This is a collaboration with Sweating the Small Stuff! Please go listen to their episode "019 - The Social Trap" on Black Mirror's Smithereen. I make a guest appearance and it's a hoot!

Black Mirror is never a show to shy away from the horrific elements of technology. However, Season 5 Episode 2 titled "Smithereen" is one of the few episodes that focuses the "mirror" on something universally understood today. Social Media. The Company Smithereen is so similar to the social media of today that the parallels are obvious. But instead of making the comparisons dystopic, Black Mirror shows how the simplest intentions can ripple into tragic consequences.

By constantly refining the excitement and pleasure we feel from social media, Facebook and companies like it have created mental reliance. Like B.F. Skinner and his birds, Social media has trained us to have a positive learned response to our phones, that keeps us wanting more. Though the word "addiction" may be strong, people have become emotionally reliant on their phones. I myself find it hard to fight the quick glance at my phone during dull moments.

But it is not all doom and gloom. We can fight our reliance on Social media by making the separation between ourselves and our phone more concrete. Turn off your notifications. That way you will not receive the instant gratification of a satisfying ringtone.

Don't take your phone everywhere. If you are in your home, leave your phone in one room. Don't take it with you. That way you know where it is . If you need it, you can go to that specific room, use the phone and then return to what you were doing.

Finally, utilize mindfulness practices when you feel you're running on "autopilot". If you have taken your phone out for the 20th time just to check notifications and not actually check the time or google something you need. Then it's worth taking a moment and re-evaluating your mental state.

Phones are a tool, and I don't remember ever fighting the urge to check a hammer or screwdriver. Use your phone and social media as the means to connect you to people and not as a distraction from the important things in your life.

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Everyone is usually sorry for something. "Sorry I'm late" "Sorry you didn't like it" "Sorry for the inconvenience". It's easy to be sorry. But its hard, and much more rewarding, to be thankful.

The next time you want to use the word Sorry, try using the word Thank you. This will open up your brain to a whole world of reasons to be thankful. "Thank you for being patient" "Thank you for being honest" "Thank you for understanding". When you approach a situation positively, you not only are showing your gratitude to people, but you make people feel respected and valued.

There are situations that might require a "Sorry" such as creating an issue for someone. But by using "Thank you" instead, you are immediately assigning people an adjective. "Thank you for understanding" now that person is understanding and kind. "Thank you for being patient" now that person is patient. You are paying people a compliment and they are more likely to reciprocate that compliment then feel bad about the situation.

And when you show people your gratitude and approach any issue with a positive attitude you'll want to say Thank you, not Sorry.

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It's impossible to know where you'll be in 6 months. But you can help that future version of yourself today. We are often real jerks to our future selves because we treat them like a personal butler. Signing them up for things we don't want to deal with now: "I'll get to it later", "I'll do that next week", "Why should I worry about that now?" But like taxes, you will have to pay sooner or later.

To combat this form of time entitlement, you should start thinking like a good roommate to future you. If you're waiting by the door, take out the trash. If you're taking off your shoes, untie them, so they're ready to be put on later. If you can accomplish something small right now, get it done as quickly as possible. Your future self will thank you for it the same way you thank a roommate when they do something nice.

Sometimes our future selves get overwhelmed because it's easy to get ambitious. Signing up for a lot of things now feels good, because we all want to be more accomplished when we're older. But remember that future you is not a Superhero. They need rest and relaxation just like you do right now. So budget time for long breaks and doing nothing. Making time to recharge will help you be even more productive in the long run. And don't forget that saying NO to unimportant obligations is always an option.

Future you has a life outside of work, give them the tools and time they need to succeed.

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What do you value most? Possibility or possessions? That is the major difference between the three items you can own. And they all are based on levels of potential.

Money, for example, has infinite potential. With enough money, you can fund any project you'd like, make anything, or buy anything. But when you use it, it loses all of it's potential and becomes an item or a possession. These are things like decorations, trinkets, and toys. And once you have it, the potential is almost completely gone (unless you're very crafty).

However, there is a third level of potential that sits in between money and items. These are tools. Tools can help you achieve your goals without losing their future possibilities. On the contrary, by having effective tools, you are now more free to make your dreams come true.

And by combining all three types of potential, you can create art and products. For example, by having wood (an item/trinket) and a saw (a tool) you can craft a chair. And then you can use money (infinite potential) to ship that chair to a customer.

By using all three levels of potential you can effectively achieve you goals.

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How do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice. You can never practice enough. But the spark sets world champions apart from everyone else is their love of practice. Their love of the process and creation.

Think back to when you've done something you disliked. Think about how you felt before and after. Did your level of excitement remain constant? Chances are your excitement and passion decreased (quickly).

Now think about doing something you love to do. How excited do you feel just thinking about doing it? How passionate are you about getting back to work?

By creating and doing that activity, your brain cycles through a few feelings. Such as fulfillment, purpose, curiosity, amazement, pride, and many others. And these feelings help create a desire to keep going. To continue the process and move onto the next step.

By Creating something you love, the process becomes what is important, not the destination or the outcome.

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The Internet and Social media are one of the most powerful tools ever created. Communication has never been easier. However that constant flow of information can sometimes feel like drinking out of a fire hydrant. There is so much information and it's easy to feel overwhelmed with the news and updates you're recieving.

Social media websites like Facebook, Instagram and Twitter are designed to make you stay on the site. They want your attention so they created THE FEED. "THE FEED" is the unlimited stream of information that you can mindlessly scroll through and see all the updates from celebrities, friends, family and news outlets. However this stream is meant to show you the exciting as well as the mundane. And all of the interesting and exciting content you see can contribute to feelings of inadequacy and self doubt.

The way to take control of the feed is to only use Social Media for the features you really like. If you only use facebook for messanger and Facebook stories, then try to distance yourself from the feed. If you only use Twitter for the news or updates on few people you're interested in, then unsubscribe from the other accounts that are not adding value to your life.

By focusing on how Social Media can benefit your life and function as a tool, you can take back control of your internet experience.

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To many people, the dream is to be a multitasker. Who wouldn't want to be a smart, capable person with the drive to do 20 things at once? However, multitasking can hinder your growth and sanity far more than it can help. When you multitask, your brain is divided.

Your brain isn't a pie chart that you can cut into nice and neat pieces. Everytime you divide your attention, your brain needs to process and reset what it was doing. If you don't give it enough time, then it will become easy to get overwhelmed with all of the activites going on. Therefore it will take you longer to multitask 5 things instead of just doing those 5 things one after the other. Monotasking is a way to break the multitasking curse.

A nice example is tossing and catching an egg in the air for 5 seconds. If you juggle 5 eggs in the air at once for 5 seconds, you're going to feel overwhelmed very fast and potentially break the eggs. But if you take the individual time and focus for each egg, then it will take more time but each egg will be safe and you'll accomplish what you set out to do.

Look at your daily schedule. On most planners you only get one column of activites per day. It's helpful to think of your day like this. Each chunk of time should be spent on starting and finishing one goal. Once it's done, then you can easily move on to the next activity. Which is far more fulfilling than slowly and painfully trying to keep 5 activites going at once.

By fully completing one task, you can enjoy a small dopamine rush that you've accomplished something and then move on to the next dopamine rush.

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Let's try something. Can you tell me how many times you've played your favorite sport/game/hobby? Probably not. Can you tell me how many times you've done something you dislike/hate? Chances are its never or once. But there is a grey area inbetween. When you start working on something interesting, take a step back and ask yourself: Am I keeping count? If the answer is YES then you might want to reconsider how devoted your are to that project.

When you keep count, the activity you are doing has become a chore. A box that you check off to say that you did it. And when you are persuing your passions or goals keeping count usually fades away. Let's go back to counting your favorite sport/game/hobby. Because doing the activity is fulfilling and important to you, it's easy to lose track to how often you do it. Because the amount of times is not important. The act of doing it is.

You know you've really found something you love, when you do it so much that you couldn't possibly keep count.

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Making choices can be the hardest part of living in the 21st century. It's easy to feel like even the smallest decision will change your life forever. But it's even easier to think that you know better than other people because you'r more analytical than most. And there in lies the problem. Though its easy to make choices for others, especially when you feel that you're more experienced, it's far more important to stop and give everyone a choice on your choice.

Confused?

I don't blame you. Choosing things in the 21st century is hard. And the best way to simplify it, is by allowing others to work out their own problems. And if you want to help, then let them make the decision to accept your help.

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Since it is Valentine's Day I thought it would be fitting to talk about Self Worth and Self Esteem. In the modern Social Media world it is incredibly easy to make yourself feel lesser because someone else has more fake internet points than you. But if you learn anything today, please learn that YOU ARE ENOUGH. No matter what anyone says, you deserve happiness and good things in your life. And taking a second to put down your phone, TV remote, or game controller and just say outloud "I am enough" could make an extreme difference in your life.