 2:01 am
  • 50 minutes 2 seconds
    Ep024: WAGONCRAWL 2019! Part 5: Good Night, Sweet Gary

    We are thrilled to finally present you with the fifth and final installment of the grand WAGONCRAWL! 2019 live stage recording. Care to take bets on who in the final lineup will survive?

    Another HUGE thanks to the Wagoncon crew for letting us put on this awesome event at this past 2019 convention, right here in the Columbia Gorge. We have a fantastic time every time we go, and we're looking forward to more gaming excitement come 2020!

    Coming up next in the feed is yet another live event recording, this time from the recent 2019 Gamestorm convention, held every Spring in Portland, OR. Stay tuned for more HAMMERCRAWL!

    As explained in the introduction, we had a bit of an echo problem in the space where we were recording. As such, these have taken an extra special amount of care while editing in order to get them to sound just right. We apologize if any irritating sound artifacts made it into the recording, we did our best to zap them all.

    Drop us a line! You can follow us on Twitter and Instagram as "Breakfastpuppy" or email NPC directly as NPC at Breakfastpuppies dot com. We have a Discord Channel and a Facebook Page, too! And let us know your thoughts by leaving a review on iTunes! For even more info and options, check out our main website or our new low-bandwidth alternative feed site.

    Links of Note:

    Credits:

    • HAMMERSMITH: NPC
    • Players: Matt as "Barnabus Ladyfingers," Sara as "Twitchy Two-Fingers", Master Blaster as "Jarvis Jiggles," and Rob Smith as "Greasefinger the 2nd" aka "Deuce"
    • Group Name: Scooper's Bears
    • Dungeon: The WAGONCRAWL! (via The Secret Chambers of Evil)
    • Theme Song: "Chain Lightning" by Gygax
    • Additional Music by: Erang - Featured song A Majestic Shadow
    • Game Rules: Available for free on Github!
    • Daily Wisdom: In old school games, it's best to think of combat as a "failure state;" if initiative is rolled, then you've probably already lost.

    Episode Length: 50:02 (we support Chapter Marks!)

    Want to throw us a tip? Every little bit helps pay the bills! Check us out on Patreon, or instead just follow this link to our Pinecast Tip Jar!

    Send us your feedback online: https://pinecast.com/feedback/hammercrawl/3801bba8-4327-49e9-b902-32846c341bed

    This podcast is powered by Pinecast.

    8 July 2019, 11:55 pm
  • 35 minutes 51 seconds
    Ep023: WAGONCRAWL 2019! Part 4: My Little Corner of Shame

    And the WAGONCRAWL! 2019 event continues! In this fifth episode, recorded live at Wagoncon in The Dalles, Oregon, two new players try their hand at surviving the dungeon, raising the Total Active Halfling Count to 3. Can we go for four?

    As explained in the introduction, we had a bit of an echo problem in the space where we were recording. As such, these have taken an extra special amount of care while editing in order to get them to sound just right. We apologize if any irritating sound artifacts made it into the recording, we did our best to zap them all.

    Drop us a line! You can follow us on Twitter and Instagram as "Breakfastpuppy" or email NPC directly as NPC at Breakfastpuppies dot com. We have a Discord Channel and a Facebook Page, too! And let us know your thoughts by leaving a review on iTunes! For even more info and options, check out our main website or our new low-bandwidth alternative feed site.

    Links of Note:

    Credits:

    • HAMMERSMITH: NPC
    • Players: Ross Hammer as "Bavel Dawn," Matt as "Barnabus Ladyfingers," Connor as "Jose Greasefinger," Sara as "Twitchy Two-Fingers", and Master Blaster as "Jarvis Jiggles"
    • Group Name: Scooper's Bears
    • Dungeon: The WAGONCRAWL! (via The Secret Chambers of Evil)
    • Theme Song: "Chain Lightning" by Gygax
    • Additional Music by: Erang - Featured song A Majestic Shadow
    • Game Rules: Available for free on Github!
    • Daily Wisdom: Remember to always be on the lookout for secret rooms, as well as stuff that falls from places and things and stuff.

    Episode Length: 27:41 (we support Chapter Marks!)

    Want to throw us a tip? Every little bit helps pay the bills! Check us out on Patreon, or instead just follow this link to our Pinecast Tip Jar!

    Send us your feedback online: https://pinecast.com/feedback/hammercrawl/db3d689b-547c-4c19-8117-9d86db3dc9c0

    This podcast is powered by Pinecast.

    24 June 2019, 1:44 am
  • 30 minutes 45 seconds
    Ep022: WAGONCRAWL 2019! Part 3: We Have Become Gods

    WAGONCRAWL! 2019 continues in this third episode of the special event, recorded live at Wagoncon in The Dalles, Oregon. Will the new Halfling's streak of good luck continue to bless the party? Listen in and find out!

    As explained in the introduction, we had a bit of an echo problem in the space where we were recording. As such, these have taken an extra special amount of care while editing in order to get them to sound just right. We apologize if any irritating sound artifacts made it into the recording, we did our best to zap them all.

    Drop us a line! You can follow us on Twitter and Instagram as "Breakfastpuppy" or email NPC directly as NPC at Breakfastpuppies dot com. We have a Discord Channel and a Facebook Page, too! And let us know your thoughts by leaving a review on iTunes! For even more info and options, check out our main website or our new low-bandwidth alternative feed site.

    Links of Note:

    Credits:

    • HAMMERSMITH: NPC
    • Players: Ross Hammer as "Bavel Dawn," Matt as "Barnabus Ladyfingers," Sean as "Burly Hammerbeard," and Connor as "Jose Greasefinger"
    • Group Name: Scooper's Bears
    • Dungeon: The WAGONCRAWL! (via The Secret Chambers of Evil)
    • Theme Song: "Chain Lightning" by Gygax
    • Additional Music by: Erang - Featured song A Majestic Shadow
    • Game Rules: Available for free on Github!
    • Daily Wisdom: Sometimes you gotta just throw caution to the darkness, seize the moment, and 'ride the frog' man.

    Episode Length: 30:45 (we support Chapter Marks!)

    Want to throw us a tip? Every little bit helps pay the bills! Check us out on Patreon, or instead just follow this link to our Pinecast Tip Jar!

    Send us your feedback online: https://pinecast.com/feedback/hammercrawl/202159e1-bb56-46ed-bf1e-63b2be9ff23d

    This podcast is powered by Pinecast.

    17 June 2019, 6:48 pm
  • 27 minutes 41 seconds
    Ep021: WAGONCRAWL 2019! Part 2: Two Halflings, a Wizard, and a Clown

    The super-awesome 2019 WAGONCRAWL! live adventure continues with this second episode! Recorded on stage at Wagoncon 2019 in The Dalles, Oregon. Will Lady Deathfinger's replacement bring a better round of luck to Scooper's Bears as they venture deeper into THE SECRET CHAMBERS OF EVIL? Listen in and find out on this next episode of THE WAGONCRAWL! (ominous music)

    As explained in the introduction, we had a bit of an echo problem in the space where we were recording. As such, these have taken an extra special amount of care while editing in order to get them to sound just right. We apologize if any irritating sound artifacts made it into the recording, we did our best to zap them all.

    Drop us a line! You can follow us on Twitter and Instagram as "Breakfastpuppy" or email NPC directly as NPC at Breakfastpuppies dot com. We have a Discord Channel and a Facebook Page, too! And let us know your thoughts by leaving a review on iTunes! For even more info and options, check out our main website or our new low-bandwidth alternative feed site.

    Links of Note:

    Credits:

    • HAMMERSMITH: NPC
    • Players: Ross Hammer as "Bavel Dawn," Matt as "Barnabus Ladyfingers," Sean as "Burly Hammerbeard," and Connor as "Jose Greasefinger"
    • Group Name: Scooper's Bears
    • Dungeon: The WAGONCRAWL! (via The Secret Chambers of Evil)
    • Theme Song: "Chain Lightning" by Gygax
    • Additional Music by: Erang - Featured song A Majestic Shadow
    • Game Rules: Available for free on Github!
    • Daily Wisdom: When somebody asks to be tied up with chain, you don't ask them why. You just help them.

    Episode Length: 27:41 (we support Chapter Marks!)

    Want to throw us a tip? Every little bit helps pay the bills! Check us out on Patreon, or instead just follow this link to our Pinecast Tip Jar!

    Send us your feedback online: https://pinecast.com/feedback/hammercrawl/84274285-d26f-459e-8522-f4c03a9876a5

    This podcast is powered by Pinecast.

    10 June 2019, 5:52 pm
  • 37 minutes 34 seconds
    Ep020: WAGONCRAWL 2019! Part 1: Lady Deathfinger Does Not Do Gross

    AT LONG LAST, WE RETURN! Sorry for the long wait, folks! The Breakfast Puppies setup has recently undergone a complete studio move and upgrade, which has taken a lot more work than initially planned. But after a break for the convention season, we're back to regular releases of HAMMERCRAWL! This time we bring you the first of the new WAGONCRAWL! adventures, recorded live on stage at Wagoncon 2019, right here in the beautiful Columbia Gorge. We had an awesome turnout of folks ready to cycle through the meatgrinder, scoring us a good handful of episodes to roll out for your listening enjoyment.

    As explained in the introduction, we had a bit of an echo problem in the space where we were recording. As such, these have taken an extra special amount of care while editing in order to get them to sound just right. We apologize if any irritating sound artifacts made it into the recording, we did our best to zap them all.

    Drop us a line! You can follow us on Twitter and Instagram as "Breakfastpuppy" or email NPC directly as NPC at Breakfastpuppies dot com. We have a Discord Channel and a Facebook Page, too! And let us know your thoughts by leaving a review on iTunes! For even more info and options, check out our main website or our new low-bandwidth alternative feed site.

    Links of Note:

    Credits:

    • HAMMERSMITH: NPC
    • Players: Ross Hammer as "Bavel Dawn," Janell as "Lady Enu Deathbringer," Sean as "Burly Hammerbeard," and Connor as "Jose Greasefinger"
    • Group Name: Scooper's Bears
    • Dungeon: The WAGONCRAWL! (via The Secret Chambers of Evil)
    • Theme Song: "Chain Lightning" by Gygax
    • Additional Music by: Erang - Featured song A Majestic Shadow
    • Game Rules: Available for free on Github!
    • Daily Wisdom: The renowned hatred between Clowns and Potted Plants may be something you can use to your advantage.

    Episode Length: 37:34 (we support Chapter Marks!)

    Want to throw us a tip? Every little bit helps pay the bills! Check us out on Patreon, or instead just follow this link to our Pinecast Tip Jar!

    Send us your feedback online: https://pinecast.com/feedback/hammercrawl/cbbd5f89-2330-4e69-82cf-794e3310a8ed

    This podcast is powered by Pinecast.

    3 June 2019, 9:53 pm
  • More Episodes? Get the App
© MoonFM 2024. All rights reserved.